Discussion Thread: Writers' Issues: Tension, Surprise

Using the story and example shown: How does the writer create tension and surprise? How does he or she sustain that tension?

What are some possible variant strategies, besides the one shown? Give some examples from your own or others' writing.

It's almost a cliche that a story requires tension or conflict; underlying that, I believe is the 'surprise' issue. Something surprising has to happen; to put it differently, the reader has to become curious about something--What will she [character] do; What will he say? etc.

This story element or characteristic tends to be absent in much posted Lit. material.

I have chosen the segment, below, from our Dr. Mabeuse's, Keeper of the Streets, about half way through. The man who saved Lia early on, tells about himself. The story thread is from a couple months ago. I am not so much concerned with the scene as such, but its role in the continuing 'arc' of tension in the story.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=316475


“Listen to me Lia,” he said deliberately. “You are a sane and intelligent woman and you live in a sane and intelligent world, but things are not what you imagine. I’ll tell you this once, because I’ve learned through experience that once is either enough or it’s entirely too much, so take it as you will.

“This city is alive. Literally. It’s a living organism. It has thoughts and feelings, it has a metabolism, it grows and it changes, and it is aware. That’s the most important thing: that it’s aware. It’s aware of everything, and things go on here in the streets that most people can’t even imagine. The people who live here are like little cells in a body, each with his or her special purpose, and none of them know it. There are only a few of us who know, and I’m one of them.” [Keeper of the Streets, Part 2]

Lia stole a glance at him, afraid to look at him directly. They were passing under streetlights now and squares of light were passing over his face as he spoke. His eyes were calm and he looked entirely reasonable, and his quiet rationality only seemed to make her rising panic all the worse.

“Some of us homeless people – not all of us, but some – are like the white blood cells in the city. We hunt through the streets and alleys looking for sickness and signs of infection. We know the signs and we do what we can. We keep our finger on the city’s pulse and know when it’s healthy and when it’s sick. We know all sorts of things. It’s our life. It’s what we do.”

“What did you do just now. How did you do that?”

He sat back with a sigh, unsure of whether she had heard anything he’d just said.

“I told you. I can be whatever I want. I’m not what you would exactly call human, Lia. I’m one of the guards, the keepers of the streets.”

Lia had to look at him. She couldn’t help it. She was terrified he was going to turn into something else and she didn’t want to be caught be surprise.

“Where do you come from? Where do you live? What do you want with me?”

“I don’t know where I come from. I’ve just always been like this. I think we just grow. Wherever there’s a vacant lot, an old alley, an abandoned factory, we just seem to sprout up. As to where I live, I live all over. It doesn’t matter. I might have a penthouse apartment, or I can live in a box under the expressway. I go where I’m needed.”
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How does this scene resolve tension? In the whole story, how does the scene maintain tension.

I think think this example is rather sophisticated in that there is a kind of step-by-step or continuing surprise. IOW, the revelation above could have been a 'show stopper,' a place where the readers says, "OH, that explains everything." But it is not; it's a step along the way.

How has the good dr managed to use the revelation to set the stage for later action and surprise? Does he succeed?

{Added: below I have raised the related porn-erotica question as regards the tension issue.}

As far as tension goes in Lit stories, the kind of tension I'm always playing with is reluctant sex: the tension of seduction.

Someone once said that the climax of a porn story for a man is the actual physical climax, but for a woman it's the moment where the female character consents to have sex. I think that's pretty true, and it's the female dramatic climax that interests me. If there isn't some resistance by the woman (or the man in some cases), I find the story flat and uninteresting. That's why I find Loving Couples stories to be so terribly dull. The more erotic tension there is, the hotter the story is. That's why I like BDSM and reluctance: tension from start to finish.

The kind of tension I'd really like to be able to do is the pure erotic kind - the kind where your eyes lock with some stranger's and you feel the zing. It's a staple of a lot of stories, but i don't know if I've ever seen it done right. There's something inexpressable that happens at that moment, something beyond words or analysis.

Anyhow, I'm flattered that you chose this example, whether for its goodness or badness. It's not the one I would have chosen, but I'm flattered just the same.

Such humility (topic: tension in porn/erotica)

in the dr is yet another of his writerly virtues.

But he does raise the BIG question for porn/erotica. Given: The secretary is going to fuck the boss; the girl is going to 'have' daddy, and the two strangers on the subways are going to do it right there-- how in hell can a 'story'--narrative with tension-- be created?

When the doc talks of 'reluctance' as his preferred source of tension, what are the alternatives when that's apparently unavailable (In the last case, how reluctant can two strangers be, if they're going to fuck within fifteen minutes of contact?).

From an example of the doc, one sees (what he considers) a 'worst case': for hubby's arousal, wifey is going to fuck three of their friends and five strangers. But we can still inquire, is it doable or just hack porn fantasy?

Not answering anything in particular:

Tension as in suspense - I tend to avoid because I can’t do it without sounding cliché or the characters seemingly believable in their reaction. Eg. A: [in darth vadar voice: The world is going to end at 0700. B: what the fuck?

I guess the one thing I have picked up is using shorter sentences to seemingly pick up the pace of the story toward the climax of the surprise.

Revelatory scenes - hate em. Stories seem to either make it or fall here. Not only am I worrying about character consistency and believability that the character would act that way, but also that the reader could believe that the character could act that way. This is one of my weaknesses, and where my story lines tend to go vague.

Zoot: As far as tension goes in Lit stories, the kind of tension I'm always playing with is reluctant sex: the tension of seduction…. If there isn't some resistance by the woman (or the man in some cases), I find the story flat and uninteresting. That's why I find Loving Couples stories to be so terribly dull. The more erotic tension there is, the hotter the story is. That's why I like BDSM and reluctance: tension from start to finish.

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I think it is tension, but also that conflict thing. With EC and LW, it seems to me that you know where you are going to end up, without much in the way of conflict, surprise or suspense. With non-consent and bdsm, of course you know where it is going to end up too [this is an erotica site ], but it is the path to the end that is what makes it interesting, and there seems to be a lot more room for unpredictability and tension.

Hi wish,

just a simple question


{WT:}With EC and LW, it seems to me that you know where you are going to end up, without much in the way of conflict, surprise or suspense.

With non-consent and bdsm, of course you know where it is going to end up too [this is an erotica site ], but it is the path to the end that is what makes it interesting, and there seems to be a lot more room for unpredictability and tension.

------

What exactly is the dificulty as you see it, in EC or LW. Couple getting together is a staple of literature for hundreds of years: they have various obstacles, etc.

I just had a look at a loving wives, and the plot is that the wife is bet or 'forced' to have sex with someone, in front of hubby, and he gets off on it. Why can't the manner of being 'forced' and the feeling around it furnish tension?

On the other side, a 'nonconsent' fantasy, of the type beloved at lit, is showing an attractive lady beset by a nasty fellow with a giant cock; she will resist, futilely, but end up enjoying it. So the resistance--one might say-- is expected and its futility is assumed. Why is this MORE likely to generate tension, or why is this a situation in which it's easier to include tension? The "path" is sometimes initial deception, then physical force; often striking with hand of buttocks or breasts; binding; it hardly seems that 'path' can generate tension.

It's no secret that most of my stories, maybe all of them, are lacking in tension or conflict, which is another way of saying the same thing. This is not a problem because my goal is just to write stroke stories. If people get wet or hard, depending on gender, while reading them, I have done what I wanted to do.

I don't rightly know how you can get much tension in a stroke story. I could probably write about a sexual assault, and describe how the man rips off her clothes and she fights back, kicking and scratching, but there's nothing sexy about that to me. I don't even like to read stories like that, let alone write them.

What I like to read or write is about people enjoying themselves sexually. It might involve spanking or tying up or anal or incest or other categories but it's all E/C. I did actually write one story, "Stephanie's Eighteenth Birthday", where there was some tension in the start. The man demanded his 18 year old stepdaughter either give in to his sexual demands or he would kick her out on the street. I started to make him a mean bastard but I just couldn't keep it up and, in the end, they were both really enjoying themselves and she was looking forward to a long and happy relationship.

Some of my stories involve role-playing where there is some pretended conflict but I make it clear in all of them that it is strictly pretended. Maybe I'm some sort of Pollyanna who just likes to write about fun sex between happy people. So, sue me.

Hi Box,

You said,

It's no secret that most of my stories, maybe all of them, are lacking in tension or conflict, which is another way of saying the same thing. This is not a problem because my goal is just to write stroke stories. If people get wet or hard, depending on gender, while reading them, I have done what I wanted to do.

That's sort of like the 'photographer' whose only goal is, with the help of a friend who owns a tanning salon, to get good beaver shots to sell to a 'candid XXX' website at 10 cents each.

I don't rightly know how you can get much tension in a stroke story.
What I like to read or write is about people enjoying themselves sexually.

Are you sure you're writing about people?

Maybe I'm some sort of Pollyanna who just likes to write about fun sex between happy people. So, sue me.

'So don't publish me' is a better way to put it. No problem, literotica is a broad forum for all kinds of persons putting words on paper. Ephemeral porn is a forgiving genre, since, besides tension, character and plot may also be omitted.

As the saying goes, "For every pot, there is a lid." You have your technique and your audience, so all is well in Boxdom.

Cheers,

J.

Pure said:

Hi Box,

You said,

It's no secret that most of my stories, maybe all of them, are lacking in tension or conflict, which is another way of saying the same thing. This is not a problem because my goal is just to write stroke stories. If people get wet or hard, depending on gender, while reading them, I have done what I wanted to do.

That's sort of like the 'photographer' whose only goal is, with the help of a friend who owns a tanning salon, to get good beaver shots to sell to a 'candid XXX' website at 10 cents each.

Actually, I don't even get ten cents for a story. If I were a more serious writer, and really trying to write professionally, I might try to meet some kinds of standards but, even with the two Cindy Lou stories where I tried to be more "literary" they did not go over as well as most of the strictly smut that I had been doing. Future stories about her escapades will be strictly stroke.

I don't rightly know how you can get much tension in a stroke story.
What I like to read or write is about people enjoying themselves sexually.

Are you sure you're writing about people?

Sometimes I am. The celebrity stories are about real people although strictly fiction and unrealistic. A lot of my stories are about specific readers and they really enjoy them. The women I write about send me their descriptions, sometimes pics., and what they like to do or fantasies they have, etc. and I write stories based on that. The stories are basicly stroke but they tend to be well-received.

Maybe I'm some sort of Pollyanna who just likes to write about fun sex between happy people. So, sue me.

'So don't publish me' is a better way to put it. No problem, literotica is a broad forum for all kinds of persons putting words on paper. Ephemeral porn is a forgiving genre, since, besides tension, character and plot may also be omitted.

Most of my stories have no tension or conflict or plot at all and virtually no characterization. I compare them to porno film loops except that I have some dialogue and, sometimes, a little bit of story. I don't actually expect anything of mine to ever get published, except maybe by accident.

As the saying goes, "For every pot, there is a lid." You have your technique and your audience, so all is well in Boxdom.

Cheers,

J.

Click to expand...

Cheers to you as well.

Today's question

Looking at the doc's latest fine confection*, how has he handled or included tension? How is surprise set up? Is it convincing (after the fact)?


*A Game of Chance, see other thread.

greetings
I've been away.

Is tension always needed? If so why?

Some romantic stories don't have any tension at all. The parties are loving and gentle with each other. That appeals to me. The author may create tension by setting hurdles for the lovers to overcome. That happens in real life. Thats why I think many of the romance stories are so popular: the charectors are real. (Mind you the only story I have so far posted was criticised because Dr M and others said that my plot was not consistent with the way I set up my charectors).

Pure said:

snip.... it hardly seems that 'path' can generate tension.

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Trying to think up variations I can't except too say a rape stgory turned consent, a wooman saved isw loved via pity acts - or as repayment she ..

you get the idea. it's been done before, or to death.

crap....

jimhawkins said:

greetings
I've been away.

Is tension always needed? If so why?

Some romantic stories don't have any tension at all. The parties are loving and gentle with each other. That appeals to me. The author may create tension by setting hurdles for the lovers to overcome. That happens in real life. Thats why I think many of the romance stories are so popular: the charectors are real. (Mind you the only story I have so far posted was criticised because Dr M and others said that my plot was not consistent with the way I set up my charectors).

Click to expand...

For me any story needs tension, both erotic and non. Some ways I've set up tension in my stories- making one character compete and win out against rivals to get the attention of the lust object; or one character admitting to wanting a particular act; or simply idling away the time until they have a chance to consummate their lust or love. I've read romantic stories were the partners are loving and gentle with each other- and there had better be something else going on in the story, or I am bored to tears. A loving gentle sex scene makes a marvellous "oasis of calm" in the midst of some other situation, however.
And there doesn't have to be a world war in the plot, either- sometimes, the mere question of who doggy-style versus missionary is enough of a plot twist!

Stella Omega said:

For me any story needs tension, both erotic and non. ... I've read romantic stories were the partners are loving and gentle with each other- and there had better be something else going on in the story, or I am bored to tears. A loving gentle sex scene makes a marvelous "oasis of calm" in the midst of some other situation, however.

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I'm with you, Stella! For me, any tale without conflict, and the resulting tension, is boring. Of course, the tension doesn't matter either unless there is some character with whom I'm inclined to bond. If I don't believe and care about the characters first, I don't care if they eat, sleep, live, die, or fuck. This is why porn films, at least every one I've ever seen, do nothing for me. The same goes for stories that emulate the plots of porn films.

I don't know about anyone else, but I think of tension as something a character experiences whereas suspense is something the reader feels. Maybe that's just me, but when I refer to tension and suspense below, that's what I mean.

My favorite type of tension is internal, when a character experiences a dilemma without an easy or obvious resolution. Ideally, at least in an erotic story, the dilemma will involve sex. Of course, for me to experience the tension as well, I need to be able to identify with this character. Suspense is not necessary for me to enjoy a story. I can empathize with a character's plight even when I know she has nothing to worry about.

Jim said:

Is tension always needed? If so why?
Some romantic stories don't have any tension at all. The parties are loving and gentle with each other. That appeals to me. That happens in real life. That's why I think many of the romance stories are so popular: the characters are real. (Mind you the only story I have so far posted was criticised because Dr M and others said that my plot was not consistent with the way I set up my characters)

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Regarding the story to which Jim is referring, he is correct, I didn't believe the characters in question would have gotten together as quickly as they did. Is it not then something of an irony that a reason I didn't believe this couple would get together was because of the tension they were both experiencing? They had problems their children, their spouses, the travel- oh, and wasn't there religion involved too? These two had so many things on their minds I just didn't see sex as a high priority for either of them that evening.

Pure said:

Looking at the doc's latest fine confection, A Game of Chance, how has he handled or included tension? How is surprise set up? Is it convincing (after the fact)?

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I believe Dr. M's story A Game of Chance sacrificed tension, and suspense too, in favor of a surprise ending. As written, the suspense for me involved who would get the money, plus I didn't trust the narrator, which added anxiety of a different sort. I confess I didn't foresee a death, though that outcome is absolutely believable. I'm not saying this was a poor choice, not at all, but how might the reading experience have been different had the reader known from the beginning what the central character's motives were? Understanding the woman is in mortal danger would ruin the surprise, but it might make for a more thrilling read. Also, we could experience the tension within the narrator as to whether he will go through with his assignment. Of course, if he still does, it's an even darker story, no?

Pure said:

Couples getting together is a staple of literature ... they have various obstacles, etc.

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Absolutely! A couple coming together to overcome an obstacle is another theme I adore.

Take Care,
Penny

It seems to me that there are basically two reasons why we keep reading, in erotica, at least.

(1) The story. We want to know what happens. This is where tension and suspense come in.

(2) The descriptions. Porn is unique in that human beings are so fascinated and captivated by sex that we're willing to read plain old descriptions of the act. That's why porn is basically so easy to write and why so many people try their hands at it.

"Loving Sex" stories in which there's no conflict basically get by on #2 alone. There might be some implied tension--will she enjoy anal sex, will they both orgasm together, that kind of thing--but basically they're ideailzed presentations of ideal sex, and we're relying on the author to paint a vivid, arousing scene. Unless the author's unusually skilled at description, I find most Loving Sex stories to be pretty boring. If I just want to see two people going at it, I'll go look at pictures.

The tension I usually deal with in my stories involves what the sex does to the people engaged in it. I believe that every story is a story of someone's transformation--they're not the same person at the end as they were at the beginning. I've done a number of stories in which there was no more tension that that: the transforation of someone's character through a sexualk encounter.

Still, that's tension, and it's enough to drive the story and (I hope) keep people reading.

But the stories that involve some sort of perfect, idealized sex, I tend to leave those alone. They just don't keep my interest.

dr_mabeuse said:

It seems to me that there are basically two reasons why we keep reading, in erotica, at least.

(1) The story. We want to know what happens. This is where tension and suspense come in.

(2) The descriptions. Porn is unique in that human beings are so fascinated and captivated by sex that we're willing to read plain old descriptions of the act. That's why porn is basically so easy to write and why so many people try their hands at it.

"Loving Sex" stories in which there's no conflict basically get by on #2 alone. There might be some implied tension--will she enjoy anal sex, will they both orgasm together, that kind of thing--but basically they're idealized presentations of ideal sex, and we're relying on the author to paint a vivid, arousing scene. Unless the author's unusually skilled at description, I find most Loving Sex stories to be pretty boring. If I just want to see two people going at it, I'll go look at pictures.

The tension I usually deal with in my stories involves what the sex does to the people engaged in it. I believe that every story is a story of someone's transformation--they're not the same person at the end as they were at the beginning. I've done a number of stories in which there was no more tension that that: the transformation of someone's character through a sexual encounter.

Still, that's tension, and it's enough to drive the story and (I hope) keep people reading.

But the stories that involve some sort of perfect, idealized sex, I tend to leave those alone. They just don't keep my interest.

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I am in complete agreement. The only time in my life I might have been inclined to read 'plain old descriptions of the act' was before I had experienced said act. To me, these accounts are just scenes, not true stories, and I've yet to read any such description and have it stir me to anything beyond a yawn.

Yet at least a couple of writers expressed in this thread a fondness for such simple scenes. I'd be interested to understand why they, and others, find 'plain old descriptions of the act' appealing in the absence the tension. I'm not in any way trying to criticize those who enjoy reading and writing such scenes. I but wish to understand their appeal.

Take Care,
Penny

Penelope Street said:

I am in complete agreement. The only time in my life I might have been inclined to read 'plain old descriptions of the act' was before I had experienced said act. To me, these accounts are just scenes, not true stories, and I've yet to read any such description and have it stir me to anything beyond a yawn.

Yet at least a couple of writers expressed in this thread a fondness for such simple scenes. I'd be interested to understand why they, and others, find 'plain old descriptions of the act' appealing in the absence the tension. I'm not in any way trying to criticize those who enjoy reading and writing such scenes. I but wish to understand their appeal.

Take Care,
Penny

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Hi, Penny.
I am one of those writers who like to write “plain old descriptions of the act” but I don’t consider them to be all that simple. That is, they’re not just “Yadda-yadda-yadda-suck-fuck-eat”. I try to use good mechanics and to choose my words carefully. If it comes out the way I want it to, the story will be so graphic that people can read it and see in their minds what is happening, and put themselves in the place of Cindy Lou or George Boxlicker or David or some other character. From PC and emails I receive from readers, I am having some success although I would like to have more.

Some of my stories do have a certain amount of tension, such as the two stories of Zuzie and Stephanie’s Eighteenth Birthday. Also, I believe there is some tension in stories in the Loving Wives category, where the wife has a nasty husband and she and her lover are getting away with something. Otherwise, I don’t see how you can have much tension in a story of some people having mutually enjoyable sex.

A simple question

Given the general absence of surprise or tension in many Lit stories, will people give some examples, besides their own stuff, of some stories that do have it? esp. stories with high-sex low-romance content (i.e., not your standard romance with lotsa sex--how i [Y] got it on with X and we[Y and X] fell in love after 10 hours in the sack and are still together to this day.)

By the way, I also exclude the simple 'surprise' ending UNLESS it's (with hindsight) quite well prepared for, perhaps subtly indicated, and ultimately makes some kind of sense) I.e., I exclude: "And then she shot him." where it's pretty much out of the blue.

Boxlicker said:

Hi, Penny.
I am one of those writers who like to write "plain old descriptions of the act" but I don't consider them to be all that simple.

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Hi Box!

You were naturally one of the authors I thought of when Dr. M mentioned "Loving Sex" stories. By 'simple' I meant stories following the pattern of a cursory introduction followed by a sex scene. It wasn't meant as a slam or dig; simple and plain are near synonyms, after all. Regardless of what label we apply to this type of story, I still do not understand their allure.

Consider an ordinary real-world scenario: A handsome husband comes home from work and his gorgeous wife greets him at the door with a kiss. As they part, each turns to look at the dinner on the table, then they look back to one another. The husband says something romantic and clever, and they go have mutually enjoyable sex instead of supper.

Sure, it's gentle and sweet and all that, but no matter how well written, can this scene be anything but a yawner? I'm pretty sure I'll never actually enjoy stories like this, but I would like to understand why others do.

Boxlicker said:

... I believe there is some tension in stories in the Loving Wives category, where the wife has a nasty husband and she and her lover are getting away with something. Otherwise, I don't see how you can have much tension in a story of some people having mutually enjoyable sex.

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Infidelity and taboos are common sources of sexual tension, but the conflict doesn't have to be part of the sex itself. I still believe Stella hit the proverbial nail on the head with her "oasis of calm" analogy regarding how a gentle scene can be set amid turmoil. For instance, what if Juliet wakes up before Romeo takes the poison?

Take Care,
Penny

tension stories:
* some by Starlight (who seems to have left this site) e g A Christmas Play- theres very little sex but its the conflict between the honest and not very well off (and perhaps not very clever) hero, his ex wife over his daughter and the problems the heroine has that makes the story one of my favourites and Her Face- again almost no sex but the story of the scarred woman is one that maintains tension- will she overcome her disability)

* some of the better Loving wives stories- particuarly those that try to tell what happens after the adultery.

Penelope Street said:

Hi Box!

You were naturally one of the authors I thought of when Dr. M mentioned "Loving Sex" stories. By 'simple' I meant stories following the pattern of a cursory introduction followed by a sex scene. It wasn't meant as a slam or dig; simple and plain are near synonyms, after all. Regardless of what label we apply to this type of story, I still do not understand their allure.

Consider an ordinary real-world scenario: A handsome husband comes home from work and his gorgeous wife greets him at the door with a kiss. As they part, each turns to look at the dinner on the table, then they look back to one another. The husband says something romantic and clever, and they go have mutually enjoyable sex instead of supper.

Sure, it's gentle and sweet and all that, but no matter how well written, can this scene be anything but a yawner? I'm pretty sure I'll never actually enjoy stories like this, but I would like to understand why others do.


Infidelity and taboos are common sources of sexual tension, but the conflict doesn't have to be part of the sex itself. I still believe Stella hit the proverbial nail on the head with her "oasis of calm" analogy regarding how a gentle scene can be set amid turmoil. For instance, what if Juliet wakes up before Romeo takes the poison?

Take Care,
Penny

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Hi, Penny. I don't take things personally when I know they are not meant to be personal. When I say my stories are "not that simple" I mean they have a lot of detail, even though there isn't much plot or characterization or tension or anything else except the details of the sexual activity. I do describe the reasons why the people in the story are together and are doing the things they are doing.

I think we can all agree that porn is very popular. There is this site and thousands more and videotape rentals and porno movies etc. Most of these are movies, of course. When I watch a porn movie, I imagine myself on the screen doing the things with the women that the man on the screen is doing. I would expect that, with most men, it is something like that. I don't know what is the thrill for women, unless it is the same kind of thing.

I try to write with so much detail and so graphically that people reading can "see" what is happening and can imagine themselves in the story. I sometimes compare my stories to porno film loops but I like to think they are more realistic than the films. I describe foreplay and using lubricants and slowly squeezing a cock into an ass or a pussy, in a way that I think is how it really is. Everything is fiction, of course, but I like to think that what I describe people doing is what people actually do.

Boxlicker said:

When I watch a porn movie, I imagine myself on the screen doing the things with the women that the man on the screen is doing. I would expect that, with most men, it is something like that.

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So, that's it? You enjoy straight sex scenes because you can imagine yourself in the role of the male in said scene? Just like that? Lucky you. Maybe I should be jealous, because I need so much more before I become involved. To me, movies like Ghost and Thelma and Louise are far more stirring than any porn film.

A heavy-sex story with tension:

Pure said:

Given the general absence of surprise or tension in many Lit stories, will people give some examples, ... of some stories that do have it? esp. stories with high-sex low-romance content.

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Consider please Carson's Spark:
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=170308

Please note: Possible spoilers in the next post if you intend to read the story.

If one considers the start to be the kiss, the erotic scene in Spark lasts over three-quarters of the story. For me, Spark captures the abject helplessness that too often accompanies love. Or lust. Take your pick. Regardless, it's hardly romantic.

The tension in the story stems from simple infidelity- the narrator is cheating on his long-time partner. The cheaters have agreed it's a one-time meeting, but it's clear early on that the narrator wants more. The suspense I experienced involved whether the affair would begin and end with this one encounter. I didn't find the story arousing in an erotic way, but I did feel for the characters, especially the victim of the liaison, whom we never meet; yet I also felt for the narrator, who is tragically sympathetic in spite of his iniquity.

I believe this story is a fine example of how the sex scene can be the story: Regardless of his decision, the narrator will be changed by this encounter.

Take Care,
Penny

Penelope Street said:

So, that's it? You enjoy straight sex scenes because you can imagine yourself in the role of the male in said scene? Just like that? Lucky you. Maybe I should be jealous, because I need so much more before I become involved. To me, movies like Ghost and Thelma and Louise are far more stirring than any porn film.

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Not just any scene. It has to be a scene where I would be doing the same thing the man is doing. That is, no violence or bondage or force, just gentle, affectionate, considerate sex. Making love, I usually say in my stories but in a friendly way, not a romantic way. I can also identify with the protag. in westerns or action-adventures or most sports movies. As far as I can see, this is the effect the director is aiming for. In almost all my stories, I can easily identify with the main male character, even though they are all strictly fiction, damn it.

Been gone from this board for a while, but I think in reguard to tension, you can't have tension without characters. Not just OK, a blonde and a redhead walk into a bar, I mean an actual characters.

My suspicious is that the tension filled stories, if we were to tie up the writer (hmmm this has potential) and force them to tell us more about the characters, they could. To have tension, the chacters have to take on more than is ever said in the story. Well it is said, but never directly. In everything we write a character doing, from how they sit to how they speak to what drink they have it all is saying something about that character. Pick up a menu next time you're out to eat, what would the main character of your latest story order?

Is their choice of salad dressing important to your story? well only if it's -really- kinky... but its through little things that we tell the personailities of our characters. It is only once we have characters that we can have tension and it is only with tension we can have plot. Now I know the 'P' word is sometimes frowned upon on Lit, but seriously, I love plot.

Now I am guilty as the next person of throwing out half done characters that have as much personality to them as your average kid's TV show charactature. But I've noticed my more appreciated stories actually are the ones that i could tell you what someone would eat. Those are the ones with tension, the ones you actually don't know what is going to happen.

OK I hope that was coherant, either way it was a nice break from a piece of dialog i've now re-writeen about 15 times. Or maybe this post is my way of saying its past lunch time.

--Alex