Would you go back and marry/commit to the same person?

[BDA73]

Yes I would...although I may not have the sexual adventurous spouse I would desire...she is everything to me

 

[Chilllax]

We all change over time, that's for sure. My wife and I certainly have gone through our fair share of periods of adjustment. As I look back, while it did take a lot of work, we never gave up. Maybe something to do with us being friends before getting married?
Could I have done the same with others? Maybe but chances are high that it may not have worked out. Knowing that somehow we kept it working is comforting to me

 

[firefox27eros]

Never, ever again.

 

[firefox27eros]

Never, ever again.

Since that day, unending
I see her — still pretending
I stare into the hollow skies, my home a stone heart bending
Shattered heaven falls
Twisted mirrors crawl
Fireflies are burning slow
Even pain begins to glow

I spent more than half of my life with her, so never, ever again.
I am sorry but not every story ends happy ending or last forever.
It is a hard recognition:

You don’t belong here
You’re not the one, my dear

 

[anaughtywife]

Yes without a doubt, thankfully we met young, no wasted time....

 

[Sgts19]

Met my wife through my then fuck buddy who was her roommate. Married 6 months to the day after our first date and have been married 47 years. Completely different than each other but it's the ying and yang we fit together perfect

 

[Bokster1976za]

Yeah into 23rd year of marriage, still the same love and attraction as we were before marriage. And even after 3 kids, making the time to have couple getaways.

 

[gogogirl79]

This is hard to answer.....it shouldn't be, but 8 months dating, 8 months engaged and 18 yrs later I'm still here. No kids, but that doesn't the question. Would I marry him again? Probably not. I think he is a great person, but I do feel like I am missing things. We are going through a phase at the moment or at least I am and trying to figure if I even want to be in this relationship anymore. Long story....but yeah.

 

[Chilllax]

This is hard to answer.....it shouldn't be, but 8 months dating, 8 months engaged and 18 yrs later I'm still here. No kids, but that doesn't the question. Would I marry him again? Probably not. I think he is a great person, but I do feel like I am missing things. We are going through a phase at the moment or at least I am and trying to figure if I even want to be in this relationship anymore. Long story....but yeah.

Well, here to listen if you want to share what your are feeling.

 

[ClockworkCourtesan]

No. My reasons are my own.

 

[razor33a]

Yes. Even better if I got to keep the knowledge I have now so the road bumps we encountered could be avoided.

 

[B_mossy24]

Hmmm. Well, I wouldn't want to trade in my amazing kids but if this version of me meeting him again I would not marry him. We were extremely young when we got together and were together for 12+ years, some of it was great but towards the end much of it wasn't. I would be more discerning, for sure..

 

[firefox27eros]

This is hard to answer.....it shouldn't be, but 8 months dating, 8 months engaged and 18 yrs later I'm still here. No kids, but that doesn't the question. Would I marry him again? Probably not. I think he is a great person, but I do feel like I am missing things. We are going through a phase at the moment or at least I am and trying to figure if I even want to be in this relationship anymore. Long story....but yeah.

I can hear you and understand you, but trust me, without kids to make a decision about your life much easier, less hard and complicated.
You have only one life, if you don't see any progression or chance to sort out problems just start a new life.
If you would like to talk about feel free to reaching me out in PM.

 

[Chilllax]

I can hear you and understand you, but trust me, without kids to make a decision about your life much easier, less hard and complicated.
You have only one life, if you don't see any progression or chance to sort out problems just start a new life.

100% agree. It gets exponentially complicated with kids in the picture.

 

[firefox27eros]

100% agree. It gets exponentially complicated with kids in the picture.

And you will definitely hurt that one you don't want to hurt when the shit hits the fans.

 

[BiWifeMyrtleBeach]

Absolutely I would. Not only are we sexually compatible, but also in so many other ways. We have had disagreements on varying issues but never a screaming argument nor has separating every entered our minds. We have also been there for each other through some very painful experiences, such as the loss of our parents, two siblings for him, one for me and other events. Not to mention, I landed a guy who is varied enough to be working on something mechanical or electrical in the morning, cooking in the evening and giving me screaming orgasms at night! Even after 30 years of marriage he still turns me on!

 

[QuietCummer00]

No, once something is over then is over. Done with, no pint in going back

 

[BornNorCal]

This is hard to answer.....it shouldn't be, but 8 months dating, 8 months engaged and 18 yrs later I'm still here. No kids, but that doesn't the question. Would I marry him again? Probably not. I think he is a great person, but I do feel like I am missing things. We are going through a phase at the moment or at least I am and trying to figure if I even want to be in this relationship anymore. Long story....but yeah.

I can definitely relate to this. That sort of reassessment is hard.

 

[BornNorCal]

As several others have said, children are a huge decision factor. I love my kids and can't imagine life without them. When they are all launched, I do not plan to stay.

 

[Chilllax]

Absolutely I would. Not only are we sexually compatible, but also in so many other ways. We have had disagreements on varying issues but never a screaming argument nor has separating every entered our minds. We have also been there for each other through some very painful experiences, such as the loss of our parents, two siblings for him, one for me and other events. Not to mention, I landed a guy who is varied enough to be working on something mechanical or electrical in the morning, cooking in the evening and giving me screaming orgasms at night! Even after 30 years of marriage he still turns me on!

Super happy for you guys. We all change with time so maintaining that spark, even after decades have passed, is something to be admired. Cheers to another 30!

I do wonder about how common relationships like yours are. I guess it depends on how much the two people put into it, I suppose, and with hard at it.

 

[Chilllax]

Great question and one I've thought of frequently. I think when all is said and done I would. Although we don't connect the way we once did or should I've had lots of good times and made fun memories. Some health issues for her sprang up along the way that I wouldn't have dreamt of back then but it's certainly through no fault of hers.
I keep asking, if not her...who? There isn't anyone else I've dated or been serious with that I could see working out with the knowledge I possess today. For me I think I just have to move along and if it's great then great if if it's not, make the best of it.

Very well put. I have a similar thought process as well. If not she, who and why? All said and done, I an a better person because of her and that's important to me. Sure, the sex is missing, and yes, we have grown as people but there are certain core elements we haven't changed.

And yes, the thought of the unknown is a bit daunting. How long can one keep fishing and there is no guarantee that you will end up with something better.

 

[TomnDiane]

32 years married. Wife is a stage 4 cancer patient, stable (for now). Never wanted to marry until I met her. God made it clear my life would be better with her in it than without her. So, we did. Not been an easy time, we are very different people. Yes, I would marry her again. That said, when I am alone again (and that's coming), I'll never even date. I hope none of you experience what we are going through now.

 

[GraiceeGirl]

After I divorced my first husband, I said I would never marry again. Then I met the one, but fought it, even though I was not 'in love' right away. He told me he loved me, and I told him I was 'in like' with him. He was so disappointed, and it did not take much for me to fall in love with him. We still like each other and have a heartstopping love. Times have been challenging due to his health issues. I would never leave him, and I would marry him again. He is truly my soulmate.

 

[raindancer]

NONONONONONO! Sorry, working through some stuff.

 

[Justplainjeff]

My wife and I were having a conversation about some common friends. Slowly the conversation turned to our marriage and we asked each other if, turning back time, we would pick each other again knowing what we know about each other now.
My answer was a yes (not just because I didn't want to end up in the doghouse...lol). Overall:

1. Things have happened that I did not expect: sexless marriage, a toning down of her social side and some other minor things
2. Some things have remained the same: shared values on life in general, mutual love and respect , her love for animals rubbing off on me

I have never believed in the "one, true soulmate" concept and even if there is one, I don't have the patience. I found a girl I liked, we vibes on many things and put a ring on her.

What about you? Knowing everything you know now about your partner would you change your decision if time was turned back?

Heading towards 55 years, and the answer is yes, without a doubt!