Help with a story idea

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It's an interesting idea, I'll grant you, but it has a very non-con feeling to it, which is a surprise coming from you.
 
A normal woman is captured by a wealthy European aristocrat. She is held essentially as a sex slave, and used for breeding purposes.

She has the appearance of freedom, but her every public appearance is carefully controlled and stage-managed. She knows that the aristocrat’s henchmen are near and all it would take is one hypodermic needle for her to have an unfortunate and unexplained heart attack. There have been other strange deaths of people who have married into his family in the past.

Her days are agony. Her nights full of sexual torture. Her whole life is a facade, nothing is real.

But then she has an idea. A daring idea to highlight both her plight and maybe get help. She doctors a family photo in ways that even a myopic bat wearing sunglasses would find immediately bizarre. This is how she will get her cry for help out. This is how she will save herself.

I’m still thinking about what happens in chapter two.

Working title: The Princess and the Photo



Now, while I think the overall plot is pretty realistic, verging on gritty, I feel that the photograph stuff is just too unbelievable. Will it rip readers out of the story?

What do you think?

Any help appreciated.

Emily

Maybe it's just me but I don't see a captive of any sort having access to a computer.

What I can see is the captive convincing her captor that a piece of personal jewelry is a family heirloom. It would be familiar to those close to her, enough so that if she were to wear it upside down, sideways, or on the wrong side of her outfit, it would raise questions. Especially if there was some sort of (questionably accurate) family history behind doing so. She could also emphasize that not wearing it would definitely raise a lot of questions.

If I were going to write a story like that, I think I'd go that route.
 
Maybe it's just me but I don't see a captive of any sort having access to a computer.

What I can see is the captive convincing her captor that a piece of personal jewelry is a family heirloom. It would be familiar to those close to her, enough so that if she were to wear it upside down, sideways, or on the wrong side of her outfit, it would raise questions. Especially if there was some sort of (questionably accurate) family history behind doing so. She could also emphasize that not wearing it would definitely raise a lot of questions.

If I were going to write a story like that, I think I'd go that route.
Or maybe a missing wedding band, right?
 
Or maybe a missing wedding band, right?

I think I could probably make that work. Maybe have the stone turned toward her palm or something of that nature. If everything is as carefully choreographed as you state, going ringless may not be possible. Hiding a huge center stone might raise a few questions, though. I still kind of like the brooch angle.

Edit: I use though way too much...
 
A normal woman is captured by a wealthy European aristocrat. She is held essentially as a sex slave, and used for breeding purposes.

She has the appearance of freedom, but her every public appearance is carefully controlled and stage-managed. She knows that the aristocrat’s henchmen are near and all it would take is one hypodermic needle for her to have an unfortunate and unexplained heart attack. There have been other strange deaths of people who have married into his family in the past.

Her days are agony. Her nights full of sexual torture. Her whole life is a facade, nothing is real.

But then she has an idea. A daring idea to highlight both her plight and maybe get help. She doctors a family photo in ways that even a myopic bat wearing sunglasses would find immediately bizarre. This is how she will get her cry for help out. This is how she will save herself.

I’m still thinking about what happens in chapter two.

Working title: The Princess and the Photo



Now, while I think the overall plot is pretty realistic, verging on gritty, I feel that the photograph stuff is just too unbelievable. Will it rip readers out of the story?

What do you think?

Any help appreciated.

Emily
I agree that the photo is going to be a hard sell.
It would obviously be a photo posted on social media, or a magazine or newspaper.
If she is so closely guarded, her social media posted would probably be edited before posting.
If the mistake or cry for help is so obvious. It would be detected by her minders.
 
Some captives are held by immaterial bonds, and their captivity is far from secret.

True. My understanding of the scenario was that the aristocrat would not want that kind of publicity.
 
I agree that the photo is going to be a hard sell.
It would obviously be a photo posted on social media, or a magazine or newspaper.
If she is so closely guarded, her social media posted would probably be edited before posting.
You’d kinda think so, right?
If the mistake or cry for help is so obvious. It would be detected by her minders.
It probably was

Emily
 
You’d kinda think so, right?

It probably was

Emily
It's fiction so anything's possible, but if you want that edge of plausibility then it would have to be carefully disguised.
If her master is so controlling, and happy to kill her if she tried anything then it would have to be something very discreet and perhaps only obvious to her most dedicated followers.
Or, you said she was kept for breeding. If she has children, then the children might be an avenue for reaching out.
 
Maybe it's just me but I don't see a captive of any sort having access to a computer.

I wrote a novel a few years back, similar premise: kept woman trapped in an abusive marriage with a powerful man. The husband forbade internet completely (although I suppose he could have allowed emails that he could screen first). He held all of her ID. She had no bank account of her own. She was given a phone that could only call a half-dozen approved numbers. He had the police chief on his payroll (can't call the cops on him). He discouraged her from reading non-fiction. She never left the house without bodyguard handlers who would pay cash on her behalf if she wanted/needed to buy anything or pay the hairdresser etc.

She escaped once and pawned her wedding ring for means. Then she got caught and had all of her fingers broken except for her ring finger. I admit, it's not a 'nice' story. : P
 
I make it a point never to read about Royals. You may have found a way to get me to start.
She is held essentially as a sex slave, and used for breeding purposes.
As a man who once turned to his wife and said, "Darling, shall we start a family?" I'm a bit worried that I may have 'used her for breeding purposes' It seemed okay at the time, but for some reason your wording has got me second guessing myself.
 
True. My understanding of the scenario was that the aristocrat would not want that kind of publicity.
Its a common thing for powerful people (esp men) to have open secrets. For instance, a mistress or other outside sexual activity that everyone, including his wife and often the press, knows about, but nobody publicly acknowledges. Until something happens that makes it impossible to not see, then it becomes a scandal. Bill and Monica. Anthony Weiner. Harvey Weinstein. Tony Soprano and that one floozy...

This story could possibly fit into that paradigm. Instead of her escape depending on simply somebody on the outside knowing about her situation, it depends on it coming to widespread public knowledge. That whatever it is holding her, it can only be broken by *public* knowledge, by formal legal/press acknowledgement.
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A normal woman is captured by a wealthy European aristocrat. She is held essentially as a sex slave, and used for breeding purposes.

She has the appearance of freedom, but her every public appearance is carefully controlled and stage-managed. She knows that the aristocrat’s henchmen are near and all it would take is one hypodermic needle for her to have an unfortunate and unexplained heart attack. There have been other strange deaths of people who have married into his family in the past.

Her days are agony. Her nights full of sexual torture. Her whole life is a facade, nothing is real.

But then she has an idea. A daring idea to highlight both her plight and maybe get help. She doctors a family photo in ways that even a myopic bat wearing sunglasses would find immediately bizarre. This is how she will get her cry for help out. This is how she will save herself.

I’m still thinking about what happens in chapter two.

Working title: The Princess and the Photo



Now, while I think the overall plot is pretty realistic, verging on gritty, I feel that the photograph stuff is just too unbelievable. Will it rip readers out of the story?

What do you think?

Any help appreciated.

Emily

Perhaps I'm misreading this, but did you just say that "A woman [being] held essentially as a sex slave, and used for breeding purposes" is pretty realistic?

I'm assuming you've never been to Europe. Let me clear this one out for you: it's not The Lord of the Rings.
 
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Its a common thing for powerful people (esp men) to have open secrets. For instance, a mistress or other outside sexual activity that everyone, including his wife and often the press, knows about, but nobody publicly acknowledges. Until something happens that makes it impossible to not see, then it becomes a scandal. Bill and Monica. Anthony Weiner. Harvey Weinstein. Tony Soprano and that one floozy...

This story could possibly fit into that paradigm. Instead of her escape depending on simply somebody on the outside knowing about her situation, it depends on it coming to widespread public knowledge. That whatever it is holding her, it can only be broken by *public* knowledge, by formal legal/press acknowledgement.

Ah, Carlos Danger. That's a name I've not heard in a long time...

That sounds like an interesting approach. Thanks for pointing it out!
 
here's a real (as opposed to realistic) scenario: black american rapper is using women as slaves...

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Perhaps I'm misreading this, but did you just say that "A woman [being] held essentially as a sex slave, and used for breeding purposes" is pretty realistic?

I'm assuming you've never been in Europe. Let me clear this one out for you: it's not The Lord of the Rings.
I’m very naive about many things.

Emily
 
Ah, Carlos Danger. That's a name I've not heard in a long time...
Wow, I totally forgot about that.
whatever it is holding her, it can only be broken by *public* knowledge, by formal legal/press acknowledgement.
Like the local law is on the aristocrat's side, the local press is cowed. They all know about it, but nobody can stand up to him. When word gets out very publicly beyond the local level - because people on the internet start seeing her sign language or whatever and it eventually goes viral - people on the outside start pressuring the people on top out there, who start pressuring the people on top in the aristocrat's area, it all collapses on him and she gets free.


Somebody brought up the Viet Nam POW who started doing that kind of thing in propaganda photos/videos distributed by his captors, it came to public knowledge and something was done about it. But it's guaranteed that the US govt. knew about it before. They just had their own reasons not to make a stink about it, until they had to.
 
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