Could someone edit this to be more erotic. Keeping the same length and story line please

[Sprinklegenie]

In a quaint little town, lived a husband and wife named Alex and Mia. They were a loving couple who shared an unusual secret—a fantasy list of celebrities they would be allowed to spend a night with if the opportunity arose. Alex’s list was filled with the likes of Blake Lively, Emma Watson, and Scarlett Johansson, while Mia’s included Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and a local football player named Lucas.

One evening, Alex and Mia decided to go for a night out to their favorite pub to enjoy some quality time together. As they sat at the bar, sipping on their drinks, Mia’s heart skipped a beat when she spotted Lucas across the room. She couldn’t believe her luck—the football player from her list was right there in the same pub!

Unable to contain her excitement, Mia approached Lucas and struck up a conversation. To her surprise, he was friendly and engaging, and they found themselves talking for hours. As the night wore on, the connection between Mia and Lucas grew stronger, and she couldn’t resist the chemistry that seemed to ignite between them.

* You may only post short snippets (less than 3 paragraphs or so) for discussion.

 

[dmallord]

In a quaint little town, lived a husband and wife named Alex and Mia. They were a loving couple who shared an unusual secret—a fantasy list of celebrities they would be allowed to spend a night with if the opportunity arose. Alex’s list was filled with the likes of Blake Lively, Emma Watson, and Scarlett Johansson, while Mia’s included Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and a local football player named Lucas.

One evening, Alex and Mia decided to go for a night out to their favorite pub to enjoy some quality time together. As they sat at the bar, sipping on their drinks, Mia’s heart skipped a beat when she spotted Lucas across the room. She couldn’t believe her luck—the football player from her list was right there in the same pub!

Unable to contain her excitement, Mia approached Lucas and struck up a conversation. To her surprise, he was friendly and engaging, and they found themselves talking for hours. As the night wore on, the connection between Mia and Lucas grew stronger, and she couldn’t resist the chemistry that seemed to ignite between them.

** Deleted extra

Probably not. You have the makings of a good story, but not for the Loving Wives category they hate this type of outcome. It is a nice outline however and you write well enough to make this work. Attempting to maintain the same length means cutting good material you already have. It isn't going to do justice to your premise. And by the way – please note you have Mia taking Lucas home and spending hours together but she returns the next morning - home again, without having left, it appears.

Lit's minimum publishing length is 750 words. You have 343 words per MS Word count. So you have room for adding sizzle. A story like this on Lit would minimally be 3,000 to 5,000 words to get some emotional appeal from it.

Almost forgot, the Forum only allows 10,000 characters so you need a way for someone to return a longer story to you - think about that also.

What's your purpose for asking to spice this up? Want to publish on Lit or for something personal?

dmallord author of 50+ stories

 

[dmallord]

In a quaint little town, lived a husband and wife named Alex and Mia. They were a loving couple who shared an unusual secret—a fantasy list of celebrities they would be allowed to spend a night with if the opportunity arose. Alex’s list was filled with the likes of Blake Lively, Emma Watson, and Scarlett Johansson, while Mia’s included Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and a local football player named Lucas.

One evening, Alex and Mia decided to go for a night out to their favorite pub to enjoy some quality time together. As they sat at the bar, sipping on their drinks, Mia’s heart skipped a beat when she spotted Lucas across the room. She couldn’t believe her luck—the football player from her list was right there in the same pub!

Unable to contain her excitement, Mia approached Lucas and struck up a conversation. To her surprise, he was friendly and engaging, and they found themselves talking for hours. As the night wore on, the connection between Mia and Lucas grew stronger, and she couldn’t resist the chemistry that seemed to ignite between them.

* You may only post short snippets (less than 3 paragraphs or so) for discussion.

@Sprinklegenie I have a version of just over 800 words, but you see the red notification that popped up. I can email a copy to you. Some of your content is missing. The moderator cut it out. Start a conversation using the envelope symbol in the upper right-hand corner, and we can discuss how to get my version to you.

 

[StillStunned]

This exact same post has appeared on the Story Feedback forum, and the consensus is that it's likely to be AI-generated.

 

[dmallord]

This exact same post has appeared on the Story Feedback forum, and the consensus is that it's likely to be AI-generated.

I was getting the same vibe about AI generating this storyline as I worked on it. It seemed so contrived. I don't believe AI allows the erotic content, so the sender is asking for that to be flushed out.

This part is where I felt the AI spider sense kicking in "Unable to contain her excitement, Mia approached Lucas and struck up a conversation. To her surprise, he was friendly and engaging, and they found themselves talking for hours." Who writes sophomoric sing-song crap like this?

I created a short version - not much but turned the three-hundred-word version into 800 words. Still, it's a little vacuous. I changed some of the 'show' to dialogue and added some f*words for grins. I Bet AI's mom would be choking on my enhanced version.

Just for grins, if anyone wants to read it - contact me - I'll send it.

 

[Jmanchu]

A story is erotic once you add the dirty details. And this seems like a summary for a plot, not an actual story, so I don't know what you mean by same length. Are you asking us to write the story, or just "eroticize" the plot summary??? Maybe learn to jailbreak yo AI, but keep in mind that ChatGPT is moderated and you risk getting banned for jailbreaking their bot to generate pornographic material. Maybe write the actual story yourself.

 

[dmallord]

A story is erotic once you add the dirty details. And this seems like a summary for a plot, not an actual story, so I don't know what you mean by same length. Are you asking us to write the story, or just "eroticize" the plot summary??? Maybe learn to jailbreak yo AI, but keep in mind that ChatGPT is moderated and you risk getting banned for jailbreaking their bot to generate pornographic material. Maybe write the actual story yourself.

Also, note Lit doesn't post AI-generated stories as per its guidelines. If it detects or suspects it is AI, it gets pulled.

For grins, I found CHAT v 3 and asked it if it could detect the posted info as AI-generated. On my modified version - it hedged and said parts of it looked as if a real author wrote it, and the parts I didn't change were IDed as probably AI. I was flattered – it recognized me as a real author!

I haven't heard from the submitter. Probably, not likely to after reading this.

 

[Jmanchu]

Also, note Lit doesn't post AI-generated stories as per its guidelines. If it detects or suspects it is AI, it gets pulled.

For grins, I found CHAT v 3 and asked it if it could detect the posted info as AI-generated. On my modified version - it hedged and said parts of it looked as if a real author wrote it, and the parts I didn't change were IDed as probably AI. I was flattered – it recognized me as a real author!

I haven't heard from the submitter. Probably, not likely to after reading this.

Haha, that's funny, bro.