BDSM Minds

[ShinyHeelsRose77]

I have always noticed that when you initially talk with other people who are into BDSM at any level, they have
more insight & psychological depth than lots of regular people u may chat with.... (not that they don't have it too but it's different.)
It's like when you get into a convo with them - you can connect quicker and jump through stages - like you get each other on a mental level but about anything psychological - boundaries/desire/relationships...

Is it because BDSM people know themselves and go to levels that others don't - in their minds and with their body and soul?
In Classical Astrolgoy, they have the depth and desire of a Scorpio, the fire of a Mars and the Mind of a Mercury maybe


Has anyone noticed that? What is about BDSM that makes it so...?

 

[OddLove]

I've not talked about BDSM very much with people in one on one discussions, but if what you're saying is generally how it is, then it might be because when someone discovers they're into kink it can be confusing. They might spend time trying to understand why they are the way they are and delve into psychology to look for answers or learn about themself. And as far as boundaries go, that's someone that's deeply engrained into the kink community because it requires trust and respect if someone is letting another person restrain them or punish them. The consequences of letting a horrible person with bad intentions tie you up is extremely dangerous so it would make logical sense that stressing the importance of consent, boundaries, trust, and respect.

EDIT: Also, being able to openly and honestly communicate those boundaries as well as give or receive clear enthusiastic consent requires people to develop communication skills which could explain why you're finding it easier to discuss things like BDSM with other kinky people.

 

[MiaBabe23]

I have always noticed that when you initially talk with other people who are into BDSM at any level, they have
more insight & psychological depth than lots of regular people u may chat with.... (not that they don't have it too but it's different.)
It's like when you get into a convo with them - you can connect quicker and jump through stages - like you get each other on a mental level but about anything psychological - boundaries/desire/relationships...

Is it because BDSM people know themselves and go to levels that others don't - in their minds and with their body and soul?
In Classical Astrolgoy, they have the depth and desire of a Scorpio, the fire of a Mars and the Mind of a Mercury maybe


Has anyone noticed that? What is about BDSM that makes it so...?

I’m not sure I agree in my personal experience. I have spoken with plenty of people where that’s the case, but equally spoken with people where it absolutely isn’t. Much like any other grouping of people I think - some you click with, some you don’t

 

[SPARTAN047]

I have always noticed that when you initially talk with other people who are into BDSM at any level, they have
more insight & psychological depth than lots of regular people u may chat with.... (not that they don't have it too but it's different.)
It's like when you get into a convo with them - you can connect quicker and jump through stages - like you get each other on a mental level but about anything psychological - boundaries/desire/relationships...

Is it because BDSM people know themselves and go to levels that others don't - in their minds and with their body and soul?
In Classical Astrolgoy, they have the depth and desire of a Scorpio, the fire of a Mars and the Mind of a Mercury maybe


Has anyone noticed that? What is about BDSM that makes it so...?

Possible. There are fake BDSM people who only like spanking.

Introverted people and kinksters are probably more self aware on average of themselves and other people. But anyone can become so if they really want to.

 

[subbyclarajane]

I have always noticed that when you initially talk with other people who are into BDSM at any level, they have
more insight & psychological depth than lots of regular people u may chat with.... (not that they don't have it too but it's different.)
It's like when you get into a convo with them - you can connect quicker and jump through stages - like you get each other on a mental level but about anything psychological - boundaries/desire/relationships...

Is it because BDSM people know themselves and go to levels that others don't - in their minds and with their body and soul?
In Classical Astrolgoy, they have the depth and desire of a Scorpio, the fire of a Mars and the Mind of a Mercury maybe


Has anyone noticed that? What is about BDSM that makes it so...?

I guess, here’s been my experience. And though I’m new to doing it myself, I’ve studied BDSM enough to know I want to do more and get really good at it. That took talking to people, and those people DID have some continuity.

I’ve noticed a sensitivity to BDSM individuals who “get it” but especially within the Dom/me domain. I’ve found far too many people (dudes mostly) that claim to be a Dom, but what they actually want is a human fuck toy without feelings (and hey, some people want to be one). But those who truly understand power dynamics have to be extra sensitive - every whip crack or nipple twist is intended to fulfill the sub/slave fantasy, and that requires depth of understanding, observation, interest in the partner. These servant leaders ARE somewhat special, imho, and are intelligent enough to see each other through the fog, connecting at depth.

So yeah, within this context, I agree.

 

[ShinyHeelsRose77]

I guess, here’s been my experience. And though I’m new to doing it myself, I’ve studied BDSM enough to know I want to do more and get really good at it. That took talking to people, and those people DID have some continuity.

I’ve noticed a sensitivity to BDSM individuals who “get it” but especially within the Dom/me domain. I’ve found far too many people (dudes mostly) that claim to be a Dom, but what they actually want is a human fuck toy without feelings (and hey, some people want to be one). But those who truly understand power dynamics have to be extra sensitive - every whip crack or nipple twist is intended to fulfill the sub/slave fantasy, and that requires depth of understanding, observation, interest in the partner. These servant leaders ARE somewhat special, imho, and are intelligent enough to see each other through the fog, connecting at depth.

So yeah, within this context, I agree.

thanks for reply, i totally get what you're saying and agree. There are not many of those people around I think...it takes maturity and sensitivity like you say. Also get it about the pretenders!

 

[SPARTAN047]

I guess, here’s been my experience. And though I’m new to doing it myself, I’ve studied BDSM enough to know I want to do more and get really good at it. That took talking to people, and those people DID have some continuity.

I’ve noticed a sensitivity to BDSM individuals who “get it” but especially within the Dom/me domain. I’ve found far too many people (dudes mostly) that claim to be a Dom, but what they actually want is a human fuck toy without feelings (and hey, some people want to be one). But those who truly understand power dynamics have to be extra sensitive - every whip crack or nipple twist is intended to fulfill the sub/slave fantasy, and that requires depth of understanding, observation, interest in the partner. These servant leaders ARE somewhat special, imho, and are intelligent enough to see each other through the fog, connecting at depth.

So yeah, within this context, I agree.

I'd say you've said articulately what most of us are thinking. The deep thoughts folk anyway.

 

[naughtyishaan]

I can only speak about my mind, might add to your context.

I personally don't like hard bdsm like spanking someone on ass with bat, scat kind of thing or dick torture, pegging a male in ass I personally don't understand this kind of domination.

It's not domination its humiliation, and makes me feel like few female wants to degrade male and kind of feminist thing. She is not getting any sensual pleasures with pegging a male in ass, just normal fucking motion for her. Can't say about how male might feel, few do enjoy I guess but not me.

For me dom and sub has a different meaning, it's like role reversal in a relationship. The advances that male make these are made by female.

Where a male licks a female's nick and increase her sensual feeling during foreplay, these things are done my female dom to sub male for me.

I just relax and let her have her way with my body in sensual manner and natural. If she wants to just tease me using my dick she can continue to lick my dick for hours and tease me the same way I would keep on licking a females pussyand make her cum.

She can force me to lick her ass, make me do some kinky stuff to her body in a bossy manner.

It's a difference between dom and bdsm thing I guess.

What I like, is she being bossy around me in private. Like while I'm peeing she can come from behind and grab my dick and direct it to the pot.

Bit my neck and make me cum by jacking me from behind.

 

[kathyisgr65]

I've not talked about BDSM very much with people in one on one discussions, but if what you're saying is generally how it is, then it might be because when someone discovers they're into kink it can be confusing. They might spend time trying to understand why they are the way they are and delve into psychology to look for answers or learn about themself. And as far as boundaries go, that's someone that's deeply engrained into the kink community because it requires trust and respect if someone is letting another person restrain them or punish them. The consequences of letting a horrible person with bad intentions tie you up is extremely dangerous so it would make logical sense that stressing the importance of consent, boundaries, trust, and respect.

EDIT: Also, being able to openly and honestly communicate those boundaries as well as give or receive clear enthusiastic consent requires people to develop communication skills which could explain why you're finding it easier to discuss things like BDSM with other kinky people.

I agree 100%
I haven't put much thought into it
And u have to ignore the idiot fakes..
*In my very educated voice
I concur with u

 

[ShinyHeelsRose77]

I can only speak about my mind, might add to your context.

I personally don't like hard bdsm like spanking someone on ass with bat, scat kind of thing or dick torture, pegging a male in ass I personally don't understand this kind of domination.

It's not domination its humiliation, and makes me feel like few female wants to degrade male and kind of feminist thing. She is not getting any sensual pleasures with pegging a male in ass, just normal fucking motion for her. Can't say about how male might feel, few do enjoy I guess but not me.

For me dom and sub has a different meaning, it's like role reversal in a relationship. The advances that male make these are made by female.

Where a male licks a female's nick and increase her sensual feeling during foreplay, these things are done my female dom to sub male for me.

I just relax and let her have her way with my body in sensual manner and natural. If she wants to just tease me using my dick she can continue to lick my dick for hours and tease me the same way I would keep on licking a females pussyand make her cum.

She can force me to lick her ass, make me do some kinky stuff to her body in a bossy manner.

It's a difference between dom and bdsm thing I guess.

What I like, is she being bossy around me in private. Like while I'm peeing she can come from behind and grab my dick and direct it to the pot.

Bit my neck and make me cum by jacking me from behind.

well thanks for that insight into what you find a turn on... i guess this is the right platform for it...! I guess bdsm means different things to different people = some more extreme some more like what ur saying

 

[SPARTAN047]

Everyone doesn't like humiliation or degradation.

 

[naughtyishaan]

well thanks for that insight into what you find a turn on... i guess this is the right platform for it...! I guess bdsm means different things to different people = some more extreme some more like what ur saying

Everyone doesn't like humiliation or degradation.

You two ladies are best

I never thought it was that easy to say it loud to some mature ladies and they accepting it.

 

[SPARTAN047]

You two ladies are best

I never thought it was that easy to say it loud to some mature ladies and they accepting it.

Thanks. I'm sure some ladies who are into domination will accept your fetishes. They're usually mature, though young Dommes exist.

 

[TanSurferGirl]

I have always noticed that when you initially talk with other people who are into BDSM at any level, they have
more insight & psychological depth than lots of regular people u may chat with.... (not that they don't have it too but it's different.)
It's like when you get into a convo with them - you can connect quicker and jump through stages - like you get each other on a mental level but about anything psychological - boundaries/desire/relationships...

Is it because BDSM people know themselves and go to levels that others don't - in their minds and with their body and soul?
In Classical Astrolgoy, they have the depth and desire of a Scorpio, the fire of a Mars and the Mind of a Mercury maybe


Has anyone noticed that? What is about BDSM that makes it so...?

I want to know what "mild" bdsm means please

 

[naughtyishaan]

I want to know what "mild" bdsm means please

I can only speak about my mind, might add to your context.

I personally don't like hard bdsm like spanking someone on ass with bat, scat kind of thing or dick torture, pegging a male in ass I personally don't understand this kind of domination.

It's not domination its humiliation, and makes me feel like few female wants to degrade male and kind of feminist thing. She is not getting any sensual pleasures with pegging a male in ass, just normal fucking motion for her. Can't say about how male might feel, few do enjoy I guess but not me.

For me dom and sub has a different meaning, it's like role reversal in a relationship. The advances that male make these are made by female.

Where a male licks a female's nick and increase her sensual feeling during foreplay, these things are done my female dom to sub male for me.

I just relax and let her have her way with my body in sensual manner and natural. If she wants to just tease me using my dick she can continue to lick my dick for hours and tease me the same way I would keep on licking a females pussyand make her cum.

She can force me to lick her ass, make me do some kinky stuff to her body in a bossy manner.

It's a difference between dom and bdsm thing I guess.

What I like, is she being bossy around me in private. Like while I'm peeing she can come from behind and grab my dick and direct it to the pot.

Bit my neck and make me cum by jacking me from behind.

Check my comment..... I guess its mild bdsm or sweet femdom

 

[naughtyishaan]

Thanks. I'm sure some ladies who are into domination will accept your fetishes. They're usually mature, though young Dommes exist.

I'm okay with older ones too to explore the fetish.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I'm okay with older ones too to explore the fetish.

Whoever you like.

 

[Astrotrain]

Possible. There are fake BDSM people who only like spanking.

How are you defining fake BDSM? I would say any sex session where one partner is dominant and the other is submissive is BDSM, it doesn't even have to involve pain.

 

[SPARTAN047]

How are you defining fake BDSM? I would say any sex session where one partner is dominant and the other is submissive is BDSM, it doesn't even have to involve pain.

I meant fake BDSM people, they just pretend to be interested for power games, sex or money.

 

[Rascal69]

You must really get to know each other and have the ultimate trust. Selfishness has no place in BDSM. You are controlling someone that’s longing to be controlled and it’s your responsibility to push the right buttons.

 

[theMasterBaiter]

I can only speak from my own experience but I know that by focusing on different forms of sexuality, I've grown to know myself better over the years but also I have grown to become a more flexible and "fully realized" person.

When I was young, I had an interest in masochism (my very first O was self CBT), and some minor dom type fantasy of rescuing "damsel's in distress" but only women. As the years went by, those interests led me to realize that others might enjoy being tortured (in ways they enjoyed) and that I might enjoy having someone else torture me. Also, to rescue a girl, some "evil" person has to trap them. I grew into all those roles.

Then a church I was part of (not recommended) started a panel to present the idea to the congregation of being welcoming to LGBTQ+ peoples and one of the questions or challenges was to walk through a mall holding hands with a man. That led me to see men in New ways, and to see some men as attractive. Then I found sissy's , trans, CDs and wow... Suddenly I was massively cocky hungry. (Fuck I wanna suck dick soooo bad LOL).

And now I'm even starting to find myself attracted to hairy, manly men. I've grown so much because of being open minded over time. It hasn't all been good, because so many other people are soooo close minded.

So that is why I love talking to people in BDSM... Open minds. Mostly. Yeah there are a lot of stupid men. LOL.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

The people I have actually met in person who were into at least some form of BDSM all had a traumatic childhood or some form of a past abusive relationship or event.
I am by no means a doctor but I would like to chat with others to see if they relate their sexual preferences to these types of events

 

[LinusLattimore]

I guess, here’s been my experience. And though I’m new to doing it myself, I’ve studied BDSM enough to know I want to do more and get really good at it. That took talking to people, and those people DID have some continuity.

I’ve noticed a sensitivity to BDSM individuals who “get it” but especially within the Dom/me domain. I’ve found far too many people (dudes mostly) that claim to be a Dom, but what they actually want is a human fuck toy without feelings (and hey, some people want to be one). But those who truly understand power dynamics have to be extra sensitive - every whip crack or nipple twist is intended to fulfill the sub/slave fantasy, and that requires depth of understanding, observation, interest in the partner. These servant leaders ARE somewhat special, imho, and are intelligent enough to see each other through the fog, connecting at depth.

So yeah, within this context, I agree.

But those who truly understand power dynamics have to be extra sensitive - every whip crack or nipple twist is intended to fulfill the sub/slave fantasy, and that requires depth of understanding, observation, interest in the partner. These servant leaders ARE somewhat special, imho, and are intelligent enough to see each other through the fog, connecting at depth.

This is right on the money. In our experience, my Missus realized this dynamic way ahead of me. She has always been so much better performing in the Domme role than I ever was as Dom. Over the years, we've given into that reality for our play modes. No doubt, I'm a selfish person (as I've often confessed to her in my sub role) because I crave attention. I'm so lucky that she understands that and grants me that special attention (unless she deliberately withholds it as part of the session we're in). Having slowly learned so much, it's a shame we aren't exactly young anymore. If only we had the energy now to do well what we (especially I) used to stumble around trying to do!

 

[MasterDarcy]

I have always noticed that when you initially talk with other people who are into BDSM at any level, they have
more insight & psychological depth than lots of regular people u may chat with.... (not that they don't have it too but it's different.)
It's like when you get into a convo with them - you can connect quicker and jump through stages - like you get each other on a mental level but about anything psychological - boundaries/desire/relationships...

Is it because BDSM people know themselves and go to levels that others don't - in their minds and with their body and soul?
In Classical Astrolgoy, they have the depth and desire of a Scorpio, the fire of a Mars and the Mind of a Mercury maybe


Has anyone noticed that? What is about BDSM that makes it so...?

It's a very good question.

Every single role and title in BDSM is cerebral and it's ultimately guided by the mind. Dom/Domme/sub space are manifests of that.

The dynamics and relationships involved aren't vanilla. They aren't black and white, nor are they without nuance.

This lifestyle is deep and the people within it are just as deep. Plus we're aware that our lifestyle is defying on the norm, which makes us the minority, which in turn promotes a helpful nature.