Puns

[Ask For More]

When the trucker tried to salvage metal from batteries, he was overcome by D-cell fumes and threw up in the zinc.

That must have been a negatively charged memory.

 

[done_got_old]

 

[mnbreastluver]

I swear I thought of an ice pun, but it just slipped my mind

 

[done_got_old]

I swear I thought of an ice pun, but it just slipped my mind

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

 

[done_got_old]

How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.

 

[mnbreastluver]

The sea shore is the worst place to sell sea shells.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I put my grandma on speed dial in my phone, the entry is "instagram."

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Someone stole my coffee this morning! It was a bad mugging!

 

[lakesailer_mi]

The other day I held the door open for a clown, I thought it was a nice jester.

 

[done_got_old]

Obituaries of those hanged in the old west used to be posted in the noose paper.

 

[done_got_old]

What happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?
U.C.L.A.

 

[bunny4med]

what do pirates pay for earrings?

Buccaneer

 

[mnbreastluver]

There should be an air freshener with the slogan ‘It makes scents’

 

[Cymru6969]

All of the toilets were stolen from a local police station. When asked about leads, a detective replied, "We have nothing to go on."

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you place a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room you can wirelessly transmit water

 

[done_got_old]

I want to become a mime. Does that sound like a good idea?

 

[angelofthenorth]

my friend was going to go ballooning, but he's just so full of hot air !

 

[mnbreastluver]

All guys are chick magnets. It just depends on which way their poles are facing

 

[done_got_old]

People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When Larry drove his expensive car into a tree, he found out how the Mercedes-Bends.

 

[done_got_old]

Why should you never throw away an old dolphin? Because they can easily be re-porpoised!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Saying “you’re welcome” is basically a thank you for a “thank you”

 

[Ask For More]

 

[mnbreastluver]

If ghosts have sex, are they soul mating?