This is one that has created some huge rows in the past on other sites,hopefully won't here. I am not active in the BD/SM world, haven't been for a long time, so it isn't something that affects me personally.
The question is, we are told in the BD/SM world to respect other people's kinks, and that it isn't our right to judge others kinks or to perhaps act if you think something is wrong.
At play parties, this is what DM's are for, and if you see something dubious you are supposed to let them know and let them act as appropriate, and that makes sense.
But what about when it isn't at a party? For example, there are extreme D/s or M/s relationships where the M (could be a D, too) has absolute power and they literally, in their eyes, have a relationship where the M or D has the right to literally do anything, including bodily harm (and this is not just theoretical, I know of cases like this where you are talking things like bones broken or even worse, one s had to have her spleen removed bc her M was a jealous fucktard; fortunately, he was charged because the doctors said it wasn't an accident and the level of hurt on her body was abuse, pure and simple).
Recognizing that people have very different notions of relationships, when is it appropriate to step in? (and again, this is purely hypothetical, this forum is about as close as I get to the 'real thing' and has bee that way many years). If you know a M/s pair where you think the s is being abused, do you step in or try and get them help, even if they tell you it is okay? And if so, how is that different than an abused housewife with a black eye claiming she slipped and fell?
And I ask this genuinely, it is something I have thought about over the years. To me, there has to be a point where your kink is okay, period, and where you make a judgement call if you think someone is being abused, that abuse is not kink. Where that line is, if I felt it that strongly, I personally would intercede, I don't think people have the right to consent to real abuse (and yes, that line is not all so clear either..I knew people into pretty heavy punishment/play that do some pretty far out things and could get banged up, yet I didn't feel it was abusive, bc there was care there and they took care of each other.). There is no right answer, I am just curious what people think.
The question is, we are told in the BD/SM world to respect other people's kinks, and that it isn't our right to judge others kinks or to perhaps act if you think something is wrong.
At play parties, this is what DM's are for, and if you see something dubious you are supposed to let them know and let them act as appropriate, and that makes sense.
But what about when it isn't at a party? For example, there are extreme D/s or M/s relationships where the M (could be a D, too) has absolute power and they literally, in their eyes, have a relationship where the M or D has the right to literally do anything, including bodily harm (and this is not just theoretical, I know of cases like this where you are talking things like bones broken or even worse, one s had to have her spleen removed bc her M was a jealous fucktard; fortunately, he was charged because the doctors said it wasn't an accident and the level of hurt on her body was abuse, pure and simple).
Recognizing that people have very different notions of relationships, when is it appropriate to step in? (and again, this is purely hypothetical, this forum is about as close as I get to the 'real thing' and has bee that way many years). If you know a M/s pair where you think the s is being abused, do you step in or try and get them help, even if they tell you it is okay? And if so, how is that different than an abused housewife with a black eye claiming she slipped and fell?
And I ask this genuinely, it is something I have thought about over the years. To me, there has to be a point where your kink is okay, period, and where you make a judgement call if you think someone is being abused, that abuse is not kink. Where that line is, if I felt it that strongly, I personally would intercede, I don't think people have the right to consent to real abuse (and yes, that line is not all so clear either..I knew people into pretty heavy punishment/play that do some pretty far out things and could get banged up, yet I didn't feel it was abusive, bc there was care there and they took care of each other.). There is no right answer, I am just curious what people think.