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Ask a MtF TG a question

I understood it as a general commentary on who uses the word, who is entitled to, why some people might or might not wish to, and whether or not it can or should be reclaimed. Serano is a very careful thinker in that she takes care to define her terms very clearly (this is quite apparent in her first book) and looks at the issue from many angles. She also makes it clear that it's her own opinion. Does she accomplish anything with it? I don't know, but I think it might be useful reading (if perhaps a bit daunting) for those who are not genderqueer/trans. I at least found it an interesting overview of the word's history and uses. If nothing else, she shows that it means a lot of things to a lot of people and that reactions to it are varied even within the LGBTQ community.

I did have to struggle a bit to reach the end... :rolleyes:
 
I'd just like to take her out for a few drinks and get her to unwind a bit!

Was your vision all stripey after reading that white on black text?! Some people pay good money to mess with their vision that way!!
 
stickygirl said:
I'd just like to take her out for a few drinks and get her to unwind a bit!

Was your vision all stripey after reading that white on black text?! Some people pay good money to mess with their vision that way!!
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At least it wasn't light blue on dark blue or something horrific like that.

I guess if you're in the 'activist' space all the time (touring, doing interviews, writing your next book, etc.) it might be hard to get out of it on occasion. I'd love to take you both out for drinks and just sit back and listen to the exchange. It'd be interesting to hear Stella's thoughts as well.
 
Never mind the questions

Here's an obviously deluded, crack-pot, whacko explaining why trans* people exist ;)

http://youtu.be/rzbtSeVZeEE

(Norman Spack is awesome and definitely worth listening to)
 
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Getting the feeling more and more lately that I should've called this thread Give a MtF TG an answer - I'm fresh out of them... but as ever, I can deal with the simple questions so fire away
and this
tumblr_n0vxhes5FH1s82cuyo3_r1_500.gif
 
it's obvious he's deluded ...

... He doesn't grasp a simple concept. trans* people DON'T "exist", they must be engineered. But then again, people sometimes make science a little more complex than it needs to be. What I will say about trans* people is this. They are confronted with something that can be as crushing to the Human condition as the big "C". A Demon that can compel an otherwise fine human being to take they're own life. And they absolutley have the one right that we must , without fail, grant to each other. The quality of mercy.



stickygirl said:
Here's an obviously deluded, crack-pot, whacko explaining why trans* people exist

http://youtu.be/rzbtSeVZeEE
Click to expand...
 
Hi Sasha, I've changed my post because I didn't make it obvious I was being ironic - I'm often ironic :)

I know where you're coming from and we're just splitting hairs, but trans* do exist and the brilliant Norman Spack and other scientist do provide the best cure available. The demon is not inside us - it's cis and it's out there: we don't want to take our own lives but when we're not allowed to live as we need to be, it's often the only choice. I don't condone people taking their lives but I totally understand it.
Thanks for commenting :rose:
 
BradBigBrain said:
When did you first know?

This boy knew his whole life and his parents recognized it early.
Click to expand...
Hi 3B, thanks for stopping by!

In a way I've always known, but having a sense of what you are gender-wise and having a language to describe it are different things. I always used to play with my sisters' things and it was made clear to me there was a difference between her stuff and mine, but for a long time I just thought it was because of who they belonged to, rather than it being a gender thing. Then I began to realise my preferences upset other people: Mum was super-tolerant but I knew I crossing a line and the last thing I wanted to do was upset her, so I hid myself behind a facade and became a creature of secrets and quite withdrawn. Maybe that's why I'm such a big-mouth now because I'm playing catch-up? :D
We're all different though and some of those really little kids are so strong willed: I was too scared to come out like that until my hormones started screaming at me and it felt like I was drowning.
 
tumblr_n6pb2dd3211tzf30so1_1280.png


This is why things need to change. This is why I started this thread. Ask what ever you like, because if we talk and spread the word, then maybe we could remove a dot or two :heart:
 
BradBigBrain said:
When did you first know?

This boy knew his whole life and his parents recognized it early.
Click to expand...

Touching video - and cudos to the parents for not trying to 'beat it out of him' - so to speak.


stickygirl said:
Hi 3B, thanks for stopping by!

In a way I've always known, but having a sense of what you are gender-wise and having a language to describe it are different things. I always used to play with my sisters' things and it was made clear to me there was a difference between her stuff and mine, but for a long time I just thought it was because of who they belonged to, rather than it being a gender thing. Then I began to realise my preferences upset other people: Mum was super-tolerant but I knew I crossing a line and the last thing I wanted to do was upset her, so I hid myself behind a facade and became a creature of secrets and quite withdrawn. Maybe that's why I'm such a big-mouth now because I'm playing catch-up? :D
We're all different though and some of those really little kids are so strong willed: I was too scared to come out like that until my hormones started screaming at me and it felt like I was drowning.
Click to expand...

A couple of questions: (and forgive me if these have been asked before)

1. You mentioned that your mum was super tolerant... but did you have friends or other grown-ups who knew and were supportive?

2. Was there a specific moment or event that convinced you to stop hiding behind the facade?
 
deyv said:
Touching video - and cudos to the parents for not trying to 'beat it out of him' - so to speak.
Click to expand...
Or just beat him - for real...

deyv said:
A couple of questions: (and forgive me if these have been asked before)

1. You mentioned that your mum was super tolerant... but did you have friends or other grown-ups who knew and were supportive?

2. Was there a specific moment or event that convinced you to stop hiding behind the facade?
Click to expand...

Woo - good questions!
1. I had a close friend at school and I tried telling her before anyone else. She didn't really know what to make of it and even once I learnt more about it and we talked, she was always a bit perplexed. She had her own problems anyway...
And then friends of the family were OK: the adults took the lead from Mum ( or I think she'd have given them hell ) and their kids were so wrapped up in themselves. The boys thought I was a freak and the girls swung between being super-friendly and teasing me. One of the boys has since come out as gay so I'm sure the parents blame me - if I did help him, I'm really pleased.

The school authorities acted like I had the plague or something and were terrified I'd spark off some sort of craze amongst the other kids so Mum struck a deal. The deal was I had to be a boy at school but I could be me at home. So I went through school in boy-drag - how about that?! :) I raised hell at the time but I knew it made for a quieter life as well - I didn't get bullied. I suppose the school was quite good about it and it was a happy place. Oh and we had a Mermaids club not far from home - they were awesome. When I start making some money I'll certainly give them a donation.
The university have been so good and made the whole thing into a non-event, which is just how it should be :heart:


2. You mean coming out really, because it's more a question of when did I have the courage to tell someone, though I suppose once I knew it was a 'thing' - you know, that I wasn't the only person like this and I found that from the internet. For a long time I felt guilty that I was being self-centred ( people had told me as much ) and I didn't want to let my family down, but you can't live with these thoughts or they'd drive you crazy. So it all came out in an argument at home - gah - I still blush about that - my poor Mum.
So yea, the internet helped but in those days the info said transexual, which is a word I hate. When I was young, the last thing I wanted to know about was sex anything - it was gross - and I had to fight past dodgy websites to find the right information. Transgender is a much better word in every way, because it's about gender not sex.

Hope that answers it. I always knew btw - it's who I am
 
Just as a word of encouragement to transmen out there: I am a straight woman very much in love and very sexually satisfied by a transguy. I often read about trans* who are worried about finding a long tem partner. I knew about my man before we met in person. Honestly I was mores concerned that he is an engineer and shorter than me. He is the best man I have ever been with. Be the right man and you will find the right partner whatever your orientation may be.
 
girl4use said:
Just as a word of encouragement to transmen out there: I am a straight woman very much in love and very sexually satisfied by a transguy. I often read about trans* who are worried about finding a long tem partner. I knew about my man before we met in person. Honestly I was mores concerned that he is an engineer and shorter than me. He is the best man I have ever been with. Be the right man and you will find the right partner whatever your orientation may be.
Click to expand...
tumblr_mcgz1rFwCy1qjym10o1_500.gif


Yeay! That's what we're talking about :)
 
What did you think about Canada allowing a change to the kid's birth certificate pre-op?
 
hi

I am a woman. I like sodomy most. my vag is always dry. some med prob there. what Do I count as?
 
EbonyTigress said:
One of my clients is a transwoman. I met her at the beginning of her transition. She has always used female pronouns and a female first name, as long as I have known her. As far as I have ever thought, she is a woman, though she was born biologically male. She just reads as "woman" to me.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, she was talking about persistent exhaustion, and one of my first thoughts was that maybe she is anemic. She does look awfully pale. Then I thought, "Maybe it's related to her cycle" and was about to ask if she has a particularly heavy period. (Not an out of the blue question in terms of level of details she shares with me.) Then I remembered that her body does not perform that particular function.

How would you react to that kind of "slipping" or forgetting. Offended? Pleased? Something else?
Click to expand...

I wouldn't be offended: it's hardly a comment that casts doubt on her integrity as a woman! Honest slips of the tongue or lapses of memory are just human nature and only persistent and intentional misuse of pronouns, names, gender is likely to cause offense. There is no rule regarding etiquette: some days we can all laugh off a social gaff but another day, the same comment might drive us to tears.


I'm over the fact that I won't carry my own children and that I will never have that level of function of a cis-gender woman. There are plenty of cis-gender women that can't have children either ( I know one ) and I know that they bury their hurt when questions of children come up.

I'll add a little to this later, thank you for your question but I gotta dash right now xx
 
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