Most Degraded

[anguishINMI]

It has recently come to my attention that my wife has been cheating on me again. We have been through this a few times but this is the last straw for me. If history is any indicator I will confront her, she will cry, admit it and apologize then I will forgive her. Unfortunately for her I am no longer willing to forgive her and we are headed to divorce this time. That said, I have been humiliated enough and I am ready to do the same to her. What I really want to do is slowly up the ante in terms of degradation until she has gone much further than she would have ever expected and eventually says fine give me the divorce papers I can't do this any longer but she will have to live with the fact that she did this and that before getting there, yes this is vindictive. Yes I am probably going to hell, no I will not physically harm her.

So I am here looking for input/ideas from you.

Right now I am thinking that I will start by telling her she is clearly a bitch, which she will admit to. So I am going to treat her like one for a week, I will take her to a pet store, we do not own any pets, and make her find a dog collar that fits around her neck, then I will get a leash. As soon as we are outside the doors of the store she will put both on. When we get home she will only be allowed to walk around the house on all fours, will be served meals on the floor without utensils, will only be able to kiss me from the waist down, she will sleep on the floor next to the bed. At some point we will take it public and I will tie her up outside of a store while I go in and go shopping. The entire time she can tap out by signing the papers, it is her choice the whole time to continue or not.

If she persists, I might decide the next week that she is just a toilet, you can imagine what this would entail...

So do you have suggestions? What was a humiliating/degrading thing that you did or had done to you that still looking back you feel like how did I ever let myself do that?

 

[LadyVer]

How about just getting a divorce and getting on with your life? Save your energy for getting on with your life and for the changes ahead, and finding new interests...

 

[Aquagal]

It has recently come to my attention that my wife has been cheating on me again. We have been through this a few times but this is the last straw for me. If history is any indicator I will confront her, she will cry, admit it and apologize then I will forgive her. Unfortunately for her I am no longer willing to forgive her and we are headed to divorce this time. That said, I have been humiliated enough and I am ready to do the same to her. What I really want to do is slowly up the ante in terms of degradation until she has gone much further than she would have ever expected and eventually says fine give me the divorce papers I can't do this any longer but she will have to live with the fact that she did this and that before getting there, yes this is vindictive. Yes I am probably going to hell, no I will not physically harm her.

So I am here looking for input/ideas from you.

Right now I am thinking that I will start by telling her she is clearly a bitch, which she will admit to. So I am going to treat her like one for a week, I will take her to a pet store, we do not own any pets, and make her find a dog collar that fits around her neck, then I will get a leash. As soon as we are outside the doors of the store she will put both on. When we get home she will only be allowed to walk around the house on all fours, will be served meals on the floor without utensils, will only be able to kiss me from the waist down, she will sleep on the floor next to the bed. At some point we will take it public and I will tie her up outside of a store while I go in and go shopping. The entire time she can tap out by signing the papers, it is her choice the whole time to continue or not.

If she persists, I might decide the next week that she is just a toilet, you can imagine what this would entail...

So do you have suggestions? What was a humiliating/degrading thing that you did or had done to you that still looking back you feel like how did I ever let myself do that?

What makes you think she will let you treat her as such, what if she refuses?

 

[Ima_Reader]

Seems to me that you could have divorced her last time and saved you a trip to the pet store.

 

[garyr19680]

Sounds more like a fantasy - like what you see in the comments in a LW story.

The other poster said it, just divorce her and get on with life, take the high road.

 

[horrorotica]

Agreed, revenge is a hollow victory, and will not stop the pain you feel. Just divorce her, and get on with your life. The best revenge is to leave, and make the most of your life.

 

[anguishINMI]

Thank you all for your input, as I awake today broken but knowing that I must go to work soon and somehow must numb all emotion, I am inclined to see it your way. Our divorce will be very quick and easy and I realize that my future is brighter without her than with her but my heart still feels torn so I guess this is where the vengeful attitude comes from. I have never done anything like I described to anyone and I suppose I never will. Any ideas what will stop the pain I feel?

 

[SoulWeavinGirl]

Thank you all for your input, as I awake today broken but knowing that I must go to work soon and somehow must numb all emotion, I am inclined to see it your way. Our divorce will be very quick and easy and I realize that my future is brighter without her than with her but my heart still feels torn so I guess this is where the vengeful attitude comes from. I have never done anything like I described to anyone and I suppose I never will. Any ideas what will stop the pain I feel?

Time. A lot of it.

 

[anguishINMI]

Time. A lot of it.

This is not the answer I was hoping for but I do realize it might be the only correct one.

 

[thedarkestfairy]

Thank you all for your input, as I awake today broken but knowing that I must go to work soon and somehow must numb all emotion, I am inclined to see it your way. Our divorce will be very quick and easy and I realize that my future is brighter without her than with her but my heart still feels torn so I guess this is where the vengeful attitude comes from. I have never done anything like I described to anyone and I suppose I never will. Any ideas what will stop the pain I feel?

Reach out to new people Great start!! You can get through it~if she's a cheater let her go. I somehow think You can find someone who means much more to act out Your fantasies with....Then You can enjoy Your pleasures thoroughly without the taint of guilt.... Best of luck!!!!

 

[SwtSassyNrse26]

Revenge is a poison. Revenge is like drinking poison expecting the other person to get sick.

I agree, take a step back. Analyze where you want to go to reclaim your happiness. Cut the ties and move on....

I wish you all the best. Life isn't easy but fortunately we where created very strong ...

 

[Prince Albert]

Revenge is a poison. Revenge is like drinking poison expecting the other person to get sick.

I agree, take a step back. Analyze where you want to go to reclaim your happiness. Cut the ties and move on....

I wish you all the best. Life isn't easy but fortunately we where created very strong ...

Yes good thoughts from everybody. Move on! Revenge may solund good, but feels terrible in the long run. (Morning SSN!!)

 

[TJReilly]

It has recently come to my attention that my wife has been cheating on me again. We have been through this a few times but this is the last straw for me. If history is any indicator I will confront her, she will cry, admit it and apologize then I will forgive her. Unfortunately for her I am no longer willing to forgive her and we are headed to divorce this time. That said, I have been humiliated enough and I am ready to do the same to her. What I really want to do is slowly up the ante in terms of degradation until she has gone much further than she would have ever expected and eventually says fine give me the divorce papers I can't do this any longer but she will have to live with the fact that she did this and that before getting there, yes this is vindictive. Yes I am probably going to hell, no I will not physically harm her.

So I am here looking for input/ideas from you.

Right now I am thinking that I will start by telling her she is clearly a bitch, which she will admit to. So I am going to treat her like one for a week, I will take her to a pet store, we do not own any pets, and make her find a dog collar that fits around her neck, then I will get a leash. As soon as we are outside the doors of the store she will put both on. When we get home she will only be allowed to walk around the house on all fours, will be served meals on the floor without utensils, will only be able to kiss me from the waist down, she will sleep on the floor next to the bed. At some point we will take it public and I will tie her up outside of a store while I go in and go shopping. The entire time she can tap out by signing the papers, it is her choice the whole time to continue or not.

If she persists, I might decide the next week that she is just a toilet, you can imagine what this would entail...

So do you have suggestions? What was a humiliating/degrading thing that you did or had done to you that still looking back you feel like how did I ever let myself do that?

Why divorce? You're going to lose half of what you own, and what your wife doesn't take, the lawyers will. On top of that, you're going to go to court and be treated like a piece of shit. And if you have kids, you are going to take it up the poop-shoot for child support. And if that's not bad enough, you're going to mope around for the next six months until you get horny and start looking for a new lover. And your wife, or ex wife, is going to go through the same thing. Instead of throwing your life away, maybe you just need to change your attitude. Both you and your wife are going to look for new lovers, so why not look for new lovers together. It's not like you're opposed kink: for Christ's sake your posting on Lit for marital advice. Stop being so possessive and explore what life has to offer. There is anything out there you can possibly want, three-way, swinging, voyeurism, wife-swapping, etc., anything you want. Explore life while you still have someone to explore it with. Talk to your wife, and start sharing your common interest: SEX! She's going to be fucking someone else anyway, so why not seize the opportunity to get a piece of the action for yourself?

Life dumps a golden opportunity in your lap and what do you do? Get your feelings hurt and want to take off. Read these threads and see how many men wish their wives would join them in kink. Seize the opportunity Dude!

 

[Himself128]

It is hard to imagine your pain man.

Having gone through a divorce my recommendation to friends is to take the high road if possible. Understandably you are filled with anger and humiliation. It is motivating your fantasies and possibly decisions. Try to imagine 20 years from now and how you would want your family to reflect upon how you handled yourself...and how you would like to feel about yourself. This is especially the case if you have kids or other close family.

Plus, I would always rather have a woman who wants to wear a collar than one who is blackmailed into doing so.

Any ideas as to what you think motivates this behavior on her part.

Take care and I wish the best for you.

 

[thedarkestfairy]

It is hard to imagine your pain man.

Having gone through a divorce my recommendation to friends is to take the high road if possible. Understandably you are filled with anger and humiliation. It is motivating your fantasies and possibly decisions. Try to imagine 20 years from now and how you would want your family to reflect upon how you handled yourself...and how you would like to feel about yourself. This is especially the case if you have kids or other close family.

Plus, I would always rather have a woman who wants to wear a collar than one who is blackmailed into doing so.

Any ideas as to what you think motivates this behavior on her part.

Take care and I wish the best for you.

i was thinking the same thing....A collar can mean so much when it is a mutual desire....Why ruin it??

 

[IARainman]

First of all, I'm sorry for your pain. Seems like you've tried to be giving and forgiving.

Second, thanks for coming to your senses. Your fantasy may be better served in a willing play partner some time.

Third, as for the pain, I agree, time. But spend your time ingesting yourself in good rather than wallowing in your own pain. Find a cause that needs your attention, whether it's kids with cancer or abused animals or homeless people, whatever you can be palate about and give. It will help you remember that no matter how much this relationship was dysfunctional, it was, in the end still just a relationship. You are capable of doing so much good and it should warm your heart to give.

 

[TJReilly]

I would always rather have a woman who wants to wear a collar than one who is blackmailed into doing so.

What difference does it make how she's collared when the end result is the same. This isn't the first time she has cheated. Some women need a strong hand to keep them straight when they start to stray. Maybe anguishINMI just isn't strong enough as a man to keep his wife at home. Ask some of these subs why they want to be collared. To be truly happy in life, they need a strong hand to guide them. Maybe she is a woman who needs a Dominant man to make her happy. Just because she cheated on anguishINMI, doesn't mean he is completely innocent. He could be just as much to blame as she is. Women who are happy with their husband don't cheat.

 

[Himself128]

What difference does it make how she's collared when the end result is the same. This isn't the first time she has cheated. Some women need a strong hand to keep them straight when they start to stray. Maybe anguishINMI just isn't strong enough as a man to keep his wife at home. Ask some of these subs why they want to be collared. To be truly happy in life, they need a strong hand to guide them. Maybe she is a woman who needs a Dominant man to make her happy. Just because she cheated on anguishINMI, doesn't mean he is completely innocent. He could be just as much to blame as she is. Women who are happy with their husband don't cheat.

Well I am in agreement with the last three sentences, he may be a contributor to the problem and generally people who are happy with one another have better odds of staying together. However for what it is worth there is a difference with regard to whether she is willing to be collared or not. If she only agrees because he threatens divorce I wouldn't bank on his or her life being very happy. But for some people bad choices are a repeated way of life and two unhappy people staying together is an unlikely long term match. But each to their own.

By the way, what do you mean when you say a "strong hand"?

 

[TJReilly]

By the way, what do you mean when you say a "strong hand"?

A strong hand that guides, not a strong hand the hits.

 

[anguishINMI]

First of all, I'm sorry for your pain. Seems like you've tried to be giving and forgiving.

Second, thanks for coming to your senses. Your fantasy may be better served in a willing play partner some time.

Third, as for the pain, I agree, time. But spend your time ingesting yourself in good rather than wallowing in your own pain. Find a cause that needs your attention, whether it's kids with cancer or abused animals or homeless people, whatever you can be palate about and give. It will help you remember that no matter how much this relationship was dysfunctional, it was, in the end still just a relationship. You are capable of doing so much good and it should warm your heart to give.

I wanted to respond to so many of the posts here but chose to single out this one because of the great irony of it. After a 12 hour day researching cancer I am not willing to put forth the effort to answer everyones post. That said, I would like to thank IARainman for his kind and thoughtful answer.

What I find particularly amusing about the post quoted above is that both my wife and I are cancer researchers. In order to best use our training and skill sets we made the difficult decision to accept positions in vastly different parts of the country, I actually turned down a position that would have kept us together because it was squandering my talents. I do not know why we were given brains that have the ability to understand complicated biology and chemistry but we were and to not put them to the best use we could find seemed like cheating humanity. We chose to sacrafice our personal happiness, marriage, children and money to pursue these careers because curing the breast cancer of a woman we will never meet or the prostate cancer of a man we will never meet is more important than our happiness. To pursue a life together not making a positive difference in the world would be to say "fuck you cancer patient, your life is worth less than my happiness" we are unwilling to do this. I have plenty of motivation to work 60 hour weeks while being paid for 40, money or fame do not motivate me, the thought that today could be the day that the breakthrough is coming makes me want to skip sleeping tonight to run back to work and try the next idea.

Another post mentioned something to the effect of pursue this as an open relationship. That is actually how it started, we moved apart for the reasons above and realized that sex one weekend a month wasn't working for us. She got a boyfriend and they fell in love. Maybe an open relationship can work if you live together, get to see one another after dates, get to cuddle each night or at least ensure that your spouse isn't sleeping with the side person everynight for weeks at a time. However, if you are doing a long distance relationship and trying to have an open relationship that is a recipe for disaster, please if you value the relationship do not do that. I'd actually go so far as to say if you value the relationship do not live apart, anything can happen. Just be careful what you wish for, what starts off as fun and games can in the blink of an eye turn into a very painful situation.

Finally, to all of you who have been supportive, offered sound advice, tried to calm me, and treated me with compassion, THANK YOU. For those of you who have chosen to be negative to make assumptions about me, I will still go to work tomorrow and look for a cure for the disease that is likely to affect you or a loved one at some point but please try to be humane. That sounds funny after what I wrote in a scared, sobbing rage yesterday but upon even mild reflection I realize how wrong those thoughts and feelings were. I do hope that somewhere a brilliant researcher is working on one size fits all shoes. The kind that allow (and ideally compel) anyone who starts to judge or lash out at another person to immediately trade places with them and see things from their perspective. I think two things would be immediately noticed, what a bummer it is to be faced with a person who just wants to tear you down without realizing your situation and that all people deserve to be treated with respect and kindness even if she is blatantly cheating on you in front of your family, friends and colleagues. This is the path I will pursue with her, thanks in large part to the kind and generous responses I received in my time of need.

 

[LadyVer]

Know anything about MALT lymphoma by chance?

Humans are weird, and we're all imperfect. Relationships are hard enough without having distance involved. Sometimes, what we see as dedication and helping others, is not a great factor for long-term relationships. But, I'm sure I don't need to say that.\

When the pain in a relationship gets too great, you have to ask yourself if the relationship is worth it. And I'm not a believer in payback because it usually ends up causing more pain and repercussions than necessary. And no matter how good a job is or how much you're helping others, twelve-hour days aren't good for anyone, especially if it's the norm. It's havoc on the immune system, which is one of the variables involved in cancer.

Good luck!

 

[anguishINMI]

First thing I'd say is consult your doctor please please please do not just take what I say and run with it. I'd ask the doctor if prilosec should be added to the Rx.

Know anything about MALT lymphoma by chance?

Humans are weird, and we're all imperfect. Relationships are hard enough without having distance involved. Sometimes, what we see as dedication and helping others, is not a great factor for long-term relationships. But, I'm sure I don't need to say that.\

When the pain in a relationship gets too great, you have to ask yourself if the relationship is worth it. And I'm not a believer in payback because it usually ends up causing more pain and repercussions than necessary. And no matter how good a job is or how much you're helping others, twelve-hour days aren't good for anyone, especially if it's the norm. It's havoc on the immune system, which is one of the variables involved in cancer.

Good luck!

 

[StrayKat]

After a 12 hour day researching cancer I am not willing to put forth the effort to answer everyones post.

And what if some of those posters are 13 hours a day cancer researchers too and still put an effort to answer your original post?

My late Father was a neurologist and a scientist. In his long career he saved a lot of lives and is still remembered with love and respect in my hometown by many. Yet I never saw him demand to be treated as anything else but kind, caring human being. Something I fail to see under all that arrogance you show here.

 

[LadyVer]

First thing I'd say is consult your doctor please please please do not just take what I say and run with it. I'd ask the doctor if prilosec should be added to the Rx.

My dear man, you're assuming it's gastric.

 

[LadyVer]

And what if some of those posters are 13 hours a day cancer researchers too and still put an effort to answer your original post?

My late Father was a neurologist and a scientist. In his long career he saved a lot of lives and is still remembered with love and respect in my hometown by many. Yet I never saw him demand to be treated as anything else but kind, caring human being. Something I fail to see under all that arrogance you show here.

I don't think it's arrogance, but just being emotional due to the circumstances, which is probably a good thing.