SilverVeil
Cockbiting Fucktard
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2001
- Posts
- 2,560
I searched for other threads asking this and nothing came up so here goes...
Do you think a person is born with natural Dominant or submissive personalities?
I spent years in a relationship where I was "forced into" acting the Dominant personality in our marriage. If I did not do it, then it wouldn't get done. And I was miserable. Our love making was so so. Only orgasm I could get was from my vibrator. I couldn't get him to be assertive or aggressive at all. In anything. In bed or in life.
I've spent my life searching for something. Something I didn't know how to describe. I've lived to please and try to make happy, people who did not appreciate me in the slightest. They just took and took. Never thinking the one giving or serving might need care too. I was empty. After my divorce I was emotionally dead other than a deep depression and just plain sadness. (there is a difference. trust me) I had cancer. No one was there while I dealt with it. I survived a heart attack I am told literally killed me. They said I had no pulse or heartbeat. (I can not verify this, I was either unconscious or... actually dead.) No one visited. No one was there to hold my hand. I felt so alone, so small and insignificant. Unheard and unseen by those who were always there with their hands out. They sure as fuck saw me then.
And I kept giving to them. Because that was my nature. To try and help. I can not bear to see someone unhappy or in need. If I have two dollars and I have enough, I will give you one of my dollars so you don't go without. That is my nature. I finally wised up and started saying "no" to them when they wanted money. Boy, they stopped coming around pretty damn quick. And I had 2 people from my old life still by my side. The only ones who tried to care about me.
Now that chapter is closed. A open book with fresh new pages is in front of me. Waiting for me to utter the first words of my new story. And I know deep inside the words I have needed to say for so long. What I am searching for is not just a what, it is also a Who.
My new book opened a few weeks ago. Right here. When I opened myself up and posted for the first time in years. Making me vulnerable. Exposing my insecurity. Tomorrow I am starting my new adventure into my unknown. And I know in my heart, in my soul when I am in my car, letting that Who know my adventure is beginning, as we hang up, I will say the two words that will begin it.
"Yes, Master."
Funny. I've been a member here for over 20 years. And it's taken me this long to realize this online community is my home. My safety.
I truly believe I was born a submissive. Now I can start discovering who I really am and how I can be happy.
Updates to come if you're interested.
Do you think a person is born with natural Dominant or submissive personalities?
I spent years in a relationship where I was "forced into" acting the Dominant personality in our marriage. If I did not do it, then it wouldn't get done. And I was miserable. Our love making was so so. Only orgasm I could get was from my vibrator. I couldn't get him to be assertive or aggressive at all. In anything. In bed or in life.
I've spent my life searching for something. Something I didn't know how to describe. I've lived to please and try to make happy, people who did not appreciate me in the slightest. They just took and took. Never thinking the one giving or serving might need care too. I was empty. After my divorce I was emotionally dead other than a deep depression and just plain sadness. (there is a difference. trust me) I had cancer. No one was there while I dealt with it. I survived a heart attack I am told literally killed me. They said I had no pulse or heartbeat. (I can not verify this, I was either unconscious or... actually dead.) No one visited. No one was there to hold my hand. I felt so alone, so small and insignificant. Unheard and unseen by those who were always there with their hands out. They sure as fuck saw me then.
And I kept giving to them. Because that was my nature. To try and help. I can not bear to see someone unhappy or in need. If I have two dollars and I have enough, I will give you one of my dollars so you don't go without. That is my nature. I finally wised up and started saying "no" to them when they wanted money. Boy, they stopped coming around pretty damn quick. And I had 2 people from my old life still by my side. The only ones who tried to care about me.
Now that chapter is closed. A open book with fresh new pages is in front of me. Waiting for me to utter the first words of my new story. And I know deep inside the words I have needed to say for so long. What I am searching for is not just a what, it is also a Who.
My new book opened a few weeks ago. Right here. When I opened myself up and posted for the first time in years. Making me vulnerable. Exposing my insecurity. Tomorrow I am starting my new adventure into my unknown. And I know in my heart, in my soul when I am in my car, letting that Who know my adventure is beginning, as we hang up, I will say the two words that will begin it.
"Yes, Master."
Funny. I've been a member here for over 20 years. And it's taken me this long to realize this online community is my home. My safety.
I truly believe I was born a submissive. Now I can start discovering who I really am and how I can be happy.
Updates to come if you're interested.