✨Highlights and Bombshells💥

[Lord Pmann]

I’m now picturing a prostate wand with its own prostate toy

I’d post a picture but… new rules.

 

[Ash999]

*Let’s go, Dad.*

Anton Chekhov writes in one of his stories :

At the bus stop, an old man and a young pregnant woman were waiting together.

The man kept staring at the woman’s round belly, intrigued. Then he gently dared to ask :
— How far along are you ?

The young woman seemed elsewhere, lost in thought. Worry was written on her tired face. At first, she didn’t answer. Then, after a few seconds of silence, she murmured :
— I’m at twenty-three weeks...

— Is this your first child ? he asked.
— Yes, she replied, her voice barely audible.

— Don’t be afraid, he added. Everything will be all right, you’ll see.

She placed a hand on her belly, looked straight ahead, her eyes shining, fighting back tears.
— I hope so… she replied.

The old man continued:
— Sometimes we let ourselves be overwhelmed by worries that, in truth, don’t deserve it...

— Maybe…, she whispered sadly.

He looked at her more closely, with more compassion.
— You seem to be going through a hard time. Your husband… is he not with you ?

— He left me four months ago.

— Why ?!

— It’s complicated…

— And your loved ones? Your family, friends ? No one to support you ?

She took a deep breath.
— I live alone with my father… He’s ill.

A long silence. Then the old man asked :
— Is he still the pillar you once knew as a child ?

Tears rolled down the young woman’s cheeks.
— Yes ..… Even now.

— Even in his condition? What’s wrong with him ?

— He no longer remembers who I am ..…

She spoke those words just as the bus arrived.
She stood up, took a few steps… Then changed her mind, came back to the old man, gently took his hand, and said tenderly :

*Let’s go, Dad*.

 

[SimonSex]

Most likely, not Chekhov.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

 

[CuriousRick]

View attachment 2543246

Only 20? Amateur! Lol

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Ok. I’m still on anxiety. ​

Can you stay in the moment? Does it work? Does replaying the past scenarios just cause more and more anger and/or sadness? Or do you come to some sort of resolution?

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I’m going with it …

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Worry Wart​

Are you a worrier? Would you say you are anxious? Or would you classify it as being a planner or thinking ahead? Is it a blessing or a curse? Would you change this quality about yourself?

This image below -hopefully it’ll stick around for a bit, but in case it disappears- is an image of two of the same man’s profiles. On one of them, there are lines emitting from his eyes to show him looking outward. And the other profile has lines pointing from his eyes to show his focus going inside his skull - or looking inward. The caption under the profile of the man looking outward says “field of vision of a normal person”, and under the other one, it says “field of vision of an anxious person.”

This made me think a lot of how when I’m feeling anxious, it’s because I’m all wrapped around the axle with my own thoughts and not paying attention to anything else. Not asking for help. Not looking at how things really are; only focusing on my interpretation of them. Perseverating on negative thoughts. It’s so hard to get out of that cycle when I find myself there.

But it can also be a blessing when I get focused on things - hyper focused. I’m on time. Prepared. Have a backup plan for the backup plan. So I guess it’s not all bad.

Where do you fall on the anxious to normal spectrum? What do you tend to worry about that wouldn’t be something that we’d find on the nightly news? (We don’t wanna talk about the news, goodness knows)

View attachment 2542442

I haven't been here for ages.
And I know it's a "catch up on interesting topics" thread but I'm still very far behind.
But this is a topic very close to my heart. Or brain I suppose.

Sorry for the following.

I'm diagnosed with severe anxiety. It's extremely debilitating - I struggle leaving the house most days. Even online I tie myself up in knots (and not in a fun way) stressing about if I'm saying or doing the right thing, posting at the right time, reacting in the best way. I exhaust myself
And that's just a regular day.

When it joins up with its good buddy depression and they take me on a little spiral I honestly don't trust my own thoughts. I shut down and retreat because I know I'm not seeing situations as they are but I still can't tell what they should be. I disassociate and get trapped in landmines of thoughts about what I should have said, what I should have done. Am I worthy of my friends. Am I too much for them.
"Jesus Christ Rosie no one actually gives a fuck about your problems, they're just being polite until you go away..."

I try to make myself as useful as possible. A shoulder to cry on. An emergency babysitter. Ready with whatever you may need because if you need me you won't forget about me.

I simultaneously pull away from my friends and then get upset when I don't hear from them in a while which makes me retreat more. So now currently I've decided it's best to keep the vast majority of my interactions here surface level because I know the next time I spiral again I'll let everyone down.

Welcome to my brain!

 

[SimonSex]

That’s no picnic @RosewoodTulip. Hugs to you!

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I haven't been here for ages.
And I know it's a "catch up on interesting topics" thread but I'm still very far behind.
But this is a topic very close to my heart. Or brain I suppose.

Sorry for the following.

I'm diagnosed with severe anxiety. It's extremely debilitating - I struggle leaving the house most days. Even online I tie myself up in knots (and not in a fun way) stressing about if I'm saying or doing the right thing, posting at the right time, reacting in the best way. I exhaust myself
And that's just a regular day.

When it joins up with its good buddy depression and they take me on a little spiral I honestly don't trust my own thoughts. I shut down and retreat because I know I'm not seeing situations as they are but I still can't tell what they should be. I disassociate and get trapped in landmines of thoughts about what I should have said, what I should have done. Am I worthy of my friends. Am I too much for them.
"Jesus Christ Rosie no one actually gives a fuck about your problems, they're just being polite until you go away..."

I try to make myself as useful as possible. A shoulder to cry on. An emergency babysitter. Ready with whatever you may need because if you need me you won't forget about me.

I simultaneously pull away from my friends and then get upset when I don't hear from them in a while which makes me retreat more. So now currently I've decided it's best to keep the vast majority of my interactions here surface level because I know the next time I spiral again I'll let everyone down.

Welcome to my brain!

Were we separated at birth? Because so much of this sounds familiar. I do not have that official diagnosis, however I do drive myself and others around me crazy with my worrying. And once I’ve started, it is very difficult for me to stop. I try to do everything within my power to plan ahead to avoid problems, and to right them if they’ve happened.

I’m a fan of therapy. It has helped me throughout my life during some pretty devastating times. It’s such hard work, but I believe that it is worth it. I also believe that matching medications prescribed by a doctor is helpful for some too. There is such a stigma attached to mental health struggles. We really just need to support each other.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I haven't been here for ages.
And I know it's a "catch up on interesting topics" thread but I'm still very far behind.
But this is a topic very close to my heart. Or brain I suppose.

Sorry for the following.

I'm diagnosed with severe anxiety. It's extremely debilitating - I struggle leaving the house most days. Even online I tie myself up in knots (and not in a fun way) stressing about if I'm saying or doing the right thing, posting at the right time, reacting in the best way. I exhaust myself
And that's just a regular day.

When it joins up with its good buddy depression and they take me on a little spiral I honestly don't trust my own thoughts. I shut down and retreat because I know I'm not seeing situations as they are but I still can't tell what they should be. I disassociate and get trapped in landmines of thoughts about what I should have said, what I should have done. Am I worthy of my friends. Am I too much for them.
"Jesus Christ Rosie no one actually gives a fuck about your problems, they're just being polite until you go away..."

I try to make myself as useful as possible. A shoulder to cry on. An emergency babysitter. Ready with whatever you may need because if you need me you won't forget about me.

I simultaneously pull away from my friends and then get upset when I don't hear from them in a while which makes me retreat more. So now currently I've decided it's best to keep the vast majority of my interactions here surface level because I know the next time I spiral again I'll let everyone down.

Welcome to my brain!

Lit doesn’t have the hug emoji I wanted to give this.

I’ll just put this out there: you will never disappoint me or let me down. You have a great heart as well as being thoughtful, considerate, and interesting. Those things are everything to me. If you disappear or retreat, I support whatever is best for you and will assume you’re taking care of yourself which is the most important thing. One PM a year or hundreds, friendship is meeting people where they are and appreciating what they bring into your world. It changes over time and that’s ok

 

[Lord Pmann]

I try to make myself as useful as possible. A shoulder to cry on. An emergency babysitter. Ready with whatever you may need because if you need me you won't forget about me.

I think you’re probably seeing things the wrong way, here. I doubt your friends like you because of your usefulness. It’s good to be those things, but your value as a person and a friend certainly extends beyond your utility. You have value for who you are, not what you do.

(Please note that I didn’t make a single comment about her boobs)

There is such a stigma attached to mental health struggles. We really just need to support each other.

This is incredibly true. And I’ll admit I was one that attached this stigma at one point, because I didn’t understand it. Until it hit me about 8-9 years back, out of the blue. It kicked me in the mental nuts like an angry donkey. Fortunately, my battle with it was pretty short lived. I tried medication for about a month and that was awful. I’d rather feel like shit than be medicated and feel uncomfortably numb. A little bit of therapy helped out for me and now I’m the healthy Lord Pmann you have before you today.

I think some people struggle to understand that it’s a real problem, not just someone being a baby or making things up. We wouldn’t attach a stigma to someone for taking cancer meds. But we do for someone taking mental health meds.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I think you’re probably seeing things the wrong way, here. I doubt your friends like you because of your usefulness. It’s good to be those things, but your value as a person and a friend certainly extends beyond your utility. You have value for who you are, not what you do.

(Please note that I didn’t make a single comment about her boobs)



This is incredibly true. And I’ll admit I was one that attached this stigma at one point, because I didn’t understand it. Until it hit me about 8-9 years back, out of the blue. It kicked me in the mental nuts like an angry donkey. Fortunately, my battle with it was pretty short lived. I tried medication for about a month and that was awful. I’d rather feel like shit than be medicated and feel uncomfortably numb. A little bit of therapy helped out for me and now I’m the healthy Lord Pmann you have before you today.

I think some people struggle to understand that it’s a real problem, not just someone being a baby or making things up. We wouldn’t attach a stigma to someone for taking cancer meds. But we do for someone taking mental health meds.

I had to try a few different types because I also felt numb on one, and one made me want to fight everybody . For those close to me, you might be laughing bc that might seem my natural state sometimes but this was worse! Anyway, shop around.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I had to try a few different types because I also felt numb on one, and one made me want to fight everybody . For those close to me, you might be laughing bc that might seem my natural state sometimes but this was worse! Anyway, shop around.

The numbness drug was obviously the one I took. It was the worst thing I’ve ever felt. I’d rather the sadness. At least I wrote some good music during that time. The numbness made me non-competitive and that’s a no-go for me. I am built for competition and winning. In fact, my very first action in life was a swimming competition versus about 500M other swimmers just like me. And I won. I was literally born a winner. So the lack of competition is not okay for me.

I just remember thinking, “I’ve got to get this shit sorted because I cannot deal with anything else that makes me feel like this.” Now that’s not for everyone and I was fortunate that I didn’t need meds badly. So I’m not recommending that route for everyone. I just did everything I could to be more active and eat better. That helped. I’ve always been quite active, but the more I did the better I felt.

I’m struggling to imagine you wanting to fight everyone.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

The numbness drug was obviously the one I took. It was the worst thing I’ve ever felt. I’d rather the sadness. At least I wrote some good music during that time. The numbness made me non-competitive and that’s a no-go for me. I am built for competition and winning. In fact, my very first action in life was a swimming competition versus about 500M other swimmers just like me. And I won. I was literally born a winner. So the lack of competition is not okay for me.

I just remember thinking, “I’ve got to get this shit sorted because I cannot deal with anything else that makes me feel like this.” Now that’s not for everyone and I was fortunate that I didn’t need meds badly. So I’m not recommending that route for everyone. I just did everything I could to be more active and eat better. That helped. I’ve always been quite active, but the more I did the better I felt.

I’m struggling to imagine you wanting to fight everyone.

That sounds terrible. I’m glad you are on the other side of it.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I’m a fan of therapy. It has helped me throughout my life during some pretty devastating times. It’s such hard work, but I believe that it is worth it. I also believe that matching medications prescribed by a doctor is helpful for some too. There is such a stigma attached to mental health struggles. We really just need to support each other.

Yes I recommend therapy to everyone! I've had counselling and cbt before and I'm on a waiting list for EMDR therapy which sounds very interesting. I'm currently not medicating. I was on strong ones for a number of years and, as you and Pmann said, the numbness was at times worse than what it was meant to be treating. So I'm trying to learn how to cope without. Mixed results haha.
But yes, we do need to look out for and after each other.

Lit doesn’t have the hug emoji I wanted to give this.

I’ll just put this out there: you will never disappoint me or let me down. You have a great heart as well as being thoughtful, considerate, and interesting. Those things are everything to me. If you disappear or retreat, I support whatever is best for you and will assume you’re taking care of yourself which is the most important thing. One PM a year or hundreds, friendship is meeting people where they are and appreciating what they bring into your world. It changes over time and that’s ok

Thank you. That's so lovely of you to say so.

I think you’re probably seeing things the wrong way, here. I doubt your friends like you because of your usefulness. It’s good to be those things, but your value as a person and a friend certainly extends beyond your utility. You have value for who you are, not what you do.

Yes probably. But it's hard to get a clear perspective on your own life sometimes I think. I appreciate your kindness (yes you can tell people I said you were kind )

(Please note that I didn’t make a single comment about her boobs)

It's not even Christmas and I've had a miracle!

 

[Lord Pmann]

Yes I recommend therapy to everyone! I've had counselling and cbt before and I'm on a waiting list for EMDR therapy which sounds very interesting.

I’ve had a couple friends who have used this with tremendous success to deal with some pretty heavy stuff.

I asked my therapist about it once. This is an actual response from my therapist:

“It doesn’t work on jackasses.”

Yes probably. But it's hard to get a clear perspective on your own life sometimes I think. I appreciate your kindness (yes you can tell people I said you were kind )

I assure you this isn’t the reputation I’m going for.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I’ve had a couple friends who have used this with tremendous success to deal with some pretty heavy stuff.

Oh that's encouraging!

“It doesn’t work on jackasses.”

That's really encouraging!

 

[cheekygirl75]

Worry Wart​

Are you a worrier? Would you say you are anxious? Or would you classify it as being a planner or thinking ahead? Is it a blessing or a curse? Would you change this quality about yourself?

This image below -hopefully it’ll stick around for a bit, but in case it disappears- is an image of two of the same man’s profiles. On one of them, there are lines emitting from his eyes to show him looking outward. And the other profile has lines pointing from his eyes to show his focus going inside his skull - or looking inward. The caption under the profile of the man looking outward says “field of vision of a normal person”, and under the other one, it says “field of vision of an anxious person.”

This made me think a lot of how when I’m feeling anxious, it’s because I’m all wrapped around the axle with my own thoughts and not paying attention to anything else. Not asking for help. Not looking at how things really are; only focusing on my interpretation of them. Perseverating on negative thoughts. It’s so hard to get out of that cycle when I find myself there.

But it can also be a blessing when I get focused on things - hyper focused. I’m on time. Prepared. Have a backup plan for the backup plan. So I guess it’s not all bad.

Where do you fall on the anxious to normal spectrum?

I have a diagnosis of anxiety, so on the anxious side, though I think I hide it well a lot of the time. I think depression is worse for me than anxiety, though together they're not fun. I have always questioned the diagnosis because I don't think it's as bad as some people I've seen/known with anxiety. It does occasionally prevent me from doing things, but it's more situational than an every day thing - like being panicked at the thought of scuba diving. That's when my anxiety really kicks in.

What do you tend to worry about that wouldn’t be something that we’d find on the nightly news? (We don’t wanna talk about the news, goodness knows)

Well, I don't watch the nightly news for just that reason... but mostly I worry about dying alone. I've had some harsh realizations about myself in the last year or so, since my mother started getting really sick, that make me very worried about getting old and ending up alone. But that's not any more fun to talk about than the nightly news!

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Well, I don't watch the nightly news for just that reason... but mostly I worry about dying alone. I've had some harsh realizations about myself in the last year or so, since my mother started getting really sick, that make me very worried about getting old and ending up alone. But that's not any more fun to talk about than the nightly news!

The future is uncertain and that is unsettling to me. I’ve talked with some friends - some married, some single, different stages of their lives, and it seems like all of them were feeling anxious about the same things. It’s hard when parents start getting older. It’s hard to ignore the next stages of life and it’s natural to be scared about that. The good news is that there are a lot of us here who are in that same age range and juggling the same issues. I know that I’m happy to listen any time you need an ear. I’m sure you will find a number of others here who are willing to, also. You definitely aren’t alone.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

In fact, my very first action in life was a swimming competition versus about 500M other swimmers just like me. And I won. I was literally born a winner. So the lack of competition is not okay for me.

Small point of fact. The sperm do less work in this race than then female body. And it’s quite often not the fastest sperm that “wins”

Shocking I know that dudes have been assuming credit for things they didn’t actually do for generations now. But that’s science.

https://www.livescience.com/health/sex/do-sperm-really-race-to-the-egg

 

[DannieB]

Small point of fact. The sperm do less work in this race than then female body. And it’s quite often not the fastest sperm that “wins”

Shocking I know that dudes have been assuming credit to things they didn’t actually do for generations now. But that’s science.

https://www.livescience.com/health/sex/do-sperm-really-race-to-the-egg

https://media1.giphy.com/media/qL8ZlU8tJbu2Q/giphy.gif?cid=9b38fe91bm401xv8yr3pod3rirywmhrjf084gq3yts8rb5f5&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[Endless_Night]

Yes I recommend therapy to everyone! I've had counselling and cbt before and I'm on a waiting list for EMDR therapy which sounds very interesting.

EMDR is amazing. I had a memory from decades back that recalling made my heart clench and left me struggling for breath. One session dropped it to an unpleasant memory.

Excellent stuff if it works for you.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Small point of fact. The sperm do less work in this race than then female body. And it’s quite often not the fastest sperm that “wins”

Shocking I know that dudes have been assuming credit for things they didn’t actually do for generations now. But that’s science.

https://www.livescience.com/health/sex/do-sperm-really-race-to-the-egg

Typical male behaviour right here. Now Monkey, maybe you sit back and let the lady’s uterus do all the work. But not this guy. (I’m pointing to myself)

I put my head down and I worked my way up to that egg, flapping my flagellum all the way there. And mind you, it was the longest flagellum of all the flagella. I swam by as all the others just sat there, diddling their flagella. (That’s the most I’ve ever written that word)

So while you lazy ass sperm doddled around and let the lady do all the work, I made an effort. I suspect this carries over into other areas as well.

 

[Endless_Night]

- I honestly don't trust my own thoughts. I shut down and retreat because I know I'm not seeing situations as they are but I still can't tell what they should be. I disassociate and get trapped in landmines of thoughts -

I completely get this. It happens to me with submission. Ceding control to another opens up a quagmire of emotion. I often need help to untangle. Knowing I'm not seeing situations as they are adds so much instability it's easier to shut down and retreat than deal with the other person.

I think you’re probably seeing things the wrong way, here. I doubt your friends like you because of your usefulness. It’s good to be those things, but your value as a person and a friend certainly extends beyond your utility. You have value for who you are, not what you do.

I think it's hard to understand the perspective unless you've experienced it yourself.

Whatever starts this cycle, its can be extremely difficult to break. If it starts young, it can almost . . . replace sense of self?

And as much as it seems to be all in one's head, the sad fact is that one may lose older friendships and familial relationships. People can get disgruntled when you change the status quo.