What do all of you in sexless marriages do for sex?

[Topher1972]

I don't condemn you at all. I admire you.

Thanks!

 

[LMWM321]

So I don't know if you mean "different" because you think asexuals don't marry, or, if you think someone married to an asexual is in a different situation than someone who is married to someone who doesn't want sex for some other reason.

I don't really see them as different. One person wants sex, the other person doesn't, it sucks either way.

Well said Britva415.

When people marry they are presumably sexually compatible. If they are both asexual (little or no interest in sex) then that's great - no problem. But if they both enjoy and desire sex initially but then one loses interest - for whatever reason. Ugh...

I think for many women it's the arrival of menopause that ushers in a significant drop in their interest in sex. And I think in a lot of cases it's because their husband doesn't adapt and adjust his expectations and approach to sex. ..So what once might have been pleasurable for his wife becomes uncomfortable, maybe even painful.. And rather than work toward a better way to enjoy post-menopausal sex, sexual frustration and resentments builds to a point to where the wife says, "enough! I'm done with sex!"

I remember when my wife struggled with a plummeting libido. I had the brilliant idea of sharing a porno clip with her. I thought that seeing hot young guys with gorgeous cocks might rekindle the horniness in her. As she watched the group sex scene (two guys, two women) her eyes filled with tears and she looked at me and said, "Why would watching a bunch of hot, tight-bodied twenty-somethings who are orgasming at the drop of a hat do ANYTHING but make me feel worse about my body and my struggle to enjoy any kind of sexual stimulation?"

Ugh... I was such an idiot. She wasn't really mad, but I clearly missed the mark with that one...

 

[bobb_sledd]

I pay for it elsewhere. I always have. It started in our first year of marriage (we're pushing 40 years). My wife was not into giving blow jobs, but it was something I enjoyed. She had no problem with me going out and paying to get my cock sucked. Paying for the service was better than seeking it without pay - less chance a relationship could form. We used the same logic when I traveled; paying to be satisfied was okay, striking up a friendship that could turn into a relationship was ill-advised.

 

[Mittering]

Honestly, we haven't had sex in 9 years. I lust after her daily. Lit and porn are substitutes but all I do is put us in those fantasy situations and it honestly makes the longing worse.
I would like it if a she would talk to someone to either get perspective or be told the gods honest truth about how this is going to end. Either from a professional or a woman who knows and wants to help.
Women are oblivious or dismissive of how men bond. It's different than women and good loving men bend over backwards to accommodate a woman's relationship desires. Women towards men, not so much.

 

[wouldloveto]

I pay for it elsewhere. I always have. It started in our first year of marriage (we're pushing 40 years). My wife was not into giving blow jobs, but it was something I enjoyed. She had no problem with me going out and paying to get my cock sucked. Paying for the service was better than seeking it without pay - less chance a relationship could form. We used the same logic when I traveled; paying to be satisfied was okay, striking up a friendship that could turn into a relationship was ill-advised.

And why would a society make this sort of transaction illegal? I think if I could find the right transactional arrangement that was safe from getting in trouble with the law it would would be a win-win for everyone.

 

[PMarky2]

Wank a lot, and try to stay sane.

 

[BookishBabe0]

I left. I'm not one of those who thought they could go the long haul knowing my husband thought I was a pos. If you think your partner is a pos, have the balls to leave.

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

I’m guessing Rosie palm and her 5 sisters?

 

[PMarky2]

I left. I'm not one of those who thought they could go the long haul knowing my husband thought I was a pos. If you think your partner is a pos, have the balls to leave.

To be honest, if my wife was just being an asshole and not ill, I would have left ages ages ago. At least I have the comfort of knowing 'she would if she could,' but that does not do anything to assuage my rampant horniness. The only thing that has saved me from doing something really stupid is that I have to intellectually 'click' with a women before I will bed her. There are not that many women I have that sort of friendship with, but the handful that elicit that response from me are a problem because it makes their company a painful pleasure.

 

[TemptationTango]

Things only a FWB can provide us trapped souls:

Skin to skin touch
Smell, taste, and texture
A tongue down your throat/cock/pussy
Bites and nibbles
Well earned sweat/heat of passion
Goose bumps
The contractioms of anothers orgasm
Sounds of pleasure
Real visuals of copulation
Cumming iside or on
Rabid anticipation
Total exhaustion after xx hrs of sex
The satisfaction of giving and receiving
.
.
.


The list is endless, and is why masturbation is not enough. These things are primal....basic. You cant replace the irreplaceable.

 

[Boat1]

Here's a viable solution...

 

[Breastobsessed84]

Cheat or jerkoff. Pretty simple.

 

[Boat1]

A newbie to this site but felt compelled to share my own experience. We are in our mid 40s and the last time we were intimate was more than 2 years ago. Nothing since then, no oral or other. My wife is going through perimenopause and that seems to be the culprit.

Does it suck? Yes. Am I tempted to look elsewhere? Yes but not going to do it. So it's just me,myself and I when it comes to sexual satisfaction.

When we got married we made a vow to be with each other through good and bad. The way I see it this is part of the bad so I need to hold up my end of the deal. Plus I also want to avoid the drama of an affair since there are kids involved.

These are the cards I have been dealt and I play them as best as I can.

I wish you both the best.

Has she ever tried anything like this?
I've seen Black Cohosh provide relief for more than one lady going through menopause...

https://www.amazon.com/Menopause-Sy...dc=1&sprefix=black+cohosh+men,aps,237&sr=8-18

 

[lmsycuycimm]

I re-started my erotic hobby of sucking cock

 

[TemptationTango]

A newbie to this site but felt compelled to share my own experience. We are in our mid 40s and the last time we were intimate was more than 2 years ago. Nothing since then, no oral or other. My wife is going through perimenopause and that seems to be the culprit.

Does it suck? Yes. Am I tempted to look elsewhere? Yes but not going to do it. So it's just me,myself and I when it comes to sexual satisfaction.

When we got married we made a vow to be with each other through good and bad. The way I see it this is part of the bad so I need to hold up my end of the deal. Plus I also want to avoid the drama of an affair since there are kids involved.

These are the cards I have been dealt and I play them as best as I can.

I felt the same way. Then one day it smacked me in the face that a decade had gone by. When complete lack of interest settles in, there is no way to combat that. You cant fight hormones that are no longer there. Not her fault, but its reality.

 

[Representingmyhotwife]

I felt the same way. Then one day it smacked me in the face that a decade had gone by. When complete lack of interest settles in, there is no way to combat that. You cant fight hormones that are no longer there. Not her fault, but its reality.

What to do then?

 

[Swuchrow]

Almost every top I meet is married. They use me as their outlet for sex that their wives don’t provide.

 

[Boat1]

Right on! Completely agree that not anyone's fault but it is what it is.
I tried to gently bring up if I could look elsewhere but that got shutdown quicker than you could say "one". So, yeah, the shop is closed but I cannot shop anywhere else either. That's the part I feel frustrated about and find a bit unfair but

Are you familiar with the type of hormone replacement known as "pelleting?"
I've seen excellent results from that method!
Edit: It's done after thorough blood work and is "custom tailored" to the individual's needs, as per their body's chemistry.

 

[Boat1]

Nope but will look it up! Thanks for the pointer!

You're quite welcome.
A place in Missouri, called "Healing Arts Center" does it.
I'm not certain if it's a chain or not though.

 

[Silvermen]

Havnt had sex with my wife or any woman for years. I used to go to video stores and suck dicks at the gloryhole. Then I ran into an old classmate.This was a regular thing for a couple years. He would call me up and say he was horny. I would come running to get some of his cock. Now I meet up once a week with another friend. We fuck and suck each other. One time his buddy was there and I got spit roasted.

 

[hulmule]

Come Lit, pm's, video, read stories... And jerk off. I so miss the intimacy of deep kissing a woman, and making love. Or just some good fucking !!

 

[van_delay]

Lotta jerkin off

 

[hulmule]

Lotta jerkin off

Key word - "Lotta"

 

[TemptationTango]

The wife started hormone treatment once. She quit early on saying "Its too much of a hassle". This is/was directly related to the lack of interest in my opinion.

 

[Topher1972]

And why would a society make this sort of transaction illegal? I think if I could find the right transactional arrangement that was safe from getting in trouble with the law it would would be a win-win for everyone.

Prostitution is legal in several countries. When I was stationed in Germany and Bosnia that was the only sexual outlet we had. In Hungary they were required to take STD tests monthly and had to pay taxes like a regular job. It should be that way here.