Has Submission Ever Healed You? Let’s Talk About the Soul Side of BDSM

[flameinsidesoul]

Hey beautiful kinky,

I’m curious—and opening this up to fellow submissives:

Has a BDSM experience ever healed something emotional in you or changed the way you see intimacy?
Not just pleasure, but the quiet, unexpected healing that happens when you surrender and feel truly held.

For me, there was a moment during a scene where I finally felt safe enough to fall apart. I cried—not out of pain, but release. And the way I was held, witnessed, and respected in that space… it changed everything. It taught me that submission isn’t weakness—it’s sacred strength. Sometimes it’s the place where our oldest wounds quietly melt.

Have you ever felt that?

Please share. Even a few lines. I believe these stories matter.

With curiosity,

— flameinsidesoul

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

Actually, the opposite.
It affected my experiences with submission negatively, but not all DD's can be nurturing and loving, I learned the hard way.

No more details, but that's my story.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

Hey beautiful kinky,

I’m curious—and opening this up to fellow submissives:

Has a BDSM experience ever healed something emotional in you or changed the way you see intimacy?
Not just pleasure, but the quiet, unexpected healing that happens when you surrender and feel truly held.

For me, there was a moment during a scene where I finally felt safe enough to fall apart. I cried—not out of pain, but release. And the way I was held, witnessed, and respected in that space… it changed everything. It taught me that submission isn’t weakness—it’s sacred strength. Sometimes it’s the place where our oldest wounds quietly melt.

Have you ever felt that?

Please share. Even a few lines. I believe these stories matter.

With curiosity,

— flameinsidesoul

Spent lots of time with a much younger woman and she wanted a BDSM lifestyle. We are very close and for her the kinks were in her mind the punishment she was supposed to receive for her childhood abuse she received.
Not saying this in the case for everyone but for her it was much like you the breakdown, crying and requests to please let me stay with you forever because the safety of the situation was there. She could release the feelings of guilt from her past.

All I can say for people struggling with past abuse. There are people that care enough to help you find yourself. But a HUGE word of caution you most always will fall for a narcissist. Stay the hell away from them!

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

Spent lots of time with a much younger woman and she wanted a BDSM lifestyle. We are very close and for her the kinks were in her mind the punishment she was supposed to receive for her childhood abuse she received.
Not saying this in the case for everyone but for her it was much like you the breakdown, crying and requests to please let me stay with you forever because the safety of the situation was there. She could release the feelings of guilt from her past.

All I can say for people struggling with past abuse. There are people that care enough to help you find yourself. But a HUGE word of caution you most always will fall for a narcissist. Stay the hell away from them!

Thank you for writing this...

 

[MaturemanAJ]

Thank you for writing this...

You are very welcome. I honestly was shocked at how many women started to tell me about the things that happened in their past after the first one did. It's like I had a sign on my forehead saying go ahead he is safe.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I did learn about narcissism from my experience, but it made me retreat from the DDbg lifestyle forever.
Being a child of abuse myself, (my DD never knew) I felt I deserved being called derogatory names and treatment.

My healing came from the relationship/friendship that followed that dynamic.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

I did learn about narcissism from my experience, but it made me retreat from the DDbg lifestyle forever.
Being a child of abuse myself, (my DD never knew) I felt I deserved being called derogatory names and treatment.

My healing came from the relationship/friendship that followed that dynamic.

I am so happy to hear you figured it out and found the right person to help you.
It's just sad how many people who have been abused, I will never understand how someone can hurt a child

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

@flameinsidesoul

This really is a great topic!!

 

[Boat1]

Hey beautiful kinky,

I’m curious—and opening this up to fellow submissives:

Has a BDSM experience ever healed something emotional in you or changed the way you see intimacy?
Not just pleasure, but the quiet, unexpected healing that happens when you surrender and feel truly held.

For me, there was a moment during a scene where I finally felt safe enough to fall apart. I cried—not out of pain, but release. And the way I was held, witnessed, and respected in that space… it changed everything. It taught me that submission isn’t weakness—it’s sacred strength. Sometimes it’s the place where our oldest wounds quietly melt.

Have you ever felt that?

Please share. Even a few lines. I believe these stories matter.

With curiosity,

— flameinsidesoul

That's absolutely awesome!

It's been very healing for me!
It may sound odd to call 'total submission" empowering, but having given myself COMPLETELY, 100% to my Lovely Wife Domme... doing so willingly, consciously and being fully accepted by Her for what I truly am, is without doubt, the most beautiful place I've ever been in my entire life!

 

[Hmmmmaybe]

I don’t know if this is the type of reply you are looking for, since all I’ve done is explore some mdom audios, but somehow giving up control to that faceless person giving me orders really broke down and freed something in me.

I’ve never been able allow myself to feel real self pleasure, and I’ve never squirted before. Listening to a very specific set of instructions on this site got me to. I was so proud of it... and of being called good girl.

Probably something to do with years and years of catholic guilt, which is still there. I might even post in personals here to talk to new friends about it.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

Actually, the opposite.
It affected my experiences with submission negatively, but not all DD's can be nurturing and loving, I learned the hard way.

No more details, but that's my story.

Thank you for sharing—even that much takes strength.

I hear the weight in your words, and I respect your boundary completely. Not all Dominants are deserving of surrender. Some misuse power. And those scars can run deep… especially when trust was real.

I won’t ask for details. But if you ever feel safe enough to share more—or simply want to be heard without judgment—I’ll hold that space for you.

You’re still here. That, in itself, is powerful.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

Spent lots of time with a much younger woman and she wanted a BDSM lifestyle. We are very close and for her the kinks were in her mind the punishment she was supposed to receive for her childhood abuse she received.
Not saying this in the case for everyone but for her it was much like you the breakdown, crying and requests to please let me stay with you forever because the safety of the situation was there. She could release the feelings of guilt from her past.

All I can say for people struggling with past abuse. There are people that care enough to help you find yourself. But a HUGE word of caution you most always will fall for a narcissist. Stay the hell away from them!

It’s incredibly moving how you held space for her, not just sexually, but emotionally. That kind of surrender—where someone feels safe enough to fall apart and still be held—is rare. Sacred, even.

You’re right: for some, the kink is layered with past pain. And when it’s handled with presence, it becomes something transformative. But when it’s mishandled—especially by those who chase power for ego’s sake—it can do more harm than healing.

That warning about narcissists? Vital. Especially for those who crave surrender… because the wrong Dominant can wear the right mask.

Thank you for showing what it looks like when care, not control, leads.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

That's absolutely awesome!

It's been very healing for me!
It may sound odd to call 'total submission" empowering, but having given myself COMPLETELY, 100% to my Lovely Wife Domme... doing so willingly, consciously and being fully accepted by Her for what I truly am, is without doubt, the most beautiful place I've ever been in my entire life!

You’re right… it doesn’t sound odd at all. In fact, it’s one of the paradoxes I find most powerful in BDSM: that full submission, when freely given, creates a kind of liberation nothing else can match. And to be fully seen, accepted, and claimed in that space? That’s rare. That’s sacred.

Your devotion to your Wife Domme is moving—it sounds like you’ve found the kind of dynamic most people only dream of.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

I don’t know if this is the type of reply you are looking for, since all I’ve done is explore some mdom audios, but somehow giving up control to that faceless person giving me orders really broke down and freed something in me.

I’ve never been able allow myself to feel real self pleasure, and I’ve never squirted before. Listening to a very specific set of instructions on this site got me to. I was so proud of it... and of being called good girl.

Probably something to do with years and years of catholic guilt, which is still there. I might even post in personals here to talk to new friends about it.

There’s something so powerful about being able to surrender—even to a faceless voice—when that surrender awakens something you’ve never touched before. The first time you feel your body respond in a way it never has… it’s not just erotic—it’s liberating. And being called good girl in that moment? That kind of affirmation sinks deep.

Catholic guilt is real. It leaves fingerprints on how we process pleasure, control, even self-worth. But the fact that you broke through, even just once—that’s not small. That’s huge.

 

[calmlikeabomb]

An ex sub of mine used BDSM for a cathartic release. She had a stressful job and there were issues with her family, so BDSM was a way for her to leave her labels aside and just be.

She had body image issues as well, and she liked me "dirtying" her up and showing her how beautiful she looked.

We would speak about this often after our sessions, and she often said how she feels like she has been built back up. She also wasn't as interested in the sex as she was in the humiliation, because having to wear make up, especially loud make up almost all the time was draining her.

I don't know if this fits the bill, but reading the post was a good reminder of how BDSM, when done well, can be really healthy.

 

[flameinsidesoul]

An ex sub of mine used BDSM for a cathartic release. She had a stressful job and there were issues with her family, so BDSM was a way for her to leave her labels aside and just be.

She had body image issues as well, and she liked me "dirtying" her up and showing her how beautiful she looked.

We would speak about this often after our sessions, and she often said how she feels like she has been built back up. She also wasn't as interested in the sex as she was in the humiliation, because having to wear make up, especially loud make up almost all the time was draining her.

I don't know if this fits the bill, but reading the post was a good reminder of how BDSM, when done well, can be really healthy.

There’s something sacred in helping someone shed their labels, their masks, and just… exist. To be seen, dirty and divine, vulnerable and powerful all at once.

The fact that she craved humiliation more than sex? That speaks volumes. You didn’t just give her permission to fall apart—you held her while she rebuilt.

Makeup, expectations, control—it’s amazing how many subs ache to be unpolished, raw, un-pretty, and still utterly desirable. What you gave her wasn’t just Domination. It was restoration.

You clearly guided with presence and care.
And yeah… this kind of BDSM? It’s not just healthy.
It’s transformational.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

Jus

It’s incredibly moving how you held space for her, not just sexually, but emotionally. That kind of surrender—where someone feels safe enough to fall apart and still be held—is rare. Sacred, even.

You’re right: for some, the kink is layered with past pain. And when it’s handled with presence, it becomes something transformative. But when it’s mishandled—especially by those who chase power for ego’s sake—it can do more harm than healing.

That warning about narcissists? Vital. Especially for those who crave surrender… because the wrong Dominant can wear the right mask.

Thank you for showing what it looks like when care, not control, leads.

Just a word of caution for people that get involved with a person that needs you like this. It comes with great personal sacrifice and after she told me about what happened I swore I didn't care what happened to me I wanted her and her children to be ok.
Being an empath makes it difficult to shield yourself from taking on everything that person or people around you are putting off. The negative energy is overwhelming and can spiral you also.
Give yourself plenty of self love and space to keep you healthy mind, body and soul. I didn't do that part very well

 

[Erosfan]

That's absolutely awesome!

It's been very healing for me!
It may sound odd to call 'total submission" empowering, but having given myself COMPLETELY, 100% to my Lovely Wife Domme... doing so willingly, consciously and being fully accepted by Her for what I truly am, is without doubt, the most beautiful place I've ever been in my entire life!

I'm with you here.
After failing, miserably, to come out with my desire to be in a CFNM kind of relationship, I felt lost. I had nowhere to go to explore my desires/feelings. I was told I was a sick pervert, by my first wife when I tried to explain my interests to her. After our divorce, I had some mild success in that, I learned that women actually liked sex. I was too reserved to express too much of what I wanted for fear of rejection. I was able to explore some of my exhibitionist tendencies with a couple of girlfriends, but again, I was very cautious.
Then, I met my now late wife. She was keen to listen and even dig, to get me to open up to her about all that I desired. She was a bit timid at first, but, being a very sexual creature, she urged me to share my thoughts and desires. She was never critical and she even worked with me to make many of my fantasies come true. I wanted her to be in control in our sex lives, and we had hours of discussions about this.
She wasn't into femdom, but she became pretty good at gentle femdom. She led me, and let me be me. She never got into letting any of her friends see this side of our lives.
Early in our open discussions, she told me "you are going to be so naked, so much of the time." I was hers and she knew it.
She made me realize that I was quite normal, and there was nothing wrong with me. That was very healing for me.

 

[Boat1]

I'm with you here.
After failing, miserably, to come out with my desire to be in a CFNM kind of relationship, I felt lost. I had nowhere to go to explore my desires/feelings. I was told I was a sick pervert, by my first wife when I tried to explain my interests to her. After our divorce, I had some mild success in that, I learned that women actually liked sex. I was too reserved to express too much of what I wanted for fear of rejection. I was able to explore some of my exhibitionist tendencies with a couple of girlfriends, but again, I was very cautious.
Then, I met my now late wife. She was keen to listen and even dig, to get me to open up to her about all that I desired. She was a bit timid at first, but, being a very sexual creature, she urged me to share my thoughts and desires. She was never critical and she even worked with me to make many of my fantasies come true. I wanted her to be in control in our sex lives, and we had hours of discussions about this.
She wasn't into femdom, but she became pretty good at gentle femdom. She led me, and let me be me. She never got into letting any of her friends see this side of our lives.
Early in our open discussions, she told me "you are going to be so naked, so much of the time." I was hers and she knew it.
She made me realize that I was quite normal, and there was nothing wrong with me. That was very healing for me.

OMG that's soooo beautiful!
I can't tell you how grateful I am that you BOTH got to experience that with each other... tons of respect for for BOTH OF YOU!!!

 

[Xenaqueen]

Hey beautiful kinky,

I’m curious—and opening this up to fellow submissives:

Has a BDSM experience ever healed something emotional in you or changed the way you see intimacy?
Not just pleasure, but the quiet, unexpected healing that happens when you surrender and feel truly held.

For me, there was a moment during a scene where I finally felt safe enough to fall apart. I cried—not out of pain, but release. And the way I was held, witnessed, and respected in that space… it changed everything. It taught me that submission isn’t weakness—it’s sacred strength. Sometimes it’s the place where our oldest wounds quietly melt.

Have you ever felt that?

Please share. Even a few lines. I believe these stories matter.

With curiosity,

— flameinsidesoul

Thank you for this wonderful topic. As a submissive, I get the the "subspace" feeling, and surrendering totally. It is a feeling of who I truly am. It is very hard to describe. I don't think about the past, or the future. Just now in the moment.

 

[DpropertyofR]

Hey beautiful kinky,

I’m curious—and opening this up to fellow submissives:

Has a BDSM experience ever healed something emotional in you or changed the way you see intimacy?
Not just pleasure, but the quiet, unexpected healing that happens when you surrender and feel truly held.

For me, there was a moment during a scene where I finally felt safe enough to fall apart. I cried—not out of pain, but release. And the way I was held, witnessed, and respected in that space… it changed everything. It taught me that submission isn’t weakness—it’s sacred strength. Sometimes it’s the place where our oldest wounds quietly melt.

Have you ever felt that?

Please share. Even a few lines. I believe these stories matter.

With curiosity,

— flameinsidesoul

I have a similar experience. I have always been one of those very controlled type of individuals. I tried to maintain control over every aspect of my life as much as possible. I didn’t like situations that were beyond my control. I rarely showed vulnerability and rarely cried. But something inside me yearned just to let go. I fantasized about being a slave for years. I probably read Story of O 100+ times. I met my Master almost by chance at a time when I was feeling lonely and deprived of intimacy. During our first sessions, I felt a degree of letting go, but I don’t believe I really gave in until a few months into our relationship. After a session, I just broke down completely and cried uncontrollably for at least 15 minutes. My Master comforted me, and it was just the most amazing feeling in the world. After that, I was never afraid to be out of control or vulnerable. I feel so much freer as his slave than I ever did in my previous life.

 

[cascadiabound]

Discovering and leaning into my needs as a submissive woman has been healing for me. Many years ago I was sexually violated very violently by a group of men. It was early in my adulthood and it made me afraid of being out of control. It made me timid about my needs. I had a very loving partner at the time who helped me through it, but things we had played around with (bondage, adventurous sex, erotic play, exposure etc) all went out the window in favor of careful sweet, nurturing intimacy.

When I came to understand that I have very kinky/BDSM needs and urges and started to explore them I both resented having that stolen from me by those who hurt me and then slowly healed by reclaiming what I want and need which included embracing my nature as a kinky submissive girl. The more I lean into what really gets me going, and submit to his loving control (even when that includes mind fuck, pain, denial, humiliation and more) the more I feel empowered by my own sense of sexuality and what I need and deserve and can revel in all that I am, as my D gives me control and allows me to lean into him and that he will take care of me from lap time, to tasks and rules, to denial and funishment, pain and humiliation. The more control he exerts the more free and the more happy I feel.

 

[AprilTwenties]

With my owner, I find that I have some worth, boo. Before that, I was the adopted child of a family that thought that they couldn't have a child....and then, they conceived. I could never shake that feeling that their biological child was their love and me, just an afterthought. Second best, y'know?

My owner pimps me out and I am made to feel wanted. She does show me love and respect. It's in a different type of way, but it is meant and she looks after me well.

Without this lifestyle I wouldn't have the confidence that I do have, boo.

A x

 

[EdgySubMic]

This thread asks two different questions that in my case have two different answers.

1) Has Submission Ever Healed You?

It absolutely has, but in a way that a typical Lit reader might not expect at first.​

​

Decades ago, I was an overworked software geek/nerd, feeling misunderstood and underappreciated by those I worked with/for. They were all very nice and intelligent people (almost all being engineering PhD material) and a few I still count among my friends, but they did not understand software or what I was hired to – and passionately/desperately trying to – do to support their research. I ended up getting depressed and eventually even physically ill.​

​

Then, I met a newly hired PhD candidate who was different. Judging by his background, he was “just like the others”, but, in stark contrast, he truly understood me and what I was trying to do. Needless to say, that a very close friendship quickly developed, and that he literally pulled me out of my depression. Sort of a first stage of healing at the physical/mental health level.​

​

Initially, I acted as an informal software mentor to him, but I realized very quickly that he was going to outclass me in my own field. In no time, we were both frustrated with our environment, but now had each other to fall back on. So, one day, I told him that helping him had become the only purpose in my professional life. That was a much more intense emotional healing and I still vividly remember the exact date and how that day went.​

​

One thing led to another and full submission eventually ensued, once I had finally understood and acknowledged the submissive nature that has always been mine – provided that I consider the one that I submit too worthy of it, that is. Hence, I felt that I “had reached home”. Call it a power healing on steroids. I’ve never looked back or elsewhere since, even if our professional ways did separate 10 years later for reasons outside our control. No problem there, as he's long past needing my professional engineering help and we now have a much deeper bond than work. He remains my North Star to this day.​

​

2) Has a BDSM experience ever healed something emotional in you or changed the way you see intimacy?

Not really, because all the healing occurred before the (non-self) BDSM did. But BDSM remains a fantastic way for me to keep in touch with my soul. It also keeps me on track with regard to always putting my owner’s needs and wellbeing first.​

 

[RandomiaFaR]

I can't tell about my experience, but...

Here's a story:

"I've started to get problems with reaching orgasm a few years ago. It was never a thing for me before, but at some point my cunt began to fail me... I mean, not just Her... the whole body. It was all fine before. Maybe I've got to much trauma, too much stress. For a while it was just like gone. I had been unable to came. Then I found myself aroused with weird fantasies... Then I started to slap myself when I masturbated (my hips, my ass, my breasts, my cheeks... quite hard sometimes). I bought a nipple clams toy. Sometimes I used on my clit. Also I called myself dirty words and moaned so loud that neightboor could hear. And got even further. I sticked a suction cup dildo on a windowsill. So I did it with myself. I humped a dildo in front of anyone to see... potentially. I didn't dare to do it in broad daylight when people were around. But I did it in the early morning. There was a few occasions when I sticked my dildo to a window itself. Moved some furniture so that I could hold on being backwards in doggy-like position. I still don't know if anybody saw me. Maybe some early risers did. And this gave me the thrill. I lived on the first floor, so people could've notice my activity. Also I watched without headphones and with sound made way too loud intentionally.
Anyways, all those things combined... They somehow... like accumalated. I started to get released. Not just because of some thing I did per se, but more because of shame I gathered. Of self-humiliation. I dont know how to talk about it... What I managed to get to were not orgasms. I mean, they were technically. But they became a pale shadow of what I used to feel before it all began. Sometimes I thought of myself as being Hades. How to explain it?.. All this hyperstimulation that started to be needed led me nowhere. It was meant to convince myself that i'm a dirty slut, a filthy bitch, a whore... Then I could come to a point... and overcome it. And to feel this blink of a shadow of plesure for a moment (maybe a few: I taught myself to do it multiple times in a row. Usually the second one was the most fulfilling. I mean, if this wotd even could be applied here). I felt like filth, like dirt. I intentionally pushed myself to that in order to get those releases. Some part of me was telling that I need to be like that to deserve my punishment. A few seconds of guilty pleasure. Indeed, it actually was a punishment. I felt emtined after I reached the goal. And I felt so worthless... All this humiliation... for what? Why even need to humiliate at all no matter how much I'll gain from that?.. But I knew I'll be doing this again. And that maybe I'll go even deeper in this darkness to get those tiny bits... Not even a small temporary relese, but... something less than that.
Of course, that's not all. At first I tried to find partners. I had something that could be called sex by some with them. But it gave me even less pleasure than my perverted masturbatory acts. I tried to find those who'd be rude to me, who'd humiliate me, who'd use me as a hole to stick their dick in and nothing more. And I provoked such an attide in them. Although I very rearly had my weak pale realease with them, I used memories of them fucking me and treating me like shit to get a release on my own later. I stopped that "dating" soon after I started. It turned out, there were not so much bad guys who'd treat me the way I wanted. Not to much girks either. And I didn't know how to be with more decent ones... Self-trashing is one thing. But I didn't want take away others' innosence, others' dignity... or what's left of it. I felt that this is what I'm doing when I got intimate with them. Then, there was something else. I got a sickening feeling when I was with someone who I comprehended as somewhat good cause they reminded me of who I becanme... I mean, I knew that, but it's not the same thing when you see your reflection in the eyes of the other... mixed with compassion. Or at least pity. Disgust was more tolerable... even wishful many times - again, not per se, but to save it for later for my resemblense of pleasure.
Now, don't get me wrong.
I feel like I was splitted.
I haven't said what it was like before. I still remember and trying to hold on those memories. Not all, but many things I started to find guilty filthy bits of pleasure in... I percieved them not in such a way at all. I enjoyed (I mean, trully enjoyed) exhibitionism, thressomes, even group sex... A lot of kinky stuff. Kinky. Yeah, that's the right word. But at some point "kinky" became "filthy". And I added some stuff that's not objectively (at least, as far as I can see it) right.
So, what I still do remember? I remember Pleasure. Real pleasure, wholesome pleasure. I could like swim - or just lay on my back and relax - in it. I could dance with it... You know what I mean? I could drive and could be driven, giving out myself to everything and everyone... And there was so much in it... The whole word. Such a specrum of emotions... I felt Joy, I felt Pleasure, Happiness, Delight, Beauty, Openness, Closeness, Mistery... A lot of stuff. And sexual pleasure... It had some many overtones... And I had experience it in different places. Even in my face. And outside the body..And no orgasms were needed for this. Of course, I got them too from time to time. And their were so deep, so overwhelmingly embracing...
How could it all be reduced to that what I became? Inflicting pain on myself - physically and emotionally to feel myself alive, to feel something in my cunt for a brief moment (or moments, if I'm "lucky").
You know, it's kinda like with dirty shadowy orgasm moments. I mean, I used to gather all these low (or ones that I started to percieve as low) stuff to splash it in then in a short flash... Or actually out?.. Not in a physical sense. I used to have squirts and I sprang a lot... And I have that feeling of Eternal Spring both outside and inside... But I digress. What I wanted to say is there's some corresponce, it seems. Between at where I got and what happened before. There were a lot of good things in my life, but they were possible partially because I was open, was vulnerable - and hence subjected myself to a lot of traumatizing stuff. So you see a parallel. Those traumas accumulated and at some point lead me to this state when it's only possible to orgasm (if it can be called orgasm) by accumulating some traumatic things - some of which some part of me was making traumatic on intent, so that I could get this release. But there's no release or relief actually. Fucking carrot on a stick... What relief what I (or, again, at least a part of me) was seeking for? Eternal relief? Eternal rest?..
I guess, they called an orgasm a "petite mort" for a reason. Those who haven't that the happy experience I had before it happened to me or those who had, but forgot it do not know any better. The orgasm should feel like getting in touch with a Source of Life itself, not the other way around. And this Source is NOT some "god creator" or something like that. It's everpulsating evercumming, ever-giving-birth Yoni which is our Universe. So what will you chose - Eros or Thanatos? Life or Death? I might sound naive at the beginning of my story, but I know stuff. This is how things are: many are deceived. They seek "Light" in "Darkness". They made to belief that Darkness is necessary for the Light make sense or even to exist... And that makes them believe in some diety that is both Good and Evil at the same time. Both rewarding and punishing - for disobidience. But it you'll accept this faith (or its byproducts, so to speak), you'll get your punishment no matter what you do. And very little - if any - pleasure. Reminds you of somehing? About abusive parenting maybe? And it's replicated everywhere. How about Netfix serials? Don't you get it? It's in the name? "Net"="web" + "flick". Isn't that a kind of BDSM porn? A series of light strickes... while you in the web. Do you want to be a firefly flying on the light/fire to burn to death? Or just a fly caught in a spider's web, lead to a letargic state by poison and, in that clouded-minded state, waiting for a spider's next thrilling touch - who'll touch it only to check if it's ready for consumption? And at some point it will be..."

And I tend to agree. What really will melt? Your wounds or you yourself?
I think some wounds might be healed using _some_ BDSM practices in _some_ people. If taken in a small dose and for a short period of time. But I believe that there are better ways.

Hell, you're writting literally that. "finally felt safe enough to fall apart", "I cried—not out of pain, but release". And even your nickname is telling. What do you expect? That you'll be built from the scratch somehow with no effort from your side?

"submission isn’t weakness—it’s sacred strength"
Haven't we heard something similar already?
"War Is Peace. Freedom Is Slavery. Ignorance Is Strength." (c) Orwell.

Hey beautiful kinky,

I’m curious—and opening this up to fellow submissives:

Has a BDSM experience ever healed something emotional in you or changed the way you see intimacy?
Not just pleasure, but the quiet, unexpected healing that happens when you surrender and feel truly held.

For me, there was a moment during a scene where I finally felt safe enough to fall apart. I cried—not out of pain, but release. And the way I was held, witnessed, and respected in that space… it changed everything. It taught me that submission isn’t weakness—it’s sacred strength. Sometimes it’s the place where our oldest wounds quietly melt.

Have you ever felt that?

Please share. Even a few lines. I believe these stories matter.

With curiosity,

— flameinsidesoul