A challenge for a dom (help with a story layot)

[Andreas_Kreuz]

I am currently collecting thoughts for a bdsm story I find tempting, but have trouble to visualize. I want to tell the journey of a mature woman into submission but it is initiated by a dominant man she met.
She knows that he is dominant, but does not know what it really entails. But he observes traits about her that make him believe she might be submissive. He does not want to force the topic by lecturing or directly suggesting typical bdsm acts (bondage/spanking etc). He rather wants to start dominating her in their everyday life by being extra assertive, controlling her in her everyday life and in bed.
General setup could be that they met on tinder, both enjoy the sex together, live near each other and spend weekends and spend time together. And the happy ending is, that it does work out.
Any ideas or suggestions on how he could go about that?
or is anone aware of a similar story?

 

[DaedalusX]

Obviously, there are many different types of Doms and subs. Reading your post, what immediately came to my mind (for whatever reason) was that the 'sub' character has never really explored her sexuality. She may have a successful career or has been attracted to "weak" men who never take charge/make decisions in the relationship. The point being she is always in control and exhausted from always being in charge.

She may meet this 'Dom' fellow and he is counter to her experiences, thus making her open/willing to explore that side of herself. If she has always been the one in control, I would imagine that she is extremely ready to not be in control. If he sees this, he may begin to find her limits, then slowly work to pressure them, expand them, and eventually cause her to realize that her limits are too limiting and expands them herself.

Day 1, starts out as a "take charge" kinda gal.
Day 30, is now wearing a remote control vibrator to work and proving it to him.
Day 90, happily/proudly wears his collar around the house as they play.

It's all about her character arc.

Anyhoo, I saw that no one had responded to this, so I hope this helps in some small way.

 

[babygirl4u1966]

This kind of happened to me. Don't know if this helps. But the Dom first was very sexy, big, hot, and talking sexy (Barry White type voice) and firm, he seduced me. Made me crave him. Then he would call me, giving me time limits (like be here in 60 minutes or else), telling me how he wanted me dressed. I just felt compelled to meet his demands and I was terrified of disappointing him. Then the demands got more and more difficult to meet, causing me to focus on him constantly.

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

@babygirl4u1966 I would love to know how that continued? Did you become aware of the power exchange? Did you enjoy it? Did you at some stage understand and accept that you are submissive and embraced it? Or did you resist being controlled or challenged and decided to leave?

 

[babygirl4u1966]

I hated Master for assuming that I would just jump and do his bidding, and yet everytime he called and gave me a time constraint to do something, it was like a challenge I had to succeed at, and I couldn't handle the thought of disappointing him. Afterwords I hated myself for being so easily manipulated. After awhile I gave in realizing that I couldn't stop myself. I'm not sure that I'm submissive, but rather I realized I have a real need to make people happy and to meet their demands. Something like that

 

[IrisAlthea]

Did you become aware of the power exchange? Did you enjoy it? Did you at some stage understand and accept that you are submissive and embraced it?

It sounds like you are putting time, thought and effort into this story, rather then just writing a quicky, so I would suggest not going with her having gotten it wrong all along and finding out that she really is a submissive.
I would much rather read a story about why she reacts like this with him.
Is it because she feels he is emotionally stable enough for her to let all of it out with him, is it because he is confident and competent enough for her to let go of the control in certain situations, that he seems to be willing and able to shoulder the responsibility and work that comes with control or is it that hint of teeth and menace under the surface, that is exiting but still balanced with stability enough to still feel reasonably safe?

Fair warning that the last suggestion might catch a lot of flack and it can absolutely be toxic and abusive, especially in a situation like what you are after here where there are no established rules or understandig beforehand.
Personally though, I know that this kind of dynamic can develop more organically than is usually proposed, perhaps especially with someone who is confident and strong enough to set their limits without the structured talk and able to keep their boundaries without blowing up or running for the hills.
Also, I don’t want my stories to read like a how to on safely engaging in structured BDSM.

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

Let me thank you @IrisAlthea and @babygirl4u1966 for putting thougt into my idea. I am currently at 11000 words for part 1. One more scene to do. Thank you for adding to my motivation.
I have read @babygirl4u1966 story. I enjoyed it, but I want to make my story more gradual.
@IrisAlthea, I really love your suggestion. It allows to add emotional connection between the characters.
I think it could be complementing. He can go ahead, because he feels she is emotionally stable enough to let go but still be aware ofvthe burden to protect her limits and to join in consciously.

Thank you for pointing out that establing control requires work and responsibility.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I think it could be complementing. He can go ahead, because he feels she is emotionally stable enough to let go but still be aware ofvthe burden to protect her limits and to join in consciously.

Yes.
It is an exchange.

And I don’t think this is as specific to BDSM as we’d like to think.
Whenever someone is taking a first step, taking the initiative, you can even see it in the language used - they are making an advance.
To do that you need to overstep normal boundaries and the other person needs to let you in. One becomes the aggressor and the other yields.
I (over)think that that may be the reason why those situations when a relationship changes can be so tricky and uncomfortable.

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

Yes of course, the fear of rejection. And while I firmly believe that "only yes means yes", verbalising it can sometimes be a mood killer.

If you take @babygirl4u1966 story, the man Jerome pushes his hands into her pussy in a public place even though she rejects. He then fucks her. If she would have spoken up, he should have been going to jail for rape. (At least here in Germany)

With BDSM it is extra tricky, because it involves pain and humiliation.

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

So the next challenge I grapple with (for part 2) How do I bring up punishment? In what kind of scenario could it be believable that a grown woman accepts to get punished, e. g. by spanking, by standing in the corner etc?

 

[babygirl4u1966]

So the next challenge I grapple with (for part 2) How do I bring up punishment? In what kind of scenario could it be believable that a grown woman accepts to get punished, e. g. by spanking, by standing in the corner etc?

I can only speak for myself. The first time, Master forced me, by grabbing me by the hair, putting me over his knee and spanking me till I orgasmed. Then he made sure for me to understand that I enjoyed and craved that punishment. Then the next time he punished me, I reluctantly bent over his knee. Each time it got easier and easier. However the worst punishment he's threatened me with, is that if I don't meet his needs fully, he will release me and not see me ever again. That's the worst punishment for me. I'd die if he rejected me. So I'm completely focused on meeting his needs and making sure I never ever disappoint him. I'm given time limits and expectations for everything. This time limits are always short and the expectations high, and forces me to again be completely focused.

Don't know if that helps

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

Why did you not walk out on him? How could he be sure, you would accept it?

 

[babygirl4u1966]

Why did you not walk out on him? How could he be sure, you would accept it?

I can't explain. In the beginning he was blackmailing me as he had videos/pictures and hubby didn't know. But when I think back, I was so totally aroused and craved Master Jerome I probably would have reluctantly met him anyway. Also something about the challenges he kept giving me, with no notice, didn't give me any time to think, but just react. I think because he's in the Marines he knows how to get people to jump when he barks.
Maybe a good way to think of it, is how these Nigerian guys email/chat with American women and get them to send their life savings to them. When you're in love and incredibly aroused, you don't really think very well.

 

[IrisAlthea]

So the next challenge I grapple with (for part 2) How do I bring up punishment? In what kind of scenario could it be believable that a grown woman accepts to get punished, e. g. by spanking, by standing in the corner etc?

I’m mostly in the funishment camp.
I’ve expanded on why before and others have shared their thoughts:
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/glutton-for-punishment.1543331/

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/discipline-and-punishment.1570383/#post-95731525

I could possibly see creating a clean slate, like @cookiecat and @Primalex talk about in the thread below, work for me, but that would not be at the beginning of a relationship and certainly not without communication.
https://forum.literotica.com/threads/punishment-as-issue-closure.1536388/#post-93189569

I would say that playing around and having fun with it can be a way to realize that some things can be really hot.