RobDownSouth
No Kings
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2002
- Posts
- 77,673
American Immigration Gestapo "ICE" issued an emergency communication to all field agents today to TURN OFF ALL BODY CAMERAS AND KEEP THEM OFF UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
ICE agents had been required to wear body cameras since May 2024. Morale has plummeted at ICE as a result, agents could no longer routinely abuse detainees without potential consequence.
Yesterday morning, some basement dweller on the popular "hate site" called Reddit.com announced he had made an extension to the F-Droid electronic "communication sniffer" app (only available on Android phones) that will analyze Bluetooth chatter and alert you if anyone wearing a bodycam is within bluetooth range of you.
ICE panicked, declared the decline of fucking American civilization was nigh, operational security for ICE had been "severely compromised" because anyone using this app would have a massive "100 yard headstart" to flee from agents.
Yes, ICE seems to think that Bluetooth range extends the entire length of a football field.
Maybe in theory, but has anyone ever gotten ANY Bluetooth device to extend beyond, say, 30 feet?
Nevertheless, ICE now had the cover story it had so desperately prayed to Republican Jesus for. They're gonna get to the bottom of this...someday.
In the interim, we'll just hmmmmm keep those body cameras off to make sure our beloved ICE agents are "safe".
Nothing to see here, citizen, absolutely nothing at all. Literally. Move along!
ICE agents had been required to wear body cameras since May 2024. Morale has plummeted at ICE as a result, agents could no longer routinely abuse detainees without potential consequence.
Yesterday morning, some basement dweller on the popular "hate site" called Reddit.com announced he had made an extension to the F-Droid electronic "communication sniffer" app (only available on Android phones) that will analyze Bluetooth chatter and alert you if anyone wearing a bodycam is within bluetooth range of you.
ICE panicked, declared the decline of fucking American civilization was nigh, operational security for ICE had been "severely compromised" because anyone using this app would have a massive "100 yard headstart" to flee from agents.
Yes, ICE seems to think that Bluetooth range extends the entire length of a football field.
Maybe in theory, but has anyone ever gotten ANY Bluetooth device to extend beyond, say, 30 feet?
Nevertheless, ICE now had the cover story it had so desperately prayed to Republican Jesus for. They're gonna get to the bottom of this...someday.
In the interim, we'll just hmmmmm keep those body cameras off to make sure our beloved ICE agents are "safe".
Nothing to see here, citizen, absolutely nothing at all. Literally. Move along!