The Psychology of the "Disinterested Handjob"

[MediocreAuthor]

I kind of wonder which would be a better experience, handjob by a hooker who just wants to get the job done and get it over with and get paid, or handjob by a wife who just wants to get the job done and get it over with. Would the husband's fantasy be that he could pretend his wife was a hooker, but he wasn't really going to be out the cash? And what about the ejaculation aspect? Was the ejaculation into a condom, or was it into a tissue, or did the wife get sprayed? Now I'm starting to think I don't have enough information to make any kind of speculation on the psychology of it.

For science, I guess, I asked some of the questions you put forward.

Of course she doesn't know what her husband was thinking, but he kept saying her name the whole time.

Also the ejaculation was supposed to be in a towel, but it ended up getting on the sheets. She was understandably pissed about that, but he washed the sheets for her, so I guess he smoothed that over.

She didn't get it on anything but her hand.

Does that help the sleuthing any?

 

[WCSGarland]

Also the ejaculation was supposed to be in a towel, but it ended up getting on the sheets. She was understandably pissed about that, but he washed the sheets for her, so I guess he smoothed that over.

Yeah, that premature ejaculation stuff is pretty embarrassing.

 

[WCSGarland]

Does that help the sleuthing any?

Oh, and I was just asking for a friend anyway.... nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

 

[OffNSFW]

I have never personally experienced this. But I did once see a clip of a man fucking a woman while she laid there playing a Nintendo Switch, a look of total boredom on her face, like he didn't even merit acknowledgement. And you know what? It turned me on.

It's definitely a power thing, needing them so badly, but you're so insignificant to them that you could be fucking them and they still wouldn't notice you. As if it weren't worth the time and energy it would take to turn you away.

 

[WCSGarland]

Okay, so now I have to ask, psychology of the wife for giving the uninterested/disinterested hand job, or psychology of the husband for wanting the uninterested/disinterested hand job? Am I over-thinking this? I have a tendency to do that.

Perhaps it is as simple as dopamine addiction. what happens in your brain during orgasm?

 

[holliday1960]

The hooker isn't going to give you as much time as you need. If you don't blow your load after 15 minutes, off you go, get out.

And I'm wondering how many hookers you guys know, Dave??? Hmmm????

 

[alohadave]

And I'm wondering how many hookers you guys know, Dave??? Hmmm????

Let's just say I had a good hit on roulette once.

 

[Naughtygirl201]

It's not really about control. It's doing something for your partner even though you may not be that interested in doing it. I give my wife backrubs because she asks, not because I get something out of it or particularly enjoy doing it.

I'm pretty sure my husband gives the backrubs because he's hoping it will open my legs....

 

[NoTalentHack]

I kind of wonder which would be a better experience, handjob by a hooker who just wants to get the job done and get it over with and get paid, or handjob by a wife who just wants to get the job done and get it over with.

My guess, assuming it's some sort of mild humiliation kink, is that the bored handjob from the wife would be more exciting. On a basic level, a guy knows the hooker is only acting enthused, so her failing to act enthused isn't that surprising. The wife, however, should theoretically care enough to act enthused, even if she isn't; her failing to pretend she cares feels more transgressive (at least from this outsider's perspective) than the hooker not pretending to be excited. More humiliating, too.

 

[MillieDynamite]

@MediocreAuthor, having given a few disinterested handjobs in my not so good at all old days, I'd have to say, from my experience, it is guys who don't think they deserve attention from sexy girls. On most of these 'customers,' I understood what they wanted. And they paid well for a handjob, and they weren't the slobs that didn't have money for a fuck. They were guys who didn't believe they should have more than a pretty girl chewing gum and refusing to look at them while they whacked them off. These guys were return customers who paid enough for a blow or often a full fuck. Getting them off became an easy job once I understood what they were into. Talk about needing to wash your hair, how the guys tonight were dicks (and be sure to include them in that group), and between three minutes and five, you hit the guiser. Of course, I always made them wear the raincoat and pay extra for it. Why? Because I didn't want their nasty goo on me, and that, too, made them happy.

 

[Carnevil9]

....... Does anyone understand the allure behind such a sex act? I've heard plenty of guys online say that they don't even enjoy handjobs because their own hand is so much more experienced. Putting that opinion aside, why would a guy actively want a disinterested sex partner?

Anyone who thinks they can give themselves a better handjob than someone else can give them have obviously never had a really good handjob. The touch of another person is always going to be much more powerful than your own touch. Ever try to tickle yourself? It just doesn't work.

Anyway, I think the allure of uninterested/disinterested handjob porn is because that's probably what the viewer is most familiar with. The pleasure from watching porn is not only from the visuals, but from the stimulation of deep and powerful memories. If that is what you have frequently experienced in real life, it is going to be a powerful experience to watch it on screen.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

@MediocreAuthor, having given a few disinterested handjobs in my not so good at all old days, I'd have to say, from my experience, it is guys who don't think they deserve attention from sexy girls. On most of these 'customers,' I understood what they wanted. And they paid well for a handjob, and they weren't the slobs that didn't have money for a fuck. They were guys who didn't believe they should have more than a pretty girl chewing gum and refusing to look at them while they whacked them off. These guys were return customers who paid enough for a blow or often a full fuck. Getting them off became an easy job once I understood what they were into. Talk about needing to wash your hair, how the guys tonight were dicks (and be sure to include them in that group), and between three minutes and five, you hit the guiser. Of course, I always made them wear the raincoat and pay extra for it. Why? Because I didn't want their nasty goo on me, and that, too, made them happy.

That is so interesting.

I mean, in the vast expanse of strange and often creepy kinks, this one seems pretty harmless. So even if I don't fully understand it, at least I can't hate on it.

Now I guess the next step is to find out which is more popular: Interested, or uninterested handjobs

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Anyone who thinks they can give themselves a better handjob than someone else can give them have obviously never had a really good handjob. The touch of another person is always going to be much more powerful than your own touch. Ever try to tickle yourself? It just doesn't work.

Anyway, I think the allure of uninterested/disinterested handjob porn is because that's probably what the viewer is most familiar with. The pleasure from watching porn is not only from the visuals, but from the stimulation of deep and powerful memories. If that is what you have frequently experienced in real life, it is going to be a powerful experience to watch it on screen.

That seems like a reasonable argument. Once again, I feel like your second assertion plays well with my honesty theory.

If a guy got handjobs when he was younger, they likely were semi-uninterested at best. And he might want a to relive that experience with all the reality intact.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

That seems like a reasonable argument. Once again, I feel like your second assertion plays well with my honesty theory.

If a guy got handjobs when he was younger, they likely were semi-uninterested at best. And he might want a to relive that experience with all the reality intact.

Your honesty theory sucks! Guys are not like that!

What kind of guys did you hang out with, anyway? Did they, like, moan with pleasure any time you said something honest?
"Yeah baby, gimme some more truth, give it to meee!"

 

[MillieDynamite]

I don't think I can give an interested handjob even when I was a whore. I'm just not that into men, fu yuck comes to mind on handjobs, blowjobs, or sex and men! LOL

That is so interesting.

I mean, in the vast expanse of strange and often creepy kinks, this one seems pretty harmless. So even if I don't fully understand it, at least I can't hate on it.

Now I guess the next step is to find out which is more popular: Interested, or uninterested handjobs

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Your honesty theory sucks! Guys are not like that!

What kind of guys did you hang out with, anyway? Did they, like, moan with pleasure any time you said something honest?
"Yeah baby, gimme some more truth, give it to meee!"

Okay. Quick question. Which do you like better? Fake tits or real, albeit smaller tits?

Obviously some men prefer fake ones, but I've heard plenty of men say they don't care for fake ones as much. Why not?

It's almost as if there's some innate desire to know that a thing you enjoy is real, and genuine... free from deception.

 

[MillieDynamite]

From a lesbian point of view, fake tits are much too firm (approaching hard). I prefer small to large, perhaps because I have small ones or probably more so because Jo has smalluns as well.

Okay. Quick question. Which do you like better? Fake tits or real, albeit smaller tits?

Obviously some men prefer fake ones, but I've heard plenty of men say they don't care for fake ones as much. Why not?

It's almost as if there's some innate desire to know that a thing you enjoy is real, and genuine... free from deception.

 

[Nicenashguy615]

For years, I’ve gotten handjobs from the wife when she didn’t care for intercourse and I’ve always figured ‘better than nothing.’

Recently, I’ve decided it isn’t. I do a far better job at it than she does. Why? Because she’s not into it. Only trying to meet my needs and I kinda appreciate that in a way.

But the look on her face is pure disinterest. She won’t look at my dick or my face. She goes way to fast and stares off into the distance as if she’s imagining being somewhere else. I’ve guided her a hundred times but thirty seconds later, she’s doing it wrong. Couple weeks ago, I told her to slow down and she snipped, ‘I’ve done this before!’

I stopped her then and there. We talked later and I told her she isn’t doing it again if she’s going to beat me like a dirty old rug.

Now if I met a lady somewhere and she wanted to give me a ‘disinterested handjob,’ that could be fun just because it’s wild and spontaneous. Once only though. I’d have no interest in seeing her again unless I knew the next meetup was going to be more fun.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

From a lesbian point of view, fake tits are much too firm (approaching hard). I prefer small to large, perhaps because I have small ones or probably more so because Jo has smalluns as well.

I'll be perfectly honest, I've never touched fake tits. And as far as I know, I've never even seen any bare ones in real life.

 

[Britva415]

The fact that she didn't particularly enjoy it, yet still did it for my sake - I thought that was sweet, and it appealed to my sadistic side

I guess I don’t have that side, because this kind of performative “sex”, knowing the other person isn’t into it, is a very strong turn-off for me.

The hooker isn't going to give you as much time as you need. If you don't blow your load after 15 minutes, off you go, get out.

who’s to say the uninterested wife will?

At least the hooker has a motivation to act like there’s something exciting about it for someone. If hookers behaved like uninterested wives, they’d be out of business. There’s a huge difference between sex-for-pay with someone who’s in it for the money rather than for the thrill, versus begrudging duty sex from someone who feels obligated and kind of wants it to not be a thrill for anyone.

 

[Nicenashguy615]

I guess I don’t have that side, because this kind of performative “sex”, knowing the other person isn’t into it, is a very strong turn-off for me.

who’s to say the uninterested wife will?

At least the hooker has a motivation to act like there’s something exciting about it for someone. If hookers behaved like uninterested wives, they’d be out of business. There’s a huge difference between sex-for-pay with someone who’s in it for the money rather than for the thrill, versus begrudging duty sex from someone who feels obligated and kind of wants it to not be a thrill for anyone.

Totally agree. If a hooker did that to me, I wouldn’t dwell on it for more than thirty seconds. When the person you love does that to you on a far too frequent basis, it damages the relationship badly. You actually find resentment slowly creeps in. It’s insidious because in a way, it’s worse than if she simply told me she had a hang up about it. That’s understandable and I know it has nothing to do with me.

 

[Britva415]

Totally agree. If a hooker did that to me, I wouldn’t dwell on it for more than thirty seconds. When the person you love does that to you on a far too frequent basis, it damages the relationship badly. You actually find resentment slowly creeps in. It’s insidious because in a way, it’s worse than if she simply told me she had a hang up about it. That’s understandable and I know it has nothing to do with me.

My spouse and I can talk about this stuff honestly and frankly without anyone getting upset. So the toxicity and resentment hasn’t happened to us, and it still is an unsexy, unexciting, not-worth-it turn-off.

 

[WCSGarland]

And as far as I know, I've never even seen any bare ones in real life.

There is a way around that... all it takes is a trip to a neighborhood exotic dance joint. I hear ladies can avoid cover charges in some places.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

There is a way around that... all it takes is a trip to a neighborhood exotic dance joint. I hear ladies can avoid cover charges in some places.

Ooooh... that sounds beyond unpleasant.

Walking around a bunch of aroused men. Just for a chance to see some fake titties? No thank you.

 

[ElectricBlue]

real, albeit smaller tits?

Definitely. Fake boobs are not in the least bit sexy for me. Give me a real pair of breasts any day: small, medium, on occasion large, but gotta be natural.