✨Highlights and Bombshells💥

[RosewoodTulip]

Excellent stuff if it works for you.

I'm cautiously optimistic

I completely get this. It happens to me with submission. Ceding control to another opens up a quagmire of emotion. I often need help to untangle. Knowing I'm not seeing situations as they are adds so much instability it's easier to shut down and retreat than deal with the other person.

Yes that's a good point actually. Submission is one way to quiet the overwhelming, overthinking, indecisive panic that takes a lot of my energy. If someone makes me feel safe enough to put all of that in their hands it can feel amazing!
But then - oh brain you trickster - I start getting in my head about that too. About being reliant on someone, putting my burdens in their hands, exposing all of my vulnerabilities and not being sure if I'll still be ok afterwards.
It's not that I lack trust in the dominant, I lack trust in myself.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

So while you lazy ass sperm doddled around and let the lady do all the work, I made an effort. I suspect this carries over into other areas as well.

I agree our relative levels of delusional thinking probably transcend this topic.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

What just happened in this thread

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Through a different lens​

I love it when there is a new spin on an old idea that shows it in a new light.

An example would be when I was watching Project Runway, one of my favorite shows, (bear with me- there is a point here) and the designer had flubbed the challenge by wasting all his time. He was almost out of fabric and when all hope seemed lost, he came up with a brilliant idea to repurpose a classic jean jacket as a business attire piece by elongating it and making other small adjustments. It clearly was inspired by a basic denim jacket that we all have/had (ok maybe not Pmann) in our closets, but those small tweaks made it high fashion.

Then I was thinking about seeing other things that are around us in a different light. I read an article about jaywalkers recently - I don’t know why, I just read random things!- and I got a kick out of the author categorizing different types of jaywalkers. Here is a cute cartoon to illustrate some of them.


In case the picture is gone, there are sketches of “the Runner” with approximate speed of 5.2 mph, “the Retroactive”, “The Veerer”, “The Straight Up the Middle”, and The Plodder. (Cartoon credit to Gay Talese)

So, my long winded point and/or question/assignment is … if you were to look at Lit in a new light, since it is on the cusp, seemingly, of a new version of itself, who are the “Jaywalkers” who meander through these threads? What types of Litsters are here?

ETA: this is meant to be lighthearted and fun

 

[AlpineFresco]

OMG I have an identity now, I'm a jaywalker
Love it! I'm absolutely a veerer if only because of how I answer questions.

Also I haven't had a denim jacket since I was in my late teens I absolutely accidentally rocked a Canadian tux for a while... oh dear me!

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

OMG I have an identity now, I'm a jaywalker
Love it! I'm absolutely a veerer if only because of how I answer questions.

Also I haven't had a denim jacket since I was in my late teens I absolutely accidentally rocked a Canadian tux for a while... oh dear me!

Collar up or collar down? That’s the important question.

 

[FormerAllStar2]

I’m probably the plodder. Moving slowly through; maybe you’ll notice me, maybe not. Trying to just make it to the other side without being banned for opening up my coat jacket full of sex gifs

 

[Endless_Night]

Oh, I am definitely a runner.

Catch me if you can!

 

[AlpineFresco]

Collar up or collar down? That’s the important question.

Oh down, for sure. Never was a collar-up kind of guy.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

For jaywalking, I’m a plodder. Fuck you cars, cities are for people.

Here, imma veerer.

Unless we’re supposed to come up with Lit specific categories, then I’d probably call my self a a Whack-a-mole.

 

[AlpineFresco]

I’d probably call my self a Whack-a-mole.

The avocado dip?

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

For jaywalking, I’m a plodder. Fuck you cars, cities are for people.

Here, imma veerer.

Unless we’re supposed to come up with Lit specific categories, then I’d probably call my self a a Whack-a-mole.

Yes!! Love this category!

I didn’t have a mole emoji so Whack-a-beaver will have to do.

 

[AlpineFresco]

Yes!! Love this category!

I didn’t have a mole emoji so Whack-a-beaver will have to do.

Uh, LIB? That's a very different game.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Uh, LIB? That's a very different game.

Oh, I know

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Yes!! Love this category!

I didn’t have a mole emoji so Whack-a-beaver will have to do.

Well, I don’t wanna brag or nothing…

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

There could be “The Frogger” - a Litster who just tries to avoid drama and cross crosses the boards getting out of the way of all the cars and trucks and motorcycles but sometimes gets run over.

Or the “HEYIMWALKINHERE!” - a Litster who goes where he or she pleases and when they want and isn’t afraid of ruffling feathers.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Or the “HEYIMWALKINHERE!” - a Litster who goes where he or she pleases and when they want and isn’t afraid of ruffling feathers.

Why you coming at me ?!?!?

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

There could be “The Frogger” - a Litster who just tries to avoid drama and cross crosses the boards getting out of the way of all the cars and trucks and motorcycles but sometimes gets run over.

Or the “HEYIMWALKINHERE!” - a Litster who goes where he or she pleases and when they want and isn’t afraid of ruffling feathers.

Divebomber. Pops in, says some shit stirring shit. Then bails.

The Flasher: Boobs. Butts. Ballsacks. Whatever.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I'm different types depending on my mood. Sometimes, I'm the Dasher. I'm in and out so quick, peek and post.

Sometimes I am the Plodder, just making my way through the threads I watch.

If I get a wild hair, I'm Veering here and there. Running all over, in everyone's business.

 

[BreukelenAnima]

Once again, I am coming in late to this discussion... I apologize for that, but I greatly appreciate everyone's contribution and everyone's honesty in discussing anxiety and ways to manage it. It's made me reread this thread twice now and I appreciate all of you who have shared your story... and suggested remedies. It has help me reflect on my own fears and that has been extremely helpful today. I think it's natural for most people to suffer from some kind of anxiety... . Experience and perspective can help manage the fear of the unknown -- but studies show that the anxiety increases with age.

On a personal note, I have raised my son on my own since he was 10 years old. He is now 17 years old and soon to be a rising 12th grader... We've always had a close relationship and it was only natural that he would come live with me at some point. I find myself already gripped with anxiety and fear of him leaving next year for college. My entire life has centered around him and I fear that I will lose my identity and purpose when he leaves. He's a student at the school where I teach, so I've been lucky to have all this time with him. That said, it's made me incredibly anxious just thinking about us being apart. During those early years together (grades 5-8), they were probably the best years of my life... I had to be both mother and father for him and it brought me tremendous joy raising him, making him happy and ...raising him from a boy to pre-teen to a teenager. I have been working on my anxiety in advance... but sometimes the impending sadness seems too great -- even at this early stage,

I guess... what I'm trying to say is, reading everyone's story has brought me some comfort... The honesty in everyone's dialogue creates a support system... and it's meaningful to read it, or when I'm on this site, communicating one-on-one with a good person or on a thread like this... following an honest and intellectual conversation. I can recognize my worries in the words of someone else. I appreciate the openness in which many of you write. It's been quite helpful, and a lot less painful knowing... I'm not alone.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Divebomber. Pops in, says some shit stirring shit. Then bails.

The Flasher: Boobs. Butts. Ballsacks. Whatever.

You know.. I kind of feel like this could also be the same person. A Divebombing Flasher. We’ve had at least one of those that I can remember!

 

[velona]

The lurkers

 

[jason28053]

Yes!! Love this category!

I didn’t have a mole emoji so Whack-a-beaver will have to do.

As long as it’s a fluffy beaver

 

[barefootgirl69]

@BreukelenAnima

I have five children, four of them grown and gone. I think prepping myself for their leaving helped a lot. They were educated at home, so we had lot's of time together.
The biggest thing I told myself was "I didn't raise them to keep them." It may sound weird, but I did my best to teach them to be adults and to succeed, not just in a job, but in relationships and life.

You'll always be around to call if he needs you. (Mine wanted to know how to cook pork chops for his girl. )

As you prepare for this exciting change in your child's life, remember that you've raised a wonderful person. Also, you get to grow in your mom role. It's another exciting adventure, if you want to think of it this way, and there's so much to look for to!

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Once again, I am coming in late to this discussion... I apologize for that, but I greatly appreciate everyone's contribution and everyone's honesty in discussing anxiety and ways to manage it. It's made me reread this thread twice now and I appreciate all of you who have shared your story... and suggested remedies. It has help me reflect on my own fears and that has been extremely helpful today. I think it's natural for most people to suffer from some kind of anxiety... . Experience and perspective can help manage the fear of the unknown -- but studies show that the anxiety increases with age.

On a personal note, I have raised my son on my own since he was 10 years old. He is now 17 years old and soon to be a rising 12th grader... We've always had a close relationship and it was only natural that he would come live with me at some point. I find myself already gripped with anxiety and fear of him leaving next year for college. My entire life has centered around him and I fear that I will lose my identity and purpose when he leaves. He's a student at the school where I teach, so I've been lucky to have all this time with him. That said, it's made me incredibly anxious just thinking about us being apart. During those early years together (grades 5-8), they were probably the best years of my life... I had to be both mother and father for him and it brought me tremendous joy raising him, making him happy and ...raising him from a boy to pre-teen to a teenager. I have been working on my anxiety in advance... but sometimes the impending sadness seems too great -- even at this early stage,

I guess... what I'm trying to say is, reading everyone's story has brought me some comfort... The honesty in everyone's dialogue creates a support system... and it's meaningful to read it, or when I'm on this site, communicating one-on-one with a good person or on a thread like this... following an honest and intellectual conversation. I can recognize my worries in the words of someone else. I appreciate the openness in which many of you write. It's been quite helpful, and a lot less painful knowing... I'm not alone.

I’m so glad that you shared this. This is the type of conversation that this thread is designed for. I was always days behind on the conversation and I’d want to add my comments but then feel I was too late. I’m so so happy that you continued your thoughts here.

My older daughter just completed her second year of college. I have lived to tell the tale. It CAN be done. But at first, I really wasn’t sure that I’d survive. The anxiety was real. And my sadness was palpable. I. MISSED. HER. Still do. But! I will tell you, they learn so much at college. One way or another- maybe it’s academic. Maybe it’s interpersonal skills. Maybe it’s inner strength. Maybe it’s how to do laundry. It’s something. They grow and that is so cool to see. It needs to happen.

It will be ok. There will be school breaks. It will be ok. I promise.

(Let’s talk.) Big hug