Sexless marriage

I have a question:

Those of you in a sexless marriage…if you won the lottery - would you tell your partner (and give up half) or would you concoct a plan to exit your marriage/partnership with all your newfound wealth intact?
 
I have a question:

Those of you in a sexless marriage…if you won the lottery - would you tell your partner (and give up half) or would you concoct a plan to exit your marriage/partnership with all your newfound wealth intact?
I am possibly in a different position than many on here. I posted months possibly over a year ago on here, got it out of my system I guess.

Winning the lottery would change us for certain, my wife has severe IBS and depression to boot. The mix of both those takes a massive toll on her so sex can/is few and far between (now been four months for us since we were last sexually intimate).

A quantifiable big win would allow us to dig deeper for therapy and private care to help with the IBS. So we wouldn't separate as its something that can be dealt with, hopefully....
 
I think I’m in a slightly different position to most on this thread as I’m/we’re in our mid thirties and sexless, we’ve been together 5 years and married for 3, to begin it was great sex, we’d playfully grab each others bum when passing in the kitchen etc(as couples do).

Then it all changed, she stopped instigating sex, which left it to me to instigate sex, no more lingerie/roleplay or anything of the kind, then she’d complain if I grabbed her bum, she’d stop grabbing me, anytime I tried something there’d be every excuse, tired/not in mood/didn’t feel clean. I think the final nail in the coffin was when she accused me of pestering her for sex, obviously hearing this didn’t make me feel great, it basically became easier just to take myself off and take care of myself.

I’ve tried WhatsApping her things from Love Honey or Ann Summers but her response is always not to waste my money.

I do love her but as we’re mid thirties I feel too young for my sex life to be over.
 
I think I’m in a slightly different position to most on this thread as I’m/we’re in our mid thirties and sexless, we’ve been together 5 years and married for 3, to begin it was great sex, we’d playfully grab each others bum when passing in the kitchen etc(as couples do).

Then it all changed, she stopped instigating sex, which left it to me to instigate sex, no more lingerie/roleplay or anything of the kind, then she’d complain if I grabbed her bum, she’d stop grabbing me, anytime I tried something there’d be every excuse, tired/not in mood/didn’t feel clean. I think the final nail in the coffin was when she accused me of pestering her for sex, obviously hearing this didn’t make me feel great, it basically became easier just to take myself off and take care of myself.

I’ve tried WhatsApping her things from Love Honey or Ann Summers but her response is always not to waste my money.

I do love her but as we’re mid thirties I feel too young for my sex life to be over.
Honestly, I’d look for the exits now. There comes a point where it is impossible to end it unless you’re willing to live out of your car for the rest of your life.

No sex from the person you love eventually brings about resentment and bitterness. And talk lasts for weeks. Maybe months but behavior always goes back to what it was before .
 
I think I’m in a slightly different position to most on this thread as I’m/we’re in our mid thirties and sexless, we’ve been together 5 years and married for 3, to begin it was great sex, we’d playfully grab each others bum when passing in the kitchen etc(as couples do).

Then it all changed, she stopped instigating sex, which left it to me to instigate sex, no more lingerie/roleplay or anything of the kind, then she’d complain if I grabbed her bum, she’d stop grabbing me, anytime I tried something there’d be every excuse, tired/not in mood/didn’t feel clean. I think the final nail in the coffin was when she accused me of pestering her for sex, obviously hearing this didn’t make me feel great, it basically became easier just to take myself off and take care of myself.

I’ve tried WhatsApping her things from Love Honey or Ann Summers but her response is always not to waste my money.

I do love her but as we’re mid thirties I feel too young for my sex life to be over.
You are too young. Try marriage therapy first, if it goes nowhere, and you don't have kids, cut it off NOW. Even if you have kids, you're young enough to land on your feet after a bit.
Honestly, I’d look for the exits now. There comes a point where it is impossible to end it unless you’re willing to live out of your car for the rest of your life.

No sex from the person you love eventually brings about resentment and bitterness. And talk lasts for weeks. Maybe months but behavior always goes back to what it was before .
I can't emphatically agree more. The longer you wait, depending on your locale, the worse it gets - and almost exclusively for men.

Take it from me, I've been married almost 20 years. We got married quite young and children came soon thereafter (but it was not a shotgun wedding because I knocked her up). The signs were there from the beginning, and now I'm literally trapped. Learn from my mistakes. Always try to fix it first, but if that doesn't work, man up and move on. You're hurting yourself and everyone around you if you don't.
 
I think I’m in a slightly different position to most on this thread as I’m/we’re in our mid thirties and sexless, we’ve been together 5 years and married for 3, to begin it was great sex, we’d playfully grab each others bum when passing in the kitchen etc(as couples do).

Then it all changed, she stopped instigating sex, which left it to me to instigate sex, no more lingerie/roleplay or anything of the kind, then she’d complain if I grabbed her bum, she’d stop grabbing me, anytime I tried something there’d be every excuse, tired/not in mood/didn’t feel clean. I think the final nail in the coffin was when she accused me of pestering her for sex, obviously hearing this didn’t make me feel great, it basically became easier just to take myself off and take care of myself.

I’ve tried WhatsApping her things from Love Honey or Ann Summers but her response is always not to waste my money.

I do love her but as we’re mid thirties I feel too young for my sex life to be over.
So I am going at this in a different direction to those telling you to run for the hills.

When do you talk? I mean actually talk about what's going on between the two of you? I don't see any signs of communication here. Has there been a life event for either of you that may have shifted your relationship? If it's a sudden change in her why haven't you talked to her? You are in your 30s engage in conversation just grabbing someone's backside and sending sex toys via WhatsApp is not communicating and sure as he'll isn't showing concern just a very big "me, me, me" energy.
 
I think I’m in a slightly different position to most on this thread as I’m/we’re in our mid thirties and sexless, we’ve been together 5 years and married for 3, to begin it was great sex, we’d playfully grab each others bum when passing in the kitchen etc(as couples do).

Then it all changed, she stopped instigating sex, which left it to me to instigate sex, no more lingerie/roleplay or anything of the kind, then she’d complain if I grabbed her bum, she’d stop grabbing me, anytime I tried something there’d be every excuse, tired/not in mood/didn’t feel clean. I think the final nail in the coffin was when she accused me of pestering her for sex, obviously hearing this didn’t make me feel great, it basically became easier just to take myself off and take care of myself.

I’ve tried WhatsApping her things from Love Honey or Ann Summers but her response is always not to waste my money.

I do love her but as we’re mid thirties I feel too young for my sex life to be over.
Mid thirties is far too young 😔.
 
Beyond frustrating, a mismatch in sex drive and curiosity to explore..
So IF, and it's a big if.. anything happens, it's the same old vanilla routine time and time again
 
How many of them can be in sexless Marriage??
don't they enjoy sex or it's just they can't fulfil one anothers desires??
is it possible to be sexless after Marriage for a long time?
 
I didn't talk to someone experiencing this so I'm not very much aware of it...
by the sounds of it, there's plenty here who you can speak to about it.
I'm not saying it justifies it, but when people hold out on partners, can they really be surprised when affairs happen?
 
by the sounds of it, there's plenty here who you can speak to about it.
I'm not saying it justifies it, but when people hold out on partners, can they really be surprised when affairs happen?
then they shouldn't be surprised at it... It's obvious they will look somewhere else for their own satisfaction.
 
How many of them can be in sexless Marriage??
don't they enjoy sex or it's just they can't fulfil one anothers desires??
is it possible to be sexless after Marriage for a long time?
If it's medical issues, there cannot be blame, only love and understanding.
 
Sexless almost 10 years here. I’m 70 and wife is 66
Sex just tapered off gradually. Then she went through menopause and just about all bedroom activities stopped.
Now it’s painful to put anything inside her vagina. Vagina walls have thinned so it’s a no go for anything.
I wasn’t prepared for this..figured retire, house is kid free.. plenty of sex right?
 
So I am going at this in a different direction to those telling you to run for the hills.

When do you talk? I mean actually talk about what's going on between the two of you? I don't see any signs of communication here. Has there been a life event for either of you that may have shifted your relationship? If it's a sudden change in her why haven't you talked to her? You are in your 30s engage in conversation just grabbing someone's backside and sending sex toys via WhatsApp is not communicating and sure as he'll isn't showing concern just a very big "me, me, me" energy.
Good points here. Perhaps a life event (or many) have occurred that have possibly not registered with you as much as your partner.
 
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