❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

The way i don't care if my bed is made unless someone is going to see it. I like clean, nice smelling sheets but if they aren't made I could not care less.
Clean sheets are a must! And I love things to *be* clean and tidy, I just like to spend my limited energy on doing other things than the constant hamster wheel of making the bed, etc
 
07.08.25

Partner Peeves

What would your partner (past or present) say their biggest pet peeve is about living with you?

It can be a silly little thing or something you've been working to fix. Let us see the real you! 🤭
As my user name might suggest, and much to the chagrin of my partner who christened me it, I'm a large clumsy oaf.
Not only do I break things easily, (I've also been called BammBamm 🙂) but I just don't see the mess around me, honest! 😉 But I do try.
@PrettyLilPussy19 @velona whilst I don't always make the bed, freshly laundered sheets are one of life's great pleasures, the feel 😁
 
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Ok in order of bad to worst

• I have a alot of hair - this means there are random hair ties and bobby pins everywhere.
• I refuse to match socks anymore. They go in a basket. Match it yourself.
• I will return the milk to the fridge with the meerest suggestion of liquid in it.
• I won't always put the new roll back on the toilet paper holder but just sit on top (😬 this usually only happens in the middle of the night or when Im in a hurry but im aware this makes me a monster 🫣)
At the risk of being insincere or a simp, there are things on this list that my wife does. That did annoy me early in our relationship, but now.::it’s just who she is. She’s never not going to leave half drunk glasses of water everywhere. Or put cans or carbonated soda with two sips left in them into the refrigerator and forget about it until I have to throw it out in three days. Shes going to use 5 knives a days and leave all of them on the cutting board. It’s just going to happen. But he reached a point where I just accept it and it makes me smile when she does these little things that only I know she’s going to do. It’s an intimacy and a familiarity I have learned to embrace and treasure rather than get frustrated by.
 
At the risk of being insincere or a simp, there are things on this list that my wife does. That did annoy me early in our relationship, but now.::it’s just who she is. She’s never not going to leave half drunk glasses of water everywhere. Or put cans or carbonated soda with two sips left in them into the refrigerator and forget about it until I have to throw it out in three days. Shes going to use 5 knives a days and leave all of them on the cutting board. It’s just going to happen. But he reached a point where I just accept it and it makes me smile when she does these little things that only I know she’s going to do. It’s an intimacy and a familiarity I have learned to embrace and treasure rather than get frustrated by.
I think this is the make or break difference in a relationship right here - if each person can accept, indeed appreciate, the quirks of the other it’s going to be a very different experience than if one/both feels frustrated or resentful. Sadly not everyone can get to the accepting/appreciating stage…
 
07.08.25

Partner Peeves

What would your partner (past or present) say their biggest pet peeve is about living with you?

It can be a silly little thing or something you've been working to fix. Let us see the real you! 🤭
The thing someone needs to know about living with meeeeee is you’re going to drive me there. If I wanna go, we’re going. And you’re driving.

🤷🏼‍♀️ 🚗 👑

Edit to add - I am considering “fixing” this but… 🙄
 
07.08.25

Partner Peeves

What would your partner (past or present) say their biggest pet peeve is about living with you?

It can be a silly little thing or something you've been working to fix. Let us see the real you! 🤭

My partner would say the biggest pet peeve living with me is that...a rolling stone grows no moss. Insofar as I'm always moving. I'm getting up to clean, cook, organize, clean again. I don't really just veg around, and I expect him to also participate in it. Because I start to have creeping, festering - and then obvious - resentment when he doesn't lend any hands to clean. It's a house with two full time working professionals and all the stuff that goes with that and kids and pets and it always needs to be cleaned somewhere, somehow. A weekend is errand time even though he wants to sit around.

Also, I don't like to snuggle.

I'm not worried about what past partners are pet peeved about, including the one(s) who think(s) their metaphorical shit dont stink but are happy to gaslight you about it.
 
Ooh! I know the answer to this one!
My wife has two pet peeves. The first one is that I touch her too much, to the point that it's "creepy and offputting."
The second is that I'm messy. I agree. But I'd say I'm more cluttered than messy. Anything that's really messy (could attract bugs or make a smell) gets cleaned up right away. Everything else can wait until I have a free moment. She doesn't bother with such distinctions.
are we married??
 
The thing someone needs to know about living with meeeeee is you’re going to drive me there. If I wanna go, we’re going. And you’re driving.

🤷🏼‍♀️ 🚗 👑

Edit to add - I am considering “fixing” this but… 🙄
I will drive you anywhere you wanna go but I get to control the radio.. We are listening to my playlist and I will not negotiate unless you distract me by popping your boobs out 😎
 
07.08.25

Partner Peeves

What would your partner (past or present) say their biggest pet peeve is about living with you?

It can be a silly little thing or something you've been working to fix. Let us see the real you! 🤭
Messy.

I don't see it. Until it becomes an insurmountable heap. Then it becomes something to procrastinate about and ignore.
You can leave stuff on the stairs all you like. I'll step over it. Not deliberately. I don't see it.
I'll get round to doing the stuff. Just a).don't nag me and b) do not watch over me while I do it, complain about how I do it, and tell be how to do it better. I WILL leave.
If it bothers you that much, YOU do it.
You will know this when you first meet me..I dont pretend to be a domestic goddess.
So don't moan about it 15 years later.

I'm not saying this is a good thing that I won't improve upon. I know it's annoying.

Anyway confession over.
 
Messy.

I don't see it. Until it becomes an insurmountable heap. Then it becomes something to procrastinate about and ignore.
You can leave stuff on the stairs all you like. I'll step over it. Not deliberately. I don't see it.
I'll get round to doing the stuff. Just a).don't nag me and b) do not watch over me while I do it, complain about how I do it, and tell be how to do it better. I WILL leave.
If it bothers you that much, YOU do it.
You will know this when you first meet me..I dont pretend to be a domestic goddess.
So don't moan about it 15 years later.

I'm not saying this is a good thing that I won't improve upon. I know it's annoying.

Anyway confession over.
Such a beautiful disaster... and a goddess even if not the domestic kind.
 
07.17.25

When under stress are you more likely to react with flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or flop?

Flight (you get the hell outta there!) - Have you ever quit when things get hard?
Fight (you start swinging or mouthing off) - Are you good at standing up for yourself?
Freeze (you feel stuck and numb) - Have there ever been moments where you thought of the perfect retort way too late?
Fawn (you become overly agreeable and try to make everyone happy) - Are you known for trying to make everyone else happy? Do you go out of your way to make yourself happy?
Flop (you submit (not in the sexy way)) - Have you ever just given in to someone even though it wasn't what you wanted?

I think we all exhibit these to different degrees depending on the circumstance - but which one resonates most with you generally? What circumstances bring out the different responses?
 
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07.17.25

When under stress are you more lightly to react with flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or flop?

Flight (you get the hell outta there!) - Have you ever quit when things get hard?
I can do this. Especially if there’s not a lot of time or energy invested already. Sunk cost my ass. I’ll put up with more stress if it’s a thing I’ve cared about longer. Also I think this is related to burnout which is absolutely a thing I’ve experienced from college to work to relationships..
Fight (you start swinging or mouthing off) - Are you good at standing up for yourself?
Less so now. I’m generally chiller than as a youth. I don’t internalize other people’s anger in the same way. That’s their shit man. But as a younger person…look…let’s just say it was smart of me to cultivate much larger friends 🤣
Freeze (you feel stuck and numb) - Have there ever been moments where you thought of the perfect retort way too late?
Of course. I’ll rework tense moments ad nauseam. Stupid brain.
Fawn (you become overly agreeable and try to make everyone happy) - Are you known for trying to make everyone else happy?
No. Male privilege FTW!
Do you go out of your way to make yourself happy?
See above only Yes.
Flop (you submit (not in the sexy way)) - Have you ever just given in to someone even though it wasn't what you wanted?
At work I sorta settled on the “I’ll say my piece, make sure my boss understands my point. And if they don’t agree, well that’s their job. Just don’t yell at me later.”

Personally, depends on the thing. Most things I’m not willing to go to the mat for so I don’t really consider that flopping. Just choosing my fights.
 
07.17.25

When under stress are you more lightly to react with flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or flop?

Flight (you get the hell outta there!) - Have you ever quit when things get hard?
Fight (you start swinging or mouthing off) - Are you good at standing up for yourself?
Freeze (you feel stuck and numb) - Have there ever been moments where you thought of the perfect retort way too late?
Fawn (you become overly agreeable and try to make everyone happy) - Are you known for trying to make everyone else happy? Do you go out of your way to make yourself happy?
Flop (you submit (not in the sexy way)) - Have you ever just given in to someone even though it wasn't what you wanted?
Oh man.. my mouth gets me in all kinds of trouble when I feel back into a corner.. 😬 I tend to want to fight it out and my sassy mouth usually backs me up on that.
BUT.. at the same time there’s always a part of me that has started to “Flop” because fighting takes up energy that I just don’t have to spare these days.
When you’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions and exhaustion, giving in just seems like the easiest way off the ride. Ya know?
What circumstances bring out the different responses?

For me it depends on the level of closeness and built trust I have with that particular person. Can I trust you to stick it out with me through the hard conversations and fights? Are you someone whose opinion I really value and whom I want to build a stronger bond with? It’s also largely based on the way they handle the confrontation on their end...I tend to match energy 👀
 
07.17.25

When under stress are you more lightly to react with flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or flop?

Flight (you get the hell outta there!) - Have you ever quit when things get hard?
Face to face ive never run away, however online or when working on the phone. Ill nowadays walk away or hang up. (Not before allowing my sarcasm out for an air)
Fight (you start swinging or mouthing off) - Are you good at standing up for yourself?
This was me when I was younger. I was the one to swing first. Several broken bones and my nose a few times calmed that down.
Freeze (you feel stuck and numb) - Have there ever been moments where you thought of the perfect retort way too late?
God yes, I've definately thought of a verbal sting after the fact.
Fawn (you become overly agreeable and try to make everyone happy) - Are you known for trying to make everyone else happy?
I've found that is how I've been at work, I never cared about my stats, more making sure everyone else was good. Doing jobs that the next pay bracket should be doing.
Do you go out of your way to make yourself happy?
No, my happiness has never mattered.
Flop (you submit (not in the sexy way)) - Have you ever just given in to someone even though it wasn't what you wanted?
Well here is the funny bit. I do that now, not just give in. I now suffer with something called NEAD, so when I get highly stressed, I either, collapse and blackout or have a seizure.
I think we all exhibit these to different degrees depending on the circumstance - but which one resonates most with you generally?
Now flop 😀
What circumstances bring out the different responses?
Think I've said that above lol.
 
Interesting, hadn’t run into that binning of responses before. Way better than just fight or flight! The choices I tend to consider are fight, flee, feign, or submit. (I think that came from a David Weber series?)

I’ve used (experienced?) each of your listed responses at different times. My general goal is to understand what the flipping firetruck just happened, a nontrivial problem in most such cases imo. From there decisions can be made. Try to rush me, and I tend to get increasingly hostile - obvious exceptions are obvious, like getting out of a burning building. In a mildly (or more) toxic work environment, I agree that making your point is critical, especially when it’s overridden by a boss and/or other issues appear.

I’m a fan of debate, given time, and tend to try to pick out other participants’ perspectives. I am aware of the value of time and realize this can’t always happen - it can only rarely happen! - but keeping open communication is absolutely critical imo.

Of the list you put up, ‘fight’ is a biggie for me - verbally/socially far more nowadays than physically. Fleeing can be the ‘best’ choice if given a particularly shitty hand, but usually has strong negatives - the winners write the history.
 
07.17.25

When under stress are you more likely to react with flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or flop?

Flight (you get the hell outta there!) - Have you ever quit when things get hard?
Fight (you start swinging or mouthing off) - Are you good at standing up for yourself?
Freeze (you feel stuck and numb) - Have there ever been moments where you thought of the perfect retort way too late?
Fawn (you become overly agreeable and try to make everyone happy) - Are you known for trying to make everyone else happy? Do you go out of your way to make yourself happy?
Flop (you submit (not in the sexy way)) - Have you ever just given in to someone even though it wasn't what you wanted?

I think we all exhibit these to different degrees depending on the circumstance - but which one resonates most with you generally? What circumstances bring out the different responses?
I suppose it depends on what kind of stress we’re talking about.

I’ve done all of those at some point, but my main go-to would be fight. Not swinging and mouthing off so much as rage. I found out a long time ago that when I feel anxious about something, if I get pissed off (about anything), my anxiety turns to self confidence and focus pretty fast.

I tend to get very focused when angry, I think more clearly, I’m more calculated with my words and, except for the fact that I could explode at any moment, I’m kind of better at being in the moment! 🤣

I’m pretty good at suppressing my anger, putting it in an oven somewhere deep inside me and running off the energy it produces.

When I answer these type of questions, I really start to think there is something very wrong with me! 🤣
 
07.17.25

When under stress are you more likely to react with flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or flop?

Flight (you get the hell outta there!) - Have you ever quit when things get hard?
Fight (you start swinging or mouthing off) - Are you good at standing up for yourself?
Freeze (you feel stuck and numb) - Have there ever been moments where you thought of the perfect retort way too late?
Fawn (you become overly agreeable and try to make everyone happy) - Are you known for trying to make everyone else happy? Do you go out of your way to make yourself happy?
Flop (you submit (not in the sexy way)) - Have you ever just given in to someone even though it wasn't what you wanted?

I think we all exhibit these to different degrees depending on the circumstance - but which one resonates most with you generally? What circumstances bring out the different responses?
Fawn but positively...I have been told that is my love trait, I am a fixer, and I am easy to talk to...so yes fawn is a good word and I am happy when others are happy to a point some people are happy when they fuss so...Be happy
 
07.17.25

When under stress are you more likely to react with flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or flop?
As someone who's been under a stupid amount of stress lately and who is studying things like this, I've been paying a lot of attention to how I react. And after a situation at work (hello grown man screaming at me and throwing things), I'm a bit dismayed to find I freeze in the moment of high stress. I feel like everything inside me goes in slow motion and I can only just stand there and take it. Later, I have lots of good points and perfect retorts. I wish it was something I could fix.
Flight (you get the hell outta there!) - Have you ever quit when things get hard?
I have mixed feelings about this. I was raising in a situation where I would get verbally unloaded on and then that person would run and lock themselves in a bedroom. It makes you want to chase and make things right, not run away too.
Do I quit when things get hard? Sometimes. Especially if I'm already feeling down low. Not a trait I'm proud of.
Fight (you start swinging or mouthing off) - Are you good at standing up for yourself?
I'll fight for something - rights, relationships, justice - but just fight? No. I don't like feeling angry and out of control or like I'm being misunderstood or not listened to. I just go quiet until I can have a logical conversation (if it's ever possible) or I leave the situation. I hate fighting.
Am I good at standing up for myself? Recent experiences would say no.
Freeze (you feel stuck and numb) - Have there ever been moments where you thought of the perfect retort way too late?
I think this is my default. Freeze and wait for my brain to catch up to reality.
See above.
Fawn (you become overly agreeable and try to make everyone happy) - Are you known for trying to make everyone else happy? Do you go out of your way to make yourself happy?
I don't fawn for myself but I do try really hard to diffuse tense situations or heavy conversations in groups.
Am I known for trying to make everyone else happy? Lol, I mean it's totally possible right? I'm just working on the formula for world happiness.
Flop (you submit (not in the sexy way)) - Have you ever just given in to someone even though it wasn't what you wanted?
I do this at work a lot. I get tired of talking in circles to people who can't grasp the point and I just give up. "Whatever you want." Sometimes you just have to conserve your mental energy.
Do I just give in? Not when it really matters. But on small things, all the time.
I think we all exhibit these to different degrees depending on the circumstance - but which one resonates most with you generally? What circumstances bring out the different responses?
As far as circumstances, my reaction depends a lot on how much the outcome matters - are you hurting yourself or someone else? I'm much more likely to fight than flee. Are you just trying to show out and get your way or incapable of hearing that you might be wrong? Sure - flop. I don't feel like arguing about it.
 
I want to be able to answer this question without sounding like a dick but I don't know that I can.
I think I approach everything in life with basically a line in the sand drawn all the way around me and I am constantly ready to battle.
So I guess my go to is to fight. 🤷.
I am a bit large, confident, stern and stoic.
I am normally clear and forthcoming with my opinions if asked but I don't impose them on others.
I give respect as much as I demand it but if we can't agree to disagree I am definitely ready to fight it out and get it over with versus retreating or surrendering.
Live and let live..
Don't sweat the small stuff...
But never cower
Never submit..
Lol yep sounded like a total dick.. but at least I can laugh at myself about it 😎
 
more likely to react with flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or flop?

My primary response to stress is some variation of Fight. (Fighting can take many forms.) Thats where my instinctual response lies. It is how I was raised, so it’s a combination of a deep cultural setting and a deep familial setting.

Flight: I cannot recall any major stress incident in my life where I took flight. As I jokingly tell people “I’m too slow and too stupid to run for it.” I always say “there are only two reasons a man should run - mad dogs and monsters”.

Freeze: Can’t recall ever freezing in response to stress. There have been times when I took no action in response to stress, but they were times when I chose to not react/not act.

Fawn: I think the many forms of fawning are an effective tactic for dealing with stressors, so yes, I have gone “full ass-kissing mode” to deal with stressors.

Flop: Yes, this is an effective tactic as well. There are times when you’re facing stressors where the best way to deal with it is to take a deep breath, suck it up, and let it ride. These are the circumstances where it’s not worth the fight
 
I want to be able to answer this question without sounding like a dick but I don't know that I can.
I think I approach everything in life with basically a line in the sand drawn all the way around me and I am constantly ready to battle.
So I guess my go to is to fight. 🤷.
I am a bit large, confident, stern and stoic.
I am normally clear and forthcoming with my opinions if asked but I don't impose them on others.
I give respect as much as I demand it but if we can't agree to disagree I am definitely ready to fight it out and get it over with versus retreating or surrendering.
Live and let live..
Don't sweat the small stuff...
But never cower
Never submit..
Lol yep sounded like a total dick.. but at least I can laugh at myself about it 😎

For what it’s worth, I don’t think that sounded dick-ish at all…
You just sound like you have very strong boundaries and are passionate about what you believe and what is worth fighting for.
🤷🏻‍♀️
 
07.17.25

When under stress are you more likely to react with flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or flop?

Flight (you get the hell outta there!) - Have you ever quit when things get hard?
Fight (you start swinging or mouthing off) - Are you good at standing up for yourself?
Freeze (you feel stuck and numb) - Have there ever been moments where you thought of the perfect retort way too late?
Fawn (you become overly agreeable and try to make everyone happy) - Are you known for trying to make everyone else happy? Do you go out of your way to make yourself happy?
Flop (you submit (not in the sexy way)) - Have you ever just given in to someone even though it wasn't what you wanted?

I think we all exhibit these to different degrees depending on the circumstance - but which one resonates most with you generally? What circumstances bring out the different responses?

I think I do all of these regularly except fight. I wish I could fight back a little more - I have done it in the past but I really have to be pushed over the edge and then I just get nasty. It’s only happened a couple of times and I didn’t love it. I wish I could be someone who gives as good as she gets and is able to mouth off in a funny way.
 
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