How do I take more control with sex?

[davion2308]

I'm in a developing relationship with someone and we've recently started having sex. It's fun, it's easy-going, we do well together, but now she's more recently started telling me I can take control or I can have whatever I want or, "If you want it, take it. It's all yours."

I'm confident, I'm comfortable with myself and I'm not shy about trying new things. But I'm not sure how to 'tell' her what to do. Directing traffic isn't an issue and I can communicate but the words themselves aren't coming to me. I laugh when I think about demanding a blowjob or ordering her to do something.

Who does this and how does it work with you? I don't feel like we're tracking toward dom/sub but it's certainly something where she's made jokes about begging me for sex and wanting me to do whatever I want.

How do I control the situation and lead without feeling silly?

Any comments help. Thank you.

 

[Aphroditiac]

You may want to discuss with her exactly what she means by "take what you want" in a sexual context, but what I think of when I hear that is not so much words in bed, but getting more physical. Grabbing her and pushing her up against the wall, kissing her hard. Smacking her ass and demanding "Turn over!" pr whatnot. Moving her how you want her, not necessarily asking first. At least, that's kind of what I would imagine, but obviously you should talk to her first.

If you find it difficult to start, perhaps if she'll watch porn with you, maybe find one where the guy is kinda forceful, physically, and ask her "Do you think you'd enjoy me doing that?"

 

[davion2308]

Thank you

You may want to discuss with her exactly what she means by "take what you want" in a sexual context, but what I think of when I hear that is not so much words in bed, but getting more physical. Grabbing her and pushing her up against the wall, kissing her hard. Smacking her ass and demanding "Turn over!" pr whatnot. Moving her how you want her, not necessarily asking first. At least, that's kind of what I would imagine, but obviously you should talk to her first.

If you find it difficult to start, perhaps if she'll watch porn with you, maybe find one where the guy is kinda forceful, physically, and ask her "Do you think you'd enjoy me doing that?"

Thank you for the description. That's well-explained and thoughtful and knowing my lady, I think it applies here. I appreciate it.

 

[kissedcherry]

Just be real

I'm in a developing relationship with someone and we've recently started having sex. It's fun, it's easy-going, we do well together, but now she's more recently started telling me I can take control or I can have whatever I want or, "If you want it, take it. It's all yours."

I'm confident, I'm comfortable with myself and I'm not shy about trying new things. But I'm not sure how to 'tell' her what to do. Directing traffic isn't an issue and I can communicate but the words themselves aren't coming to me. I laugh when I think about demanding a blowjob or ordering her to do something.

Who does this and how does it work with you? I don't feel like we're tracking toward dom/sub but it's certainly something where she's made jokes about begging me for sex and wanting me to do whatever I want.

How do I control the situation and lead without feeling silly?

Any comments help. Thank you.

----

Just be real and natural about it. The whole dom/sub thing is a dead end road in my book. But if you have found someone that is willing to explore the wonders of sex with you than just be real and natural. Ask yourself: "Are then things you have always wanted to try?" Then just be totally honest. But don't be selfish. Try to learn what she would like to try. Has she ever had a MFM? or a FMF? Does she like toys? Have you both been to a nude beach and done it on a blanket with others watching? Maybe none of those things sound fun to you but I am just illustrating the point. But the key to a good relationship is to be real and honest and open. In the mood to fuck her mouth? Just say, "Baby, I am so horny. I really want to fuck your mouth right now!" Or whatever.

Watch porn together and get ideas. Take note of what makes her wet and horny. Also, does she like to masturbate for you? Guys seem to love to watch me do myself and it turns me on to turn them on.

Have fun and treat her with love and respect. Never forget that the best sex is when everyone involved is more concerned about giving pleasure than getting it.