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Old 12-12-2003, 12:44 AM   #1
MathGirl
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MG's Dubious Dictionary

This is a continuation of the late, unlamented DurtGurl's Dubious Dicctionary (sick).http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/s...hreadid=209598

...........continued...............

ALUDEL: A Swedish musical instrument. The delicate sound closely resembles that of a large animal passing wind.

AMANUENSIS: One who writes from dictation.* The job for which MG is employed by DurtGurl.

AMBEER: Juice from chewing tobacco.* E.g. "Elvina, I see yer achawin' agin. Yer car gots brown streaks of crusted ambeer all down the side from spittin' outa the winder."

AMBRY: An alcove for church vessels.* Often used as a place of privacy to explore the dirt road of the new altar boy.

Last edited by MathGirl : 12-15-2003 at 02:32 PM.
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Old 12-12-2003, 11:33 AM   #2
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AMBISINISTROUS: Inept and awkward with both hands.* When a Son of Onan is ambisinistrous, the accidental slippage of the fist from the member during a vigorous upstroke often results in a broken nose or a thumb in the eye.

ALVEARY: The area of the ear where ear wax (cerumen) accumulates.* Encrusted deposits are often removed by ahisma (qv) or with small explosive charges.

AMERCE: Punish.* E.g. "Well, Cosgrove, I got some bad news fer ya'll. The amerce fer runnin' a red light is three days in jail with yer ears nailed ta the wall."

AMICE: Strip of fine linen worn by a priest at mass.* A versatile item, the amice is also used as a bridle whilst playing "horsie" with the altar boy.

AMNIOMANCER: One who divines by examining afterbirth.* E.g. "Holy shit, Horatio! According to this placenta, we're either going to be visited by a plague of locusts or my wife will blow the paper boy tomorrow."

Reminder: The asterisk (*) following a definition indicates that the word and the definition thereof are correct. What follows may or may not be. Words without an asterisk are to be used at the reader's risk. The editorial staff cannot be responsible for their use. Ed.

Last edited by MathGirl : 12-12-2003 at 11:37 AM.
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Old 12-12-2003, 10:47 PM   #3
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AMORETTO: Cherub or spirit of love.* E.g. "Ohh, Giuseppi, I feel as if I've been visited by an amoretto. Let me get my legs wrapped around your neck."

AMRITA: That still, soft inner voice that comes in the night, whispering, "Does the molybdenum coating on those pistons really, really reduce the friction coefficient, or am I just living in a fool's paradise?"

AMBUSTION: Burn or scald.* E.g. "Good grief, Claude, ya stuck the wrong weenie in the campfire an' ya got ambustion! Now put that thang back in yer pants an' quit awhinin'. I got ma doubts y'alls ever gonna be Boy Scout material."

AMNICOLIST: A woman who poses as a physician, has a yellow Playtex glove, and gives free prostate examinations to homeless men in parks. A mildly eccentric but essentially harmless hobby
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Old 12-13-2003, 02:44 AM   #4
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Since I can't find your other dictionary threads, I'm going to post here. What is the term for the side of the neck. Like there is the nape for the back and then there is the throat for the front. Right now it seems really awkward with the flow of my story using the phrase "admiring her side of the neck".
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Old 12-13-2003, 11:28 AM   #5
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ANACARDIC: Of or related to cashews.* The cashew, admittedly, is a prince amongst nuts and a rare find in a dish of Planter's mixed. It is felt, however, that having its own adjective is a bit over the top.

AMPELIDIOUS: Of or relating to vines.* E.g. "Ohh, Jose, you make me so hot. Let's meet tonight amongst the ampelidious greenery and play hide the salami."

AMPHIMIXIS: That uneasy promonition, just before sleep, that one will awaken with a naked, sweaty Jessie Ventura sitting on one's face.

ANACAMPSEROTE: Something which can bring back a lost love.* E.g. "Aww, com'on, Evelyn. Please gimme another chance. This here Viagra is a real anacampserote."

Ps. Dear Xel: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/s...hreadid=209598

Sorry, custom words and definitions are not normally available. This column is a public service, meant to provide the greatest benefit for the largest number of people. Custom work can be done, though. It requires a substantial payment up front and a three week waiting period. Contact DurtGurl for particulars. Thank you for your interest. MG

Last edited by MathGirl : 12-13-2003 at 11:34 AM.
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Old 12-13-2003, 10:47 PM   #6
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AMPHISBAENA: Having the ability to urinate both on dry land and under water. Common in small boys who piss in swimming pools and grown men who enjoy passing water whilst sharing a spa with their wives.

AMYLOID: Containing or related to starch. Starchy.* E.g. "I con't mean to criticize your eating habits, Georgina, but isn't a meal of mashed potatos, cornbread dressing, spaghetti, french fries, rice, and beans just ever so slightly amyloid? No wonder you have your clothes made at Acme Tent and Awning."

ANABIOSIS: Returning to life after apparent death.* E.g. "Damn, sure a good thing I sprouted a woody when that cute mortitian started the embalming."

AMPHIBOLIC: Having the ability to turn both backwards and forwards.* Responsible for the end of the disco era of dancing. Amphibolic dancers would occasionally overdo their gyrations and turn themselves inside out. Their giblets would be scraped off the walls and the entire area hosed down and steam sterilized.
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Old 12-14-2003, 11:52 AM   #7
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AMPLIATIVE: Supplemental. Additional.* The annoying, inconvenient, and often embarrassing portion of the bowel movement which occurs after one pulls up the pantyhose and leaves the privy. Afterpiece (qv).

AMPHISCIAN: Of or related to torrid regions.* E.g. "Leroy, this place be one amphiscian mofo. I thank ma belt buckle jist melted. Sheeeit!"

ANACATHARTIC: Causing vomiting or expectoration.* E.g. "What a lovely soiree, Mrs Cosgrove. The rhubarb dip is delicious, and the Ripple is chilled perfectly. Oh, dear ... RRRaalllpphhhhh! Gosh, I'm so sorry about your fish tank."

ANADROMOUS: Fish which ascend rivers to spawn.* E.g. "Salmonetta, dear, you look lovely here in the kelp bed. It makes me feel anadromous. Lets you and I head upriver for a weekend of wild, unhibited spawning?"
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Old 12-14-2003, 12:07 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Xelebes
... What is the term for the side of the neck. ...Right now it seems really awkward with the flow of my story using the phrase "admiring her side of the neck."
Try "dewlaps" or "wattles."

You are no Ally McBeal fan, I take it.
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Old 12-14-2003, 08:12 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Quasimodem
Try "dewlaps" or "wattles."
Dear Quaz,
There's always the Aztec term "Xotchichtoxmacotl" meaning "Place where hickeys roost."
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Old 12-14-2003, 09:29 PM   #10
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Maths: slight correction, there's no 'o' between the 'c' and 't'.

Xarrumphotl,

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Old 12-15-2003, 11:23 AM   #11
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ANAGALACTIC: Of or related to things outside the galaxy.* E.g. "Hay, Joe Don! Y'all come on over here an' brang a jug of Absolut. I got me some mescaline. I reckon we otta go anagalactic with that combination."

ANACOLUTHON: Moving to new topic of discussion before finishing current one.* A situation commonly encountered by starters of threads at the Author's Hangout.

ANACRISIS: Interrogation accompanied by torture.* E.g. "Okay, Cosgrove. We know you ran that stop sign this morning. I'll loosen the testicle vise if you sign a full confession."

ANELASTICISM: The catastrophic loss of elasticity in the waistband of one's underwear. Results in serious injury should one's panties suddenly drop to one's ankles while descending a flight of stairs.

Ps. Personal to Perdita: Thanks ever so much for the correction. My Aztec is a bit rusty, I'm afraid.
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Old 12-15-2003, 02:30 PM   #12
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ANADIPLOSIS: The vague, uneasy feeling that one is standing chin-deep up shit creek, and there is a ski boat approaching.

ANALEMMA: A difficult question involving one's nether orifice. From the Greek "Ana"-Butthole and "Lemm"-A dilemma. A word bandied about by existentialist and solipsistic philosophers, but best avoided by the layman.

ANAPHALANTIASIS: Falling out of the eyebrows.* A useless word which should be shunned by even the most ardent philologist. If there is some oversight committee that determines which words make it into the English language, I would like to speak to them about this one. Ed.
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Old 12-15-2003, 02:34 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by MathGirl
If there is some oversight committee that determines which words make it into the English language, I would like to speak to them about this one. Ed.
Dear Editor,

I believe that committee is in England. Actually, there are probably two, one in the south, one in Yorkshire; they bicker.

Perdita
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Old 12-15-2003, 02:36 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by perdita one in the south, one in Yorkshire; they bicker.
Dear Perdita,
Who can blame them. Look where they live.
Insulararlily,
MG
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Old 12-15-2003, 02:38 PM   #15
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Perdita

Most Yorkshiremen would take exception to you saying that Yorkshire is in England.

Yorkshires bloody Yorkshire, it just has an English appendage.

Will's
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Old 12-15-2003, 02:46 PM   #16
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Thanks, Wills. I will occasionally comment on a political thread, I'll even deny being a Yanqui, but I have no more to say about Yorkshire or its men.

Perdita
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Old 12-15-2003, 02:48 PM   #17
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Kindof that weird, silly appendix that hangs on the other side of the penis - "the man".
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Old 12-15-2003, 08:01 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by Svenskaflicka Kindof that weird, silly appendix that hangs on the other side of the penis - "the man".
Dear Svenska,
Excellent definition. What's the word? How's the sheep decorating coming along?
MG

ANAGNORMANCY: Divination by examination of feces. E.g. "Lookie here, Earl. By the looks of that big ol' turd Grampa jist laid, we're in fer a hard winter."

ANAUDIA: Loss of voice.* E.g. "............................... .............................!"

ANAEMOPHILUS: Pollinated by wind.* E.g. "Daddy, I'm tellin' ya I either picked it up from a toilet seat or it was anaemophilus."

ANGARY: Right of a belligerent to seize neutral property.* E.g. "Piss off, Elmer. I found this here hawg awanderin' around loose, and it's mine now."
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Old 12-15-2003, 10:47 PM   #19
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ANCHORITE: One withdrawn from the world for religious reasons.* Monks, nuns, etc. The "Anchorite-Catamite-Onanite" movement has recently become a popular venue for the monastic life.

ANAFRACTUISNESS: The feeling one gets when one finds oneself in a biker beer joint wearing a pink, "Kiss Me, I'm Gay" tee shirt.

ANDRAGOGY: The art and science of toilet training adults. The demand for practitioners in the field is quite strong. Master's programs in andragogy, though, attract few students, and much of the field work is done by mere technicians with junior college training.

ANATINE: Of or pertaining to ducks.* It's comforting to know that Daffy, Donald, Daisy, Huey, Dewey, Looie, Uncle Scrooge, and the Anaheim hockey team have their own adjective. Ed.
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Old 12-16-2003, 12:27 AM   #20
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ANBURY: Soft, fleshy tumor in horses.* Of little interest or importance unless one happens to be a horse with said affliction or have money on the nag in the third race at Santa Anita.

ANEMOGRAPH: An instrument used to measure and chart wind velocity.* Attached to a small wind sock, it is affixed to the perianal region for study of flatulodynamics (qv).

ANCEPHALIC: Lacking a brain.* A characteristic common amongst senders of anonymous feedback about stories at Lit.com.

ANESIS: Tuning to a lower musical pitch.* A common phenomenon in the voices of female body builders and German olympians who use anabolic steroids.
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Old 12-16-2003, 12:32 AM   #21
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Great, Maths. I so look forward to the first thread by someone presenting their "ancephalical" feedback and asking for empathy.

Perdita

p.s. love "flatulodynamics" too.
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Old 12-16-2003, 08:38 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by perdita
love "flatulodynamics" too.
Dear Perdita,
I can't help myself. I guess it's my engineering background.
MG

ANIMADVERT: To comment critically upon; censure.* E.g. "I swear, Elvina, that Hortense is the homeliest woman I ever seen. She gotta carry a pork chop in her pocket, elst her dawg won't have nuthin' ta to with her."

ANNOMINATION: A play on words; pun.* The lowest form of humor. Universally condemned, and abolished in most advanced cultures. The absolute nadir of risibility; lower, even, than the execrable knock-knock joke.

ANKER: A liquid measure equivalent to 8.5 gallons.* Used in underveloped parts of Africa, because it is a load which can be carried on the head of a female draftperson. About half a tank in the average automobile. A handy measure in cultures which have adopted the 4.25 or 17 gallon volume as standard.

Last edited by MathGirl : 12-16-2003 at 08:41 PM.
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Old 12-16-2003, 09:02 PM   #23
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ANISOTHENIC: Of unequal strength.* Disparity in musculature between the right and left upper extremities of onanists. Extreme hypertrophy of the superior arm is sometimes seen in dedicated chicken chokers. (See attached. Ed.)
Attached Images
File Type: jpg onan.jpg (36.3 KB, 29 views)

Last edited by MathGirl : 12-16-2003 at 09:07 PM.
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Old 12-16-2003, 11:55 PM   #24
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ANTHROMANCY: Divination by the use of human entrails.* E.g. "Oh, shit, Lester! If ahm areadin' Ol' Man Fletcher's guts correctly, yore tonker's gonna fall off next month."

ANTHOMANCY: Divination by the use of flowers.* E.g. "Mr Higgins, I have wonderful news! According to the pachysandra petals, you're going to give birth to twins next year. Anthomancy never lies, you know."

ANALGETIC: Alleviating or relieving pain.* E.g. "Are you ready for the analgetic, Mr Cosgrove? I'm going to put your right testicle on the table and give it a little whack with this mallet. I guarantee your headache will be relieved immediately."
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Old 12-17-2003, 09:54 AM   #25
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ANTAPOLOGY: Response to an apology.* E.g. "Fuck you, Cletus. Y'all kin take that "I'm sorry" an' shove it up yer ass."

ANTONOMASIA: Use of an epithet instead of a proper name.* E.g. "Daddy, why cain't ya call Joe Tom by his real name instead of, 'that li'l cocksucker?'"

APHLOLGISTIC: Flameless.* E.g. "Hey, Leon! Y'all gotta match. Ma Zippo's done gone all aphlolgistic on me."

APHERESIS: Inbreeding. In certain parts of Arkansas, if a twelve year old girl gives birth to a baby without a cleft palate, it is considered a sign that the girl thinks her immediate family is not good enough for her.

Ps. Blame the AV on Quaz. I think he has too much free time.
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