Discovered I’m into BDSM and pain. Need some guidance - esp in regards to anal play

[Anonymity34]

Hi everyone,

I am a 28 year old woman who has recently discovered that pain and BDSM turn me on. I have started baby steps towards this like clothespins, spanking and wax play with someone telling me what I must do. I have thoroughly enjoyed everything. But as I tried to experiment more and more, I have realised I LOVE stuffing my asshole. When I started out obviously it was too painful even with lube but I slowly moved into fucking my asshole with someone instructing me on the procedure. Now I'm addicted to it. I need my asshole stuffed all the time. In a matter of 5 days, I have reached a stage where I had a thick stick plugged into my asshole for 6 hours in a day.

I tried looking online but there are very contradicting opinions about keeping asshole stuffed for a long time. I'm obsessed with this and I have progressed to much thicker items because of this continuous stuffing.

I need experts here to guide me whether this continuous stuffing is harmful to me.

 

[Anonymity34]

Describe “thick stick”. 6 hours seems excessive to me. I tried a butt plug doing chores for an hour once and I was sore.
Are you lying in bed? Moving? What is up your butt?

(Please don’t post pics. Use your words.)

I have a shampoo bottle up my ass. At least 3 cms in diameter. I put it in and lie on the bed and work on my laptop. Whenever I feel naughty I start fucking myself with it. This was recommended to me by someone to ensure that my rim stays relaxed when the asshole is filled for a long time

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Describe “thick stick”. 6 hours seems excessive to me. I tried a butt plug doing chores for an hour once and I was sore.
Are you lying in bed? Moving? What is up your butt?

(Please don’t post pics. Use your words.)

I agree with you here, Fara. I was tasked once upon a time with wearing a butt plug to work. I did not make it to the middle of my workday and was pretty sore afterwards.

I don’t have enough personal experience to weigh in here, but I’m concerned for you Anon, that this may be dangerous. Hopefully some folks with more experience check in and offer their perspective. I hope you don’t mind, I am going to edit your title to hopefully draw attention to the specific topic.

 

[Anonymity34]

Thank you!

I'll buy an anal plug first thing. I knew it was the beginner's enthusiasm and may be something about this was wrong.

Thank you so much for the guidance. Much obliged

 

[twister947]

And PLEASE, don't look to porn for ideas. Much of that stuff is dangerous.

 

[Bramblethorn]

But for us humans, and as someone with GI problems, something to note is that this overwhelming fear of permanently damaging the anal sphinter and stretching it out forever is a bunch of bullshit. Pretty sure it comes from the old sodomy taboo. No oral and no hetero- or homo- anal allowed. There are even some fringe gay men who believe that anal sex is wrong. (No I am not linking their ridiculous website.)

Sodomy taboo and also general promiscuity taboo - there's similar bullshit about how women who have too much sex end up with floppy vaginas.

 

[gracie920101]

I was with a guy for months who always insisted on anal daily and sometimes more than two or three times daily. I loved it but finally had to stop seeing him because of fecal incontinence issues. Luckily, I regained muscle tone but learned my body just couldn't tolerate the level he wanted.

Listen to your body. If it feels wrong, don't do it - otherwise, enjoy and have fun.

 

[KimGordon67]

One of the other RNs here reminded me that we pull all kinds of stuff out of people’s butts in the ER, so please make sure you have a “flared” end, meaning, the end inside you is smaller than the end that’s outside, to stop your butt from swallowing it.

Yes. This happens.

Can confirm. (That's all I'm going to say about that, except to say I was actually using a theoretically fit-for-purpose item.)

 

[seela]

Can confirm. (That's all I'm going to say about that, except to say I was actually using a theoretically fit-for-purpose item.)

I, thankfully, didn’t have to go to the ER, but J had to do some serious…digging.

It was a plug with a flared bottom, but somehow my greedy ass swallowed it anyway. J pounding the other hole while it happened probably caused it.

It happened the third or fourth time ever we met. Gotta say, the way he reacted and the scare we had, and the humiliation I felt when he fished out the plug, took our intimacy to a very deep (har har) level very fast.


And a tip for prolonged wear, lube around your anus as well. The flared bit will start to chafe at some point otherwise. Also something to take into consideration, if you wear it over night, for example, people tend to fart in their sleep… If you can’t release the gas, your stomach might get owie.

I wonder if there are plugs with vents that whistle when you fart with it in. Could be a hard core humiliation tool.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Sodomy taboo and also general promiscuity taboo - there's similar bullshit about how women who have too much sex end up with floppy vaginas.

there was a report somewhere recently that many porn actresses have to stop acting because of some issues at their vagina and/or anus

Well, yes you can fuck your body up by going to extremes.
A lot of the things you hear, from the concerned warnings to the ideas behind vulgar jokes about finding your old bike in there, are still bullshit.

Our bodies are resillient, but there are limits. Anyone who stretched to be able to do splits, knows you have to keep at it to keep that ability. It is still possible to hurt yourself and cause permanent damage, doing splits.

 

[Tallcajun]

I, thankfully, didn’t have to go to the ER, but J had to do some serious…digging.

It was a plug with a flared bottom, but somehow my greedy ass swallowed it anyway. J pounding the other hole while it happened probably caused it.

It happened the third or fourth time ever we met. Gotta say, the way he reacted and the scare we had, and the humiliation I felt when he fished out the plug, took our intimacy to a very deep (har har) level very fast.


And a tip for prolonged wear, lube around your anus as well. The flared bit will start to chafe at some point otherwise. Also something to take into consideration, if you wear it over night, for example, people tend to fart in their sleep… If you can’t release the gas, your stomach might get owie.

I wonder if there are plugs with vents that whistle when you fart with it in. Could be a hard core humiliation tool.

It doesn’t get any more intimate than this!

I like the whistle humiliation idea.
Better get a patent on that, seela.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Right? Butt plugs with fart vents, extra flared ends! - by seela.

I move the thread to Talk and now we discuss fart vents!

Seriously, though, that is an important thing to consider.

 

[twister947]

I, thankfully, didn’t have to go to the ER, but J had to do some serious…digging.

It was a plug with a flared bottom, but somehow my greedy ass swallowed it anyway. J pounding the other hole while it happened probably caused it.

It happened the third or fourth time ever we met. Gotta say, the way he reacted and the scare we had, and the humiliation I felt when he fished out the plug, took our intimacy to a very deep (har har) level very fast.


And a tip for prolonged wear, lube around your anus as well. The flared bit will start to chafe at some point otherwise. Also something to take into consideration, if you wear it over night, for example, people tend to fart in their sleep… If you can’t release the gas, your stomach might get owie.

I wonder if there are plugs with vents that whistle when you fart with it in. Could be a hard core humiliation tool.

With the sphincter out of play, the whistles could occur any time or place. Hard core, indeed.

 

[seela]

Sorry for making this a fart thread now… but it is something to consider about prolonged wear.

With the sphincter out of play, the whistles could occur any time or place. Hard core, indeed.

Exactly…

 

[lisaharlot]

Ask a doctor

Or find advice on a message board that you’re sure is coming from a doctor. The only things I know for certain about anal is use lots of lube and make sure whatever you put in you can get out.

Have fun!

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I've done no-holds-barred sex ed workshops for kinky/queer adults. Lots on solo activities and avoiding infections, and how to avoid being a burden on the NHS by not ending up in A&E(the ER) with something stuck up your arse.

Basically stick to items designed for the job, but don't trust that they're suitable just because they're sold for the purpose. Non-porous (or put a condom over it), and don't trust manufacturers to make the flange large enough. If it's not a good 2 inches radius, don't trust it. Don't rely on the manufacturer - I mean,how many people are ever going to ask for a refund?

Though the chap I knew who suffered a glass plug getting stuck and not possible to extract with forceps (they lassoed string round it in the end and got it out without surgery) claims he went back to the shop to demand a refund...

Prolonged wear is fine if you want but to make it more comfortable you may need to re-lube it every 5-6 hours, and also remove briefly to poo. Farts seem to manage their own triumphant escape just fine...

 

[AlexBailey]

Right? Butt plugs with fart vents, extra flared ends! - by seela.

Years ago I worked with a guy who was always passing "silent but deadly" gas - the kind that would make it feel like your eyes were turning into raisins. No one wanted to work with him - I swear, he would save them up until we got on the road then you'd have to roll all the windows down even if it was a blizzard.

One day I brought him a plastic whoopie-whistle - a little red plastic thing you blow through and it makes a high pitched "wheeeee" sound. I gave it to him in front of the crew.

"Stick this in your ass so we can have a little warning!"

He laughed and laughed but he kept it in his pocket and started blowing it every time he had to fart. We'd be having a safety meeting in the shop and suddenly Larry would blow his whistle - people would literally run out into the snow to get away from his paint-peelers.

One apprentice thought he actually kept the whistle in his ass.

If someone makes a whistled butt plug you would definitely have at least one customer.

 

[ADevilishAngel]

I have a shampoo bottle up my ass. At least 3 cms in diameter. I put it in and lie on the bed and work on my laptop. Whenever I feel naughty I start fucking myself with it. This was recommended to me by someone to ensure that my rim stays relaxed when the asshole is filled for a long time

This has probably been said but with anal play stick to things that are made for anal play. Wide base so your ass doesn’t eat the item. Yes it’s hot to think about using other objects but it is quite dangerous.

I had a recent embarrassing experience with an anal toy. Let me tell you the hospital didn’t do anything special to get that bitch out. I kicked the doctor and told him to throw that fucking plug away when he literally fisted my ass and yanked it out. Then made me call someone to pick me up or they wouldn’t give me pain meds.
I was really glad he didn’t come back to check on me. Lol

 

[Tallcajun]

^^^
Wow! That is a scary, embarrassing situation.

 

[emme8]

There are apparently people who make a living measuring rodent sphincters. How odd.

Tax dollars at work for you.