Desultory and Impulsive

[y=mx+b]

Noted.

 

[y=mx+b]

I think about her
And it felt like a little more

But but she wanted me to tell her
That I would outright end this all.

 

[y=mx+b]

She kept tight hours
Texting and calling only during the business week
The weekend was her time to be her and nothing else
An escape

That was how she liked it
That was how I liked it

It kept her away
I could think
And forget
And quietly sleep my sleep

We didn't talk much
We don't talk much

She touched my arm though during our conversation

It felt nice

I could tell she wanted a hug from me as I walked down the driveway of where she lived.

We hadn't seen each other since winter

It was weird seeing her in summer clothing
It was comforting

She lights up a certain way
Her composure
How she carries herself when she sees me

I don't think about her

Not as much as I've carried on

But...


I did want to hug her


I do want to hug her
But I know that if I did

Things would spiral


Because that's how things go

 

[y=mx+b]

I've been walking the streets at night
Just trying to get it right

It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in the crowd

And the streets don't change but maybe the names
I ain't got time for the game

...because I need you.

 

[y=mx+b]

Not a big GnR fan.

But that last verse and how Axle sings it is pretty fucking spot-on.

 

[rubydlite]

<~~~~likes GnR

 

[y=mx+b]

<~~~~confesses in making multiple attempts to do the little serpentine dance that Axle does.

 

[rubydlite]

Video. ..or it didn't happen

 

[y=mx+b]

Video. ..or it didn't happen

Nope.
I guess it all never happened.

Moving on...

 

[y=mx+b]

She asked if she could hold it while I did so.

I replied...

 

[tiny_tits]

Pretty much all that I care to be occupied with is sleep and orgasms. That's it. That's all.

... and Pizza

 

[y=mx+b]

... and Pizza

I can get onboard with that. Yes.

 

[y=mx+b]

Seeing how my wife was all busy in the kitchen... she offered to help feed, water and collect the eggs in the chicken coop.

Well... feed and collect eggs, but not water because past experiences of carrying the water proved difficult and messy.

The thing is.... outside of those few experiences, she's seldom helped with chores. Particularly when I'm off to do them myself anyway.

As I filled the buckets of water she made her way to the coop.

I do my best not to take notice, but biology is biology and I watched her body move as she walked across the driveway

Buckets full, I too then made my way towards the coop.

As awkward as carrying two five-gallon buckets of water is, my entry into the coop was everything but stealthy yet as I rounded the corner; there I saw her, crouched down on her heels, back towards me, hair pulled up over the front of her shoulder, collecting eggs, with a solid inch of her ass crack exposed for me to see, with no attempt to cover or turn away.

Although there is nothing, she does things like this from time to time and I'm never really sure what to make of it because it's not really a flirt per say, yet it's also not an act of carelessness.

 

[y=mx+b]

No.
Did she not dance?

Dance her dance of sleep?

Soundly like one of those birds
The kind you kick up in the night
While walking the woods
With green leaves
And twigs
Snapping underfoot
The sound

The sound
Like a bra snap

Some kind of elastic fabric
Across soft skin

A held moment of anticipation
The waking up of having realized you fell asleep
The joy of having had

I thought a thought in the shower
I watched it flow down the drain
Along with the sweat of work

I stepped out
And dried off

And thought about writing
...and hand holding

Fingers interlocked
Hands clasped
Arms swinging like they do
Between two thighs walking

...or between two naked bodies
Laying in bed

 

[y=mx+b]

It wasn't that his penis was large
It was just that it was

Substantial.


I just wanted to take hold of it
And hold it against my face

So I did


It never got old

The feel of it
Flaccid
And slowly coming alive to my touch

How it felt against my lips
The head of it
The heat of it
The smell of his body
And how his slack balls felt in my hands

There's just something about it all
The want of it all

And all of him
In my mouth.

 

[y=mx+b]

It's all so masculine
And brings about a different sense of reality
One where I am in control
Yet one where I am not in control

Feeling him become erect
--because of me
Is a very powerful experience
But how it makes me want it to happen all the more
Strips that power away

 

[y=mx+b]

I love how she loves to suck my dick
How it's never really --just sucking my dick--
But sucking --me--

Perhaps it's weird how there can be a difference
One would think that sucking dick is sucking dick and that because a guy has
one and a woman is willing to suck it, the act of doing so is good enough

 

[y=mx+b]

She took me into her mouth
And it felt
Like my whole body
Slid into a warm bath

It was all something
My life needed to very much feel

 

[y=mx+b]

Thinking thick thoughts
About thighs just as thick


Fuck yes I am
Because that's the kind of guy I am.

It's time to force feed some fuck
To a woman I just love to fuck

Wet fuck
Sloppy sexy tit slapping clit flicking fucking fuck fuck

 

[y=mx+b]

So...

My widow neighbor kinda has this crush on me

 

[y=mx+b]

...and I find it a struggle not to reply back to her with: "the thought of you outside topless has been carrying me throughout the day."

 

[raindancer]

I love reading you because I find myself wondering what it's like to be loved or loathed by you. Few people interest me long enough to ponder either scenario.

 

[y=mx+b]

I love reading you because I find myself wondering what it's like to be loved or loathed by you. Few people interest me long enough to ponder either scenario.

I reached out to the one individual most qualified to respond to see if she'd be willing to offer any insight as to what it's like

She replied "There is no mystery. Fire and ice."

I have little doubt that you find her reply somewhat rather unsatisfactory and entertained the thought of making an attempt to provide you with your own account via two separate posts, one going on and on about loving you and the other going on and on about loathing you--but have come to feel that the such would miss the mark of providing you with a genuine experience and be just as unsatisfactory.


As much as I loved your post I hated it equally. Which I guess is the best, most genuine experience I can give you.

I hated it in that it made me think of her and how much I've hurt her throughout the years.

It is easy for one to sit on the sidelines and observe and fantasize and long to experience the swing of being so loved and loathed with such equally raw intensity and not really realize just how exhausting and abusive it really is outside the realm if role playing

 

[raindancer]

Actually, "Fire and Ice" is perfectly satisfactory.
I'm sorry if my post caused any discomfort. I assure you, my intention was honestly and nothing more. Thank you for indulging me.

 

[y=mx+b]

Actually, "Fire and Ice" is perfectly satisfactory.
I'm sorry if my post caused any discomfort. I assure you, my intention was honestly and nothing more. Thank you for indulging me.

Sorry for having gone a bit on the soft side.

At the end of the day, she's a made woman and I'm just another disposable ruffian.

So.... yeah. Fuck her.