Mr. Briggs
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2001
- Posts
- 4,300
This is an interesting topic and one to which I've given some thought recently. I'm fairly new to Lit, and have found it to be an excellent vehicle for exploring my own fantasies in a safe way. If there's one thing I've learned from this self-exploration, it's that people (and I include myself) spend way too much time worrying about what other people think they should want. It strikes me that feelings of shame come from the idea of having one's fantasies become public knowledge, and subject to the scrutiny of others. No matter how deviant you believe your fantasies are, I'd bet my life savings that a LOT of other people get off on the same thoughts, whether they would admit it or not.
To quote the always incisive Dan Savage, "you're having an orgasm, not being deposed."
That is to say that fantasy is just that. Fantasizing about something does not imply that you would ever engage in it in real life. Lots of men fantasize about raping women, or having sex with their sisters, but would never actually do it. No person is under any obligation to confess his or her sexual fantasies or justify them to anyone else (not even a sexual partner).
It's good to treat people with respect, dignity and kindness, and we should be as kind to ourselves. x
Very well said! Having read your post it makes me think that a non judgemental partner probably plays a major role in this. For example if my wife said I love every one of your fantasies then all of a sudden why would there be any regret or shame.