Open for feedback on Winner Winner, Sinner Sinner

[craycrayclay]

Sup ya buncha LITheads!

I'm creating this thread for an open discussio/feedback on my first (of what will be many more) "true fiction" story about what it's like being the only one among friends who's mom everyone considers a MILF, which she is completely aware of.

NOTE: none of the MY ANNOYINGLY HOT MOM stories contain NO INCEST; all names, save mine, have been chased to on me.

I'd like do somethig innovate here: I"m including a few pics that feature one of the celebrities my annoyingly hot mom gets compared to and I've "cast" as Claudia. The pics act as a visual aid for certain moments in WINNER WINNER, SINNER SINNER. I've cropped her head/face from the pics as to adhere to rules.

I'm asking to give it a chance as a meeting of media meant to enhance the reader's experience.

Here's the link to WINNER WINNER, SINNER SINNER

https://www.literotica.com/s/winner-winner-sinner-sinner

AND
here's the pics with brief synopsis for each


1600-6: Claudia beaming with confidence arrives at the party
1600-5: Claudia isn't pleased to see her son's new fried has shown up.
1600-2: Claudia enjoying being he center of attention
1611-1: Claudia and Brad clash
1600-4: Claudia loses her composure just before losing a lot more

 

[8letters]

Too short. The story ended just when it was just getting interesting.

 

[craycrayclay]

Always leave your reader wanting more is the mark of a good writer. Perfect feedback, thanks.