Do women grow tired of sex with just one person quicker than men?

[Bigboobbabe]

While the prevalence of STI's in nursing homes is no laughing matter, it does reveal that older people can and will have very active sex lives given the right circumstances, including women who are well beyond the onset of menopause. Which underscores my earlier point that menopause is too often blamed for a woman calling a halt to sex later in life, when the real reason is she's married to a man who won't change how he approaches sex OR she has simply grown tired of having sex with HIM. Which may have happened because he's not trying to earn her affection anymore. Men can scream and holler all they want about how unfair that is or find a solution, such as (just to name a few):

• Try to earn your wife's sexual attraction instead of just expecting it - ie., look nice, act nice, and make her feel good about herself and do it everyday, not just when you're hoping for sex. Want sex to be more like it used to be? Well, behave more like you used to. Quit bitching about your aches and pains and talking about your damn bowel movements
• Approach love-making differently. Abruptly sticking your dick into your menopausal wife can be an absolute torment for her. See a sex therapist or read a book (Come As Your Are - by Emily Nagoski is a good one) about how to approach sex differently after menopause.
• A husband who watches too much or extreme porn can leave his menopausal wife feeling sexually irrelevant. Consider that the next time you google "anal-loving bukakke gang bangs." You may think she's unaware of what you're looking at but you're probably wrong.
• Consider allowing her to have occasional sex with other men as a way to reinvigorate her general interest in sex. Her sexual self-esteem and self-image might benefit from the excitement of being with someone other than YOU - a guy she's had sex with thousands of times.. ..Obviously, this is very tricky and perhaps should first be discussed with a certified sex therapist who can assess your marriage for withstanding this sort of relationship electro-shock therapy.

Will you go into business with me? Together, we could make sex a positive experience in the USA rather than something we still only talk about in dark corners.
I agree with so many if your points here and on your profile about section.
I had gyn health problems from before I was married, but I didn't know it. Sex was painful and uncomfortable and rather than support me, my husband just complained and called me names. Frigid, selfish, etc.

To be fair, our pre-marital sex life was no different and he still married me.

If I knew then, what I know now, things would be different. But I didnt.

I am married 39 years, and have spent the last 4 living on my own. I safely and proudly practice polyamoury and every relationship I enter is subject to ethical-nonmonagamy.

I believe it is impossible for one human to provide everything another human desires, and the reciprocal is true. We don't settle for one brand of running shoe, why settle for one brand of sex.

My spouse had a fetish for women's lingerie dating back to puberty. I knew this when we married in the 1980's. That self-proclaimed fetish developed into what he described as crossdressing and as of 2-yrs ago, MtoF transition.

As he was entering into the hormone phase, we were on a temporary separation. I suggested we recouple and that I have penetrative sex outside the marital confines.
I was met with the statement I consider to be the root of all misogyny and narcissism.
I was told, "I can't support your lifestyle"

After living together and loving him for 34-years at the time, suddenly my request of a lifestyle was the breaking point.

When my spouse made her debut at work, she was wearing a sweater set that was a hand-me-down from me. When asked about her name, she proudly explained I chose it for her. At the moment all this took place, I was still in the dark about her top surgery, because it had nothing to do with me.

I would love to travel the country demystifying sex and the human body, teaching everyone that being authentic is not just for the LGBTQA population, and normalizing the theory sex and foreplay begin at the moment you say good morning to your partner, not just when you have an erection (male or female?.

 

[LeeKee]

I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say in your post. But regarding the above statement... I find it sad if a couple boasts about their sexual fidelity, but meanwhile are no longer having sex with each other. How is that so admirable?

Never said it was admirable. How was that implied? Just stating she said shes board. And since our love life died. But yet she seems to be ok somehow. Hmmm...fires out in the kitchen...but shes not hungry. Must be eating somewhere else kinda thing. Anyhow.

 

[Kolejdayz]

I think novelty is essential to marital longevity. Whether it comes in the form of different positions or different scenarios or different partners - you can’t let things get stale in the bedroom. Sex troubles turn into relationship troubles very quickly (and vice versa).

That variety in sex is important is so obvious it is hardly worth saying. Now how do we make more guys (and I am a guy) accept their girlfriends' little dalliances? My first wise first wife told me that she thought of sex as just the friendly thing to do and acted accordingly

 

[LMWM321]

I would love to travel the country demystifying sex and the human body, teaching everyone that being authentic is not just for the LGBTQA population, and normalizing the theory sex and foreplay begin at the moment you say good morning to your partner, not just when you have an erection (male or female?.

I love your whole post BBB!!! How did I not see it sooner? My apologies. And thanks for reading my profile.

Regarding the above comment. I wholeheartedly agree - if people could just be authentic from childhood on, there would be so much less heartache in this world. And this goes for everyone. Had your husband been able to better understand his gender dysphoria as a young person, it would have made BOTH of your lives easier. ..Even if it meant they took different paths.

And your comment on foreplay is SPOT ON. It's like an ongoing vibe; an unspoken conversation between partners that never ends. And it isn't for the purpose of being primed and ready for sex when you head to bed, it's about having round-the-clock feelings of affection and attraction for each other.

As for turning your advocacy into a career.... Well, that would be quite an achievement BBB! Meanwhile, keep doing what you're doing - which is boldly and shameless sharing your story! That alone can make a difference.

 

[LMWM321]

Never said it was admirable. How was that implied?

Sorry LK! I misunderstood your post.

Just regard my response as a general statement about how we, as a society, put monogamy on a pedestal. ..Which would be GREAT! ..if not for the fact that many of those who boast about their perfect track record aren't having sex with each other anymore.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

I love your whole post BBB!!! How did I not see it sooner? My apologies. And thanks for reading my profile.

Regarding the above comment. I wholeheartedly agree - if people could just be authentic from childhood on, there would be so much less heartache in this world. And this goes for everyone. Had your husband been able to better understand his gender dysphoria as a young person, it would have made BOTH of your lives easier. ..Even if it meant they took different paths.

And your comment on foreplay is SPOT ON. It's like an ongoing vibe; an unspoken conversation between partners that never ends. And it isn't for the purpose of being primed and ready for sex when you head to bed, it's about having round-the-clock feelings of affection and attraction for each other.

As for turning your advocacy into a career.... Well, that would be quite an achievement BBB! Meanwhile, keep doing what you're doing - which is boldly and shameless sharing your story! That alone can make a difference.

Thank you. For all your kind words.
Honest understanding of ourselves, and honest expression of self would be amazing.

I spent years keeping my ex's secret, protecting his privacy and dignity. Early on, it was to protect me. As we got older, I encouraged him to dress and present more androgynous, thinking it was a transition. A happy medium. He would wear a bra and ladies sweater around the house. I bought him a beautiful cashmere sweater for Christmas. He never tried it on.

When he was retaliating for my cheating, he told our daughter, his family and his friends. I finally asked permission to tell someone, anyone, so I had an outlet and support network.

Now, I tell my story to everyone and anyone who will listen. It does me well to share. To find myself again.

 

[LeeKee]

Sorry LK! I misunderstood your post.

Just regard my response as a general statement about how we, as a society, put monogamy on a pedestal. ..Which would be GREAT! ..if not for the fact that many of those who boast about their perfect track record aren't having sex with each other anymore.

Its a track record, but not one i would have hoped for.

 

[VamPal1]

Idk. I recently moved to a retirement community. It's pretty dead af here.

 

[Kolejdayz]

Idk. I recently moved to a retirement community. It's pretty dead af here.

Maybe you haven't found the in crowd yet?

 

[VamPal1]

Maybe you haven't found the in crowd yet?

LOL Right.

 

[Kolejdayz]

LOL Right.

I'm 75 -- sex is still important to me. I have a wife, but have always wondered what retirement home promiscuity would be like

 

[VamPal1]

I'm 75 -- sex is still important to me. I have a wife, but have always wondered what retirement home promiscuity would be like

Idk, I don't see why anyone would wonder what retirement community sex is like. I guess if men can still get it up, the sky's the limit, as the ratio appears to be 10 to 1, women to men.

 

[Kolejdayz]

Idk, I don't see why anyone would wonder what retirement community sex is like. I guess if men can still get it up, the sky's the limit, as the ratio appears to be 10 to 1, women to men.

LOL and that's exactly why men wonder about it. Some women in their 60s and 70s can still be very attractive

 

[joclfc]

Thank you. For all your kind words.
Honest understanding of ourselves, and honest expression of self would be amazing.

I spent years keeping my ex's secret, protecting his privacy and dignity. Early on, it was to protect me. As we got older, I encouraged him to dress and present more androgynous, thinking it was a transition. A happy medium. He would wear a bra and ladies sweater around the house. I bought him a beautiful cashmere sweater for Christmas. He never tried it on.

When he was retaliating for my cheating, he told our daughter, his family and his friends. I finally asked permission to tell someone, anyone, so I had an outlet and support network.

Now, I tell my story to everyone and anyone who will listen. It does me well to share. To find myself again.

That's a great feeling I imagine, like a release for you?

 

[Bigboobbabe]

That's a great feeling I imagine, like a release for you?

Yes, it is. I try not to skew the narrative the way my ex did. It's either because I am a better person or because I want people to think I am a better person.

 

[joclfc]

Yes, it is. I try not to skew the narrative the way my ex did. It's either because I am a better person or because I want people to think I am a better person.

What do they say " the more you share, the better it gets "?

 

[Sweetdreams71]

LOL and that's exactly why men wonder about it. Some women in their 60s and 70s can still be very attractive

Nice to know that old women can be attractive and worthy of your attention

 

[Kolejdayz]

Nice to know that old women can be attractive and worthy of your attention

very much so. personality counts for a lot

 

[joclfc]

Nice to know that old women can be attractive and worthy of your attention

Who said your old , point them out and I'll sort it.

 

[LMWM321]

Nice to know that old women can be attractive and worthy of your attention

Hahaha... Touché Sweetdreams71. Some of the others may not have picked up on your eye-rolling, but I sure did.

A healthy interest and open mind toward sex is what makes someone sexy, not their age. ..So of course people in their 60's, 70's and well beyond can be attractive..

 

[Sweetdreams71]

Hahaha... Touché Sweetdreams71. Some of the others may not have picked up on your eye-rolling, but I did.

You are so attentive and smart?
I just couldn't resist....

A healthy interest and open mind toward sex is what makes someone sexy, not their age. ..So of course people in their 60's, 70's and well beyond can be attractive..

Well I hope most people think that way?

 

[LMWM321]

You are so attentive and smart?
I just couldn't resist....

Well I hope most people think that way?

Well, thanks... But I just think it's common sense that women of any age can be attractive. If not, it should be.

And not to put too fine a point on things, but "having a healthy interest and open mind toward sex" does not mean a woman needs to be willing to do whatever her partner partner wants - which is often very porn-driven. Not at all!! ..It just means she has an understanding of the importance of sex and is earnest in discovering and seeking out what it is SHE enjoys which, hopefully, intersects to some degree with what her partner wants.

My 60 year-old wife is very sexy, but is not the least bit interested in much of the sex you see on porn sites. Nor is she interested in some of the sex that I would like for us to have. ..And that's just fine. There is enough overlap in our interests to make it sustainably enjoyable.

 

[Mrlighthouse]

My (now ex)husband and I started our non monogamous journey together. It began as a thrill, satisfying his voyeuristic urges and my own desire to find out what sex with different/multiple men would feel like. (Although our first few times I hadn't fully recognised my own desires, I just knew that the idea of it turned me on and went with that feeling. It took months and months of questioning my biases and doing research before I could really understand it.)

Quite often our non-monogamy was one sided, with me enjoying the company of others while my partner either watched or listened to me telling him how it went after, which I'd usually do while doing some kind of sexual activity between us.

I wouldn't say I ever grew tired of having sex with my ex husband. We had our peaks and troughs like all relationships, but even when we went a couple of months without sex (and me turning down his advances) it wasn't because I was tired or unsatisfied with having sex with him, nor was it due to any lack of attraction to him, it was usually down to a flat line in the sexual tension between us. He was the person I spent every leisurely minute of my life with since we were very young. As work, domestic duties and everything else built up, sometimes it felt like I was getting more of a comfort vibe from him than any kind of sexual urge. We always found ways to kick start the tension again and go back to a healthy sex life (a few times a week).

When it came to other guys, that sexual tension I was missing with my husband was usually what made me want a sexual encounter with them. Less because it was a different flavour and more because it fuelled a primal urge in me.

Of course I always respected the rules and boundaries he and I had in place when it came to having sex outside the relationship, I still loved my husband and my relationship with him was more important than getting a one night stand with a stranger, but it was just pure sexual desire whenever it happened.

I'm sure there's a thousand reasons men and women cheat, none of them valid reasons for destroying the trust in a relationship. But I know when I had extra marital encounters they were solely driven by sexual desires. And they'd happen as often when my husband and I were very active as they would when we hadn't had sex for a while.

You are just a little sex fiend.

 

[LMWM321]

I dont think her story describes somebody who is a sex fiend. Your comment has very negative connotations.

 

[Mrlighthouse]

Thank you that, I will say that the commenter and I are having a private conversation as well that may have led him to send such a comment. And I'm confident he meant it in an endearing way.

There is a back story to my comment a private one of which NO OFFENCE has been suffered by the recipient. @LMWM321 thank you for your kindly reminder of respect. Suggest you follow your own advice