Jackie.Hikaru
Bajo la luna gitana
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2019
- Posts
- 942
Hi!
Looking for someone to give me some honest feedback and advice on how to improve a story...
The story is a historical fiction involving a female Jewish sex expert in 1933 Nazi Germany giving a secret lecture in Heidelberg, Germany. I'm not sure what genre it fits into (which is part of the issue I think...), but it involves lesbian sex, exhibitionism, and hypnotism. To give some further context, this short story is really the first act of a larger 50k story I wrote involving sexpionage and revenge which I plan to release serially... I just need figure out how to get this first act to work!
Its 10K words, and maybe 90% there with grammar. What I'm concerned most about is whether the plot and the erotic scenes work... After reading through it, my instinct tells me the story just doesn't have 'it'.
If you're able to do it, I'm not in any rush to get it published, so a week or so to go through it is fine. I can also send the file as a google doc (preference) or word doc. Shoot me a PM if you're interested. Thanks!
Looking for someone to give me some honest feedback and advice on how to improve a story...
The story is a historical fiction involving a female Jewish sex expert in 1933 Nazi Germany giving a secret lecture in Heidelberg, Germany. I'm not sure what genre it fits into (which is part of the issue I think...), but it involves lesbian sex, exhibitionism, and hypnotism. To give some further context, this short story is really the first act of a larger 50k story I wrote involving sexpionage and revenge which I plan to release serially... I just need figure out how to get this first act to work!
Its 10K words, and maybe 90% there with grammar. What I'm concerned most about is whether the plot and the erotic scenes work... After reading through it, my instinct tells me the story just doesn't have 'it'.
If you're able to do it, I'm not in any rush to get it published, so a week or so to go through it is fine. I can also send the file as a google doc (preference) or word doc. Shoot me a PM if you're interested. Thanks!
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