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Newbie Sub Needs Guidance Please.

tenchikoi

tenchikoi

Really Experienced
Joined
Jan 15, 2008
Posts
346
Hello everyone....

I'm new to this scene and a submissive by nature. I wanted to ask how I would safely go about seeking a dominant man to train me in the submissive lifestyle?

I admit I'm frightened of meeting some nut case and becoming a story on the evening news.

I could use the wisdom of those in the know please. :)
 
Give CutieMouse a few minutes, and she'll link you to a post from Evil_Geoff that gives some great suggestions for folks new to the scene. (I think she has that response post as a macro, lol!) Just as a quickie ref, though, see if you can find copies of Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, or Jay Wiseman's SM101, The Bottoming Handbook, or The Topping Handbook (it's good to know about things from both sides ;) )

Also, google your general locale (however far you think it would be practicable and reasonable to drive) for BDSM groups, munches, etc., and check out their schedules.
 
Sir_Winston54 said:
Give CutieMouse a few minutes, and she'll link you to a post from Evil_Geoff that gives some great suggestions for folks new to the scene. (I think she has that response post as a macro, lol!) Just as a quickie ref, though, see if you can find copies of Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, or Jay Wiseman's SM101, The Bottoming Handbook, or The Topping Handbook (it's good to know about things from both sides ;) )

Also, google your general locale (however far you think it would be practicable and reasonable to drive) for BDSM groups, munches, etc., and check out their schedules.
Click to expand...

Thank you, Sir....

This is very useful information. I foresee book shopping in my immediate future.
 
Evil_Geoff's generic "how to find a local organization" post - linky-poo

Educate yourself.
Learn the difference between some Horny Net Geek demanding your submission, and a Dominant who is genuinely interested in you.
Sort out what you are and aren't interested in, as best you can (the BDSM Library pinned at the top of the forum has a section on checklists that might be helpful).
Ask questions.
Treat others as respectfully as you expect to be treated.
Relationships are relationships are relationships - even kinky ones.
Don't worry about capitalization/Sir[ing] and M'am[ing] people to death around here. We're pretty informal.
Shorthand - PYL = Pick Your Label [Dom/Domme/Top] and pyl = [sub/slave/bottom]


Oh and there's a huge list of decent/good BDSM books on my blog -see signature. They're linked to Greenery Press, but you can also find them [used] on amazon.com.

:)
 
Last edited:
CutieMouse said:
Evil_Geoff's generic "how to find a local organization" post - linky-poo

Educate yourself.
Learn the difference between some Horny Net Geek demanding your submission, and a Dominant who is genuinely interested in you.
Sort out what you are and aren't interested in, as best you can (the BDSM Library pinned at the top of the forum has a section on checklists that might be helpful).
Ask questions.
Treat others as respectfully as you expect to be treated.
Relationships are relationships are relationships - even kinky ones.
Don't worry about capitalization/Sir[ing] and M'am[ing] people to death around here. We're pretty informal.
Shorthand - PYL = Pick Your Label [Dom/Domme/Top] and pyl = [sub/slave/bottom]


Oh and there's a huge list of decent/good BDSM books on my blog -see signature. They're linked to Greenery Press, but you can also find them [used] on amazon.com.

:)
Click to expand...

Thank you Cutie,

I'm heading over to your blog now.
 
Is Evil_Goeff's post able to be made an announcement so we have a topic to link to instead of one post? With how useful it is and how often it's referenced, it seems like something that should be framed on the front page.
 
Kikori said:
Is Evil_Goeff's post able to be made an announcement so we have a topic to link to instead of one post? With how useful it is and how often it's referenced, it seems like something that should be framed on the front page.
Click to expand...

Oh I just knew what search parameter to hit - EG's been swinging by linking "how to find a munch" sorts of information for years now, but he's not as active at Lit as he used to be so I took the liberty of linking his latest re-post of the information.

[Personal Opinion] Given how rarely anyone bothers to read the BDSM Library sticky at the top of the forum, or the Welcome to the BDSM Forum sticky, the information is almost more likely to be read if it's popped into threads whenever the subject comes up.

:)
 
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