Leahaven

[Toro1886]

Now THAT would be an accomplishment!

here's hoping! ;-)

 

[Toro1886]

I love telling you about the details just as much as you like reading them, but writing details takes a lot of time. And the busier my life gets experiencing the "details," the less time I have to write about it all. So I am debating if I should go back to writing as fast as I can with little to no details, or if I should pick only certain experiences and write about those in detail. One gives an overall view of the various happenings in my life, the other explains exactly what happened in specific situations. The former does better at keeping pace and creates more posts. The latter is more of a historical view with much fewer posts. I am leaning toward the detailed, historical view.

maybe a combination of both ?!

 

[LeaHaven]

yes a lot could happen with that. how do you think he would take it?
does she know his cock is caged sometimes, and she knows about the other boys?

I think he would be mortified...and then get an erection that would lasts for hours.

She does not know about the cage or the other guys - especially not Jack.

 

[LeaHaven]

IMHO, this decision should be made very carefully. Obviously, you can’t put toothpaste back in the tube, and once you tell Erin (or anyone), you can’t “un-tell” it. You need to be sure you can trust her 100%.

Would it be erotically humiliating for him? As I believe he is like me, I would say, very much so. I have had “accidents” in my panties just from my wife suggesting that perhaps her friends should know that I hand-wash her panties and bras.

Mor about blowjobs: I’m not sure if you’ve stated this, but when Robbie is aware that you’ve had another man’s cock in your mouth, it would be deliciously humiliating for him to be required to recite, for you, why his penis is not worthy of such a privilege.

Erin already knows. Back when Robbie and I were having our marital problems, because of our sexual problems, I needed someone to talk to. I needed to know, "Is this normal? For this long?" I knew Erin could keep it to herself, and she always has. And by the way, she loves Robbie to death, and he idolizes her. I think it would be very erotically humiliating for him, especially if I time it just right.

As for your blowjob idea, I think it is devious and mean, NancyPan. I love that!

 

[LeaHaven]

I see this so often, where a person's comments are a projection of their own fantasies, and have nothing to do with the person they're commenting on. It's nice to see someone recognize this and acknowledge it. (And now I'm wondering if I do it too )

I'm guessing we all do

 

[policywank]

So I should tell him that Erin knows?

Hmm....I can see a lot of opportunities being born out of that

As you said he will probably find it very stimulating, but even if he doesn't it is the truth now so he might as well know about it. Once that sinks in the prospect that you will tell her he is caged will be another layer of thrill. You don't even have to do it. Just saying you are thinking about it (and say it like he gets no say in the matter) will get his mind going.

 

[policywank]

IMHO, this decision should be made very carefully. Obviously, you can’t put toothpaste back in the tube, and once you tell Erin (or anyone), you can’t “un-tell” it. You need to be sure you can trust her 100%.

Would it be erotically humiliating for him? As I believe he is like me, I would say, very much so. I have had “accidents” in my panties just from my wife suggesting that perhaps her friends should know that I hand-wash her panties and bras.

Mor about blowjobs: I’m not sure if you’ve stated this, but when Robbie is aware that you’ve had another man’s cock in your mouth, it would be deliciously humiliating for him to be required to recite, for you, why his penis is not worthy of such a privilege.

I have noticed that a lot of women tend to see PIV as the ultimate form of sex and the ultimate thing that she can give to the "other" man. But guys often see other things as even more intimate - particularly anal sex or swallowing cum. I think maybe it is partly because some women simply refuse to do these things. To build on your blowjob example, it will often push a cuckold over the edge to hear about his wife swallowing another man's cum. A particularly devious way to do it is to talk about the taste of another man's cum as if it is no more significant than the taste of ice cream. It puts the hotwife in the position of presenting herself as extremely sexual in a way that many women are not and having indulged almost casually in things that others consider taboo.

 

[liqueur]

As for your blowjob idea, I think it is devious and mean, NancyPan. I love that!

I could so envision a partner kissing me deeply and then saying — casually, as per @policywank’s example, or in an excited whisper, in public — “Do you know how many cocks have been where your mouth just was?”

Or, while I was giving her head: “——where your mouth is now?”

 

[LeaHaven]

Yes, I can see how that was somewhat risky because of Travis's immaturity, his proximity to your personal lives and the fact that he started out fucking you in your own home with your husband's knowledge and presence (rather than working up to that). But it seems to have gone ok so far.

Travis is an interesting example as a lover in that he seems to be somewhat submissive to you. I personally am very dominant with my cuckold but generally neither dominant nor submissive with my lovers. I do enjoy a man who is more assertive and physical than my cuckold husband and I am comfortable if my lover and I adopt 'typical' or 'traditional' male and female roles, especially in the bedroom. It is easy enough to not be submissive. However, on occasion they slide into submissiveness, which I can't quite prevent and which can be problematic. If the guy is reasonably stable otherwise and is basically a dude with a big hard cock and lots of stamina who likes to do as he is told that I just fine. But if he becomes needy that can be more of a challenge.

A guy who is just sexually needy is easy enough to handle. I set the parameters and tell him to take it or leave it. Usually they take it. But if they leave it that just tells me it was for the best in the long run anyway. There are always more men. But if he becomes an emotionally needy submissive he will struggle more to accept limitations and can become more volatile. That requires more firm direction and sometimes putting distance between myself and that man because if he insists on being submissive that is harder to turn off, especially because I so enjoy being dominant. So, on the one hand having Travis as an obedient fuck buddy has its merits, but I get the feeling you may be concerned about his ability to maintain boundaries. Further to your earlier comments about caging both he and Robbie. It sounds like delicious fun but he might like it a bit too much, lol.

Policywank, when I think back and consider how I jumped headlong into the whole Travis thing, I'm like, "OMG! What were you thinking?" It was just pure luck that it didn't turn out to be a disaster, although breaking Travis' heart caused me just as much pain as it caused him. That was a disaster.

But Robbie says the whole situation didn't turn out so bad because it was Travis, not somebody else. He insists that I jumped headlong into Travis because I knew I could trust him. I'm not so sure about that. All I remember is desperately wanting some good intercourse (I said it differently to Robbie. I said, "All I remember is desperately wanting some good cock.").

Look at me. I'm still shy about talking out here like I talk to Robbie.

 

[LeaHaven]

There are a lot of good comments out here right now, but I don't know if I will get caught up responding today. Please bear with me. I will be in a meeting all day tomorrow, I am back Wednesday, and then I will be out of town Thursday through Sunday. If I don't get back in here today, I hope everyone has a nice weekend!

 

[policywank]

Policywank, when I think back and consider how I jumped headlong into the whole Travis thing, I'm like, "OMG! What were you thinking?" It was just pure luck that it didn't turn out to be a disaster, although breaking Travis' heart caused me just as much pain as it caused him. That was a disaster.

But Robbie says the whole situation didn't turn out so bad because it was Travis, not somebody else. He insists that I jumped headlong into Travis because I knew I could trust him. I'm not so sure about that. All I remember is desperately wanting some good intercourse (I said it differently to Robbie. I said, "All I remember is desperately wanting some good cock.").

Look at me. I'm still shy about talking out here like I talk to Robbie.

As you have said before there are risks to all of this. It is key to be aware of them but the excitement and stimulation of it all does frequently involve throwing caution to the wind. As with anything being too cautious takes the fun out of it. It helps a great deal that Robbie is so enthusiastic and willing to go with the flow. If he wasn't so enthusiastic he would probably see only downside in the risks. And if he wasn't so malleable he would likely be trying to control outcomes either to avoid risks or to serve his own desires. As it is he seems content to come along at your direction and revel in the experience. As a result he sees the rewards that come with the risks and he seems to be embracing them as much or maybe even more so than you are.

In the long run that will be important. There will be situations that don't work out and which will have some negative impact on him (even if only minor). That is life with any relationship model. But in a conventional monogamous relationship when things go wrong or someone gets their feelings hurt by a rumour or unkind word we generally don't blame it on monogamy the way people will with an unconventional lifestyle likes ours. By full embracing and immersing himself in this lifestyle Robbie is able to see all aspects of it and know why - just like in all aspects of life - you have to take the good with the bad. I know that in my own situation when we have had hiccups I have second guessed the path we are on and so has my husband. But it is usually him even more than me that has no interest in changing it.

For my cuckold I think that the risk aspect of it is often the most exciting. It may have been safer to take this slower with Travis or pick someone more distant from you. But my guess is that the way you just seized the opportunity and did so with someone that would be more taboo than a total stranger was part of the excitement for Robbie. Pushing the envelope involves risk but it is what makes it exciting for my husband and me. But I might argue it is especially so for him because that is the core of his experience. Even without the titillation of risk I still have the benefit of fucking a wide selection of men.

 

[whenagain]

So I should tell him that Erin knows?

Hmm....I can see a lot of opportunities being born out of that

Yes, tell him. And tell him her reaction. My gal has told at least one of her female friends about some of my specifics.

 

[LeaHaven]

It would definitely increase his humiliation if he knew there was another woman who knew of his shortcomings.

I only now noticed that last word in your sentence.

Something tells me it was not an accidental choice.

 

[NancyPan]

I have noticed that a lot of women tend to see PIV as the ultimate form of sex and the ultimate thing that she can give to the "other" man. But guys often see other things as even more intimate - particularly anal sex or swallowing cum. I think maybe it is partly because some women simply refuse to do these things. To build on your blowjob example, it will often push a cuckold over the edge to hear about his wife swallowing another man's cum. A particularly devious way to do it is to talk about the taste of another man's cum as if it is no more significant than the taste of ice cream. It puts the hotwife in the position of presenting herself as extremely sexual in a way that many women are not and having indulged almost casually in things that others consider

@policywank has an incredible understanding of the psyche of males like Robbie, me, and (I believe) her husband. We (males like us) are aroused by the reminder of the sexual superiority of our Wives. We know it is a privilege to be their partners, have our penises managed by them, and worship them.

 

[subdudeme13]

I only now noticed that last word in your sentence.

Something tells me it was not an accidental choice.

That is funny. Not that there is anything wrong with that!

 

[policywank]

@policywank has an incredible understanding of the psyche of males like Robbie, me, and (I believe) her husband. We (males like us) are aroused by the reminder of the sexual superiority of our Wives. We know it is a privilege to be their partners, have our penises managed by them, and worship them.

It can be very challenging for a man to accept his own sexual limitations. Words like "inadequacy" can feel hurtful, but are sometimes most accurate - how else to describe a man with a small penis, a pre-mature ejaculation problem who cannot bring a woman to orgasm? Of course there are other things that he can do in the bedroom and in the relationship to balance out or offset his sexual inadequacy, but that doesn't change the fact of it. No, a good oral game is not enough unless that is what the wife preferred to begin with.

In many marriages the wife is expected to make accommodation by telling him what he wants to hear while foregoing a satisfying sex life. If and when she chooses to cease doing so she either needs to cheat or compel her husband to accept the truth and open up her sex life. It is natural for the husband to feel outright rejected because men are conditioned to have so much of their sense of self worth tied up in their sexuality. The process of owning and controlling the man's penis is a powerful way to demonstrate that he has not been rejected and he still has a place in the wife's life and sexual experience. It is just that it will be based on truth.

 

[whenagain]

I only now noticed that last word in your sentence.

Something tells me it was not an accidental choice.

I knew what I was saying.

 

[P0peye]

It can be very challenging for a man to accept his own sexual limitations. Words like "inadequacy" can feel hurtful, but are sometimes most accurate - how else to describe a man with a small penis, a pre-mature ejaculation problem who cannot bring a woman to orgasm? Of course there are other things that he can do in the bedroom and in the relationship to balance out or offset his sexual inadequacy, but that doesn't change the fact of it. No, a good oral game is not enough unless that is what the wife preferred to begin with.

In many marriages the wife is expected to make accommodation by telling him what he wants to hear while foregoing a satisfying sex life. If and when she chooses to cease doing so she either needs to cheat or compel her husband to accept the truth and open up her sex life. It is natural for the husband to feel outright rejected because men are conditioned to have so much of their sense of self worth tied up in their sexuality. The process of owning and controlling the man's penis is a powerful way to demonstrate that he has not been rejected and he still has a place in the wife's life and sexual experience. It is just that it will be based on truth.

Early in life, I became painfully aware of my dimensional deficiency but once I elected to accept reality, I determined to make the most of my lot. Having been indoctrinated at an early age as my best friend's personal Cocksucker, I learned to prioritize my partner's orgasms over my own, predisposing me to become a better lover with women as well as with men. For the many women who require clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, my oral expertise is highly appreciated, often utilizing a dildo to supplement the desire for fullness.
I suspect policywank might not agree, but many women have told me that the orgasms that I provide for them orally are superior to those they have experienced vaginally and on a number of occasions women have had to beg me to stop because the continuous orgasms became too intense to sustain.
In the interest of honestly and openness, I have confided with my present wife and admitted to her of my oral obsession, occasionally shocking her with explicit details of outrageous episodes that I've engaged in as a Cocksucker. The results have been revelatory.
Our relationship is a continuously evolving work in progress.

 

[NancyPan]

It can be very challenging for a man to accept his own sexual limitations. Words like "inadequacy" can feel hurtful, but are sometimes most accurate - how else to describe a man with a small penis, a pre-mature ejaculation problem who cannot bring a woman to orgasm? Of course there are other things that he can do in the bedroom and in the relationship to balance out or offset his sexual inadequacy, but that doesn't change the fact of it. No, a good oral game is not enough unless that is what the wife preferred to begin with.

In many marriages the wife is expected to make accommodation by telling him what he wants to hear while foregoing a satisfying sex life. If and when she chooses to cease doing so she either needs to cheat or compel her husband to accept the truth and open up her sex life. It is natural for the husband to feel outright rejected because men are conditioned to have so much of their sense of self worth tied up in their sexuality. The process of owning and controlling the man's penis is a powerful way to demonstrate that he has not been rejected and he still has a place in the wife's life and sexual experience. It is just that it will be based on truth.

As you know so very well, there are many types of relationships just as there are many types of people. My wife and I have been together since we were both teenagers and neither of us have had any other sex partners (maybe seems unbelievable to you, but it is true). As a result, it was an evolution in our marriage for her to take charge, teach me how to properly worship her, and for her to point out my inadequacies (size and PE) which led to her decision to stop PIV sex in favor of oral and a dildo.

Yes, it has been a challenge for me to accept my sexual inadequacy, but doing so has increased my devotion to her and deepened our relationship in many ways. She has very powerful orgasms whenever she chooses. She allows me to release now about once a month, sometimes more. She’s never expressed an interest, even in fantasy, of having another man. Perhaps she imagines it, and doesn’t say anything, but I really don’t think so, particularly as she is masterful at erotic humiliation and frequently reminds me why I am no longer allowed to enter her.

Some women (and men) are truly monogamous.

 

[twister947]

So I should tell him that Erin knows?

Hmm....I can see a lot of opportunities being born out of that

I woke up thinking about this. On one hand, this is very hot. The humiliation is exquisite. But on the other hand, it raises questions about privileged information, loyalty, and consent. I'm not making an argument either way, just saying these questions require careful consideration.

 

[policywank]

Early in life, I became painfully aware of my dimensional deficiency but once I elected to accept reality, I determined to make the most of my lot. Having been indoctrinated at an early age as my best friend's personal Cocksucker, I learned to prioritize my partner's orgasms over my own, predisposing me to become a better lover with women as well as with men. For the many women who require clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, my oral expertise is highly appreciated, often utilizing a dildo to supplement the desire for fullness.
I suspect policywank might not agree, but many women have told me that the orgasms that I provide for them orally are superior to those they have experienced vaginally and on a number of occasions women have had to beg me to stop because the continuous orgasms became too intense to sustain.
In the interest of honestly and openness, I have confided with my present wife and admitted to her of my oral obsession, occasionally shocking her with explicit details of outrageous episodes that I've engaged in as a Cocksucker. The results have been revelatory.
Our relationship is a continuously evolving work in progress.

I think that most women really enjoy good oral sex. It is fairly common that we need that kind of clitoral stimulation for orgasm - it is well established that some of us cannot orgasm from penetration alone. And some prefer oral stimulation to penetrative stimulation.

However, they are different things and at least for me one is not a substitute for the other. Think of it like food. I like steak and I like sushi. One isn't better than the other. But there are times that I am in the mood for one or the other. And at that moment in time that one is preferred and I don't want my waiter to serve me the other and try to sell me on the premise that it is just as good.

Moreover if a man is nicely hung and cooperative I can teach him to give me good oral sex. A man who already gives good oral sex but has a little dick cannot be taught to have a bigger dick.

As you know so very well, there are many types of relationships just as there are many types of people. My wife and I have been together since we were both teenagers and neither of us have had any other sex partners (maybe seems unbelievable to you, but it is true). As a result, it was an evolution in our marriage for her to take charge, teach me how to properly worship her, and for her to point out my inadequacies (size and PE) which led to her decision to stop PIV sex in favor of oral and a dildo.

Yes, it has been a challenge for me to accept my sexual inadequacy, but doing so has increased my devotion to her and deepened our relationship in many ways. She has very powerful orgasms whenever she chooses. She allows me to release now about once a month, sometimes more. She’s never expressed an interest, even in fantasy, of having another man. Perhaps she imagines it, and doesn’t say anything, but I really don’t think so, particularly as she is masterful at erotic humiliation and frequently reminds me why I am no longer allowed to enter her.

Some women (and men) are truly monogamous.

How the wife deals with her husband's sexual inadequacy is quite independent of her being able to be honest about it. I did not mean to suggest that having sex with other men was the inevitable outcome (although my words did read that way). Many prefer to remain monogamous for any number of reasons. But whether that is the case or not, ideally she will not have to indulge the fantasy the penetrative sex with a man with a little dick and a premature ejaculation problem is satisfying. Ideally she is free to do as your wife has done - recognize reality and make appropriate accommodation.

To borrow from my analogy above imagine that you grill an excellent steak but suck at making sushi. I can go elsewhere for sushi or I can forego sushi. I just don't want to have to eat terrible sushi and pretend that it is good.

 

[Toro1886]

So I should tell him that Erin knows?

Hmm....I can see a lot of opportunities being born out of that

you could certainly hint and imply that she knows...

 

[Toro1886]

Erin already knows. Back when Robbie and I were having our marital problems, because of our sexual problems, I needed someone to talk to. I needed to know, "Is this normal? For this long?" I knew Erin could keep it to herself, and she always has. And by the way, she loves Robbie to death, and he idolizes her. I think it would be very erotically humiliating for him, especially if I time it just right.

As for your blowjob idea, I think it is devious and mean, NancyPan. I love that!

sinful!! ;-)

 

[P0peye]

Moreover if a man is nicely hung and cooperative I can teach him to give me good oral sex. A man who already gives good oral sex but has a little dick cannot be taught to have a bigger dick.
How the wife deals with her husband's sexual inadequacy is quite independent of her being able to be honest about it. Ideally she is free to do as your wife has done - recognize reality and make appropriate accommodation.
To borrow from my analogy above imagine that you grill an excellent steak but suck at making sushi. I can go elsewhere for sushi or I can forego sushi. I just don't want to have to eat terrible sushi and pretend that it is good.

As both Leah and my wife have done, deriving satisfaction by shaming and humiliating their deficient mates is a viable alternative when this also feeds into their husband's need for denigration and embarrassment. To my knowledge, my wife has not yet gone outside our marriage for sexual fulfillment but I wouldn't blame her if she did. As a practicing Cocksucker, I can relate to the craving for being penetrated and for feeling stuffed by an exceptionally large cock.

 

[policywank]

As both Leah and my wife have done, deriving satisfaction by shaming and humiliating their deficient mates is a viable alternative when this also feeds into their husband's need for denigration. To my knowledge, my wife has not yet gone outside our marriage for sexual fulfillment but I wouldn't blame her if she did. As a practicing Cocksucker, I can appreciate the desire for being penetrated by an exceptionally large cock.

Of course it is important that the husband also derives pleasure from being humiliated otherwise it is just cruel. My husband was sort of sub-consciously aware of his sexual inadequacy from a fairly young age and it led to some events which were unintentionally humiliating. But it was only after he was able to explicitly acknowledge his sexual inadequacy that he started to enjoy being humiliated. It seems to be as if the seed was planted early on and his ability to endure those early humiliations grew into a desire for it.

I would also say that his place in our relationship is dependent upon accepting himself as he is in the sense that I don't think I would be prepared to indulge his self-delusion. If he wanted me to, I would return to monogamy and not engage in any kind of FLR or humiliation. But if he needed me to pretend that he is a sexual dynamo I think that would be a major damper on our sex life and as a result on our relationship. It is sort of a fine line. We all want to be encouraging to our spouse, but at the point that doing so requires us to deny our own pleasure it becomes a problem. When I hear about people (especially men) bemoaning the lack of sex in their marriage I often wonder if perhaps some of this dynamic is at play - i.e it isn't that she doesn't want sex, just not that which is available to her.

From what you have described as your experience of regularly sucking off a much more well endowed friend I would imagine that would have planted the seeds for your embrace of humiliation now. Was there any humiliation involved in that? I would think that even if there weren't that getting on your knees to service a hung stud would be part of what frames how you regard yourself relative to how men are conditioned to see themselves and there might be some implied humiliation in that? Did any of that feed into your desire to embrace humiliation now?