Handicapped shouldn't define me

[SilverVeil]

Hello.

Thank you in advance for reading. I have been a member of Literotica since the dinosaurs roamed the earth it seems. Have not been active for a long while though. Due to circumstances beyond my control or choice I have suddenly found myself single/divorced and want to explore a different lifestyle.

I am having difficulty finding a partner/Dom accepting of my disability that causes me to be in a wheelchair. I am mobility impaired and have difficulty walking or standing for long periods of time. I CAN walk and DO walk when I am able to, but for distance like shopping, walking in a park, attending events and such, I need the chair. My chair is awesome, it is called a FoldnGo and it literally folds up and can fit in the trunk of a regular car if that trunk is tidy and not cluttered up.

I have met a few men online. I am upfront and honest about my situation. One man I really thought I made a connection with appeared to be ok with my limitations and keeps telling me we will meet soon (we live just a few miles apart in a very, very tiny state in New England), but he keeps putting it off for some reason or another. I have even offered to come to him to meet in public for the first time. But not even that has made any progress. In the meantime, I am "in training" in his words. He sent me a collar to wear already.

Ok, I understand that. I have never been in a D/s relationship. I DO NEED training. But he sets tasks what he calls homework for me to complete and video him what I am doing. One of these daily tasks is I am to cum no less than 2 times every day. And he wants me to cum both times in one task. I have tried to explain I have never been able to do that in quick succession. He wants me to insert a very thick dildo in my pussy and ride it till I cum. I bought one, (a couple in fact) but even though the description says "Firm and Lifelike!" they are all kinda bendy and fold up when I try to sit on it stuck to the handicapped bench in my shower. I have asked him if we can wait on that until we are together and maybe we can figure out what I am doing wrong. But I am told I failed to complete my assigned homework and need to be punished. (it's not rocket science, come on, it's sticking a silicone cock inside me for crying out loud! I can't understand why it will not go inside me.)

I am a little self-conscious about my body in some areas. I wear a blood sugar monitor that adheres to my skin for 24 hour monitoring. The adhesive sometimes irritates my skin and will leave a sore behind when I have to change it. Again, something I can't control to my knowledge. I know pushing limits is an aspect of this lifestyle, and sending the videos really pushes mine, but I do not show my face and unless someone knows my body intimately (which only one man for 23 years has) they are not going to know it is me.

I am a realist. I know my situation. I am getting older. I am 59. I have mirrors and know what I look like. I am fat, (ok my doctor records say obese, but you can dress that up however you want, I am fat) I know I am not a stunning beauty, but when I dress up and use makeup, I am pretty.

Is my being handicapped a turn off? Being in a wheelchair too much for a Dom? Living where I do, I think my options for a RL relationship are not really good. But you never know.... there may be some one near here who is willing to take a chance with me.
Any advice or suggestions are welcome. I feel very alone because I don't have friends interested in BDSM that I know of.

 

[thomas1965]

Looks like this guy is not as patient and understanding as you need him to be.
I wonder if you should continue with him if he doesn't understand or accept your limitations.

But I am told I failed to complete my assigned homework and need to be punished.

Why should you be punished for things outside your control? Doesn't make sense to me.

 

[Filipinawife]

Hello.

Thank you in advance for reading. I have been a member of Literotica since the dinosaurs roamed the earth it seems. Have not been active for a long while though. Due to circumstances beyond my control or choice I have suddenly found myself single/divorced and want to explore a different lifestyle.

I am having difficulty finding a partner/Dom accepting of my disability that causes me to be in a wheelchair. I am mobility impaired and have difficulty walking or standing for long periods of time. I CAN walk and DO walk when I am able to, but for distance like shopping, walking in a park, attending events and such, I need the chair. My chair is awesome, it is called a FoldnGo and it literally folds up and can fit in the trunk of a regular car if that trunk is tidy and not cluttered up.

I have met a few men online. I am upfront and honest about my situation. One man I really thought I made a connection with appeared to be ok with my limitations and keeps telling me we will meet soon (we live just a few miles apart in a very, very tiny state in New England), but he keeps putting it off for some reason or another. I have even offered to come to him to meet in public for the first time. But not even that has made any progress. In the meantime, I am "in training" in his words. He sent me a collar to wear already.

Ok, I understand that. I have never been in a D/s relationship. I DO NEED training. But he sets tasks what he calls homework for me to complete and video him what I am doing. One of these daily tasks is I am to cum no less than 2 times every day. And he wants me to cum both times in one task. I have tried to explain I have never been able to do that in quick succession. He wants me to insert a very thick dildo in my pussy and ride it till I cum. I bought one, (a couple in fact) but even though the description says "Firm and Lifelike!" they are all kinda bendy and fold up when I try to sit on it stuck to the handicapped bench in my shower. I have asked him if we can wait on that until we are together and maybe we can figure out what I am doing wrong. But I am told I failed to complete my assigned homework and need to be punished. (it's not rocket science, come on, it's sticking a silicone cock inside me for crying out loud! I can't understand why it will not go inside me.)

I am a little self-conscious about my body in some areas. I wear a blood sugar monitor that adheres to my skin for 24 hour monitoring. The adhesive sometimes irritates my skin and will leave a sore behind when I have to change it. Again, something I can't control to my knowledge. I know pushing limits is an aspect of this lifestyle, and sending the videos really pushes mine, but I do not show my face and unless someone knows my body intimately (which only one man for 23 years has) they are not going to know it is me.

I am a realist. I know my situation. I am getting older. I am 59. I have mirrors and know what I look like. I am fat, (ok my doctor records say obese, but you can dress that up however you want, I am fat) I know I am not a stunning beauty, but when I dress up and use makeup, I am pretty.

Is my being handicapped a turn off? Being in a wheelchair too much for a Dom? Living where I do, I think my options for a RL relationship are not really good. But you never know.... there may be some one near here who is willing to take a chance with me.
Any advice or suggestions are welcome. I feel very alone because I don't have friends interested in BDSM that I know of.

I dated a guy who was wheelchair dependent and it went fine.

 

[KentBloke]

I agree about his lack of patience ad empathy. I have had a couple of D/S relationships and, for me, part of the enjoyment is starting with what your sub CAN do and slowly expanding her repertoire. She got rewards for "good behaviour" and I got my enjoyment from the set up.
Find a new Dom who is more willing to work with you to develop the relationship and, it is not mentioned but seems to be lacking, your trust in him...

 

[ericalauren]

I'm sure there is a person out there who would love to be your Dominant. If I were you, I wouldn't settle for the Dom you have now. He sounds like he doesn't "get it". Best of luck to you.

 

[SilverVeil]

I agree about his lack of patience ad empathy. I have had a couple of D/S relationships and, for me, part of the enjoyment is starting with what your sub CAN do and slowly expanding her repertoire. She got rewards for "good behaviour" and I got my enjoyment from the set up.
Find a new Dom who is more willing to work with you to develop the relationship and, it is not mentioned but seems to be lacking, your trust in him...

You are correct. There isn't really trust because that is not something that has been nurtured from his side yet. And the fact it was not mentioned is a little telling to me. Thank you for pointing that out to me.

 

[KentBloke]

If you are still looking, pm me and I will tell you about myself and, more importantly, ask some questions about you!

 

[SilverVeil]

To everyone who responded, thank you. I mentioned to someone that after I felt so discarded and raw from allowing myself to be treated that way, I immediately came back after many years absent to the one place I always felt safe. Right here at Lit. Yeah, over the years the names/faces have changed as we come and go, but I knew deep down my safe home would be here to catch me.

So, again thank you "seeing me" and offering advice and refuge. I'm sticking around again.

 

[IrisAlthea]

A man who lives nearby and puts off meeting probably has no intentions of meeting. There are people online who get everything they want or need or are able to get... from online/phone interaction.

That was my thought too.
May have as much or more to do with them and their situation.

 

[Licker96]

Hello.

Thank you in advance for reading. I have been a member of Literotica since the dinosaurs roamed the earth it seems. Have not been active for a long while though. Due to circumstances beyond my control or choice I have suddenly found myself single/divorced and want to explore a different lifestyle.

I am having difficulty finding a partner/Dom accepting of my disability that causes me to be in a wheelchair. I am mobility impaired and have difficulty walking or standing for long periods of time. I CAN walk and DO walk when I am able to, but for distance like shopping, walking in a park, attending events and such, I need the chair. My chair is awesome, it is called a FoldnGo and it literally folds up and can fit in the trunk of a regular car if that trunk is tidy and not cluttered up.

I have met a few men online. I am upfront and honest about my situation. One man I really thought I made a connection with appeared to be ok with my limitations and keeps telling me we will meet soon (we live just a few miles apart in a very, very tiny state in New England), but he keeps putting it off for some reason or another. I have even offered to come to him to meet in public for the first time. But not even that has made any progress. In the meantime, I am "in training" in his words. He sent me a collar to wear already.

Ok, I understand that. I have never been in a D/s relationship. I DO NEED training. But he sets tasks what he calls homework for me to complete and video him what I am doing. One of these daily tasks is I am to cum no less than 2 times every day. And he wants me to cum both times in one task. I have tried to explain I have never been able to do that in quick succession. He wants me to insert a very thick dildo in my pussy and ride it till I cum. I bought one, (a couple in fact) but even though the description says "Firm and Lifelike!" they are all kinda bendy and fold up when I try to sit on it stuck to the handicapped bench in my shower. I have asked him if we can wait on that until we are together and maybe we can figure out what I am doing wrong. But I am told I failed to complete my assigned homework and need to be punished. (it's not rocket science, come on, it's sticking a silicone cock inside me for crying out loud! I can't understand why it will not go inside me.)

I am a little self-conscious about my body in some areas. I wear a blood sugar monitor that adheres to my skin for 24 hour monitoring. The adhesive sometimes irritates my skin and will leave a sore behind when I have to change it. Again, something I can't control to my knowledge. I know pushing limits is an aspect of this lifestyle, and sending the videos really pushes mine, but I do not show my face and unless someone knows my body intimately (which only one man for 23 years has) they are not going to know it is me.

I am a realist. I know my situation. I am getting older. I am 59. I have mirrors and know what I look like. I am fat, (ok my doctor records say obese, but you can dress that up however you want, I am fat) I know I am not a stunning beauty, but when I dress up and use makeup, I am pretty.

Is my being handicapped a turn off? Being in a wheelchair too much for a Dom? Living where I do, I think my options for a RL relationship are not really good. But you never know.... there may be some one near here who is willing to take a chance with me.
Any advice or suggestions are welcome. I feel very alone because I don't have friends interested in BDSM that I know of.

 

[Licker96]

What do you need? I would love to give you some tasks to do and even cam to cam with you. If you pick me, will you obey? I will want you to spread your pussy. Have you been fucked often, through the years. To make an agreement you must send me a picture of your spread pussy. No face is necessary. On your stomach write 'This is my offering to you Steve" in lipstick. . Tell me what you want me to do to you and that you will obey every request. I will send a pic of my dick while looking at your picture, it will be hard from looking at your spread pussy. This will consummate our bond. You will belong to me then and must do as I say.
Steve

 

[BiBunny]

What do you need? I would love to give you some tasks to do and even cam to cam with you. If you pick me, will you obey? I will want you to spread your pussy. Have you been fucked often, through the years. To make an agreement you must send me a picture of your spread pussy. No face is necessary. On your stomach write 'This is my offering to you Steve" in lipstick. . Tell me what you want me to do to you and that you will obey every request. I will send a pic of my dick while looking at your picture, it will be hard from looking at your spread pussy. This will consummate our bond. You will belong to me then and must do as I say.
Steve

Ew.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Ew.

Yep, super tasteful…

I don’t get why everyone thinks this is the personals lately.

 

[Giftboy]

Your disablement should not interfere with a true partner. One of my bottom friends is disabled. He has to wear a leg support and was born with a vestigial arm. He certainly enjoys a full Domme/Dom interactions, where his impairment is seen as anything burt an impediment to kinks and training. I would say his disablement leads to kinks and training able bodied people are excluded from. Some things he tells me makes me jealous of these sexual encounters he had experienced. Just find a person who is not closed minded and you should be up there.