BDSM in my stories - switches

[gunhilltrain]

I didn't realize this until I started writing here, but it seems most interesting when couples switch roles within the relationship.

Usually it's the women in these who are the most imaginative. Even when they are playing at being submissive, they are actually partially or wholly running the show. It's usually they who invent the scenario and they may create much of the details.

They also have a tendency to surprise their men by making the switch without warning. They may start out as dominant or the man may start out as dominant, but they will usually catch him off-guard when they change over. I was having some fun writing one these scenes today.

In any case, these games usually go on go on for a few hours at most. In all my stories, most of their relationship is outside of the role-plays.

That's not the only way it could be done, but I usually seem to write it that way. At lot of this is still in the works and hasn't been published yet.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hi! Was there a question in there somewhere?

Even when they are playing at being submissive, they are actually partially or wholly running the show.

FYI this is called 'topping from the bottom' and is generally considered a negative behavior.

 

[Ropebunny]

Hi! Was there a question in there somewhere?



FYI this is called 'topping from the bottom' and is generally considered a negative behavior.

It could also just simply be a top and a bottom having fun the way they enjoy it. One can act dominant or submissive without identifying as a dominant or submissive and that is no less valid than anything else under the great big sexual umbrella we play under.



What you describe OP sounds interesting - the feeling of a power struggle can be very intoxicating (why do you think some people become politicians )

Also, whichever party has the neediest desires often wins out in driving sexual activities and I’m generalising here but I wouldn’t be surprised if women are more likely to have heavier detailed fantasies and a greater need for the specifics in play. Switching is a great way to communicate what you like and enjoy, especially if being able to verbally convey that is difficult. It’s also a lot of fun!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

It could also just simply be a top and a bottom having fun the way they enjoy it. One can act dominant or submissive without identifying as a dominant or submissive and that is no less valid than anything else under the great big sexual umbrella we play under.



What you describe OP sounds interesting - the feeling of a power struggle can be very intoxicating (why do you think some people become politicians )

Also, whichever party has the neediest desires often wins out in driving sexual activities and I’m generalising here but I wouldn’t be surprised if women are more likely to have heavier detailed fantasies and a greater need for the specifics in play. Switching is a great way to communicate what you like and enjoy, especially if being able to verbally convey that is difficult. It’s also a lot of fun!

Fair enough.

 

[ThePhun1]

Hi! Was there a question in there somewhere?



FYI this is called 'topping from the bottom' and is generally considered a negative behavior.

The tests tell me I am a hetroflexable male switch with strong submissive tendencies however I could not switch with my dominant first I highly doubt she would go along with that further I would probably be punished for making such a suggestion in my mind I have to keep my top a top a sub to me would have to be a different person, one that I felt dominant of not submissive to, but that is just me it could be very different for you

 

[gunhilltrain]

It could also just simply be a top and a bottom having fun the way they enjoy it. One can act dominant or submissive without identifying as a dominant or submissive and that is no less valid than anything else under the great big sexual umbrella we play under.

What you describe OP sounds interesting - the feeling of a power struggle can be very intoxicating (why do you think some people become politicians )

Also, whichever party has the neediest desires often wins out in driving sexual activities and I’m generalising here but I wouldn’t be surprised if women are more likely to have heavier detailed fantasies and a greater need for the specifics in play. Switching is a great way to communicate what you like and enjoy, especially if being able to verbally convey that is difficult. It’s also a lot of fun!

I'm mostly talking about things that I've written about rather actually done. Generally the men in these like what their partners have cooked up. Sometimes it's the man who was originally dominant; sometimes it was the woman. I'm not sure if it's a "struggle" for power - I'd have to thnk about it more.

In these stories the woman starts out as dominant. She is also the one to suggest the switch, but he invents some of the details.

https://www.literotica.com/s/queen-of-diamonds-1

https://www.literotica.com/s/protected-by-lentz-trucking

 

[Ropebunny]

I'm mostly talking about things that I've written about rather actually done. Generally the men in these like what their partners have cooked up. Sometimes it's the man who was originally dominant; sometimes it was the woman. I'm not sure if it's a "struggle" for power - I'd have to thnk about it more.

In these stories the woman starts out as dominant. She is also the one to suggest the switch, but he invents some of the details.

https://www.literotica.com/s/queen-of-diamonds-1

https://www.literotica.com/s/protected-by-lentz-trucking

I’ve had a quick flick though the stories you’ve linked (not really my cup of tea). I’m having a bit of trouble figuring out what it is you’d like to discuss exactly, other than promoting your writing. Your stories don’t look like what real life D/s looks like so it’s not really possible to analyse the themes in any rl context, and even if it was I don’t have in the interest in reading your stories to do so.

I would though be happy to read your own reflections on your work - you clearly have in interest in kink but have some way to go in depicting realistic interactions. I’m sure if there some places you need more specific advice about this we could have a really good discussion

 

[gunhilltrain]

I’ve had a quick flick though the stories you’ve linked (not really my cup of tea). I’m having a bit of trouble figuring out what it is you’d like to discuss exactly, other than promoting your writing. Your stories don’t look like what real life D/s looks like so it’s not really possible to analyse the themes in any rl context, and even if it was I don’t have in the interest in reading your stories to do so.

I would though be happy to read your own reflections on your work - you clearly have in interest in kink but have some way to go in depicting realistic interactions. I’m sure if there some places you need more specific advice about this we could have a really good discussion

Ah, promoting my own writing - there's a lot of that going on with these boards.

I just made it up; it's not supposed to be representative of real life, whatever that may be. It sort of shows how I would like to do it myself. The people in these stories know it's a kind of goofy, very short-term game. They probably are improvising and don't even know how other people do it. From what little I've heard about real-life practices, those are a little too "serious" perhaps for what I would like. Not everybody has to do it the same way.

The idea of BDSM as a "lifestyle" instead of an occasional game isn't really my cup of tea. About 95% of the time the characters in here have turned it "off."

 

[Ropebunny]

Ah, promoting my own writing - there's a lot of that going on with these boards.

I just made it up; it's not supposed to be representative of real life, whatever that may be. It sort of shows how I would like to do it myself. The people in these stories know it's a kind of goofy, very short-term game. They probably are improvising and don't even know how other people do it. From what little I've heard about real-life practices, those are a little too "serious" perhaps for what I would like. Not everybody has to do it the same way.

The idea of BDSM as a "lifestyle" instead of an occasional game isn't really my cup of tea. About 95% of the time the characters in here have turned it "off."

Fair enough. I’m not the fantasy police and I know all too well how minds can go to places we don’t fully get. But I’m just not interested in reading sexy stories presented this way, that could never exist (I’m a dominant woman outside of the bedroom and in no reality am I spanking a random chauffeur outside a warehouse out of choice). It’s like reading a romance novel - pure, high fantasy. No substance.

Realism enhances writing, as does understanding the subject matter. Now this doesn’t matter if you’re only interested in writing for yourself, or for the process. But if you are as you say you are, looking to promote, then perhaps you should consider how to polish what you’re offering.

 

[lc69hunter]

There are very few serious discussions about a switch relationship. I am a switch, but that means nothing unless I am in a relationship with another switch who understands the dynamic of taking or giving up control at times. Most of the time we are just a normal married couple, but one of us will give a sign to the other that we want to give up control for the weekend.

It is a dynamic not discussed often enough. It has nothing to do with D/S, or Femdom, or anything related