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Sex & Shenanigans

MrMakersMark said:
Stories, huh?
Well my journeys have taken me far down Life's left-hand path.

I stood at the edge of the forest, my eyes narrowed against the chill wind as I gripped my battle axe, its weight familiar in my hands. Beside me, scurrying around my feet with surprising agility, was my unlikely companion: a squirrel in a blue shirt and khaki pants. I raised an eyebrow at him. He didn’t look like much of a warrior, but he had brought us coffee in a tiny thermos—though, apparently, he’d forgotten his camera again, which was a damn shame since we were hunting the most dangerous creature in these woods: a succubus. “You’re sure this plan will work?” I muttered, glancing down at him. He nodded, adjusting his tiny shirt with a grunt. I wasn’t sure what his plan was, but the coffee was good.

The succubus found us soon enough, her dark, seductive eyes locking onto mine as she stepped out from the shadows of the trees, her voice soft as silk and full of promises. I could feel the heat radiating from her, the temptation almost irresistible, but I had something she didn’t count on—stubbornness. As she moved toward me, I gripped my axe tighter, knowing what had to be done. I could feel her power beginning to weave around me, but then, I saw the squirrel—my squirrel—standing on a rock with the thermos in hand, waiting. "What are you waiting for?" I barked, trying to stay focused. "We’ve got a succubus to kill!" He just smiled, holding out the coffee.

The fight, such as it was, didn’t last long. The succubus was as powerful as legends claimed, but she couldn’t withstand the force of my will. Soon, I found myself in the throes of passion, her seductive power not taking hold the way it should. She weakened as I resisted, my own strength and determination overpowering her magic. Finally, as the sun began to rise, she shriveled, her seductive energy draining from her, her form collapsing into nothingness. I stood, panting, my heart racing—not from lust, but from the sheer victory of it all. The squirrel clapped his tiny hands, pleased with himself, though he still looked frustrated about the camera. "Well, I can’t exactly take a picture of that," he muttered, sipping his coffee.
Click to expand...
The axe in this story is your dick, right?
 
MrMakersMark said:
Stories, huh?
Well my journeys have taken me far down Life's left-hand path.

I stood at the edge of the forest, my eyes narrowed against the chill wind as I gripped my battle axe, its weight familiar in my hands. Beside me, scurrying around my feet with surprising agility, was my unlikely companion: a squirrel in a blue shirt and khaki pants. I raised an eyebrow at him. He didn’t look like much of a warrior, but he had brought us coffee in a tiny thermos—though, apparently, he’d forgotten his camera again, which was a damn shame since we were hunting the most dangerous creature in these woods: a succubus. “You’re sure this plan will work?” I muttered, glancing down at him. He nodded, adjusting his tiny shirt with a grunt. I wasn’t sure what his plan was, but the coffee was good.

The succubus found us soon enough, her dark, seductive eyes locking onto mine as she stepped out from the shadows of the trees, her voice soft as silk and full of promises. I could feel the heat radiating from her, the temptation almost irresistible, but I had something she didn’t count on—stubbornness. As she moved toward me, I gripped my axe tighter, knowing what had to be done. I could feel her power beginning to weave around me, but then, I saw the squirrel—my squirrel—standing on a rock with the thermos in hand, waiting. "What are you waiting for?" I barked, trying to stay focused. "We’ve got a succubus to kill!" He just smiled, holding out the coffee.

The fight, such as it was, didn’t last long. The succubus was as powerful as legends claimed, but she couldn’t withstand the force of my will. Soon, I found myself in the throes of passion, her seductive power not taking hold the way it should. She weakened as I resisted, my own strength and determination overpowering her magic. Finally, as the sun began to rise, she shriveled, her seductive energy draining from her, her form collapsing into nothingness. I stood, panting, my heart racing—not from lust, but from the sheer victory of it all. The squirrel clapped his tiny hands, pleased with himself, though he still looked frustrated about the camera. "Well, I can’t exactly take a picture of that," he muttered, sipping his coffee.
Click to expand...
This is about a dude who used a squirrel plushy as a masturbation device and then nutted not long after starting, right?
 
MrMakersMark said:
Stories, huh?
Well my journeys have taken me far down Life's left-hand path.

I stood at the edge of the forest, my eyes narrowed against the chill wind as I gripped my battle axe, its weight familiar in my hands. Beside me, scurrying around my feet with surprising agility, was my unlikely companion: a squirrel in a blue shirt and khaki pants. I raised an eyebrow at him. He didn’t look like much of a warrior, but he had brought us coffee in a tiny thermos—though, apparently, he’d forgotten his camera again, which was a damn shame since we were hunting the most dangerous creature in these woods: a succubus. “You’re sure this plan will work?” I muttered, glancing down at him. He nodded, adjusting his tiny shirt with a grunt. I wasn’t sure what his plan was, but the coffee was good.

The succubus found us soon enough, her dark, seductive eyes locking onto mine as she stepped out from the shadows of the trees, her voice soft as silk and full of promises. I could feel the heat radiating from her, the temptation almost irresistible, but I had something she didn’t count on—stubbornness. As she moved toward me, I gripped my axe tighter, knowing what had to be done. I could feel her power beginning to weave around me, but then, I saw the squirrel—my squirrel—standing on a rock with the thermos in hand, waiting. "What are you waiting for?" I barked, trying to stay focused. "We’ve got a succubus to kill!" He just smiled, holding out the coffee.

The fight, such as it was, didn’t last long. The succubus was as powerful as legends claimed, but she couldn’t withstand the force of my will. Soon, I found myself in the throes of passion, her seductive power not taking hold the way it should. She weakened as I resisted, my own strength and determination overpowering her magic. Finally, as the sun began to rise, she shriveled, her seductive energy draining from her, her form collapsing into nothingness. I stood, panting, my heart racing—not from lust, but from the sheer victory of it all. The squirrel clapped his tiny hands, pleased with himself, though he still looked frustrated about the camera. "Well, I can’t exactly take a picture of that," he muttered, sipping his coffee.
Click to expand...
You forgot to roll for initiative... is the DM just making up combat order on the fly?? I CALL SHENANIGANS!
 
MrMakersMark said:
Stories, huh?
Well my journeys have taken me far down Life's left-hand path.

I stood at the edge of the forest, my eyes narrowed against the chill wind as I gripped my battle axe, its weight familiar in my hands. Beside me, scurrying around my feet with surprising agility, was my unlikely companion: a squirrel in a blue shirt and khaki pants. I raised an eyebrow at him. He didn’t look like much of a warrior, but he had brought us coffee in a tiny thermos—though, apparently, he’d forgotten his camera again, which was a damn shame since we were hunting the most dangerous creature in these woods: a succubus. “You’re sure this plan will work?” I muttered, glancing down at him. He nodded, adjusting his tiny shirt with a grunt. I wasn’t sure what his plan was, but the coffee was good.

The succubus found us soon enough, her dark, seductive eyes locking onto mine as she stepped out from the shadows of the trees, her voice soft as silk and full of promises. I could feel the heat radiating from her, the temptation almost irresistible, but I had something she didn’t count on—stubbornness. As she moved toward me, I gripped my axe tighter, knowing what had to be done. I could feel her power beginning to weave around me, but then, I saw the squirrel—my squirrel—standing on a rock with the thermos in hand, waiting. "What are you waiting for?" I barked, trying to stay focused. "We’ve got a succubus to kill!" He just smiled, holding out the coffee.

The fight, such as it was, didn’t last long. The succubus was as powerful as legends claimed, but she couldn’t withstand the force of my will. Soon, I found myself in the throes of passion, her seductive power not taking hold the way it should. She weakened as I resisted, my own strength and determination overpowering her magic. Finally, as the sun began to rise, she shriveled, her seductive energy draining from her, her form collapsing into nothingness. I stood, panting, my heart racing—not from lust, but from the sheer victory of it all. The squirrel clapped his tiny hands, pleased with himself, though he still looked frustrated about the camera. "Well, I can’t exactly take a picture of that," he muttered, sipping his coffee.
Click to expand...
Then the squirrel began to sing, in a surprisingly strong baritone...

"Throw a bone to your MrMakersMark,
Oh Sex and Shenanigans.
Throw a bone to your MrMakersMark,
A friend of humanity..."
 
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