Loving Wives type story hits reality

[Bazzle]

and makes the Daily Mail

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...fairs-snapped-punched-rugby-player-lover.html

 

[StillStunned]

Nerd versus jock. That has to appeal to a certain readership.

 

[Lifestyle66]

But the article needs more backstory. Which came first: her affairs or the husband's drinking? And how old are the kids? (Under eight or nine since they had been married ten years but estranged 14 months.)

The husband is left in a no-win scenario, forced to pay the mortgage on a house he can't live in while the estranged wife does whatever she wants, including having her naked lover in the kitchen with their young children possibly exposed to them.

Good beginning of a Loving Wives BTB tale. I wonder how it would play out.

Situations such as this occur far more often IRL than many people realize. That's why the LW category is so popular.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I like those photos. I assume that guy is holding a rugby ball over his crotch? I can speculate a bit of what went wrong. He may have speculated that Eastern European women are more "pliable" or loyal or whatever than English ones. Also, he should haven taken the "long view" of such events. At my age, I've discovered that every embarrassing, dumb, or painful thing that happened to me becomes moot after thirty, forty, or fifty years. The other people involved have either passed or long since forgotten what happened.

 

[TheRedChamber]

I like those photos. I assume that guy is holding a rugby ball over his crotch?

It really is Homer Simpson levels of 'I told you that photo would come back to haunt you' I encourage everyone to visit the article if only for that.

I can speculate a bit of what went wrong. He may have speculated that Eastern European women are more "pliable" or loyal or whatever than English ones. Also, he should haven taken the "long view" of such events. At my age, I've discovered that every embarrassing, dumb, or painful thing that happened to me becomes moot after thirty, forty, or fifty years. The other people involved have either passed or long since forgotten what happened.

The interesting technicality for me is that you can be guilty of criminal damage to your own property on the basis that it is in a house occupied by your seperated wife. I had to read a bit scratching my head to get to that detail.

I think you're stretching with the Eastern European stuff. Czech is in the EU, she would have legally been able to work here at the time they met and I've known more than a couple of women from there - they are human. There's no evidence from the article of him having any traditional views or weird 'mail-order bride' relationship - he just didn't want his wife to cheat, like the rest of us (bar a couple of noted AH regulars...)

 

[Lifestyle66]

I like those photos. I assume that guy is holding a rugby ball over his crotch? I can speculate a bit of what went wrong. He may have speculated that Eastern European women are more "pliable" or loyal or whatever than English ones. Also, he should haven taken the "long view" of such events. At my age, I've discovered that every embarrassing, dumb, or painful thing that happened to me becomes moot after thirty, forty, or fifty years. The other people involved have either passed or long since forgotten what happened.

The "long view" threat in such situations as the one described is when the estranged wife becomes pregnant with another guy's child. The first husband is left to pay the mortgage on that house for his own kids' to live, while the ex-wife is then spreading her income out over more kids.

Yes, I've seen such scenarios play out in real life. Husbands are left living in poverty if they try too hard to continue caring for their own kids. Some eventually snap and either decline into becoming drunks or get violent. Of course, there's also the "long view" of staying married and trying to ignore the wife's affairs, ... until she gets pregnant. Then the pressure builds even further, with the wife insisting "my body, my rules" and he has to just endure her decisions. And it works both ways, when the husband is the one having the affairs and knocks up his mistress, then having to pay for her support for decades, leaving his wife and kids living on his depleted income.

And YES, these are scenarios I know from real life friends, neighbors, and relatives. But you are correct in that the "long view" IRL, although painful seems to lead to the least objectionable outcomes for all concerned.

EDIT: My real life examples are why I write stories promoting swinging and sharing. IRL, true monogamy by both in a marriage seems far less prevalent, and when one ignores that reality that their spouse changes over time, it just leads to anger. Better to address that situation before it explodes.

 

[gunhilltrain]

It really is Homer Simpson levels of 'I told you that photo would come back to haunt you' I encourage everyone to visit the article if only for that.


The interesting technicality for me is that you can be guilty of criminal damage to your own property on the basis that it is in a house occupied by your seperated wife. I had to read a bit scratching my head to get to that detail.

I think you're stretching with the Eastern European stuff. Czech is in the EU, she would have legally been able to work here at the time they met and I've known more than a couple of women from there - they are human. There's no evidence from the article of him having any traditional views or weird 'mail-order bride' relationship - he just didn't want his wife to cheat, like the rest of us (bar a couple of noted AH regulars...)

I was surprised too about the criminal property charges. I know a lawyer who might be able to explain in more detail when the property is transferred to the occupant of the house.

The Eastern European angle was completely speculation on my part. I have no idea of what their original thoughts were when they met.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Should we merge this with the thread about readers not realizing our stories are mostly fiction?

 

[gunhilltrain]

The "long view" threat in such situations as the one described is when the estranged wife becomes pregnant with another guy's child. The first husband is left to pay the mortgage on that house for his own kids' to live, while the ex-wife is then spreading her income out over more kids.

Yes, I've seen such scenarios play out in real life. Husbands are left living in poverty if they try too hard to continue caring for their own kids. Some eventually snap and either decline into becoming drunks or get violent. Of course, there's also the "long view" of staying married and trying to ignore the wife's affairs, ... until she gets pregnant. Then the pressure builds even further, with the wife insisting "my body, my rules" and he has to just endure her decisions. And it works both ways, when the husband is the one having the affairs and knocks up his mistress, then having to pay for her support for decades, leaving his wife and kids living on his depleted income.

And YES, these are scenarios I know from real life friends, neighbors, and relatives. But you are correct in that the "long view" IRL, although painful seems to lead to the least objectionable outcomes for all concerned.

EDIT: My real life examples are why I write stories promoting swinging and sharing. IRL, true monogamy by both in a marriage seems far less prevalent, and when one ignores that reality that their spouse changes over time, it just leads to anger. Better to address that situation before it explodes.

True, there are many things in life that can go wrong and can't be easily fixed or are permanent. This particular guy used bad judgment, but there are many more extreme cases of violence. Arguably the rugby player tried to de-escalate the situation by not punching back, but I don't know for sure what he was thinking.

 

[Lifestyle66]

The interesting technicality for me is that you can be guilty of criminal damage to your own property on the basis that it is in a house occupied by your seperated wife. I had to read a bit scratching my head to get to that detail.

I was surprised too about the criminal property charges. I know a lawyer who might be able to explain in more detail when the property is transferred to the occupant of the house.

The husband is paying the mortgage, but the contents of that house are not necessarily his property.

Whether she kept the contents of the house after he moved out 14 months earlier is not mentioned. But she may have acquired the tv's after he left.

Regardless, he was destroying things within a house where he no longer lived. And even if he were to destroy a part of the house by kicking in a door or smashing a window, I think laws in civilized nations regard such destruction as denying the occupant a sense of security where they live.

 

[StillStunned]

I scanned the story but didn't look for details. Did it say what position the rugby player played? At what level? There's a big difference between a lock or a No. 8 versus a scrum half or a wing. And whether he meets up with his mates once a week to chuck the ball around or plays in the Championship.

 

[TheRedChamber]

The husband is paying the mortgage, but the contents of that house are not necessarily his property.

Whether she kept the contents of the house after he moved out 14 months earlier is not mentioned. But she may have acquired the tv's after he left.

According to a traditional view all property is shared between husband and wife so even if she bought it after he left, it would still have been 'his'. But obviously (and rightly) the law doesn't seem to be sticking to that anymore.

Regardless, he was destroying things within a house where he no longer lived. And even if he were to destroy a part of the house by kicking in a door or smashing a window, I think laws in civilized nations regard such destruction as denying the occupant a sense of security where they live.

I could see some kind of 'intimidation' charge, but its not about property exactly at that point.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I scanned the story but didn't look for details. Did it say what position the rugby player played? At what level? There's a big difference between a lock or a No. 8 versus a scrum half or a wing. And whether he meets up with his mates once a week to chuck the ball around or plays in the Championship.

Some of us don't speak Rugby. Can you translate that please?

 

[MrPixel]

At my age, I've discovered that every embarrassing, dumb, or painful thing that happened to me becomes moot after thirty, forty, or fifty years.

Heh. I wish I could sweep my first marriage under the rug that way. Long story short, her malfeasance stole 10 years of my prime "play years". She was off having a good time, I was at home mowing the lawn and otherwise pursuing the myth of a settled suburban lifestyle. I feel like I'm still trying to catch up, 45 years later.

 

[Lifestyle66]

True, there are many things in life that can go wrong and can't be easily fixed or are permanent. This particular guy used bad judgment, but there are many more extreme cases of violence. Arguably the rugby player tried to de-escalate the situation by not punching back, but I don't know for sure what he was thinking.

If the rugby player had fought back, he would probably have lost that fight in court.

Based on the agreement between the husband and wife, the husband had a right to be there and the player did not. The Player's best bet was to avoid any appearance of violence and just leave that scenario as soon as practical.

 

[StillStunned]

Some of us don't speak Rugby. Can you translate that please?

Lock and No. 8: positions that require big players with big muscles. They spend most of the game wrestling with their opposite numbers. Sexual arousal is optional.

Scrum half: mouthy little git who waits for the big men to hand him the ball, then throws or kicks it away before the opposition players can come near him.

Wing: fast players who sit around waiting for the ball to be thrown to them so they can run through an empty field and perform a swan dive under the posts and get all the applause.

Championship: semi-professional league just under the Premiership.

 

[Bazzle]

Lock and No. 8: positions that require big players with big muscles. They spend most of the game wrestling with their opposite numbers. Sexual arousal is optional.

Scrum half: mouthy little git who waits for the big men to hand him the ball, then throws or kicks it away before the opposition players can come near him.

Wing: fast players who sit around waiting for the ball to be thrown to them so they can run through an empty field and perform a swan dive under the posts and get all the applause.

Championship: semi-professional league just under the Premiership.

I think he played for the local town Albion rather than anything special?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Lock and No. 8: positions that require big players with big muscles. They spend most of the game wrestling with their opposite numbers. Sexual arousal is optional.

Scrum half: mouthy little git who waits for the big men to hand him the ball, then throws or kicks it away before the opposition players can come near him.

Wing: fast players who sit around waiting for the ball to be thrown to them so they can run through an empty field and perform a swan dive under the posts and get all the applause.

Championship: semi-professional league just under the Premiership.

OK, so in American (football) English, Lock and No.8 are offensive and defensive linemen,
Scrum Half is a punter, and
Wing is a wide receiver.

Championship would be Canadian Football.

Got it thanks.

 

[NoTalentHack]

I feel bad for the guy, but at the same time... Dude, if she can't even keep to her wedding vows, what makes you think she's going to keep to an agreement to not have guys over once you're no longer living in the house?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

This thread is starting to read like something from Redditt... Just saying...

 

[Lifestyle66]

I feel bad for the guy, but at the same time... Dude, if she can't even keep to her wedding vows, what makes you think she's going to keep to an agreement to not have guys over once you're no longer living in the house?

True.

People often live together or get married and "walk on eggshells" to appease their partner, ... for a while, maybe even for a few years. But once your spouse deceives, lies, or cheats, they've shown who they really are after that "honeymoon is over." And people don't easily change in the long-term. They will mostly revert to their basic instincts.

That's why there was an old saying: "Familiarity breeds contempt". It's the same thing. People will relax their pretenses over time.

 

[lustychimera]

This thread is starting to read like something from Redditt... Just saying...

Lol! I was just thinking this would be a great BORU. How's her ex-MIL, I wonder?

 

[Bazzle]

Well, if anyone writes the story, let us know

 

[THBGato]

Scrum Half is a punter,

More like Quarterback who also punts. Though to be fair, so is the flyhalf.