Do 18-24 year olds have sex any more

[1darknightowl]

Time to start writing stories that end with, "Want to know what happens next? Go meet somebody cute and respectfully ask them out on a date!"

I thought the modern dating app operated on the basis "swipe if you like what you see?". There is probably no asking out for a date.

 

[FrancesScott]

Go meet somebody cute and respectfully ask them out on a date!"

Dating is not a minefield for men. It’s a minefield for the type of asshole who some poor woman used to marry as she couldn’t support herself financially and had no better options. Being single and paying you own way is a better option for a young woman than settling for an asshole.

Men, the secret to successful dating is not muscles, or money, or looks. It starts with not being an asshole. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to use you for some ulterior motive.

Some women might have bad boy fantasies (not me so much), but most appreciate genuinely nice guys.

 

[FrancesScott]

I thought the modern dating app operated on the basis "swipe if you like what you see?". There is probably no asking out for a date.

Dating apps suck. They really suck. It’s better to try to meet people. Maybe that’s harder than it used to be, I wouldn’t know, but it’s more likely to lead to success.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Dating is not a minefield for men. It’s a minefield for the type of asshole who some poor woman used to marry as she couldn’t support herself financially and had no better options. Being single and paying you own way is a better option for a young woman than settling for an asshole.

Men, the secret to successful dating is not muscles, or money, or looks. It starts with not being an asshole. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to use you for some ulterior motive.

Some women might have bad boy fantasies (not me so much), but most appreciate genuinely nice guys.

One of my characters has a rant on the subject:
"There's men who women want to fuck just because of what they look like. That's Keanu Reeves, and about three others on the planet. Then there's the nice-looking few who just have to not be dicks: they maybe make up a quarter of your options. And then there's all the ones who have to win you over on personality, but then they start to look more attractive. That's most blokes!" She'd rolled her eyes, unexpectedly fierce, before continuing, "The amount of men too ugly to ever score? About zero. It's always their attitudes and them being fucking twats."

I suppose it's slightly more difficult for men now because they need to be more appealing than a vibrator. I admit I slept with a few guys in college because I couldn't afford a vibrator and they seemed very happy to do the same thing. Nice enough lads; no regrets. And many men my age got over their fear of sex from losing their virginity to a sex worker, or having a lesson from one soon after. Now most young men wouldn't consider that an option.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Of course, a drop in the birth rate may be because of better access to birth control.

I know a lot of 18-24, but they are not likely to discuss their sex lives with a professor, even their cool professor, which I am often seen as. But I do hear many young people (< 35 or so) saying they do not want to bring children into this world. I did not see that kind of attitude fifteen years ago. It is mostly arisen in the last decade.

Journalists never seem to learn that when they try to get info from young people, they get fed deliberate misinformation.

The classic example: When the New York Times Got Duped Into Publishing The Lexicon of Grunge

 

[BellaBestia]

The erroneous assumption of that article and even some responses in this thread is that heterosexual sex is the only sexual activity being addressed. The young people are experimenting with all kinds of different sexual expressions, and even non- normative ones or no sex at all as sexual identity. As for regular p in v that could result in pregnancy why would they bother? So many looming problems overshadow. Especially in America with the reversal of roe vs wade and the growing restrictions on sexual health education and birth control. And maybe they have more pressing social, economic and political issues to think about than get it on in back seat of dad’s station wagon on a Friday night.

 

[Britva415]

And there is designated place for that shit here, right?

I think "getting consent right" is appropriate everywhere

 

[MelissaBaby]

Some women might have bad boy fantasies (not me so much), but most appreciate genuinely nice guys.

I used to really be into bad boys.

Getting sent to prison got me over that.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Some women might have bad boy fantasies (not me so much), but most appreciate genuinely nice guys.

Not true at all until a woman reaches a certain age, which is like 35-40. Girls and younger women still mostly prefer bad boys. It's only when they start thinking about settling that they start noticing nice guys.
To be fair, men are just as bad, but in a different way.

Being nice never really paid off much, and I suspect it never will. Such is the world we live in.

 

[PennyThompson]

Not true at all until a woman reaches a certain age, which is like 35-40. Girls and younger women still mostly prefer bad boys. It's only when they start thinking about settling that they start noticing nice guys.
To be fair, men are just as bad, but in a different way.

Being nice never really paid off much, and I suspect it never will. Such is the world we live in.

Yikes, that's some red-pill Andrew Tate pickup artist nonsense right there, and you say it with such excessive confidence

 

[TheRedChamber]

Men, the secret to successful dating is not muscles, or money, or looks. It starts with not being an asshole. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to use you for some ulterior motive.

"The amount of men too ugly to ever score? About zero. It's always their attitudes and them being fucking twats."

Women love to say this. Without the existence of a geiger-counter for arseholishness it's difficult to prove - and it would be nice if those metrics could also be seperated out into their separate factors of loutishness, creepiness, cluelessness, entitlement and general misogyny. And it's hard to be against people of either gender being nicer for whatever reason. There's also the Kafka-trap that any guy who claims that he isn't an arsehole is just an oblivious arsehole. And, yes, in my 18-24 that geiger-counter needle went up and down to various degrees at different times.

On the other hand, men see how other men behave and I'm thinking especially of at least one rugger-bugger from my university days who would a) stand on the pub table and expose himself after every match b) spend all day sitting in the common room waiting for 'that' Britany Spears video to come on so he could detail in depth exactly what he would do to her and c) bullied a male friend of mine that he'd been at public school with to the point of near-suicide.

He got laid regularly. I didn't. Simple.

Ladies, if your arsehole detector is functioning well, good for you. But the idea that 18-24 women are always making good choices about partners - from one-night-stands to matrimonial material...well, I just dunno.

 

[AG31]

But since then its a very different story, and not in a good way.

Could you be more specific? The tenor of this thread suggests that you're right, but I'm so, so far away from that generation. I'd like to know more.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Yikes, that's some red-pill Andrew Tate pickup artist nonsense right there, and you say it with such excessive confidence

Will you please stop turning everything into some political bullshit? I am expressing my opinion that has everything to do with my life experience and nothing to do with politics. Until they reach a certain age, both men and women usually pick unwisely, based on their impulses. Usually doesn't mean every time, though.

Wisdom requires age, which is a lesson you'll learn once you get there.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

I thought the modern dating app operated on the basis "swipe if you like what you see?". There is probably no asking out for a date.

Dating apps can be quite predatory and just as bad as social media in general. I've heard that the majority of actual women in there (not catfishes) are there to boost their egos seeing how many likes and matches they get, with some actually being in a relationship. Whether that's true or not matters not, but the fact that it's been talked about shows you how the online landscape works.

The Internet might seem like a great way of connecting with other people. To an extent it is, however, the medium is the message, and the Internet medium, nowdays is all about... superficial and materialistic things, algorithms that curate your taste with slop and put otherwise nice people into extreme arguments so that they don't realize what the true issues are, and it's just... a bunch of things that are built to hijack your dopamine... The Internet is nothing but a huge room filled with slot machines, and dating apps are part of it.

 

[FrancesScott]

Not true at all until a woman reaches a certain age, which is like 35-40. Girls and younger women still mostly prefer bad boys.

Citation needed. Otherwise uninformed BS about a gender you don’t seem to understand. Or maybe it’s generational brainwashing.

 

[FrancesScott]

Will you please stop turning everything into some political bullshit?

He who lives by the sword… maybe avoid making sweeping and erroneous generalizations about women and what they want. Particularly if you aren’t one and appear to have very a very narroow, and probably out of date, perspective on them.

Don’t bitch when you have waded in with an unfounded opinion about something.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Not true at all until a woman reaches a certain age, which is like 35-40. Girls and younger women still mostly prefer bad boys. It's only when they start thinking about settling that they start noticing nice guys.
To be fair, men are just as bad, but in a different way.

Being nice never really paid off much, and I suspect it never will. Such is the world we live in.

I think a lot of women love the bad boy fantasy, and sometimes project it onto normal men, but real bad boys? Not so much.

Been there. Done that. Nice guys are better.

 

[PennyThompson]

Will you please stop turning everything into some political bullshit?

I don't believe that the opinion "Many girls like guys who are curious and kind," is political, and I think it's really weird that you do

 

[FrancesScott]

There seems a to be lot of people with massive chips on their shoulders on this thread.

 

[iwatchus]

Not true at all until a woman reaches a certain age, which is like 35-40. Girls and younger women still mostly prefer bad boys.

I am from a very different generation, but...

I had exactly one (female) friend in high school I would have said preferred bad boys. No one I knew in college I would categorize that way.

On the other hand, men see how other men behave and I'm thinking especially of at least one rugger-bugger from my university days who would a) stand on the pub table and expose himself after every match b) spend all day sitting in the common room waiting for 'that' Britany Spears video to come on so he could detail in depth exactly what he would do to her and c) bullied a male friend of mine that he'd been at public school with to the point of near-suicide.

He got laid regularly. I didn't. Simple.

In my experience, again from generations earlier, is that the guys you called rugger buggers got more one night stands but far fewer repeat performances. And my guess was that they got less total sex. They were just more flamboyant about what they got. Most of the nice guys I knew did quite well.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I think a lot of women love the bad boy fantasy, and sometimes project it onto normal men

Absolutely. Statistically, there aren't enough "real" bad boys. But as you say, many tend to search for that bad boy vibe. It's a spectrum, of course, but "bad boy" part of the spectrum does much better with girls than the "nice guy" part. That was my whole point.

 

[FrancesScott]

Women love to say this. Without the existence of a geiger-counter for arseholishness it's difficult to prove - and it would be nice if those metrics could also be seperated out into their separate factors of loutishness, creepiness, cluelessness, entitlement and general misogyny. And it's hard to be against people of either gender being nicer for whatever reason. There's also the Kafka-trap that any guy who claims that he isn't an arsehole is just an oblivious arsehole. And, yes, in my 18-24 that geiger-counter needle went up and down to various degrees at different times.

On the other hand, men see how other men behave and I'm thinking especially of at least one rugger-bugger from my university days who would a) stand on the pub table and expose himself after every match b) spend all day sitting in the common room waiting for 'that' Britany Spears video to come on so he could detail in depth exactly what he would do to her and c) bullied a male friend of mine that he'd been at public school with to the point of near-suicide.

He got laid regularly. I didn't. Simple.

Ladies, if your arsehole detecter is functioning well, good for you. But the idea that 18-24 women are always making good choices about partners - from one-night-stands to matrimonial material...well, I just dunno.

So, your argument is: I didn’t get laid, so women don’t like nice guys. Thing is, people who make that type of connection aren’t necessarily the nicest of guys. Maybe your later in life position fell into a wormhole and whispered into the ears of the women of your otherwise blameless youth.

 

[iwatchus]

Absolutely. Statistically, there aren't enough "real" bad boys. But as you say, many tend to search for that bad boy vibe. It's a spectrum, of course, but "bad boy" part of the spectrum does much better with girls than the "nice guy" part. That was my whole point.

But do you have any evidence of this point other than you struck out more than you wanted? My own anecdotal evidence supports the exact opposite.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Absolutely. Statistically, there aren't enough "real" bad boys. But as you say, many tend to search for that bad boy vibe. It's a spectrum, of course, but "bad boy" part of the spectrum does much better with girls than the "nice guy" part. That was my whole point.

My point was that while a lot of women want, as you say, "the vibe," very few want the real thing.

The corollary may be that men love the idea of "sluts", but don't actually want to date promiscuous women.

 

[PennyThompson]

But do you have any evidence of this point other than you struck out more than you wanted? My own anecdotal evidence supports the exact opposite.

He struck out until he became more interesting and more mature, and then suddenly, inexplicably, the women who just happened to be in his age range liked him