femboitessa
Daydreamer
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2023
- Posts
- 19
Hi Everyone,
I published my first poem, and I'm a little nervous about this post, but it would be lovely if someone could give me some feedback. Was there anything I could have done better? Here is the poem:
I've knelt at the feet of men,
tasted the weight of their souls.
My tongue carries the imprint
Of their fire.
And I have swum in the waters
Of petalled lakes, between the two rivers of women's thighs,
And fed on their pain.
And on the tops of mountains,
Where the low sky sings,
She kissed me with the blue
Sickle of the moon, as I opened
The darkness of the netherworld.
And now, in the rag and bone
Shop of my love's ruin,
I stand encased in your shadow.
Will you fill me?
I long to ooze like a Vesuvius,
It's white hot lava,
Burning me, resurrecting me.
Ok, so, please be brutal, honest...ok, perhaps not so brutal...my femsoul may never survive it...
Thank you all! Even just for taking the time to read all this dribble!!
Love you all!
tess
I published my first poem, and I'm a little nervous about this post, but it would be lovely if someone could give me some feedback. Was there anything I could have done better? Here is the poem:
I've knelt at the feet of men,
tasted the weight of their souls.
My tongue carries the imprint
Of their fire.
And I have swum in the waters
Of petalled lakes, between the two rivers of women's thighs,
And fed on their pain.
And on the tops of mountains,
Where the low sky sings,
She kissed me with the blue
Sickle of the moon, as I opened
The darkness of the netherworld.
And now, in the rag and bone
Shop of my love's ruin,
I stand encased in your shadow.
Will you fill me?
I long to ooze like a Vesuvius,
It's white hot lava,
Burning me, resurrecting me.
Ok, so, please be brutal, honest...ok, perhaps not so brutal...my femsoul may never survive it...
Thank you all! Even just for taking the time to read all this dribble!!
Love you all!
tess