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BrendaBear said:
Survey time!

I am just curious, after seeing some posts from guys who were not getting any DMs and basically complaining about it…

I looked at a couple of their bios, which were empty. Personally, I wouldn’t DM someone who had nothing in their bio unless I already had a rapport with them in the threads.

Does anyone here send out DMs to people they know nothing about? Do guys really think women just decided to DM people based on a crotch shot?

This confuses the fuck out of me, so… what are your thoughts?


Addendum: My natural tendency is to want to help. And my inclination is to reach out and suggest they put some more information out there… what they like, what they want, what are they looking for here, etc.

But my intuition says “shut up, bitch! All you will do is piss them off and decide they hate you.” (It has happened before).
Click to expand...
I never randomly PM girls out of the blue. It’s either something they have posted welcoming a PM or a question, or most commonly we’ve had some interaction on a thread
 
BrendaBear said:
Survey time!

I am just curious, after seeing some posts from guys who were not getting any DMs and basically complaining about it…
Click to expand...
I feel attacked. 🤣

BrendaBear said:
I looked at a couple of their bios, which were empty. Personally, I wouldn’t DM someone who had nothing in their bio unless I already had a rapport with them in the threads.

Does anyone here send out DMs to people they know nothing about?
Click to expand...
I once did, but now do not. In fact, unless it seems absolutely necessary, I don't DM anyone but they are more than welcome to DM.

BrendaBear said:
Do guys really think women just decided to DM people based on a crotch shot?
Click to expand...
I have never, and will never, understand this approach. Unless a woman specifically states she wants unsolicited dick pics, I can't see how that approach can work. With rare exception, male genitalia is not appealing to look at.

BrendaBear said:
This confuses the fuck out of me, so… what are your thoughts?
Click to expand...
You aren't alone.

BrendaBear said:
Addendum: My natural tendency is to want to help. And my inclination is to reach out and suggest they put some more information out there… what they like, what they want, what are they looking for here, etc.

But my intuition says “shut up, bitch! All you will do is piss them off and decide they hate you.” (It has happened before).
Click to expand...
Unfortunately, unsolicited help is as well received as unsolicited dick pics. Nothing you can do about it, but don't let that change the kind-heartedness that we all know is you.
 
BrendaBear said:
Survey time!

I am just curious, after seeing some posts from guys who were not getting any DMs and basically complaining about it…

I looked at a couple of their bios, which were empty. Personally, I wouldn’t DM someone who had nothing in their bio unless I already had a rapport with them in the threads.

Does anyone here send out DMs to people they know nothing about? Do guys really think women just decided to DM people based on a crotch shot?

This confuses the fuck out of me, so… what are your thoughts?


Addendum: My natural tendency is to want to help. And my inclination is to reach out and suggest they put some more information out there… what they like, what they want, what are they looking for here, etc.

But my intuition says “shut up, bitch! All you will do is piss them off and decide they hate you.” (It has happened before).
Click to expand...
I just don’t DM many people. I don’t want to just bug people, but like you said, I have to have interacted with them some beforehand to get a feel if they would even want to talk.
 
BrendaBear said:
Survey time!

I am just curious, after seeing some posts from guys who were not getting any DMs and basically complaining about it…

I looked at a couple of their bios, which were empty. Personally, I wouldn’t DM someone who had nothing in their bio unless I already had a rapport with them in the threads.
Click to expand...
I've actually got written in my bio to not DM me if your bio is blank. If I've not interacted with you much, and your bio is blank, you're DM is likely getting ignored.
BrendaBear said:
Does anyone here send out DMs to people they know nothing about? Do guys really think women just decided to DM people based on a crotch shot?

This confuses the fuck out of me, so… what are your thoughts?
Click to expand...
I used to receive a ton of DMs from strangers & lurkers, they were just messaging whomever appeared to be female that showed they were online. That lessened once I hid my online status. Recently I've gone so far as to limit messages to only people that I follow because it was pretty bad for awhile there.

Yes, some guys seriously think that you'll see their dick pic and swoon, and just be overtaken with lust 🤦‍♀️ I was just having this conversation with someone, you've got to be interesting, whitty, intriguing, just tantalize my mind before you ever get to a level where your pics aren't viewed as objectively as a painting in an art museum.

Nowadays, if you send me an unsolicited Pic, you get one in return. However, it's not me. It's another dude. Enjoy, mother effer.

BrendaBear said:
Addendum: My natural tendency is to want to help. And my inclination is to reach out and suggest they put some more information out there… what they like, what they want, what are they looking for here, etc.

But my intuition says “shut up, bitch! All you will do is piss them off and decide they hate you.” (It has happened before).
Click to expand...
Who could hate you, BB? You're a delight!
 
MindYaBitness said:
Yes, some guys seriously think that you'll see their dick pic and swoon, and just be overtaken with lust 🤦‍♀️ I was just having this conversation with someone, you've got to be interesting, whitty, intriguing, just tantalize my mind before you ever get to a level where your pics aren't viewed as objectively as a painting in an art museum.
Click to expand...
wait...are you saying this ISN'T true?!!!...i have been going about this lit thing all wrong, sigh...
 
BrendaBear said:
Survey time!

I am just curious, after seeing some posts from guys who were not getting any DMs and basically complaining about it…

I looked at a couple of their bios, which were empty. Personally, I wouldn’t DM someone who had nothing in their bio unless I already had a rapport with them in the threads.

Does anyone here send out DMs to people they know nothing about? Do guys really think women just decided to DM people based on a crotch shot?

This confuses the fuck out of me, so… what are your thoughts?


Addendum: My natural tendency is to want to help. And my inclination is to reach out and suggest they put some more information out there… what they like, what they want, what are they looking for here, etc.

But my intuition says “shut up, bitch! All you will do is piss them off and decide they hate you.” (It has happened before).
Click to expand...
I have maybe 3 people I send DMs to anymore. If it can't be said in threads it probably shouldn't be said. Blank profiles and peen pics say exactly what others need to know....the profile is either lazy, uncreative, stupid, a dick, or all of the above.
 
What’s wrong with sending a frisky polite hello to someone you’re interested in? Have a conversation and then if you want to escalate ask. The ratio is like 100 to 1 and the ladies get tired of unrelenting dick pics and come ons.
 
MindYaBitness said:
I've actually got written in my bio to not DM me if your bio is blank. If I've not interacted with you much, and your bio is blank, you're DM is likely getting ignored.

I used to receive a ton of DMs from strangers & lurkers, they were just messaging whomever appeared to be female that showed they were online. That lessened once I hid my online status. Recently I've gone so far as to limit messages to only people that I follow because it was pretty bad for awhile there.

Yes, some guys seriously think that you'll see their dick pic and swoon, and just be overtaken with lust 🤦‍♀️ I was just having this conversation with someone, you've got to be interesting, whitty, intriguing, just tantalize my mind before you ever get to a level where your pics aren't viewed as objectively as a painting in an art museum.

Nowadays, if you send me an unsolicited Pic, you get one in return. However, it's not me. It's another dude. Enjoy, mother effer.
Click to expand...

Your profile bio definitely scares me. I would never DM you 🤣

Although now I’m kind of curious what you send to dudes who send you an unsolicited pic 🤔

*contemplates sending an unsolicited pic*
 
Trubbycat said:
What’s wrong with sending a frisky polite hello to someone you’re interested in? Have a conversation and then if you want to escalate ask. The ratio is like 100 to 1 and the ladies get tired of unrelenting dick pics and come ons.
Click to expand...
Right? Can you please spread the word to your male cohort?
They'll listen to you better than they will to the ladies who've said it a thousand times. I hate to be the barer of bad news to the general populous, but the Lit-o-sphere is not that different from the real world. You're going to get a similar reaction as if you'd flashed your dick to a random person on the bus/street/office
 
LostHorizon said:
Your profile bio definitely scares me. I would never DM you 🤣

Although now I’m kind of curious what you send to dudes who send you an unsolicited pic 🤔

*contemplates sending an unsolicited pic*
Click to expand...
What is so scary? You're not the first to say this, btw. I think its hilarious!
 
MindYaBitness said:
Right? Can you please spread the word to male cohort?
They'll listen to you better than they will to the ladies who've said it a thousand times. I hate to to be the barer of bad news to the general populous, but the Lit-o-sphere is not that different from the real world. You're going to get a similar reaction as if you'd flashed your dick to a random person on the bus/street/office
Click to expand...
no, see, thats the real problem...they dont listen to US either 🤣 😂
 
BrendaBear said:
Survey time!

I am just curious, after seeing some posts from guys who were not getting any DMs and basically complaining about it…

I looked at a couple of their bios, which were empty. Personally, I wouldn’t DM someone who had nothing in their bio unless I already had a rapport with them in the threads.

Does anyone here send out DMs to people they know nothing about? Do guys really think women just decided to DM people based on a crotch shot?

This confuses the fuck out of me, so… what are your thoughts?


Addendum: My natural tendency is to want to help. And my inclination is to reach out and suggest they put some more information out there… what they like, what they want, what are they looking for here, etc.

But my intuition says “shut up, bitch! All you will do is piss them off and decide they hate you.” (It has happened before).
Click to expand...
I only sporadically read bios. I DM rarely and typically only if I have something specific to say, which almost always means I’m drunk or I know them on thread fairly well. I think people complaining about not getting interacted with probably are beyond helpful tips and tricks. YMMV 🤣
 
Last edited:
MindYaBitness said:
What is so scary? You're not the first to say this, btw. I think its hilarious!
Click to expand...
It is hilarious. I love it.

And I definitely got the vibe not to DM you so it worked! 🙂

To be fair, I rarely DM someone first. So despite the blunt hilarity of your profile bio I probably wouldn’t DM you first anyway.
 
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