The "I Didn't Get Laid Today" Thread

[Svenskaflicka]

My closest thing to getting fucked last month was when I was stood up by a two-night-stand who threatened to visit me.

The guy is a spitting image of a Swedish actor, but I don't find teenage behaviour attractive in a 35yo man.

 

[BigJim68]

I found an outlet for a couple weeks, but alas, she seems to have moved on....so I'm back...my cot still available?

 

[TitianaPeaks]

Not in a little over a week

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I haven't even seen a singe woman in weeks.

 

[Munachi]

what is a singe woman?

anyway, i am still here.

 

[XsNrg]

I am this evening..........

 

[poppy_cock]

what is a singe woman?

A woman who forgot to blow out the candle before using it as a dildo?

Sigh.

(and nope, not today, dammit...)

 

[Sandy_Fox]

I'm new here, but this is the God damnest thread I have ever seen! Ya'll are bragging about not getting laid?

 

[NoJo]

I'm new here, but this is the God damnest thread I have ever seen! Ya'll are bragging about not getting laid?

No, we're a support group

 

[Sandy_Fox]

No, we're a support group

What the hell are you supporting Abstinence?

 

[fieryjen]

No, we're a support group

Hello, my name is Jen, and I haven't gotten laid today.

*cue choir of "Hi Jen"*

 

[kiba]

nope

 

[JagFarlane]

Hello, my name is Jen, and I haven't gotten laid today.

*cue choir of "Hi Jen"*

"Hi Jen, what a lovely shirt you have on today"

 

[JuicyBoom]

Oh, me - noob in the house......I got none today either, but that is because I married a nun - nun in the morning, nun in the evening, and nun at night.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

My biggest problem isn't that I can't GET any, my problem is that I can't find a guy that I actually want to have it WITH.

Except that adorable guy I saw last week. Rugged yet cute, manly and tall and muscular, and with a deeeeeeeeeeeeep voice. I would have jumped him, but there were too many people waiting for the bus.

 

[Munachi]

A woman who forgot to blow out the candle before using it as a dildo?

Sigh.

(and nope, not today, dammit...)

ah... that explains it... i haven't seen any of those lately either.

 

[Munachi]

My biggest problem isn't that I can't GET any, my problem is that I can't find a guy that I actually want to have it WITH.

Except that adorable guy I saw last week. Rugged yet cute, manly and tall and muscular, and with a deeeeeeeeeeeeep voice. I would have jumped him, but there were too many people waiting for the bus.

yeah i know the problem... if sex with just anyone was all i wanted, i guess i could be getting laid right now... but it's very hard to find someone that interests me... and then, when i can actually think of someone i would like to have sex with, and might even know it would be good, it is not a good idea for one reason or the other...

 

[fieryjen]

yeah i know the problem... if sex with just anyone was all i wanted, i guess i could be getting laid right now... but it's very hard to find someone that interests me... and then, when i can actually think of someone i would like to have sex with, and might even know it would be good, it is not a good idea for one reason or the other...

It's also not helpful when you've made vows to stay faithful to one person, and that person isn't around.

I hope you find a guy soon who fulfills your criteria.

 

[Munachi]

thanks... well i had thought i found him, which now just makes it harder... ah well...

but yeah, i also know the feeling of not having the person where you are...

 

[CWatson]

So, I saw that girl I like.

She was kissing a guy.

He wasn't me.



(Nope, nada for today. Even better, I tossed and turned until 5 AM and then had to get up at 9 for five hours of classes with a half-hour lunch in between. I'm going to be having a word with the fairy who distributes the sleeping dust.)

 

[Munachi]

sorry... well, maybe you meet another girl you like? or she realizes she would be kissing you rather?

nothing for me either...

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'm staying home tonight too. Not just because of the apartment being a total mess, but because some morons broke into my car last week and wrecked the ignition - no, kiddies, this ISN'T the type of car you start by shoving a screwdriver into the hole and twisting it around.

They left a monkey wrench behind, but they stole a canvas bag I had forgotten in the car. Serves them right. There was cat pee on it.


(Yes, I have incontinent cats!)

 

[fieryjen]

I'm about to go break out the electrical toothbrush again.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Toothbrush? Too small! I'm spoiled, I want something like the leg of a table. Now, to figure out how to make it vibrate...

 

[fieryjen]

Toothbrush? Too small! I'm spoiled, I want something like the leg of a table. Now, to figure out how to make it vibrate...

No, no, it's all about those nicely vibrating bristles...

Paired with a vibrator or a zucchini or whatever else is handy.