WilliamButlerYeats (The other)

[twelveoone]

1201's just a frigid cock blocker. I like your Yeatsian poems, and it seems you accept that you're only derivative of the Great One(WGretzkyYeats)

"Teenage Candy Striper" is a good poem, "Language of my Friends" is your best, the others have little content, mostly just flowery well written shells. The end of the goose poem doesn't seem to flow right, here's my revision:

If I hadn't a single friend but a goose,
I'd choose to [tie] a noose, and let it hang;
since there's nothing friendly in a goose,
who's made to choose between a single friend,
and their brood.

and no comments on said poems, proving my point about the above said thread whore.

 

[butters]

I can't stand your poems because they're crafted in an entirely lazy fashion. Not trying to be an overt hater, but you don't know meter, metaphor, how to tell a story, and you certainly don't know how to use surrealism. Read Joyce Mansour, any of the poems of Maria Martins, Bin Ramke. If you're honestly into prose-poetry there's Oni Buchanan, Richard Siken, not much else.

to each their opinion, but i would disagree with yours here, bflagsst.
i have read stuff by bogus that simply goes smack against the description of his work you offer us as fact. and we should also consider that a person not using meter or metaphor might choose to do so as a deliberate act rather than through some undesirable inability.

however, it is almost always good advice to read other poets - good poets - so all is not lost.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

*hands out hard hats and hides in the cupboard*

 

[butters]

*hands out hard hats and hides in the cupboard*

think of it this way, annie: it's all just text on a screen. it's not even making a noise!

if it were, i'd imagine it to sound like those vuvuzelas....

 

[UnderYourSpell]

think of it this way, annie: it's all just text on a screen. it's not even making a noise!

if it were, i'd imagine it to sound like those vuvuzelas....

Oh god I hate those things, my town has the biggest one day Carnival in Europe and it used to be blasted whistles all day long nowadays it sounds like an enormous swarm of bees is about to land!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I am going away for a few days on Friday do try not to kill each other in the mean time

HERE

 

[butters]

I am going away for a few days on Friday do try not to kill each other in the mean time

HERE

how pretty is that?

have a good time, and maybe it will inspire a write!

 

[WilliamButlerYeats]

and no comments on said poems, proving my point about the above said thread whore.

That's such nonsense, saying one person is even capable of derailing a H-train. One hater represents a ten percent min that can't sway any vote more than their single vote. All you have to do is look at the min number of votes I received on any new poem I've posted in the last week and the fact that for every two votes I have a 1. Clockwork, every one of my poems this everyday reader read I got a one as routine, and there's no reason said person would know wby is bflagsst. Which doesn't bother me, as I'm here moreso to share poems and not really concerned with back patting.

Anyway, I wrote these poems when I was 23 over the course of a couple months. It's pretty astonishing that you can train to master an artform and in less than a year have the tools to write greatpoetry 8/10 lines. Doubtful anyone was that familiar with any of my writing to make the connection. It's all the same voicing, same reliance on mid-line poetry technique. Poetry is already simplistic enough, prose just turns it into a brain numbing brick.

 

[bogusagain]

Poetry is already simplistic enough, prose just turns it into a brain numbing brick.

So you are a more is more man? Weeell WBY was I suppose, a subject of high Victoriana and all the cloying sentimentality and over decoration that goes with that.

It's pretty astonishing that you can train to master an artform and in less than a year have the tools to write greatpoetry 8/10 lines.

Are you claiming this for yourself? Anyway, it isn't astonishing. In Tudor times every young gentleman was trained to write masterly verse, it was all part of their education and you weren't counted as up to much if you couldn't master the art.

Let's be honest, its not the style that counts but the content and you can't train someone in that which is why only very few artists in any field reach a position where consensus puts the quality of their work above the herd.

 

[WilliamButlerYeats]

Oh, you're coming out of the closet now?
What you are is a lazy fucking moron who thinks the world revolves around you, that doesn't pay attention, but likes to call for jihads.
Read Dale Carnegie " How to win Friends and Influence People"
I quote you.
etc etc

I don't understand the question you're asking, 1201. I make a couple comments a year, I get a couple comments a year. I've no interest in being the comment queen of lit poetry. It looks like most of your 52 card pickup group has pulled up stakes and left new poems.

Otherwise read as: unless I get the maximum amount of attention on a thread[/I]. Now some set of lads has been working overtime to insure this 52 card pickup group (which isn't mine, I am not even a part of it) will not work, by mysteriously de-Hing everyone that got one in the past month or so and a wee timorous bit of ghosting with anon comments.


I can understand you confusion here, predicated by the fact that I didn't fall down and worship the ground because of your so-called "promotion" of the one poem I wrote worth remembering, which didn't even have a comment for you on
I am a bit of a dick head buster. And you've been a bit of a real dick head.

And I like the odds, you don't have the number ( I count two, I'm assuming some of you are alts.) nor the intelligence.

You're move.

You've a poor memory. I sent you an email congratulating your singular poem and mentioning that I'd read your ME submissions. It was sent from bflagsst. I think that count as commenting on the one poem you got right, no?

 

[WilliamButlerYeats]

So you are a more is more man? Weeell WBY was I suppose, a subject of high Victoriana and all the cloying sentimentality and over decoration that goes with that.



Are you claiming this for yourself? Anyway, it isn't astonishing. In Tudor times every young gentleman was trained to write masterly verse, it was all part of their education and you weren't counted as up to much if you couldn't master the art.

Let's be honest, its not the style that counts but the content and you can't train someone in that which is why only very few artists in any field reach a position where consensus puts the quality of their work above the herd.

More is more? My poems are told in plain languauge. Yours are filled with hack symbolism that amounts to a blowhard schizo shouting his mouth off in an alleyway. You don't say what you mean but veil it in the "I'm trying really hard to sound like bukowski or beatnik" program.

 

[bogusagain]

More is more? My poems are told in plain languauge. Yours are filled with hack symbolism that amounts to a blowhard schizo shouting his mouth off in an alleyway. You don't say what you mean but veil it in the "I'm trying really hard to sound like bukowski or beatnik" program.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!! Your post betrays the fact I hit a nerve!~

So this is plain language....

Wealthy, haggard, helpless to head,
we'll tie you a little bow, to demarcate
these lines of prosperity, girdling
your fenced-in garden,
your raked-between four-poster,
and the peasant bread before you.

The last time I heard plain language like this was when I inadvertently walked into a gay bar on talent night in Schoenberg.

And I'm being serious too!

I notice you didn't actually address the points I made. I can only assume I was right. Well I know I am.

 

[bogusagain]

Yours are filled with hack symbolism that amounts to a blowhard schizo shouting his mouth off in an alleyway. You don't say what you mean but veil it in the "I'm trying really hard to sound like bukowski or beatnik" program.

I meant to add this ealier before I had to do something useful, like make a sale. All you may say is true, my poetry may be even worse than you say, it could be the pits, shit in a garbage can poetry but you know what? unlike yours it is original shit, its not teach the dog a trick kind of shit.

I teach drawing and its astonishing how you can teach someone who can't draw a straightline and convinced they've got no talent, into being able to draw portraits in little more than a week. Well, it isn't astonishing because I tell my students if you can learn to read and write, you can learn to draw because all I'm doing is teaching a dog a trick. Very soon they can mimic old masters, note I say mimic. I tell them from the off, their hardest task is not to learn technique and style but to create a voice of their own because that's when 'teach a dog a trick shit' becomes art. It might end up crap art but at least it is art and not pompous ass blowing dog tricks.

As for my trying hard at being a bukowski beatnik, let's hear your talent as a critic and justify that statement with a few specifics.

 

[twelveoone]

That's such nonsense, saying one person is even capable of derailing a H-train. One hater represents a ten percent min that can't sway any vote more than their single vote. All you have to do is look at the min number of votes I received on any new poem I've posted in the last week and the fact that for every two votes I have a 1. Clockwork, every one of my poems this everyday reader read I got a one as routine, and there's no reason said person would know wby is bflagsst. Which doesn't bother me, as I'm here moreso to share poems and not really concerned with back patting.

Anyway, I wrote these poems when I was 23 over the course of a couple months. It's pretty astonishing that you can train to master an artform and in less than a year have the tools to write greatpoetry 8/10 lines. Doubtful anyone was that familiar with any of my writing to make the connection. It's all the same voicing, same reliance on mid-line poetry technique. Poetry is already simplistic enough, prose just turns it into a brain numbing brick.

There is a difference between craft and art. Excessive reliance on craft is not art. So you can acquire the tools to write "greatpoety" as I can walk to a hardware store and acquire the tools to be either a plumber or a builder.
Read carefully moron, my endorsement of you was for craft.
Everything there is overdone, because it is overdone it is textbook, and bloodless.
And since you've come out of the closet, I don't have to mince words. Your biggest failing is contempt for the audience, and more of a promotion of yourself. It reeks of self love.
Look at the word choices, now how many times did your namesake ask the reader go off the page? Only in Celtic myth.

A simple line

I AM_____________________________________________"You are here"

"You are here" merely is a reader is engaged in reading.

Poetry 101, Where do you want the reader to be? Mostly "You are here", Duh.

True you avoid the obvious early stage mistakes of the "I AM", but the "I AM" is one of the most insidious creeps a writer has to guard against. You don't know where you're at. DO YOU? You can't place yourself in a "mere" readers perspective. That is why you have so much trouble, it is more important to show your talent, your education than to write something that will engage the reader.
Was I impressed, yes with the craft, a big fucking no with the execution.

 

[twelveoone]

and next time, jerk-off, in your epistles about metre, MARK IT OFF. and tell us why YOU don't think it works.

 

[twelveoone]

More is more? My poems are told in plain languauge. Yours are filled with hack symbolism that amounts to a blowhard schizo shouting his mouth off in an alleyway. You don't say what you mean but veil it in the "I'm trying really hard to sound like bukowski or beatnik" program.

Really?
You sound more like the blowhard schizo.

 

[bogusagain]

Really?
You sound more like the blowhard schizo.

At one point I was thinking WBY(the other) was one of your personalities being used as a way of provoking discussion. Which is why I said I hate WBY and said I would come back to the thread once I had debated with myself and come to some conclusion why he creates a very negative visceral reaction in me.

I'm assuming by first blagfsst's reponse and that of WBY(the other) he isn't you, is he?

 

[twelveoone]

That's such nonsense, saying one person is even capable of derailing a H-train. One hater represents a ten percent min that can't sway any vote more than their single vote. All you have to do is look at the min number of votes I received on any new poem I've posted in the last week and the fact that for every two votes I have a 1. Clockwork, every one of my poems this everyday reader read I got a one as routine, and there's no reason said person would know wby is bflagsst. Which doesn't bother me, as I'm here moreso to share poems and not really concerned with back patting.

Anyway, I wrote these poems when I was 23 over the course of a couple months. It's pretty astonishing that you can train to master an artform and in less than a year have the tools to write greatpoetry 8/10 lines. Doubtful anyone was that familiar with any of my writing to make the connection. It's all the same voicing, same reliance on mid-line poetry technique. Poetry is already simplistic enough, prose just turns it into a brain numbing brick.

READ Again, CAREFULLY, WBY.
1. do the fucking math
2. what are you really concerned with? I don't think you are interested much in patting another's back, mainly your own. At which you TRY to throw different brain numbing bricks at. There you will have to get a different brick.
3. you may have the tools again as writing greatpoetry 8/10 lines. I don't think so. It fails because of the patent falsity.

Did you fool me, a little, completely no.

 

[WilliamButlerYeats]

My poetry's been bought and paid for. Sold just shy of 500 copies in a few years on amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1892451506/ref=aw_d_detail?pd=1&qid=1302190550&sr=8-1

I don't need to publish again, have no lofty goals in poetry, I met them before I turned 25. I'm the teacher, if no one's interested they don't have to listen.

 

[twelveoone]

My poetry's been bought and paid for. Sold just shy of 500 copies in a few years on amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1892451506/ref=aw_d_detail?pd=1&qid=1302190550&sr=8-1

I don't need to publish again, have no lofty goals in poetry, I met them before I turned 25. I'm the teacher, if no one's interested they don't have to listen.

wow, so you have nothing to learn? Read again the opening statement MORON.

 

[twelveoone]

My poetry's been bought and paid for. Sold just shy of 500 copies in a few years on amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1892451506/ref=aw_d_detail?pd=1&qid=1302190550&sr=8-1

I don't need to publish again, have no lofty goals in poetry, I met them before I turned 25. I'm the teacher, if no one's interested they don't have to listen.

...and now off to a lofty career in advertisement?

 

[twelveoone]

tah, tah

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

You've a poor memory. I sent you an email congratulating your singular poem and mentioning that I'd read your ME submissions. It was sent from bflagsst. I think that count as commenting on the one poem you got right, no?

Does this mean WGY is also bflagsst?

 

[butters]

well now...

well, well, well


where do i begin?

firstly, i'd suggest it's essential the teacher remains a student - or they stop growing, limiting their ability to teach.

secondly, of course one person's vote can derail an H. i've seen it happen on mine, and on others. one vote is all it takes to reduce an average voting score to below the requisite 4.5.... naturally, if ones poems are receiving many votes, then (obviously) the ratio shifts.

thirdly, i enjoyed the poems submitted under wby - but then i tended to enjoy the poems by bflagsst as well. i still don't find the one here (with its intentional shifts and ensuing awkwardness) palatable in its unfinished state. forcing the intentional switches in rhythm/pace upon it make for an unsatisfactory experience for the reader. the last verse, in particular, feels 'odd'; that, following hard on the heels of the mental adjusting demanded by the transitions between v1 and 2, makes this reader feel there's some confusion as to where this poem's going.

fourthly - lively debate, gentlemen. and yes, i use that term quite loosely

 

[butters]

Does this mean WGY is also bflagsst?

it rather looks that way, tess

but these are poems written some years back, apparently.