Is it possible to find a connection here?

[AnnieLit]

If you're looking for a lasting connection, my knee-jerk response is to say, "no."
Hell no.
But the fact of the matter is, I have met 1 very special person on here. And the idiots that came after him can't undo this fact, even though they're working overtime to make me hate interacting on Lit.
If you can find that sweet spot where assholes, racists, and sexists just don't message you, then yeah, I'm sure you could have a grand ol' time here & connect meaningfully.

You can always close your PMs to general public or whatever it is called here and get messages only from the people you follow. You meet on the boards, you chat in the open, you like what you see, only then you give them a way to message you. Cuts down the number of asshats quite nicely.

 

[someplace]

I agree with Patient1. The early days - probably through 2004/5 were much more respectful and FUN. We used to have meet ups all over the country and I think there was one in the UK. At one point I'd probably met over 100 Litsters at gatherings. I've talked with dozens on the phone. I've made many life-long friends from here whose Lit names I've forgotten because they are real life friends now. I met my husband here. We were together for 20 years until he died. We went from messaging to a 5 hour long phone call the first day we connected. We had a great life together. Though it sounds corny, you get out of it what you put into it. If you're honest and open and connect with someone who's also honest and open and then you discover compatibility, who knows where it can take you?

I do think one would have to be more careful now. There are people with ill intent and those who present false personas. One needs to proceed cautiously in sharing indentifying information now. I think that complicates the process. Doesn't make it impossible, just harder now.

 

[Noor]

I agree with Patient1. The early days - probably through 2004/5 were much more respectful and FUN. We used to have meet ups all over the country and I think there was one in the UK. At one point I'd probably met over 100 Litsters at gatherings. I've talked with dozens on the phone. I've made many life-long friends from here whose Lit names I've forgotten because they are real life friends now. I met my husband here. We were together for 20 years until he died. We went from messaging to a 5 hour long phone call the first day we connected. We had a great life together. Though it sounds corny, you get out of it what you put into it. If you're honest and open and connect with someone who's also honest and open and then you discover compatibility, who knows where it can take you?

I do think one would have to be more careful now. There are people with ill intent and those who present false personas. One needs to proceed cautiously in sharing indentifying information now. I think that complicates the process. Doesn't make it impossible, just harder now.

I totally agree. I know a lot of people from 2003 on. Lit has changed, but so has the world.

 

[Noor]

That's not the gb I remember. You had to have thick skin here to post.

A certain kind of thick skin, I suppose, but then I took on Byron...
I think you had to not take things too personally. What happened on the GB and what happened behind the scenes could be very different.

 

[Plasmaball]

A certain kind of thick skin, I suppose, but then I took on Byron...
I think you had to not take things too personally. What happened on the GB and what happened behind the scenes could be very different.

That's true.
I did not have as a thick of skin as I thought I did.

 

[SPARTAN047]

After being disappointed a few times here, I know the only connection you can find here is the Wi-Fi one.

Guess you shouldn't expect too much from here, and GL.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

That's not the gb I remember. You had to have thick skin here to post.

Absolutely. A good percentage of current posters would have been eaten alive.

 

[NOBGE]

This may be somewhat of a philosophical question of sorts:

Is it possible to actually make a lifelong connection with people on this site?
Or
Is this site, by design, just meant to provide a sanctuary for only temporary connections and online debauchery.
What are your thoughts?

I took a chance, as did she, 18 years ago. Still see her almost every day

 

[elizaloo]

I have to jump in here and share my personal experiences in 18 years on Lit - met a fling back in '07 along with a really nice woman I became friends with, ie camping with families etc. IMO, though, - it was MUCH easier to meet up and make friends back then...everyone was more...'real?' I probably met up with (for lunch/dinner) at least a half dozen locals or more.

Met my now-husband here in '08...he was supposed to be FWB but convinced me otherwise. We've been together for 15 years. We're pursuing an 'open marriage' at this point and I've met a great guy (long time Litster) who is exploring that with me, with the blessing of his long-term partner too...that makes me believe that there are some 'real' people here still.

FF to the last few years: I've made a number of good friends...but 'online' only. There's 'fear?' or something that holds all of these people back from meeting up even for a drink or dinner. Or perhaps the caliber of folks joining is different? Looking only for an online hookup and not a personal connection? I don't get out enough here to figure it out - joined to write and publish and that's mostly what I do these days...except lately I've been a chatting fool, and have talked with lots of really nice people - I skip the ones who want nudes and nothing more than a quickie.

The online friends that I've made are fabulous people and I think we could all be good friend IRL, but there's unkowing wives or distance issues...so not gonna happen. Which is too bad, and perhaps reflective of the world in general.

Just my 2 cents too - take it or leave it.

 

[Erodicus]

If people are comfortable with questions being posted here, I have one.

I am fascinated and aroused by the diversity of all intimate body parts of both men and women. The voyeuristic excitement of checking out the endless variety of sizes, shapes, textures, colours, arousal levels of people's sexual assets never fails to make me horny. Does anyone else have this "omnisexual" interest? If so, feel free to PM me.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

This may be somewhat of a philosophical question of sorts:

Is it possible to actually make a lifelong connection with people on this site?
Or
Is this site, by design, just meant to provide a sanctuary for only temporary connections and online debauchery.
What are your thoughts?

Sure it is. It can be the second possibility as well.

 

[Erodicus]

This may be somewhat of a philosophical question of sorts:

Is it possible to actually make a lifelong connection with people on this site?
Or
Is this site, by design, just meant to provide a sanctuary for only temporary connections and online debauchery.
What are your thoughts?

In my experience, it is possible to make strong and enduring connections with people here, but far more unlikely than I had expected. While I'm always up for a bit of "online debauchery," it becomes tedious when the only responses you receive to PMs (if any) are from people who want more than they are prepared to give.

 

[NKNE]

In my experience, it is possible to make strong and enduring connections with people here, but far more unlikely than I had expected. While I'm always up for a bit of "online debauchery," it becomes tedious when the only responses you receive to PMs (if any) are from people who want more than they are prepared to give.

I have to admit this is probably among the best responses I've read thus far. Your words hit close to home because you articulate what has been my own lived experience on this platform.

 

[Erodicus]

I have to admit this is probably among the best responses I've read thus far. Your words hit close to home because you articulate what has been my own lived experience on this platform.

Thank you. I hope your rewarding experiences have outweighed the disappointing ones.

 

[Michael682]

This may be somewhat of a philosophical question of sorts:

Is it possible to actually make a lifelong connection with people on this site?

I would say yes. I've made friend connections on here over the half dozen years I've been in and out.

 

[NormalMarriedWhiteGuy]

I have to admit this is probably among the best responses I've read thus far. Your words hit close to home because you articulate what has been my own lived experience on this platform.

I too am looking for online friends of both sexes. I am looking for the intellectual interaction with people who are both articulate and prevocative. I like to listen and talk to people who have something to say. I am not a jerk, always respectful and I won't insult anyone. But at the same time I know that this is only an escape for most people so I am not holding my breath.

Is it Possible? Yes. Is it likely? No.

 

[likes2watchU]

I'll echo what a lot of others have already said.
yes - no - maybe - maybe just for a day
I joined mid-2009. Now returning after several years. Already one member I knew from back then has reached out to say hello and reconnect.

Even with all the changes over the intervening years, I'm hoping to make some new connections. Time will tell whether it will be more Pillow Fight or Pillow Talk.

 

[kathyisgr65]

This may be somewhat of a philosophical question of sorts:

Is it possible to actually make a lifelong connection with people on this site?
Or
Is this site, by design, just meant to provide a sanctuary for only temporary connections and online debauchery.
What are your thoughts?

I say definitely. I've been here for almost 20 years... and I've made a handful of really amazing friends.. granted I've also kissed my fair share of frog.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

You can make connections here, yes. Some turn out to be wonderful and you can make lifelong friends. Other times people say they like you and then go off you. It's a journey.