Do women grow tired of sex with just one person quicker than men?

[Sweetdreams71]

I wouldn’t have sex with him until he can go without porn for a week.
Porn can be an addiction, not sure he needs it to have sex with you, he may think he needs it to have any sex.
Other possibility is that his testerone is low and he is trying to jump start himself, and not to do with you.

Thank you for your perspective, and he is most likely addicted to some degree.
We have had discussions in the past.

 

[Sweetdreams71]

I'm sorry you're feeling this is beyond hope. ..Maybe in time he'll change or you'll get to the point where you feel you have to speak out.

Men need to understand that watching too much porn, or the wrong kind of porn, can leave a partner feeling sexually irrelevant and left behind.

We had discussions in the past, our relationship evolved in many directions. But I found out who he truly is, and I am not a fan of that person.

 

[Sweetdreams71]

Ask him to show you so you know

I have and he has shown me, he was really hard and leaked pre-cum. But unfortunately it did nothing for me....
I tried playing the sexy whore wife for a couple years, outfits, sexy pictures etc.

 

[Noor]

I have and he has shown me, he was really hard and leaked pre-cum. But unfortunately it did nothing for me....
I tried playing the sexy whore wife for a couple years, outfits, sexy pictures etc.

I’m sorry. I think he is the one who needs to change not you.

 

[LMWM321]

He mainly looks at "still" pictures currently, well that I know of....

Again, I don't want to over step my bounds here, but let me say this...

His interest in Porn is NOT a reflection on you. It's not about what you do or don't look like, or what you will or won't do in the bedroom. It's not about or because of you.

Most men (and many women) crave sexual variety, especially after they've been with the same person for a long while. And since pursuing sex with others is understandably not permitted in most relationships, they seek to scratch this itch through porn. This is going to be true even if their partner looks like Marilyn Monroe (I'm revealing my age) and acts like a porn star in bed. It wouldn't matter - they'd STILL get the itch. And iPads/ iPhones make it ridiculously easy to scratch this itch. I suspect this is also true for a lot of women, but they are less apt to act on the urge because they've been raised to regard viewing porn as quite "unladylike."

So while it may not be easy, try to not take his interest in porn personally.

As to his watching it just before you have sex… It’s not important that he or I or anyone here understands why this bothers you. All that matters is that it does. That is your prerogative - and because he's your husband, it should matter to him. Hopefully there will come a time when you are comfortable discussing it with him because as it stands now, you're carrying this pain just so his feelings are spared. ..You seem awesome. He's lucky to have you.

 

[Sweetdreams71]

Again, I don't want to over step my bounds here, but let me say this...

His interest in Porn is NOT a reflection on you. It's not about what you do or don't look like, or what you will or won't do in the bedroom. It's not about or because of you.

Most men (and many women) crave sexual variety, especially after they've been with the same person for a long while. And since pursuing sex with others is understandably not permitted in most relationships, they seek to scratch this itch through porn. This is going to be true even if their partner looks like Marilyn Monroe (I'm revealing my age) and acts like a porn star in bed. It wouldn't matter - they'd STILL get the itch. And iPads/ iPhones make it ridiculously easy to scratch this itch. I suspect this is also true for a lot of women, but they are less apt to act on the urge because they've been raised to regard viewing porn as quite "unladylike."

So while it may not be easy, try to not take his interest in porn personally.

As to his watching it just before you have sex… It’s not important that he or I or anyone here understands why this bothers you. All that matters is that it does. That is your prerogative - and because he's your husband, it should matter to him. Hopefully there will come a time when you are comfortable discussing it with him because as it stands now, you're carrying this pain just so his feelings are spared. ..You seem awesome. He's lucky to have you.

Thank for your view
It's not my fault that he watches beautiful women fuck for couple hours before he goes to sleep every other night. Gotta get the itch scratched. I won't take it personally anymore.

 

[Erodicus]

Do women grow tired of sex with just one person quicker than men?

Here’s why I think this may be true:

In retirement communities, women who long ago quit having sex with their husbands often resume enjoying sex after he passes. And sometimes in spectacular fashion - ie., sex with lots of men. This phenomenon is known to many of the people who work at retirement homes, who know people who live in them and also to many of the Health Care Providers who treat this cohort of patients.

This leads me to wonder if women might actually be LESS naturally monogamous than men? In other words, do women need sexual variety more than men to keep their interest in sex alive? Men often point to menopause and aging as the reason why so many women call a halt to sex, but I think it may also be because women get sexually bored with just one person.

The fact that women have fewer affairs doesn’t disprove this. After all, women know they are likely to pay a much higher price for seeking sexual variety than men. If caught, they are far more apt to be beaten by a jealous spouse, to be left homeless, and to be shunned by family and friends.

So, rather than take those risks, many women just put sex on the shelf when it becomes joyless for them. ..Then pull if back off the shelf when circumstances - ie., new partners - allow for it.

Thoughts?

As an older guy, I found this to be an interesting observation. In my limited experience, I'm inclined to think it's more a matter of individual libido levels than gender.

 

[Patsysub]

I just hope more women found a way to get what they want from sex&partner etc or what fetish or fantasies they want to experience,and if they want to try another partner,why not?Women are not something you buy in a supermarket and throwing it away after use,when women can be open you gonna be surprised how sexy&naughty they can be

 

[Clanmoody]

I just hope more women found a way to get what they want from sex&partner etc or what fetish or fantasies they want to experience,and if they want to try another partner,why not?Women are not something you buy in a supermarket and throwing it away after use,when women can be open you gonna be surprised how sexy&naughty they can be

I have a few women in their early 60’s who love being naughty

 

[Stopokochac]

From my personal experience, it seems like it

 

[lc69hunter]

I don't think getting tired of sex with the same person, is the proper way to phrase the question, or issue. Women love their men. However, given the right circumstance, and opportunity, many women (two surveys put it at about 42%) will sample a new man, and then bring back that increased sexual energy back to the marital bed.

A win for all involved

 

[LMWM321]

I don't think getting tired of sex with the same person, is the proper way to phrase the question, or issue. Women love their men. However, given the right circumstance, and opportunity, many women (two surveys put it at about 42%) will sample a new man, and then bring back that increased sexual energy back to the marital bed.

A win for all involved

I hear you… But I don’t think you’ve addressed what I outlined in my OP.

Of course, a big part of it (as @policywank pointed out earlier in the thread) is simply that women historically haven’t had the privilege of prioritizing sexual attraction in choosing a mate the way men have. Other things like being a good and reliable provider, and a trustworthy father to her children were most important. Whereas when a man chooses a partner, his sexual attraction to her was a much bigger part of the equation. If this is true, then it’s not surprising the woman loses interest in the man sooner the vice versa.

Still… I think the point I made in my OP is at least partially true. Because at least some of those women who quit having sex with their husbands claim to have had a very reciprocal and vibrant sex live earlier in their marriage.

 

[Clanmoody]

I hear you… But I don’t think you’ve addressed what I outlined in my OP.

Of course, a big part of it (as @policywank pointed out earlier in the thread) is simply that women historically haven’t had the privilege of prioritizing sexual attraction in choosing a mate the way men have. Other things like being a good and reliable provider, and a trustworthy father to her children were most important. Whereas when a man chooses a partner… It’s mostly about sexual attraction. If true then it’s not surprising the woman loses interest in the man sooner the vice versa.

Still… I think the point I made in my OP is at least partially true. Because at least some of those women who quit having sex with their husbands claim to have had very reciprocal and vibrant sex live earlier in their marriage.

BORING

 

[MerWilh]

I think it depends on the person.
My parents are very open about sex. They have an open marriage.
I never had just one boyfriend. And I was open about that to them.
I met a few who didn't like that so that never lasted long.
Now all my fwbs know that I sleep with other men. And they all accept it.

I really can't see myself just having one man...

That is a very healthy outlook on life.

 

[bumpinthenight2022]

My first wife and I were high school sweethearts. We had a great sex life in the beginning of the marriage and it kinda just died. I divorced because, among other things, we hadn't been intimate in two years. I was 25 or 26.

Immediately after the divorce, she literally fucked everybody we knew. We live in a big city but have a kinda close knit personal circle. Every single, and some of the married guys in that circle got a piece in that first year. So IDK, maybe 10 or 12?

I was offended/insulted. For one, you didn't want to fuck your husband, the guy who loved you, started a family and built a life with you, but suddenly you're horny for every Tom, Dick, and Henry in town? And some of these were guys I thought we were cool. Like, there was this girl who I only casually knew her husband, she wanted to fuck, I'm like "nah, that wouldn't be right." As fine as she was, if I didn't know her husband, I'd have definitely bent her over. But because I only *kinda* knew him, I couldn't cross that line for her. Second, for a while I thought it made me look, in some way, bad. I've gotten over those feelings. But it's a good example of what you're trying to describe.

Post divorce, I wasn't nearly as active as her. I've only had 6 partners over 12 years, one of whom I married. I've always been more satisfied with the comfort that you have when you "know" someone.

 

[MellowingGrey]

My ex wife used to fall asleep whilst I was hunping her. Once she picked up a magazine and started reading it. I was on the vinegar stroke once when she said “hurry up I want a shit”. Once I was on a full stroke when she asked me if I was in yet. After ten years of this abuse I started to realise she was bored with me. So if this adds to the statistics of women growing tied of sex with one person, then add me to your statistical bell (end) curve.

 

[StrongMaster7]

I had a friend who used to day, "Everyone is as faithful as their options." I don't exactly agree, but you see his point.

If there is a queue of women just outside my door, might I get tired of the one with me a little sooner? Sure.
If the woman with me is the only woman who wants me, I would cling on to her!

 

[Goldenh123456789]

Personally I do… so you close your eyes and fantasize about someone else x

 

[drewrnc]

The saying i was taught. Men love to have sex, woman have sex for love. But im sure there are a few women that enjoy sex. just not my wife. Menopause...

Same for me...menopause has made sex for her uncomfortable due to dryness even when using lube.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

I just realized the date. Sorry to say, I'm serous about the question. If I was going for an April Fool's prank, I would have ginned it up with a much more outrageous premise.

I managed a clinic that ran tests for sexually transmitted infections.
I can tell you, in all actuality, Chlamydia is a young person's STI. gonorrhea is the nursing home and assisted living infection.
Many residents have multiple partners.

 

[devakama469]

Personally I do… so you close your eyes and fantasize about someone else x

If it were me you were having sex with, I'd encourage you not just to get extremely kinky in those fantasies, but also to tell me about them in the most abundant & pornographic level of detail possible!

 

[Kolejdayz]

Do women grow tired of sex with just one person quicker than men?

Here’s why I think this may be true:

In retirement communities, women who long ago quit having sex with their husbands often resume enjoying sex after he passes. And sometimes in spectacular fashion - ie., sex with lots of men. This phenomenon is known to many of the people who work at retirement homes, who know people who live in them and also to many of the Health Care Providers who treat this cohort of patients.

This leads me to wonder if women might actually be LESS naturally monogamous than men? In other words, do women need sexual variety more than men to keep their interest in sex alive? Men often point to menopause and aging as the reason why so many women call a halt to sex, but I think it may also be because women get sexually bored with just one person.

The fact that women have fewer affairs doesn’t disprove this. After all, women know they are likely to pay a much higher price for seeking sexual variety than men. If caught, they are far more apt to be beaten by a jealous spouse, to be left homeless, and to be shunned by family and friends.

So, rather than take those risks, many women just put sex on the shelf when it becomes joyless for them. ..Then pull if back off the shelf when circumstances - ie., new partners - allow for it.

Thoughts?

which raises the question of whether women have fewer affairs

 

[LMWM321]

I managed a clinic that ran tests for sexually transmitted infections.
I can tell you, in all actuality, Chlamydia is a young person's STI. gonorrhea is the nursing home and assisted living infection.
Many residents have multiple partners.

While the prevalence of STI's in nursing homes is no laughing matter, it does reveal that older people can and will have very active sex lives given the right circumstances, including women who are well beyond the onset of menopause. Which underscores my earlier point that menopause is too often blamed for a woman calling a halt to sex later in life, when the real reason is she's married to a man who won't change how he approaches sex OR she has simply grown tired of having sex with HIM. Which may have happened because he's not trying to earn her affection anymore. Men can scream and holler all they want about how unfair that is or find a solution, such as (just to name a few):

• Try to earn your wife's sexual attraction instead of just expecting it - ie., look nice, act nice, and make her feel good about herself and do it everyday, not just when you're hoping for sex. Want sex to be more like it used to be? Well, behave more like you used to when she was your new girlfriend. So quit bitching about your aches and pains and talking about your damn bowel movements
• Approach love-making differently. Abruptly sticking your dick into your menopausal wife can be an absolute torment for her. See a sex therapist or read a book (Come As Your Are - by Emily Nagoski is a good one) about how to approach sex differently after menopause.
• A husband who watches too much or extreme porn can leave his menopausal wife feeling sexually irrelevant. AND, it can raise his minimum threshold for sexual stimulation way beyond any activity his wife is comfortable with. Consider that the next time you google "anal-loving bukakke gang bangs." And you may think she's unaware of what you're looking at, but you're probably wrong.
• Consider allowing her to occasionally have sex with other men as a way to reinvigorate her general interest in sex. Her sexual self-esteem and self-image might benefit from the excitement of being with someone other than YOU - a guy she's had sex with thousands of times.. ..Obviously, this is very tricky and perhaps should first be discussed with a certified sex therapist who can assess your marriage for withstanding this sort of relationship electro-shock therapy.

 

[LeeKee]

Wife mentioned 3 years ago that " yours is the only dick I've had for years"
Only had sex twice since. She act like everything's ok. Has all kinds of secret friendships with work colleagues. Lemme get a side piece and see what happens. This is a form of abuse. But, hey, gotta understand everything, no matter how ridiculous it is, cuz thats they way its set up.

 

[LMWM321]

Wife mentioned 3 years ago that " yours is the only dick I've had for years"
Only had sex twice since.

I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say in your post. But regarding the above statement... I find it sad if a couple boasts about their sexual fidelity, but meanwhile are no longer having sex with each other. How is that so admirable?