Unrealistic crap you see in movies that annoys you.

[unregistered]

 

[rapthaysoos]

5 page thread on my first try. I'm half way towards running this town.

 

[Sean]

5 page thread on my first try. I'm half way towards running this town.

I've seen retarded spammers get five pages on here. I wouldn't break your neck patting yourself on the back just yet.

 

[rapthaysoos]

I've seen retarded spammers get five pages on here. I wouldn't break your neck patting yourself on the back just yet.

Ahh, the smell of fear.
The walls are crumbling.
I'm bringing it all down.

 

[ardee1948]

"UNSTOPPABLE" None of that shit is possible with a train. I operate trains for a living and I know it's all crap.

 

[KRCummings]

"UNSTOPPABLE" None of that shit is possible with a train. I operate trains for a living and I know it's all crap.

That is so cool. Do you make all the mountains and buildings yourself or do you buy them pre-made? I bet you wear an engineers hat when you're "operating" them, don't you?

 

[Slick]

or when the hero hacks into a user account and manages to copy all the computer's data onto a memory stick, all within 60 seconds.

 

[Sean Renaud]

When someone dual wield. . .well anything but dual shotguns is just outright.

Whenever being super smart allows something (usually an animal) access to information it simply couldn't have or at least it's not explained how it has. Deep Blue Sea is a great example as the sharks somehow knew that not eating the yummy humans (at least not too fast) would force them to flood the facility and sink it low enough that the soft aluminium fencing above the water line would be exposed.

 

[Slick]

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off and when they leave the industry standard compliant colour coded wiring exposed so it can easily be diffused over the phone.

 

[Sean Renaud]

That's the proper way to build a bomb if you don't want it blowing up your idiot minions.

 

[CaptainKirk]

I hate when the POTUS becomes directly involved in the action, can't remember the movie but there was one where he had to fly an attack mission on an alien craft. It's an annoying throwback to the tribal days when the big man was also the war leader and chieftan.

That was 'Independence Day'. Bill Pullman played the President, they said he was a combat pilot beforehand.

If those bitches would have listened to me, they would have lived.

"Yeah, let's go into that creepy abandoned house and investigate that weird, chainsaw noise coming from it. We'll split up; you go upstairs, you go down into the basement, you check the kitchen, and I'll look around here... alone."

[shakes head] ...mystifying.

Remkes of 1980s movies that believe they're better than the original: I'm talking to you Footloose and Red Dawn

Just goes to show you how much shit Hollywood has on its shelves, eh?

Disappointing, to say the least.

 

[InSlowMotion]

What are you talking about? That happens to me at least twice a day.

One word: flashmobs.

 

[BlueEyesInLevis]

Women, usually some very thin woman with tiny arms, kicking some man's ass.

People getting shot but showing no pain.

Lone wolf against the establishment (usually CIA, military or police).

People shooting and hitting a target (which is usually shooting back at them without aiming.

Martial affairs without consequences.

 

[CandiCame]

How dinosaurs apparently think people are made of crack. I mean seriously they seem to go truly absurd lengths to eat people when there are often slow moving gunless herbivores all over the fucking place. Also how the herbivores are almost always docile when in real life big herbivores have a habit of being genuine dicks.

Herbivores are kinda assholes. They attack you with no intent to eat you. They're just attacking to attack. I know vegitarians are supposed to be all calm and shit, but I sure as hell don't wanna fuck with a rhino.

Except for Rocksteady (or beebop?). He was a dumbass and would probably just hurt himself.

 

[CandiCame]

Musicals. I can suspend my disbelief for just about everything. But when people randomly break out into song, my bullshit detector just goes off and I know it's fake.

This literally does happen to me all the time. I actually already posted about this earlier. What kind of life do you lead where people don't burst into song to communicate?

 

[The_Trouvere]

When I was a child in the movies and television programs I saw the good guy always won fights, regardless of the odds. When I was about eight years old I got into my first fist fight. I lost. I could not understand why, because I was good.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Trouv, you're a fucking socialist. If you got in a gang raped by Hitler, Stalin, Saddam and Lucifer you'd be the bad guy for making them do the majority of the work.

 

[Recidiva]

5 page thread on my first try. I'm half way towards running this town.

"I started a thread on the internet encouraging people to complain. Genius!"

 

[Sean Renaud]

"I started a thread on the internet encouraging people to complain. Genius!"

We're supposed to be complaining about unrealistic things in movies that annoy us, not realistic things in movies that never seem to happen.

 

[CHNOPS]

In the books that I've been reading,
they say exactly what they mean,
They don't say uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
They don't stutter, they don't mutter.
They don't repeat themselves.
They don't repeat themselves.
They know exactly what they're doing, they know why.

Who are these people? Where do they live?
They have so much to offer, they have so much to give.
Who are these people? What do they know that I don't know?
Who are they?

In the movies I've been watching, everyone's beautiful,
Unless they're ugly and then they're really ugly.
Acting like it all makes sense to be doing what they do,
They don't act anything at all like me and you.
Who are these people? Where do they live?
I haven't met them in my travels, never went to school with them.
Where are these keen minds with their perfect sentences,
Calm and collected, so full of confidence?
They're not sick unless they're dying,
They don't watch too much TV,
Their life's so action-packed that they may never get to sleep.

Who are these people?
What do they know that I don't know?
Who are they?

Recycle perfumed pages of a glossy magazine.
Swim the random channels of remote control.
Run a music marathon on late night radio,
A family photo album of the people I don't know.

Who are these people? Where do they live?
I haven't met them in my travels, never went to school with them.
Where are these keen minds with their perfect sentences,
Calm and collected, so full of confidence?
Who are these people? What do they know that I don't know?
Who are they?

--Trout Fishing in America

 

[CandiCame]

Trouv, you're a fucking socialist. If you got in a gang raped by Hitler, Stalin, Saddam and Lucifer you'd be the bad guy for making them do the majority of the work.

That's a fic waiting to happen.

There was a pic on my tumblr today that this reminded me of. It was a pic of pancakes that said, "Like if you love pancakes. Ignore if you like being raped by Lucipher."

That was a tough decision. In the end, I decided to ignore it.

 

[zipman]

Let's add relationships that end with a sense of closure.

 

[killallhippies]

In the books that I've been reading,
they say exactly what they mean,
They don't say uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
They don't stutter, they don't mutter.
They don't repeat themselves.
They don't repeat themselves.
They know exactly what they're doing, they know why.

Who are these people? Where do they live?
They have so much to offer, they have so much to give.
Who are these people? What do they know that I don't know?
Who are they?

In the movies I've been watching, everyone's beautiful,
Unless they're ugly and then they're really ugly.
Acting like it all makes sense to be doing what they do,
They don't act anything at all like me and you.
Who are these people? Where do they live?
I haven't met them in my travels, never went to school with them.
Where are these keen minds with their perfect sentences,
Calm and collected, so full of confidence?
They're not sick unless they're dying,
They don't watch too much TV,
Their life's so action-packed that they may never get to sleep.

Who are these people?
What do they know that I don't know?
Who are they?

Recycle perfumed pages of a glossy magazine.
Swim the random channels of remote control.
Run a music marathon on late night radio,
A family photo album of the people I don't know.

Who are these people? Where do they live?
I haven't met them in my travels, never went to school with them.
Where are these keen minds with their perfect sentences,
Calm and collected, so full of confidence?
Who are these people? What do they know that I don't know?
Who are they?

--Trout Fishing in America

not really connected, but fucking hell, you just made me think of something i haven't thought about in ages: richard brautigan.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

That's the proper way to build a bomb if you don't want it blowing up your idiot minions.

Speaking of minions, that's another movie cliche that irks me. The more-sinister-than-evil-itself villain is always backed by a busy-as-bees labor force feverishly buzzing around in the background.

I always find myself wondering whether or not they work three shifts. Do they go home to their families at the end of a hard day trying to take over the world? What's the pension plan like? Do they get an uninhabited pimple of an island in the Pacific if their boss is successful? Did they all answer the same classified ad: "Wanted -- Data Analysts, automotive techs with fleet vehicle maintenance experience, security guards and consultants experienced in enhanced interrogations. Multiple positions open to support ruthlessly ambitious international criminal conspiracy committed to rapid future growth. Active security clearances not required. Applicants without AT LEAST two prior felony convictions need not apply. Resumes to SPECTRE HR, Box 666, Damascus, Syria. No calls."

 

[RjThoughts]

Someone holding a rifle to their shoulder, shooting it for the first time, and NOT getting a shoulder burise or a black eye.