50 ways to write about sex acts

[DeMont]

Good evening everyone,
I have searched pretty extensively here and I seem unable to come up with a "suggestions for writers on how to write sex differently each time".
There are, in many instances, some formulaic and even quite pedestrian ways to write about the act, or multiple acts, itself but surely if you were to use the same formula each time, in succeeding stories, then pretty soon you would become pigeon holed as the "author who always writes [whatever it may be]"

Since I am just cutting my teeth in this new genre I'd like to ask advice about the hurdles, traps and pitfalls before I get in over my ever lovin' head.

What, my dear colleagues, are your thoughts and/or sage words of wisdom on the subject?

Deepest respects, as ever,
D.

 

[AlinaX]

A far bigger problem is not boring yourself to tears. It's fine to be associated with a particular type of sex, but how to do you make it fresh and exciting each time?

 

[filthytrancendence]

At the base of this question is basically 'what keeps sex from becoming mundane?' I don't think that's just a writing question.

In any case, my approach is generally to use sex not as an end but as a means of characterization. Allow what makes each participant unique to color the act itself. And if it's a long-running character/couple/group, dig into their mood or something of that sort to differentiate the sex from previous encounters.

I'll also say that it's entirely possible for mundane sex to be a valid and important part of a story as well. Sometimes that's how it goes. The important thing is, what do you do with it? Where does the conflict or tension around the boredom go?

Sex is ultimately a unique form of communication, and it has as many facets and variations as there are words and ways to put them into sentences. In this way, it's important to read other's work too, because none of us can possibly experience the full range of human sexuality on our own or even within our own imaginations. Everyone is both unique and limited in perspective, so I think it behooves us as erotic writers to expand our perspectives in order to gain the capacity to give our characters a greater degree of variation in how they approach sexuality.

 

[Cagivagurl]

More important is the story itself. If it is dependant purely on the sexual content, then it becomes very difficult to generate a different arc or scope.
The story must carry the sex scene, otherwise it is just. "Lick here, flip and repeat."
The eroticism lies in the foretelling, the build up, the chase...
The act itself is small by comparison.

Just my opinion of course.

Cagivagurl

 

[TheRedChamber]

A story should have a point. An erotic story should have an erotic point (titter-ye-not).

Pantsers will disagree, but I'd say that before you've typed a single letter and probably even before you know who your characters are, you should have a clear idea of why your story is uniquely hot.

Sometimes that hotness isnt directly connected to the sex scene(s) - one of my first stories here was based around a mental image.of 'hot woman driving sports car in desert' When I came to write the sex though it clearly had to be outside and against the car. Not unheard of in Lit stories, but already slightly different.

You also need to make sure the specific thoughts, emotions and motivations of the characters come through. If she's cheating on her husband then a flash of guilt every three hundred words is probably needed, as as comparisons other than the obvious one for how this guy is different/better. If the guy is a virgin then go nuts with 'this is not what I expected'

 

[DeMont]

Bless your little cotton sox colleagues...
You've given me an idea...
Write a sex scene, or take one you've already written and try and rewrite it in a slightly different way, different wording, different build up...
Definitely an exercise worth looking at.

Deepest respects,
D.

 

[AlinaX]

Feels like a bad idea to me.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Some of the hottest things I've read have been "fade to black" stories or have condensed the sex to something like "and then we fucked". There are only so many ways to fuck but what gets the characters to that point, and perhaps the aftermath, has infinite scope for variety.

 

[Bamagan]

However fresh and new one tries to make the mechanical descriptions of a sex act, the likelihood is that there are a hundred other stories here that do it basically the same. Perhaps a thousand or even tens of thousands if it's something relatively simple like oral or missionary PIV. So there's little point worrying about repetitiveness: it's a feature of the genre. The inner worlds of the characters as they pump or grind or lick are where the most important distinctions are found, in my opinion. Write a compelling character or couple or whatever, and it probably won't matter if their sex isn't unique.

 

[THBGato]

It's the mental journey of the characters, rather than what they are physically doing, that is most engaging for me. I think that's why I love reading/writing 'first time with a woman' stories; the newness, the nervousness, the awe, the guilt, makes it so exciting.

Placing barriers can also make things different/exciting. Whether, it's characters not knowing what to do (On a wing and prayer) or not being able to touch their partner (Clara and the Solar System, Forty), something like that can force you (as a writer) to have to write the sex in a different way.

 

[Erozetta]

Sex is more than physical bodies banging against each other. The lead up can be hotter than the act itself and the lead up is how you differentiate the process of the final act. Your characters' emotions and desires will drive their actions, let it be awkward, let it be messy, let it be pristine and skilled. Play with your options from start to finish, not just the positioning of the dolls.

Foreplay exists in written form as well, and it's just as effective as the main act.

 

[AlinaX]

Okay, but now I'm thinking about dolls.

 

[Erozetta]

Okay, but now I'm thinking about dolls.

Dollification is a thing. And a fun thing. I will eventually write a story about it as a way to showcase some of the dresses I've sewn, lol. (Well, showcasing them in writing, at least.)

 

[SimonDoom]

More important is the story itself. If it is dependant purely on the sexual content, then it becomes very difficult to generate a different arc or scope.
The story must carry the sex scene, otherwise it is just. "Lick here, flip and repeat."


Cagivagurl

I think Cagivagurl has hit the nail on the head.

Don't worry too much about having to describe the sex act itself differently every time. I have no idea how you would do that without straining to use silly synonyms after a while.

Instead, concentrate on the differences in the story. While the sex is happening, narrate the story. Focus on the unique way your characters respond to the sex. Their senses. Their thoughts. The role that the sex act plays in the development of the story. The sex will follow that.

 

[ElectricBlue]

A story should have a point. An erotic story should have an erotic point (titter-ye-not).

Pantsers will disagree, but I'd say that before you've typed a single letter and probably even before you know who your characters are, you should have a clear idea of why your story is uniquely hot.

Pantser here, through and through. In my latest story, all I knew was that one of my existing characters was going to meet another existing character, and go from there. That was the extent of any preconceived notion. A third character appeared in the first 500 words or so, and the story went into a threesome. 15k later, my story finished...

An extremely well written story, with a lot of great sex, and quite some romantic!! Five Stars readily given, six Stars would have been fair as well !!

Not bad, for no clear idea .

 

[HordHolm]

I'm going to swim against the tide a little here...

I would argue that there are two (very, very general) types of reader. One type wants a well-rounded story with an interesting plot, with believable characters, and if it happens to contain hot sex too, all well and good. The second type wants to get off on something and happens to sometimes prefer words to pictures. Sometimes these readers are the same people in a different mood.

Understandably here at the hangout, being by and large writers, there is a definite focus on type one. I would argue there are two reasons for this. Firstly, it's more interesting for us to find different angles (literally and metaphorically) to hang the sex on, and doing this fends off boredom, burnout, and a jaded sense of everything becoming grey over time rather than vivid technicolor. And secondly, it might make some of us feel more like proper authors to include 'literary' things and not focus too much on mechanical descriptions of the sex. I am aware that this characterisation might not sit too well with everyone, and I will stress now that I don't think this means everyone who hangs out here is like this. But some of us surely are.

But, as we know very well, the AH contains a tiny fraction of Lit authors on a regular basis, and as for the readership... the proportion here is vanishingly small. So, perhaps the wider readership contains a large number of type two readers, those who read one-handed and aren't too fussed. There is, I would argue, a danger of this community getting a little too focussed on type one, whilst the majority of readers out there are type two. Now, I'm not postulating that most Lit readers are simply dirty wankers (or at least, not all the time), but a big chunk of them surely must be. And in that case, does it matter that the descriptions of sex are somewhat repetitive?

To us as authors it probably does, as we can get bored writing it. To some readers it surely does as well. But to many readers... well, they want a mental picture of someone taking their secretary bent over a desk, or being pushed up against the locker in the gym by the hot dude, or being a first time cottager, and our tortured search for meaning and character is just an irrelevance to them. My overall point being, there's probably a balance.

TL: DR - are we in danger of getting a bit precious, here?

 

[TheLobster]

Basically what @SimonDoom said. Don’t write about sex; write about your characters having sex in the circumstances you’ve created.

Vary the characters and/or vary those circumstances, and you got yourself a virtually infinite universe of different and exciting possibilities.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

The truth is, most of the people here are basing their response on their own preference as a reader.
In that sense, I completely agree with Cagiva. The only way to give some depth, meaning, and even eroticism, beyond the friction and plugging of the holes, is to create tension and buildup between characters. Adding conflict, desire, longing, love... it all raises the stakes for the act itself.
But... with a juicy vocabulary, decent sex-talk, and proper pacing of the sexual act, you can create something even without any buildup or characterization. To the best of my knowledge, such stories do well here.

It would be interesting to see the comparison of the success of such stories vs the ones we seem to prefer. I don't think our kind of stories would come out on top in such a competition. Sure, we can say that our stories have depth, quality, and meaning beyond the sexual act, and that would probably be the truth, but in terms of success, the simplest of stories do just as well on Literotica, maybe even better.

So, should we look at this question from the standpoint of success or the quality of erotica? Furthermore, if we could choose, would we rather be popular among the masses or revered among the elite?

 

[iwatchus]

I would add to not be afraid to not describe the sex in any detail sometimes. Compared to almost anything I have written since then, my first series had a lot of sex. And a lot of graphic sex scenes. But it also had sex scenes like "We ended the evening with a quickie because neither of us had the energy for anything more. But it was what I needed to get to sleep." (Not a real quote from anything)

Don't force every sex act to be special.

 

[FrancesScott]

suggestions for writers on how to write sex differently each time

You can’t really. Thats like saying different ways to describe opening a door. There are many different acts and different actors, or troupes, but the mechanics are pretty much the same. I don’t know how many times I have written FMC #1 going down on FMC #2, but it’s an awful lot.

What keeps it fresh is the characters and their emotions and what led up to this moment. That’s where you beat mundanity.

 

[MiaBabe23]

Perhaps obvious, but I think individualistic writing comes from writing sex scenes that you enjoy writing, rather than something aimed at a particular audience etc; letting yourself be genuinely turned on by it
Much as if you make yourself laugh or cry with what you write, chances are it will do the same for someone else - and the same applies to sex scenes
So when you then go back to it to work on the phrasing etc - and to tone it down enough for public consumption! - you’ll have something full of life and feeling
From there, other than avoiding cliches, I think the key is finding your own voice

 

[MelissaBaby]

Just slip in the back, Jack,
Come in her hand, Stan,
Try with a toy, Roy.
Just listen to me.
Give her a thrust, Gus,
Don't need to discuss much,
Get up off your knee, Lee
Then go take a pee.

 

[ElectricBlue]

What keeps it fresh is the characters and their emotions and what led up to this moment. That’s where you beat mundanity.

Or in my case, if they're not quite ready to jump into the cot yet, there's another café scene or a long ride in a big blue car. Never fails to create some intimate, emotional necessity.

 

[ronde]

Good evening everyone,
I have searched pretty extensively here and I seem unable to come up with a "suggestions for writers on how to write sex differently each time".
There are, in many instances, some formulaic and even quite pedestrian ways to write about the act, or multiple acts, itself but surely if you were to use the same formula each time, in succeeding stories, then pretty soon you would become pigeon holed as the "author who always writes [whatever it may be]"

Since I am just cutting my teeth in this new genre I'd like to ask advice about the hurdles, traps and pitfalls before I get in over my ever lovin' head.

What, my dear colleagues, are your thoughts and/or sage words of wisdom on the subject?

Deepest respects, as ever,
D.

The problem with writing sex scenes differently in different stories is that sex is pretty much the same for everybody, every time. You can vary positions, vary partners, and vary the number of partners. Those partners can be of the opposite sex or of the same sex. What it all boils down to is that sex hasn't changed for eons. It's one body part going into another body part a whole bunch of times until the orgasm happens.

The only thing that does change is how a reader has experienced sex, how the reader imagines sex should be, and how the reader wants sex to be when given a choice. That's why it's important to set the table before serving the meal. If you write in general terms about the lead-up to sex including the thoughts of the partners, you'll be building the image in the reader's mind. When you get to the actual sex, you won't have to go into infinite, squishy, and probably unbelievable details about what's going where, how deep and how fast, and then try to describe an orgasm. The reader will be doing that for you while you continue to write about the feelings of the characters with a few general details so the reader can follow the action.

Describing an orgasm is best done by the character's words and thoughts as well. It's enough to say, "she came hard." The reader will add that to what he or she has been imagining and that will complete the picture.

It's more important to sketch, not paint, to show, not tell, and to hint rather than explain. The reader will enjoy the story more if they do the painting, telling, and explaining in their own mind, because it'll be different for each reader, sort of like the story was written especially for him or her.

 

[yowser]

At the risk of getting a little too sciencey, I think if you spend more time elaborating the potential energy of sex (tension) the kinetic parts (action) fall into place more easily.

OP, there was an earlier round of this topic at https://forum.literotica.com/threads/avoiding-repetition-when-describing-sex.1572158/ which might give some further ideas. I think I remember speaking to the issue as similar to organic chemistry, simple atoms, near infinite possibilities.