Yasuo_
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2015
- Posts
- 571
This is a shot in the dark, and boy is it a big one. I put this thread at risk for huge arguments, fighting, trolling, etc. It's better to try anyway.
I grew up Christian and went to church. I had Jesus and God hammered into my head for 25+ years. I could tell you an entire life story, but to get straight to the point, I lost my faith about 2 months ago. Let me be very clear, for years I was losing interest in any kind of church activity, praying, bible reading, etc. I never cared to do it. Because of this, I was warned that maybe I wasn't *truly* a Christian and maybe I would still burn in hell. After all, I basically just lived my life normally and labeled myself as a Christian just for the purpose of not dying and going to hell.
Well, it took a very long time, but I finally came to the conclusion that for me to come to peace about my life and for me to understand my problems with depression, I was going to have to understand where some of my fear came from. I needed to realize that no amount of begging to an invisible man in the sky would help me. I was alone in my struggle. As sad as that is, it made sense to me and it gave me a sense of urgency that I needed to fix me and not wait for a deity to fix it.
So what's my problem? Well, I still struggle every day and I can't let go of thoughts of possibly making a mistake. I'm constantly thinking "What if I'm making a mistake and these Christians are right?" This honestly feels like something I will struggle with my entire life almost like a prison sentence. I've done the research, watched countless Youtube videos of famous physicists and atheists. Non-stop, I am trying to find peace with finally being able to separate myself from religion, and it's really fucking hard. It brings out a lot of emotion. I'm angry, sad, and just fighting a battle against my own self.
Pascal's Wager is my toughest fight yet. For those who don't know, it's the idea that there are only two options. If the Christian is wrong, what's the worst that could happen? They'd just die and nothing. If the atheist is wrong, they obviously are going to burn in hell for eternity. I understand that it's a false dichotomy because there are not just two potential options after death. What if some other God is real and we lived the wrong religion. The concept of hell is still a difficult obstacle in my path to freedom, though.
Let me know if you have any experience with this and if you can help. I do *not* want to be convinced that I'm going through a trial from God. Fuck that. In my opinion, if God does exist, he's a real asshole.
I grew up Christian and went to church. I had Jesus and God hammered into my head for 25+ years. I could tell you an entire life story, but to get straight to the point, I lost my faith about 2 months ago. Let me be very clear, for years I was losing interest in any kind of church activity, praying, bible reading, etc. I never cared to do it. Because of this, I was warned that maybe I wasn't *truly* a Christian and maybe I would still burn in hell. After all, I basically just lived my life normally and labeled myself as a Christian just for the purpose of not dying and going to hell.
Well, it took a very long time, but I finally came to the conclusion that for me to come to peace about my life and for me to understand my problems with depression, I was going to have to understand where some of my fear came from. I needed to realize that no amount of begging to an invisible man in the sky would help me. I was alone in my struggle. As sad as that is, it made sense to me and it gave me a sense of urgency that I needed to fix me and not wait for a deity to fix it.
So what's my problem? Well, I still struggle every day and I can't let go of thoughts of possibly making a mistake. I'm constantly thinking "What if I'm making a mistake and these Christians are right?" This honestly feels like something I will struggle with my entire life almost like a prison sentence. I've done the research, watched countless Youtube videos of famous physicists and atheists. Non-stop, I am trying to find peace with finally being able to separate myself from religion, and it's really fucking hard. It brings out a lot of emotion. I'm angry, sad, and just fighting a battle against my own self.
Pascal's Wager is my toughest fight yet. For those who don't know, it's the idea that there are only two options. If the Christian is wrong, what's the worst that could happen? They'd just die and nothing. If the atheist is wrong, they obviously are going to burn in hell for eternity. I understand that it's a false dichotomy because there are not just two potential options after death. What if some other God is real and we lived the wrong religion. The concept of hell is still a difficult obstacle in my path to freedom, though.
Let me know if you have any experience with this and if you can help. I do *not* want to be convinced that I'm going through a trial from God. Fuck that. In my opinion, if God does exist, he's a real asshole.