A question of morals

[missmixalot]

A hyperthetical question.
If you are a submissive in a relationship with a Dom and you engage in some play with other men. Specifically, CMnf (Clothed Male naked female) where your Dom invites his male contacts over and you entertain (naked of course) and have gotten to know these men as friends.
Now if you split from your Dom and some of these men contact you to try and organise CMnf events (without your ex obv) would that be morally acceptabe.
Asking for a friend.

 

[missmixalot]

It would be cheating on your Dom if you’re monogamous.

It's an ex dom

 

[vibes]

It's an ex dom

I think in principle there is no obligation once the monogamous relationship has ended; but the fact you ask the question makes me think that you feel like dealing with someone met through your ex Dom somehow breaches that bond retroactively or would be such to offend him if word about your new dealings ever reached him (that kind of word does spread a lot).

So I ask: does it still matter to you if he feels offence? or what other perspective does bother you?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

A hyperthetical question.
If you are a submissive in a relationship with a Dom and you engage in some play with other men. Specifically, CMnf (Clothed Male naked female) where your Dom invites his male contacts over and you entertain (naked of course) and have gotten to know these men as friends.
Now if you split from your Dom and some of these men contact you to try and organise CMnf events (without your ex obv) would that be morally acceptabe.
Asking for a friend.

I personally would not feel comfortable with this since they were his contacts and friends initially. But, I can think of people who would be okay with this. I think it really depends on the people involved. Are you asking because you expect it would bother your ex?

 

[Scareltt]

If the relationship is over.

A hyperthetical question.
If you are a submissive in a relationship with a Dom and you engage in some play with other men. Specifically, CMnf (Clothed Male naked female) where your Dom invites his male contacts over and you entertain (naked of course) and have gotten to know these men as friends.
Now if you split from your Dom and some of these men contact you to try and organise CMnf events (without your ex obv) would that be morally acceptabe.
Asking for a friend.

I feel like it should be the mutual friends of the Doms responsibility. Depending on how the relationship ended I might send your Former Dom an FYI text, but it would probably be after.

Good play partners aren’t easy to find.

 

[missmixalot]

I think in principle there is no obligation once the monogamous relationship has ended; but the fact you ask the question makes me think that you feel like dealing with someone met through your ex Dom somehow breaches that bond retroactively or would be such to offend him if word about your new dealings ever reached him (that kind of word does spread a lot).

So I ask: does it still matter to you if he feels offence? or what other perspective does bother you?

I suppose it doesn't really matter to me if he takes offence and he is not that kind of person anyway. I suppose the sub in me is looking for instruction?

 

[Acktion]

Morality doesn't enter into it.

Ethics might be problematic.

1) The monogamous aspects are a non-starter as you clearly mention that you played with these people at His discretion during the relationship.

2) The relationship with Him ended, it is done and over. Both of you are free to search for happiness elsewhere. And neither of you has any room to complain about just whom the other is moving on with. Whichever ended it, it is done and you are done with each other.

HOWEVER...

3) Playing with them because you want to play with them and they want you is one thing. Playing with them to "get him back" or "get back at him" is doing a disservice to everyone involved.

***shrug***

I just don't see the issue if you are wanting to play with them and they are wanting to play with you and He... excuse me, I mean "he" is not anywhere in the decision making process.

 

[missmixalot]

I personally would not feel comfortable with this since they were his contacts and friends initially. But, I can think of people who would be okay with this. I think it really depends on the people involved. Are you asking because you expect it would bother your ex?

I suppose I am asking because of my submissive nature. A fear of offending or causing conflict?

 

[missmixalot]

I feel like it should be the mutual friends of the Doms responsibility. Depending on how the relationship ended I might send your Former Dom an FYI text, but it would probably be after.

Good play partners aren’t easy to find.

Very true about good play partners. I think as we are no longer in a relationship and it's play then there is no commitment in their eyes. I would text, probably

 

[vibes]

I suppose it doesn't really matter to me if he takes offence and he is not that kind of person anyway. I suppose the sub in me is looking for instruction?

As in ... you're looking for a new Dom?

 

[missmixalot]

As in ... you're looking for a new Dom?

No, just thoughts

 

[vibes]

What's the use of texting him after?

 

[missmixalot]

What's the use of texting him after?

SO he knows

 

[ToPleaseHim]

If you and he are no longer a couple, how close are you remaining? Are you friends and do you want to stay friends? In that case, probably don’t play with his friends. Are you comfortable being in a position in which your decisions lead to harming his friendships? Are his friends comfortable with that? This is not a decision that you will make in isolation and it’s up to you whether or not you want to go through with something like that. I would not.

 

[missmixalot]

If you and he are no longer a couple, how close are you remaining? Are you friends and do you want to stay friends? In that case, probably don’t play with his friends. Are you comfortable being in a position in which your decisions lead to harming his friendships? Are his friends comfortable with that? This is not a decision that you will make in isolation and it’s up to you whether or not you want to go through with something like that. I would not.

We parted amicably but haven't spoken much or seen each other. He is older than me and the lifestyle became too intense for him. I knew it deep down and things had cooled off so it came to a natural end.
I would like to have him as a friend if we only chat occasionally. If that can't happen I think I can move on. I will talk some more to his friends. We plan some CMnf events so it not at a directly sexual level.

 

[Bramblethorn]

A hyperthetical question.
If you are a submissive in a relationship with a Dom and you engage in some play with other men. Specifically, CMnf (Clothed Male naked female) where your Dom invites his male contacts over and you entertain (naked of course) and have gotten to know these men as friends.
Now if you split from your Dom and some of these men contact you to try and organise CMnf events (without your ex obv) would that be morally acceptabe.
Asking for a friend.

I don't see a moral problem with it, but whether it will create drama is a whole other question.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Please don't do this. It's really obnoxious when women can't ask a question on a forum without guys taking it as an invitation for a come-on. There's a Personals forum and a RP forum; please use those for their intended purpose instead of sending hot and horny messages to women who haven't invited it.

 

[gracie920101]

Please don't do this. It's really obnoxious when women can't ask a question on a forum without guys taking it as an invitation for a come-on. There's a Personals forum and a RP forum; please use those for their intended purpose instead of sending hot and horny messages to women who haven't invited it.

 

[cookiecat]

Double the hearts for the Bramblethorn PSA message.

Plus, dude! It's a 3 month old thread.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Your thread title invites reading to anyone that finds the thread in this section of the site. Or in the new posts tonight . By chance is there a conclusion to the advice given and the action taken that U are willing to share with those that have read the thread or might in the future ?

It could be helpful to someone , somewhere , at sometime in their life after all.

The views verses posts are 744 to 22 at my posting.

 

[Primalex]

.....

 

[lanceGibs]

A hyperthetical question.
If you are a submissive in a relationship with a Dom and you engage in some play with other men. Specifically, CMnf (Clothed Male naked female) where your Dom invites his male contacts over and you entertain (naked of course) and have gotten to know these men as friends.
Now if you split from your Dom and some of these men contact you to try and organise CMnf events (without your ex obv) would that be morally acceptabe.
Asking for a friend.

These men owe their existence to the dom
You need to forge a new relationship with them

 

[SlutAddicted]

What's the use of texting him after?

It is a way to let him know so he can be prepared if it might cause him any discomfort around the other guys while also making it clear that he has no say in the matter.

IMO she has no obligation to him and certainly doesn't need his permission. But she can still show him the courtesy of letting him know.

 

[lanceGibs]

A hyperthetical question.
If you are a submissive in a relationship with a Dom and you engage in some play with other men. Specifically, CMnf (Clothed Male naked female) where your Dom invites his male contacts over and you entertain (naked of course) and have gotten to know these men as friends.
Now if you split from your Dom and some of these men contact you to try and organise CMnf events (without your ex obv) would that be morally acceptabe.
Asking for a friend.

It's an adult decision taken when you are not in a relationship.

 

[IsItBad]

A hyperthetical question.
If you are a submissive in a relationship with a Dom and you engage in some play with other men. Specifically, CMnf (Clothed Male naked female) where your Dom invites his male contacts over and you entertain (naked of course) and have gotten to know these men as friends.
Now if you split from your Dom and some of these men contact you to try and organise CMnf events (without your ex obv) would that be morally acceptabe.
Asking for a friend.

id say perfectly acceptable. you are no longer subject to your dom. you are your own agent now. do what you will with who you will how you will. you now only have to satisfy your own moral code, whatever that may be.