✨Highlights and Bombshells💥

[Endless_Night]

I want to die with my boots on. Not wasting away in a home not knowing who I am. I make mistakes. Lots of them. And yet I live with a will for adventure. I always want more. FAFO? Fuck yea.

Loved the whole post, but this part especially. I live in cycles (as mentioned.) High drive versus more sedentary times of introspection and contemplation.

While certainly not as adventurous (reckless? ) as you, I've done things like spend a month traveling the Amazon river on a barge boat. Physical challenges like the MS150. Traveled parts of Europe with only English and a Eurorail pass.

That last one may not sound like much, but it has it's moments. Like when you find yourself trapped for six hours in the middle of the night in the Prague train station, alone, with nothing but a backpack a smile. I waited six hours in the train station for someone to come on shift I could understand.

I have this horror of going out on one of the more sedentary cycles.

Let's all keep trying new things and pushing limits.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Meaning we don’t explore enough? We aren’t curious enough? Or go out of our own comfort zones enough?

Yes is probably the easiest answer to these. Finding things out is a huge part of the fun we experience in life. Best way to find out is to fuck around a little bit.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Yes is probably the easiest answer to these. Finding things out is a huge part of the fun we experience in life. Best way to find out is to fuck around a little bit.

I’d be curious to see the stats on who finds throwing care to the wind, and FAFO a way to have fun and experience life vs whether that causes stress and actually detracts from it.

I think I fall somewhere in the middle.

For example, I enjoy going on drives in the countryside and seeing where we end up— a winery, an antique shop, maybe a trail we haven’t walked before. Others hate that. They like to know where we are going, and want to have a plan. Jumping in the car and just going somewhere randomly isn’t fun at all.

I agree that I don’t know what I don’t know, so I need to just get out there and experience things. Those experiences will lead me to other things I haven’t even imagined before, and if I don’t live that way, I’m limiting myself. But I also think that this way of living would hinder other people. Organizing plans, mapping out logical steps; those can be liberating.

Anyway, I’d be curious what the breakdown of planners and FAFOers there are.

 

[Mrtenant]

Loved the whole post, but this part especially. I live in cycles (as mentioned.) High drive versus more sedentary times of introspection and contemplation.

While certainly not as adventurous (reckless? ) as you, I've done things like spend a month traveling the Amazon river on a barge boat. Physical challenges like the MS150. Traveled parts of Europe with only English and a Eurorail pass.

That last one may not sound like much, but it has it's moments. Like when you find yourself trapped for six hours in the middle of the night in the Prague train station, alone, with nothing but a backpack a smile. I waited six hours in the train station for someone to come on shift I could understand.

I have this horror of going out on one of the more sedentary cycles.

Let's all keep trying new things and pushing limits.

That's the spirit!

 

[hotwords229_A]

Anyway, I’d be curious what the breakdown of planners and FAFOers there are.

I like to have a plan and then not follow it.

 

[Mrtenant]

I’d be curious to see the stats on who finds throwing care to the wind, and FAFO a way to have fun and experience life vs whether that causes stress and actually detracts from it.

I think I fall somewhere in the middle.

For example, I enjoy going on drives in the countryside and seeing where we end up— a winery, an antique shop, maybe a trail we haven’t walked before. Others hate that. They like to know where we are going, and want to have a plan. Jumping in the car and just going somewhere randomly isn’t fun at all.

I agree that I don’t know what I don’t know, so I need to just get out there and experience things. Those experiences will lead me to other things I haven’t even imagined before, and if I don’t live that way, I’m limiting myself. But I also think that this way of living would hinder other people. Organizing plans, mapping out logical steps; those can be liberating.

Anyway, I’d be curious what the breakdown of planners and FAFOers there are.

To be fair. Not all my FAFO moments were as unplanned as they might seem, though many were. I don't plan the way my spouse would. When doing management jobs, I learned to delegate rather than micromanage. I despise micromanaging. I see possibilities and I'm intrigued.

When I do plan things, to everyone's frustration, I leave out some minor details that sometimes leave me scrambling for a solution. It's not really as bad as it sounds. Things have a way of working out.

Also, part of my recklessness is trusting the sturdiness of my body and sharpness of mind. Its part of the plan- unplanned so to speak. Like, "I don't know how this will turn out, but, I can take some damage from it and still be okay" is not so unusual for me. To this day, I have never broken a bone. I've doinked a few bones where it hurt, but no breaks and I have dozens of scars. There are times when a solution to a problem I created for myself took a very long time to solve. Those kind of FAFO moments, I rarely if ever repeat.

This is not to say, I run around every hour of every day doing crazy shit. I don't. I just don't shy away from it. Don't ever tell me I can't do something when I'm wondering if I can or not. That is most certainly a "hold my beer" moment.

Which is more of an answer than you asked for. I both plan and not plan. Honestly, I wish I was better at planning some things. I am pretty good at others. My occupation is a retirement planner/investment advisor. I write up plans for people, including myself that can span 40 or 50 years or more.

Weird huh?

 

[Mei5ter]

Like when you find yourself trapped for six hours in the middle of the night in the Prague train station, alone, with nothing but a backpack a smile.

That's...quite the mental image. In fairness, I'm told that being handcuffed naked to lamp-posts in Prague is a traditional bachelor/ette night experience, so I'm sure the station staff had seen it all before.

 

[Mei5ter]

FAFO​

So, there I was, sitting on the beach yesterday, watching this kid running around throwing sand at his sister, talking back to his grandma, generally being a pill. I remember those days with young kids on the beach. It's such a romanticized idea; you think it's going to be like you see on tv with everyone happy and clean and playing nicely, but in reality they're tired and hungry and hot. I don't miss that part.

This boy's mom repeatedly corrected him. She was working hard. He started going in the rough waves despite her warnings and sure enough he got walloped. He fucked around and found out (FAFO). He was fine but he got his bell rung. (Side note: is this a saying anywhere other than the US? Getting your bell rung is when you get knocked down or hit really hard and it takes a while for you to catch your breath. Not fun.)

This topic of FAFO came up in a conversation with @Mei5ter this morning when we were discussing things that you do not mess with. Are there things that you just do not fuck with? There are things that I joke around about but there are other things that, it might seem silly or for whatever reason, I just can't be flippant about. Maybe it is a superstition or a story you heard when you were little. Maybe it is a person that you don't cross. When you think of FAFO, what comes to mind?

I've always felt that FAFO refers to something which you already know is not a good idea. It's telling an armed cop in the US that they have the IQ of a donut without the sprinkles, and that they can put the silly gun down. It's being fully aware that there is an excellent reason why no children's author wrote a book called Mr Fork And Mrs Power Outlet Are Special Friends, but nevertheless discovering that electricity does indeed work as expected.

I'm not sure that's the same thing as risk-taking, stretching yourself, pushing and exploring boundaries, moving outside your comfort zone, and some of the other things people have mentioned. Those are all about personal growth and living life to the full. FAFO, for me, describes behaviour which ends up in a Darwin Award. It's asking "Why is this a bad idea?" when you already have plenty of excellent answers to that question.

I like learning from others' experiences and mistakes, rather than my own. Apart from anything else, it saves time and hurts less.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I've always felt that FAFO refers to something which you already know is not a good idea. It's telling an armed cop in the US that they have the IQ of a donut without the sprinkles, and that they can put the silly gun down. It's being fully aware that there is an excellent reason why no children's author wrote a book called Mr Fork And Mrs Power Outlet Are Special Friends, but nevertheless discovering that electricity does indeed work as expected.

I'm not sure that's the same thing as risk-taking, stretching yourself, pushing and exploring boundaries, moving outside your comfort zone, and some of the other things people have mentioned. Those are all about personal growth and living life to the full. FAFO, for me, describes behaviour which ends up in a Darwin Award. It's asking "Why is this a bad idea?" when you already have plenty of excellent answers to that question.

I like learning from others' experiences and mistakes, rather than my own. Apart from anything else, it saves time and hurts less.

Mmm donuts. ..

This was more the direction I was heading with regard to the kids on the beach who were given clear directions to not play in the rough surf, and when they did so anyway, they got hurt. They fucked around and found out.

If they were usually at home watching a movie, but today they went outside and discovered this unknown shortcut to the beach, and now they have this awesome new experience— that sounds more like benefitting from stepping out of one’s comfort zone.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I like to have a plan and then not follow it.

This is what I do at the grocery store. I make this very detailed list and then I never follow it.

 

[QuietCanadian]

Anyway, I’d be curious what the breakdown of planners and FAFOers there are.

I think it will be very much tipped one direction because that's the trend of the last few years since this really became a meme.

Which is somewhat the point, it's not just about personal growth, we're making fucking around and finding out a bad thing, something that only fits when someone does something dumb and bad things happen. Like someone wanting to climb Everest. You can do that multiple ways, but we're only going to attach this FAFO to someone who turns up with some hiking shoes and a winter coat and starts the ascent, but the person who does the research, gets fit enough to climb, books a tour, meticulously plans the trip, etc. is also fucking around and finding out.

Take running a marathon or some other structured event like that for example. That is a planned route with a bunch of aid stations and medics and everything else you could want (except maybe an Uber). You've likely planned your last 16-22 weeks around it, could even be a whole trip planned around it. We're going to attach FAFO to the guy who turns up without training, but even the best athlete in the world who spent their entire lives training spent a lot of time fucking around with their plan/training and on race day they are gonna find out if it worked.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I think it will be very much tipped one direction because that's the trend of the last few years since this really became a meme.

Which is somewhat the point, it's not just about personal growth, we're making fucking around and finding out a bad thing, something that only fits when someone does something dumb and bad things happen. Like someone wanting to climb Everest. You can do that multiple ways, but we're only going to attach this FAFO to someone who turns up with some hiking shoes and a winter coat and starts the ascent, but the person who does the research, gets fit enough to climb, books a tour, meticulously plans the trip, etc. is also fucking around and finding out.

Take running a marathon or some other structured event like that for example. That is a planned route with a bunch of aid stations and medics and everything else you could want (except maybe an Uber). You've likely planned your last 16-22 weeks around it, could even be a whole trip planned around it. We're going to attach FAFO to the guy who turns up without training, but even the best athlete in the world who spent their entire lives training spent a lot of time fucking around with their plan/training and on race day they are gonna find out if it worked.

Got it. I’m using the term differently than you are. I’m using it in the more “memeish” sense. I hadn’t heard FAFO before it was considered a learning a lesson the hard way.

 

[Endless_Night]

That's...quite the mental image.

Oh! It is witting the realm of possibility that I worried that . . . poorly.

In fairness, I'm told that being handcuffed naked to lamp-posts in Prague is a traditional bachelor/ette night experience, so I'm sure the station staff had seen it all before.

*is aghast*

 

[Mrtenant]

I think it will be very much tipped one direction because that's the trend of the last few years since this really became a meme.

Which is somewhat the point, it's not just about personal growth, we're making fucking around and finding out a bad thing, something that only fits when someone does something dumb and bad things happen. Like someone wanting to climb Everest. You can do that multiple ways, but we're only going to attach this FAFO to someone who turns up with some hiking shoes and a winter coat and starts the ascent, but the person who does the research, gets fit enough to climb, books a tour, meticulously plans the trip, etc. is also fucking around and finding out.

Take running a marathon or some other structured event like that for example. That is a planned route with a bunch of aid stations and medics and everything else you could want (except maybe an Uber). You've likely planned your last 16-22 weeks around it, could even be a whole trip planned around it. We're going to attach FAFO to the guy who turns up without training, but even the best athlete in the world who spent their entire lives training spent a lot of time fucking around with their plan/training and on race day they are gonna find out if it worked.

Reminds me of a pickup basketball game I got into. Still thought I was pretty fit and had plenty of stamina and was going full press. I found myself out of gas within 15 minutes. I did pace myself after that. It was shocking to me. Like wtf body? Used to do this shit all day long.

 

[LordofDargaardkeep]

FAFO... yep I live that life..
I am heathen.. I am a surly asshole most days.. I reject authority at every opportunity.. I want to do outlaw stupid shit.. I want to cuss, yell, fight, argue, be confrontational.. Does it look stupid and irresponsible? Fuck yeah... sign me up! Here hold my beer... I even come with my own soundtrack..

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Recharging
​

I can tell when I need a change of routine. I get so out of sorts. I overanalyze every little comment and signal. That’s when I need to take time to figure out what is up with myself and get my head on straight.

The other day, I was thinking about what things make me feel good and what things really are not the healthiest choices for me, and I’m trying to adhere to that more. Then I found this picture on Tumblr, of all places - it does have things other than anime’ and smut!- and I thought it was a pretty comprehensive list.

I think I might add something mindless like crossword puzzles or games or coloring or something like that on the Energy givers side.

Are there things that jump out to you, either on the Energy Takers or Energy Givers side? Is there a category in the middle where something could go either way? I was thinking that a challenge- something that you are passionate about and you work your butt off to complete, might be both a Giver and a Taker. Maybe like starting a business or something.

We all need to recharge sometimes and that’s what I’m going to do for a bit. I think sometimes social media can fall into the “both” category and Lit is like that for me.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Clutter is a huge energy taker for me. If I walk into a room and it's "chaos" - I start to feel unwound.

Currently, I'm decluttering as we change furniture, etc...and things are piled in my dining area. I am intentionally avoiding that area until I have the time I need to get through some of it on my own.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I was thinking that a challenge- something that you are passionate about and you work your butt off to complete, might be both a Giver and a Taker. Maybe like starting a business or something.

I have some of these. Things that take a lot and feel exhausting, but then there is a big payoff, whether professionally or personally.

I do believe you get what you give (at least, in my case it’s been true), but there is a fine line of balance where you give and get the right amount—it doesn’t always balance in the present, but pays off later, hopefully!

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Recharging
​

I can tell when I need a change of routine. I get so out of sorts. I overanalyze every little comment and signal. That’s when I need to take time to figure out what is up with myself and get my head on straight.

The other day, I was thinking about what things make me feel good and what things really are not the healthiest choices for me, and I’m trying to adhere to that more. Then I found this picture on Tumblr, of all places - it does have things other than anime’ and smut!- and I thought it was a pretty comprehensive list.

I think I might add something mindless like crossword puzzles or games or coloring or something like that on the Energy givers side.

Are there things that jump out to you, either on the Energy Takers or Energy Givers side? Is there a category in the middle where something could go either way? I was thinking that a challenge- something that you are passionate about and you work your butt off to complete, might be both a Giver and a Taker. Maybe like starting a business or something.

We all need to recharge sometimes and that’s what I’m going to do for a bit. I think sometimes social media can fall into the “both” category and Lit is like that for me.

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I don't agree with all of these...
Learning something new adds to my stress and saps my energy. Once I've learned it it's a different story.
Decluttering adds to my stress. I get nervous in "too clean" spaces. I need clutter otherwise my space feels too sterile.
Sedentary time refreshes me and adds to my energy. As long as it's only physically sedentary and not mentally idle. A couple hours on the couch with a book or some crossword puzzles? Yes, please.

Something that could go either way... Socialization. Depending on the people and the situation socializing will drain my batteries quicker than anything. But I can also go all night with the right group of friends. But it's usually the former.

 

[SimonSex]

Love the prompt @Love_Is_Blonde

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Those of us who seek a central ground of balance and that Goldilocks goal of “just right”? We never get there, mostly because we are human and imperfect. Thank the gods for that!

Imbalance can lead to creativity, but too much can lead to disaster. Hovering closely to a conservatively lead life will insure some certainties *yawn*

I think our lives might resemble a terrible stock market graph at close glance with ups and downs, yet steady gains over the long haul.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Clutter is a huge energy taker for me. If I walk into a room and it's "chaos" - I start to feel unwound.

Currently, I'm decluttering as we change furniture, etc...and things are piled in my dining area. I am intentionally avoiding that area until I have the time I need to get through some of it on my own.

Clutter is a huge energy drain for me too. I can’t think straight. I can hear it. It is so so distracting. I don’t need things to be perfectly clean with no personal items around and stark white walls, but when things aren’t put away where they should go, especially when it’s just as easy to put them away as it is to leave them out? That really grates on me and is an energy taker.

When there is a project on the horizon or like when my daughter was getting ready to go to college and we had all of her things gathered in the living room- that was ok, and even helpful, because I could look at it every day and think about what I still needed to get. I guess if there is a reason for the clutter, I’m ok. But if it makes no sense and it’s just sitting there and no one is doing anything about it- that is so distracting to me.

I do believe you get what you give (at least, in my case it’s been true), but there is a fine line of balance where you give and get the right amount—it doesn’t always balance in the present, but pays off later, hopefully!

That’s great that it has been the case for you. I haven’t always had the same luck. But when my hard work does pay off, it is so satisfying and makes it all worth it. The first thing I think of is in my professional life. Finding my current job took a while, but I landed a job in my first choice location and I was proud of myself for that. But then, covid hit and everything went crazy and the job changed totally, as did everyone’s. It took a good 3 years for me to scramble onto my feet and be able to do anything right, it seemed. Now, I am in a place professionally where I’m actually feeling good about a lot of what I’m doing. It just takes so long. I’m finally at the point where my hard work is paying off and it is a relief.

I don't agree with all of these...
Learning something new adds to my stress and saps my energy. Once I've learned it it's a different story.

I loathe not knowing what I’m doing. I hate making mistakes. And they always seem to be public and embarassing. I usually say something stupid and then that’s what people remember for a long time. But those are the lessons that I’ve learned and that make me grow, so it’s for the best. I just wish it was smoother.

Sedentary time refreshes me and adds to my energy. As long as it's only physically sedentary and not mentally idle. A couple hours on the couch with a book or some crossword puzzles? Yes, please.

Me too. I need to watch it though. Too much alone and sedentary time, and I go downhill. I’m very fickle!

Something that could go either way... Socialization. Depending on the people and the situation socializing will drain my batteries quicker than anything. But I can also go all night with the right group of friends. But it's usually the former.

Me too!

Love the prompt @Love_Is_Blonde

Thank you!

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Those of us who seek a central ground of balance and that Goldilocks goal of “just right”? We never get there, mostly because we are human and imperfect. Thank the gods for that!

Imbalance can lead to creativity, but too much can lead to disaster. Hovering closely to a conservatively lead life will insure some certainties *yawn*

Good point, this is good to remember. We don’t want to all be the same. Variety is the spice of life, and all that…

I think our lives might resemble a terrible stock market graph at close glance with ups and downs, yet steady gains over the long haul.

That’s a positive and realistic way to look at it too. Slow and steady wins the race.

 

[hotwords229_A]

That’s great that it has been the case for you. I haven’t always had the same luck. But when my hard work does pay off, it is so satisfying and makes it all worth it. The first thing I think of is in my professional life. Finding my current job took a while, but I landed a job in my first choice location and I was proud of myself for that. But then, covid hit and everything went crazy and the job changed totally, as did everyone’s. It took a good 3 years for me to scramble onto my feet and be able to do anything right, it seemed. Now, I am in a place professionally where I’m actually feeling good about a lot of what I’m doing. It just takes so long. I’m finally at the point where my hard work is paying off and it is a relief.

I’m glad things are going better for you professionally, I know you put A LOT into your work and care about what you do. I know you are, most likely, not as appreciated as you should be and that sucks!

I was answering more from a personal level. As far as what I put into relationships and what I get out of them. Sometimes it seems unbalanced, but it usually comes around (for me, anyway).

I also have ended up working for/with a lot of friends I met in college. So that personal life bled over into professional life. The time and effort I put into—I don’t know, “Proving” myself to be worthy of trust, reliability and friendship, has paid off a lot now.

Hopefully, in the future when I’m old and decrepit, someone I spent time on today will be there to push my wheelchair, even if it’s off a cliff. It’s the thought that counts.

 

[BreukelenAnima]

Another great prompt. Both lists are pretty comprehensive and thought-provoking. The biggest "Energy Giver" for me (which is not on the list ) would be "Artistic Endeavors," or, more simply put, "Art." Surrounding myself with books, cinema, music, paintings, etc... it provides energy, excitement and daily inspiration. I am so appreciative of life, of a world where there is an abundance of art all around us. It's truly a source of happiness and an "energy giver" in my life.

I feel like I'm being selfish just writing this, but I get misplaced when days go by and I haven't been able to take time for myself and read any new pages to a book I've started, or if a film that I've anticipated for months is released, and it leaves the theatres before I've gotten a chance to see it. Down time is a definite "energy giver," though.

I think a category that possibly fits in the middle is something that could be titled, "Stuck in Neutral." Maybe your energy isn't where you'd like it to be or you suddenly feel like you're going through the motions...? Sometimes it feels like there are too few choices or too many choices...? Maybe it's a desire to step out of one's comfort zone? It could extreme worrying or stressing-- sometimes not even sure why? Somewhere between the "Takers" and the "Givers" is that feeling of, "Why am I thinking or feeling this way?"

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I’m glad things are going better for you professionally, I know you put A LOT into your work and care about what you do. I know you are, most likely, not as appreciated as you should be and that sucks!

Thank you. I think that this goes for most in the education field. And since my job changed a bit, I’m not as “in the thick of it” as I was, or like many other teachers are. Not the same kind of stress - now it’s a whole new kind! I appreciate your kind words though.

I was answering more from a personal level. As far as what I put into relationships and what I get out of them. Sometimes it seems unbalanced, but it usually comes around (for me, anyway).

I’m glad it seems to even out eventually.

I also have ended up working for/with a lot of friends I met in college. So that personal life bled over into professional life. The time and effort I put into—I don’t know, “Proving” myself to be worthy of trust, reliability and friendship, has paid off a lot now.

Sounds like a lot of work and long hours but also like a pleasant work environment.

Hopefully, in the future when I’m old and decrepit, someone I spent time on today will be there to push my wheelchair, even if it’s off a cliff. It’s the thought that counts.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Another great prompt. Both lists are pretty comprehensive and thought-provoking. The biggest "Energy Giver" for me (which is not on the list ) would be "Artistic Endeavors," or, more simply put, "Art." Surrounding myself with books, cinema, music, paintings, etc... it provides energy, excitement and daily inspiration. I am so appreciative of life, of a world where there is an abundance of art all around us. It's truly a source of happiness and an "energy giver" in my life.

What are some particularly inspirational works of art for you?