Service Submission

[BiBunny]

So I'm updating this today because we kind of touched on the subject a little during a text message exchange. I am a coward and still haven't had the nerve to come right out and have a real talk with him about it yet, but what we discussed briefly today was worth updating the thread for, I believe.

I texted him earlier to see how he was. I haven't been sleeping well lately--no reason, just a side effect of being a bipolar with multiple sleep disorders--so we were both lamenting about how tired we were.

I told him it felt my brain was swimming through molasses, trying to get things done, and I asked if he ever felt that way. He said yes, that's why he can never get his house clean. I told him my offer to help with that was still good. He said that he appreciated it, and I teasingly said, "You have a service-oriented kitten, Daddy. You should use her to your advantage."

His reply was pretty telling. He said, "It's a matter of having the energy to entertain."

Yeah, pretty sure I called that one months ago.

I explained to him that he didn't have to entertain me, and I never wanted him to feel like he has to perform for me. I told him I would be happy just coming over, rubbing his back, putting him to bed, and going home.

He said, "Thank you, kitten," and then the conversation went elsewhere. But I hope I got my point across. One day, I'll have the balls to have a Real Conversation with him about it (maybe), but for now, I'm gonna hope he understands what I was saying.

 

[cascadiabound]

So I'm updating this today because we kind of touched on the subject a little during a text message exchange. I am a coward and still haven't had the nerve to come right out and have a real talk with him about it yet, but what we discussed briefly today was worth updating the thread for, I believe.

I texted him earlier to see how he was. I haven't been sleeping well lately--no reason, just a side effect of being a bipolar with multiple sleep disorders--so we were both lamenting about how tired we were.

I told him it felt my brain was swimming through molasses, trying to get things done, and I asked if he ever felt that way. He said yes, that's why he can never get his house clean. I told him my offer to help with that was still good. He said that he appreciated it, and I teasingly said, "You have a service-oriented kitten, Daddy. You should use her to your advantage."

His reply was pretty telling. He said, "It's a matter of having the energy to entertain."

Yeah, pretty sure I called that one months ago.

I explained to him that he didn't have to entertain me, and I never wanted him to feel like he has to perform for me. I told him I would be happy just coming over, rubbing his back, putting him to bed, and going home.

He said, "Thank you, kitten," and then the conversation went elsewhere. But I hope I got my point across. One day, I'll have the balls to have a Real Conversation with him about it (maybe), but for now, I'm gonna hope he understands what I was saying.

Have you seen any discussions about "Meta Talks"?
This is a tool to create a space to talk about your dynamic, your and his needs. @Mrtenant may have a link to some resources you could share with your Daddy to help you do this. He needs your courage and honesty and you need a safe space for a big conversation.

 

[BiBunny]

Have you seen any discussions about "Meta Talks"?
This is a tool to create a space to talk about your dynamic, your and his needs. @Mrtenant may have a link to some resources you could share with your Daddy to help you do this. He needs your courage and honesty and you need a safe space for a big conversation.

I have not heard of that before, to be honest with you. Anything y'all have to offer, I'll be happy to take a look at!

 

[Mrtenant]

I have not heard of that before, to be honest with you. Anything y'all have to offer, I'll be happy to take a look at!

Hiya BB, ....I found I had been tagged. I can find some links if you like. I dont have them handy as of this typing...but I will
https://www.kinkweekly.com/article-jenn/meta-communication/

https://at.tumblr.com/anotherbeardeddom/bdsm-links-and-resources/dw0mqp9qhrbx

http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/metatalk.htm#:~:text=%22Metatalk%22%20is%20talking%20about%20communicating,and%20improve%20what%20doesn't.

https://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1160&chapter=1...this is who I first heard about and is highly illustrative.

https://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewuser.php?uid=1879....more resources



Meta Talk...as I learned about it and have found it a highly useful tool in this type of relationship. Works like this:

Either one of you can call for a MetaTalk, if not right away, then schedule it. In this talk, ...safewords apply, either of you must feel free to use it. And it is expected to be an indepth conversation about whatever is the agenda, especially how to communicate. These can be difficult conversations, there may be tears, anger, but it is also a safe zone. Daddy needs to be at the top of his game and also give you space to be equal. It is almost as if the power dynamic is somewhat suspended as you negotiate through the difficulty- whatever it may be. The sub does not want to be seen as challenging the Dom, but some communications need to happen. Once it is solved, call the Metatalk ended. You can even make a ceremony out if it.

Gather information, ask questions, reflect, make decisions. Both parties should mutually agree on how to move forward. Test it on small issues. Get familiar with using the tool as intended. It really has to be a tool in your toolbox in this type of relationship. Or something like it.

The first time I had ever done this, I had no idea about anything D/s. I had an issue with my younger sister who I was helping survive being a teen mom. I lit a couple small candles, and called the meeting. We talked. Sorted our shit. When I put the candles out, the Talk was over. I was 20yo at the time.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Meta Talk...as I learned about it and have found it a highly useful tool in this type of relationship

Never had a name for it before.
Yes, really useful!

 

[BiBunny]

Hiya BB, ....I found I had been tagged. I can find some links if you like. I dont have them handy as of this typing...but I will
https://www.kinkweekly.com/article-jenn/meta-communication/

https://at.tumblr.com/anotherbeardeddom/bdsm-links-and-resources/dw0mqp9qhrbx

http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/metatalk.htm#:~:text=%22Metatalk%22%20is%20talking%20about%20communicating,and%20improve%20what%20doesn't.

https://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=1160&chapter=1...this is who I first heard about and is highly illustrative.

https://thebdsmgarden.com/efiction/viewuser.php?uid=1879....more resources



Meta Talk...as I learned about it and have found it a highly useful tool in this type of relationship. Works like this:

Either one of you can call for a MetaTalk, if not right away, then schedule it. In this talk, ...safewords apply, either of you must feel free to use it. And it is expected to be an indepth conversation about whatever is the agenda, especially how to communicate. These can be difficult conversations, there may be tears, anger, but it is also a safe zone. Daddy needs to be at the top of his game and also give you space to be equal. It is almost as if the power dynamic is somewhat suspended as you negotiate through the difficulty- whatever it may be. The sub does not want to be seen as challenging the Dom, but some communications need to happen. Once it is solved, call the Metatalk ended. You can even make a ceremony out if it.

Gather information, ask questions, reflect, make decisions. Both parties should mutually agree on how to move forward. Test it on small issues. Get familiar with using the tool as intended. It really has to be a tool in your toolbox in this type of relationship. Or something like it.

The first time I had ever done this, I had no idea about anything D/s. I had an issue with my younger sister who I was helping survive being a teen mom. I lit a couple small candles, and called the meeting. We talked. Sorted our shit. When I put the candles out, the Talk was over. I was 20yo at the time.

This is a great idea. As to when we can ever make it happen, though, that's another story.

Thank you for the info and the links. I'm gonna check them out!

 

[Older_Pervert]

So I'm updating this today because we kind of touched on the subject a little during a text message exchange. I am a coward and still haven't had the nerve to come right out and have a real talk with him about it yet, but what we discussed briefly today was worth updating the thread for, I believe.

I texted him earlier to see how he was. I haven't been sleeping well lately--no reason, just a side effect of being a bipolar with multiple sleep disorders--so we were both lamenting about how tired we were.

I told him it felt my brain was swimming through molasses, trying to get things done, and I asked if he ever felt that way. He said yes, that's why he can never get his house clean. I told him my offer to help with that was still good. He said that he appreciated it, and I teasingly said, "You have a service-oriented kitten, Daddy. You should use her to your advantage."

His reply was pretty telling. He said, "It's a matter of having the energy to entertain."

Yeah, pretty sure I called that one months ago.

I explained to him that he didn't have to entertain me, and I never wanted him to feel like he has to perform for me. I told him I would be happy just coming over, rubbing his back, putting him to bed, and going home.

He said, "Thank you, kitten," and then the conversation went elsewhere. But I hope I got my point across. One day, I'll have the balls to have a Real Conversation with him about it (maybe), but for now, I'm gonna hope he understands what I was saying.

I’m sorry to say this bunny, but this sounds very like the triumph of hope over experience . I wish you luck, but with trepidation!

 

[BiBunny]

I’m sorry to say this bunny, but this sounds very like the triumph of hope over experience . I wish you luck, but with trepidation!

Oh, well, if nothing comes to fruition, I guess I'll be no worse off than I was before.