Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Story Feedback

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 04-01-2004, 07:08 PM   #276
SlickTony
Literotica Guru
 
SlickTony's Avatar
 
SlickTony is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: North Florida
Posts: 6,340
I've read tons of SF and fantasy stuff, and the setting reminded me a little of the worlds created by people like Bradley, Lackey, etc., except for all the sex, of course--I mean all the stuff about summer festivals, initiations, apprentices and masters etc. But the dialog sounded thoroughly grounded in the here and now. Not to say I didn't like it--the scenes were very hot.
__________________
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. ---- Groucho Marx


slicktony's stories
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-02-2004, 03:14 AM   #277
Black Tulip
Not so delicate flower
 
Black Tulip's Avatar
 
Black Tulip is offline
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: North of the sun.
Posts: 5,945
Yes, I see what you mean. I'm probably infected by reading lots of Forgotten Realms and the likes.

__________________
Black Tulip
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
A dirty mind is a joy for ever. - John Keats' sister
Best Dutch Language Story 2004 & 2005

My garden
Newbie Support Forum

Dutch Literotica
The Visual Artists Corner
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-02-2004, 08:29 PM   #278
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Chain Stories...

I am lumping these all in together because I think they are awesome....

Greetings fellow Lite Readers and Writers....

Several Known and Not-Yet-Known Authors have been eagerly participating in Chain Stories.

Here is an update on a few of them...

Zodiac Girls:
Zodiac Girls Ch. 01 Capricorn, Chaya written by Elizabetht Nominated in February for the year long Author's Choice Awards
Zodiac Girls Ch. 02 Aquarius, Arielle written by damppanties HOT!
Zodiac Girls Ch. 03Pisces, Lyssa written by CrimsonMaiden
Zodiac Girls Ch. 03Aries, Jayne written by dr_mabeuse HOT!
Zodiac Girls Ch. 05 Taurus, Jenn written by Joseki Ko
Zodiac Girls Ch. 06 Gemini, Deanna written by CrimsonMaiden
Zodiac Girls Ch. 07 Cancer, Jace written by damppanties
Zodiac Girls Ch. 08Leo, Brianna written by msboy8
Zodiac Girls Ch. 09 Virgo, Mrs. Templeton-Bush written by Man Ray

Still pending...
Libra (sept 24 - oct 23) dr_mabeuse
Scorpio (oct 24 - nov 22) Joseki Ko
Sagittarus (nov 23 - dec 21) Tatelou

Other Chain Stories in the works...
Mirror Mirror started by My Erotic Tail
Lord of the Rings started by Joseki Ko

Both chains have room for many more author's if you are interested in joining please post to the forum threads.
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-02-2004, 11:09 PM   #279
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
My second story for the contest posted...

Earth Day with the Gods

I would love reads, feedback, pc's and votes... thank you in advance.

If you want to see the first of the two stories here is the link for the first one...

Uganda Goddess
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-03-2004, 08:54 PM   #280
tiger_smurf
Experienced
 
tiger_smurf is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Washington State
Posts: 77
My first story is up. It's a celebrity fantasy w/ my favorite actress, Kate Winslet. It's relatively short; about 3000+ words. I'd really appriciate any feedback and comments.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=136197
-ck
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-03-2004, 09:28 PM   #281
My Erotic Tail
tale weaving
 
My Erotic Tail's Avatar
 
My Erotic Tail is offline
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: If you are reading this, I am before you.
Posts: 1,841
Mirror Mirror~

"Mirror Mirror..." Chapter 01 The Mirror

This is a Chain story ...

Here is the Chain Story thread...
for future authors and their Chapters...
Chain Story "Mirror Mirror"

Fellow Authors:

LadyShianne~
Elizabetht~
CrimsonMaiden~
Tatelou~
jthserra~
Joseki ko~

Keep your eye out for this intriguing and
multi- Avenued Mysterious tales
future Chapters too...he he he
__________________
Winter Holiday Story Contest Story
A Carpenter's Carol
Trinity
(Earth Day Story Contest 2005)

The Ballad of Amarillo Rose
ZMP~ Leaves that don't fall
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-04-2004, 08:44 AM   #282
Black Tulip
Not so delicate flower
 
Black Tulip's Avatar
 
Black Tulip is offline
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: North of the sun.
Posts: 5,945
Re: Chain Stories...

Quote:
Originally posted by Elizabetht
I am lumping these all in together because I think they are awesome....

Greetings fellow Lite Readers and Writers....

Several Known and Not-Yet-Known Authors have been eagerly participating in Chain Stories.

Here is an update on a few of them...

Zodiac Girls:
Zodiac Girls Ch. 01 Capricorn, Chaya written by Elizabetht Nominated in February for the year long Author's Choice Awards
Zodiac Girls Ch. 02 Aquarius, Arielle written by damppanties HOT!
Zodiac Girls Ch. 03Pisces, Lyssa written by CrimsonMaiden
Zodiac Girls Ch. 03Aries, Jayne written by dr_mabeuse HOT!
Zodiac Girls Ch. 05 Taurus, Jenn written by Joseki Ko
Zodiac Girls Ch. 06 Gemini, Deanna written by CrimsonMaiden
Zodiac Girls Ch. 07 Cancer, Jace written by damppanties
Zodiac Girls Ch. 08Leo, Brianna written by msboy8
Zodiac Girls Ch. 09 Virgo, Mrs. Templeton-Bush written by Man Ray

Still pending...
Libra (sept 24 - oct 23) dr_mabeuse
Scorpio (oct 24 - nov 22) Joseki Ko
Sagittarus (nov 23 - dec 21) Tatelou

Other Chain Stories in the works...
Mirror Mirror started by My Erotic Tail
Lord of the Rings started by Joseki Ko

Both chains have room for many more author's if you are interested in joining please post to the forum threads.
I haven't read all of it yet, but the Zodiac Girls is really awesome. Highly recommended.

__________________
Black Tulip
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
A dirty mind is a joy for ever. - John Keats' sister
Best Dutch Language Story 2004 & 2005

My garden
Newbie Support Forum

Dutch Literotica
The Visual Artists Corner
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-04-2004, 09:43 AM   #283
TrinaT
Really Experienced
 
TrinaT's Avatar
 
TrinaT is offline
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Fl, USA
Posts: 126
New Story

Well, its been a while for me. But I'm ready to take that plunge again. I've started a story with 4 parts or chapters if you will. I hope you enjoy and I would appreciate any and all feedback. Part 2 has been posted now also.

Please let me know what you think.

Thanks again,

TrinaT

Lustful Cedar Key (part 1)
http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=136475


Lustful Cedar Key (part 2)
http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh...=136587&page=1
__________________
Fantasy can be the totality of real things in the world, independent of people's knowledge or perception of them.

My Stories

Last edited by TrinaT : 04-07-2004 at 02:18 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-04-2004, 10:20 AM   #284
dr_mabeuse
seduce the mind
 
dr_mabeuse's Avatar
 
dr_mabeuse is offline
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 11,516
A shameless plug for something totally unlike anything else youíll ever find on Literotica; a poetic essay on sex, life, death, and the meaning of it all: ďThe Pillar in the GardenĒ, entered in the Earth Day contest.

An excerpt:

My cock rises up with the pride of the towers of Babylon, Sidon and Tyre. Her face appears above the sere hills of my thighs, her eyes are the sun and the moon. Her mouth is a song of the depths where the sportive fishes play, deeper than the deepest darkness. Her teeth are the surf on the shores of her coral lips. Leviathan her tongue come to call me home, to the depths where water blue turns inky black, and no one knows what lives below.

Itís ineligible to win so I pulled out all the stops on this one. If you think sexiness lives in your mind as well as your gonads, you might like to check it out. I promise you: itís not the usual Earth Day story about people fucking in a National Forest.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=136935

---dr.M.
__________________
......

EPIC Award Winner: A Good Student Best E-published Erotic Novel, 2009
(E-Publishers Internet Consortium)


Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the
milk of Paradise...

Lit Stories: The Cabinet of Dr. Mabeuse...
Even more... T h e W e b s i t e
~The Love That Is Not Madness Is Not Love~


More books: Published by Jasmine-Jade
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-04-2004, 03:00 PM   #285
SlickTony
Literotica Guru
 
SlickTony's Avatar
 
SlickTony is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: North Florida
Posts: 6,340
This is great stuff. Now, I really need to understand how the system works WRT to viewing and its effects on rating, because I've already voted on it, but will probably want to give it another read and don't want to affect its rating if reading without voting does that. It's a shame only the Literotica crowd can read this. Doc, have you submitted it anywhere else?
__________________
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. ---- Groucho Marx


slicktony's stories
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-04-2004, 05:23 PM   #286
dr_mabeuse
seduce the mind
 
dr_mabeuse's Avatar
 
dr_mabeuse is offline
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Chicago
Posts: 11,516
Quote:
Originally posted by SlickTony
This is great stuff. Now, I really need to understand how the system works WRT to viewing and its effects on rating, because I've already voted on it, but will probably want to give it another read and don't want to affect its rating if reading without voting does that. It's a shame only the Literotica crowd can read this. Doc, have you submitted it anywhere else?
No, I haven't submitted it anywhere else. It was written for Literotica, and I think this is where it belongs.

Thanks for your comments, ST. Really, I don't care about the votes. I think it will say something to some people, and leave the rest cold, and that's fine with me. It was something I've wanted to write for a long time but never had the nerve, and Earth Day gave me the perfect opportunity. I couldn't figure out how to do it as a story, so I just let it run with me.

---dr.M.
__________________
......

EPIC Award Winner: A Good Student Best E-published Erotic Novel, 2009
(E-Publishers Internet Consortium)


Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the
milk of Paradise...

Lit Stories: The Cabinet of Dr. Mabeuse...
Even more... T h e W e b s i t e
~The Love That Is Not Madness Is Not Love~


More books: Published by Jasmine-Jade
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-04-2004, 07:14 PM   #287
Black Tulip
Not so delicate flower
 
Black Tulip's Avatar
 
Black Tulip is offline
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: North of the sun.
Posts: 5,945
I guess Tony's mention of Solomon refers to what I know as "Het Hooglied". Sorry don't know the English term for it.

But I like your version better doc. Celebrating life.

It made me nod, wonder and laugh aloud. Thanks.

__________________
Black Tulip
Founding member of 'The Litannies'
A dirty mind is a joy for ever. - John Keats' sister
Best Dutch Language Story 2004 & 2005

My garden
Newbie Support Forum

Dutch Literotica
The Visual Artists Corner

Last edited by Black Tulip : 04-04-2004 at 08:50 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-04-2004, 08:29 PM   #288
Katerina Val-Kyrie
Literotica Guru
 
Katerina Val-Kyrie is offline
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Thunder Bay Ontario
Posts: 709
Thumbs up Dancing Angel

Meet Cassie, a young single woman in search of her true sexuality. Coming to know Serena online has changed her, bringing undeniable excitement into her life. She needs to find her way, meet the woman that danced into her heart and her very soul. Only then, can she truly be free. Read on; find out how Cassie's impatience gets the best of her, bringing her a night of unforgettable memories.


* * * * *

Iím happy to say Dancing Angel is finally published under New Stories. Iíve worked off and on for the past two years on this piece. Being my first girl/girl story, it was definitely interesting to write. And, very enjoyable.

Please enjoy my first fictional girl/girl story. (Link Below) I liked writing it so much; I think I might try this category again someday. I would love to hear your comments. Please feel free to write me here or by email.

Hugs Katerina

http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=132860
__________________
The Cabin 1

Summerís Day

Dancing Angel

~I like to be as real as I can be, I'm only me~

Last edited by Katerina Val-Kyrie : 04-04-2004 at 08:33 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-04-2004, 08:40 PM   #289
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Hello everyone...

I'm a lit author whose desperate for feedback and criticism. The stunts I've pulled in attempts to get honest feedback have been at best, amusing, and at worst, mortifying. After a few hits and misses among the boards, I've finally found that there are no shortcuts and the only way to get people to read and critique your work is to toss it out there for them to see. I think that this is the place.

So, here I am lit...again.

My latest story is a slight divergence from the usual "erotic horror" I crank out. In fact, most of my erotic horror is gone and what remains is undergoing a much-needed editing. I'm trying on some new writing styles in order to grow a little bit and I'd like to know how I'm doing. Votes and the occasional feedback are nice, but rarely helpful as critiques.
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-04-2004, 09:15 PM   #290
Calpurnius Erex
Virgin
 
Calpurnius Erex is offline
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 8
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally posted by WyldKarde
Hello everyone...

I'm a lit author whose desperate for feedback and criticism. The stunts I've pulled in attempts to get honest feedback have been at best, amusing, and at worst, mortifying. After a few hits and misses among the boards, I've finally found that there are no shortcuts and the only way to get people to read and critique your work is to toss it out there for them to see. I think that this is the place.

So, here I am lit...again.

My latest story is a slight divergence from the usual "erotic horror" I crank out. In fact, most of my erotic horror is gone and what remains is undergoing a much-needed editing. I'm trying on some new writing styles in order to grow a little bit and I'd like to know how I'm doing. Votes and the occasional feedback are nice, but rarely helpful as critiques.
Wylde,

Voted and left public comment. I enjoyed the new story a great deal. It had a particular style and flow which I found most appealing. In terms of criticism, the only thing that I might suggest, and I hasten to add that it's from a general reader's point of view and not my own, is that it may develop a little too slowly for a general audience.

Cal
__________________
<font color="#ff0000">Discover Leta Now...</font>
<font color="#0000ff"><a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=96689">Absence</a>
<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=71189">Dreams</a>
<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=77787">Playful</a>
<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=67164">Primal</a>
<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=125372">Skirting</a></font>
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-05-2004, 12:04 AM   #291
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Hmmm, I know my writing style leans towards the more relaxed form of a novelist. I'll describe a china pattern for pages before getting to the meal itself. It's something I'm trying to work out of my short story writing at least.

Thank you for the vote and the comments though. I appreciate them.
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-05-2004, 12:30 PM   #292
bigLitfan
Virgin
 
bigLitfan is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4
Thumbs up Rogue Writer

I'd like to bring some attention to a great new author I just found here on Lit. His/her latest is "How I spent my summer vacation." It falls into the lesbian sex category.
It's a highly charged erotic tale, written with great feeling and emotion. It got a grip on me right from the start, and didn't let go all the way through to the satisfying end, including a few plot twists and a nice use of flashback.
Please read and enjoy.

Rogue Writer
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-05-2004, 12:42 PM   #293
MagicFingers
Literotica Guru
 
MagicFingers's Avatar
 
MagicFingers is offline
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Wherever you go, there you are, and So. Cal.
Posts: 1,677
The twins are at it again

"Twins become sexual empaths after a Ferris Wheel mishap at the fair".
And this leads to a very exciting new world for both of them, with each other and with their friends.
This is Chapter 2, where Mark has discovered that his sister's best friend has the hots for him, and he acts on that information to see if it is really true. It is. And with his sister's help, he discovers pleasures he never thought possible.

The first comment says there are minor misspellings. I know I put in some misspellings on purpose, like "eyesight & earsight" to get my point across. I like to make up words that fit the situation. There are very few, if any, actual misspellings.

Thanks for reading it, and if you like it, please vote. I enjoy your constructive feedback also. Thanks, MF
http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=136658
Incest/MC
__________________
Help kinda moves around...like light. Every little bit helps.
-Joan of Arcadia (RIP)11/07/03

"Love comes first into the heart of the woman. Once it's in the woman, only then can it jump into the man"
Carvadju Jose Nananghe, (A man) of Orango Island, Guinea-Bussau, where the women do the asking for marriage.
______________________________
"Those who can, do. Those who can't, write"
Please check out my stories:
My profile & Stories

Last edited by MagicFingers : 04-06-2004 at 01:32 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-05-2004, 09:01 PM   #294
Calpurnius Erex
Virgin
 
Calpurnius Erex is offline
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 8
Quote:
Originally posted by WyldKarde
Hmmm, I know my writing style leans towards the more relaxed form of a novelist. I'll describe a china pattern for pages before getting to the meal itself. It's something I'm trying to work out of my short story writing at least.

Thank you for the vote and the comments though. I appreciate them.
Relaxed is not a bad thing by any means. Natural is also a word that comes to mind as I think about your story. You write in a way that suggests that writing comes very naturally to you. That flow and tone cannot be faked and welcomes writers, I think.
__________________
<font color="#ff0000">Discover Leta Now...</font>
<font color="#0000ff"><a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=96689">Absence</a>
<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=71189">Dreams</a>
<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=77787">Playful</a>
<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=67164">Primal</a>
<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=125372">Skirting</a></font>
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-05-2004, 09:39 PM   #295
Celtic_Tease29
Virgin
 
Celtic_Tease29 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Missouri
Posts: 1
Hello everyone. I'm relatively new to the site as a writer. My first submission was just posted today in fact. I would love feedback on my story. So please tell me what you think if you want to that is.


A Story of First Touches

This is my story. Its called A Story of First Touches. Its a Lesbian erotica story. Written for someone special to me. She allowed me to share this story with everyone.

Thanks

Celtic_Tease29
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-05-2004, 10:17 PM   #296
SlickTony
Literotica Guru
 
SlickTony's Avatar
 
SlickTony is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: North Florida
Posts: 6,340
Quote:
I'll describe a china pattern for pages before getting to the meal itself. It's something I'm trying to work out of my short story writing at least.
Well, as MagicFingers pointed out, that's not a bad thing. I mean, you don't want to depart too radically from your natural style, and if you try to be like Hemingway that's what'll happen.
__________________
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. ---- Groucho Marx


slicktony's stories
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-06-2004, 05:19 AM   #297
odderotica
Experienced
 
odderotica is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 54
Talking My First Post

I've been writeing private erotica for a few years now and have decieded to take a hand in the art. I dabble in drawing as well, and hopeing I will be able to post illiustrated stories with my own illiustations. I am also hopeing to learn to spell the word "illiustrations" and its varients. Hmmm. is that right?

Ehem! <clears throat>

"a roughly sharp cough peirced the silence as the man stood alone at the stage. "

Stories are like any other creature, for they are animals sprung from the minds of men as the stima of flowers sring from the petals, spewing forth the potions and pollens of wants and desires. Desires both supressed and fulfilled.

The cloak of assumed identey can mask dreams, or it can make them real. That is the lesson of one Barbra Gorden, more often known as batgirl.

Barbra is a geeky sort, wraped up in school and her own brilliant mind. She has blossomed of late, and has not yet bothered to notice it. But a few others have.

Will the Boy Wonder show batgirl how he got the name Robin?

Does batman get him any?

How does the seemingly celibate Bruce get his swinging bacholor image?

Can the Bats save the city from Dr Isleys phallic pollen panic?

Does devilish Dick desires batgirl's beatiful bosoms?

The Answers are..........Yes,not in my stories, Alfred, sorta, and oh yeah! those little blossoms so peach shaped and firm, topped with the pertest nipples a titty could ever want.

You gotta understand here, Robin is younger than batgirl, by a several years. So he wants, but cant touch, yet.

What else...Oh yes! Stream of conscieneces, love it.

Warning these stories may well include group sex, random sex, rape, random group sex, gangbangs, lesbian sex, lesbian rape gangbangs, incest, female domination, dildo play, vegatables, vegatable rape (no shit, im really gonna work in some vegatable rape!) and possibly, cumshots.

Isley has escaped, again and gone to ground. But her plan is unleashed before the bats get wind of it. Or more, as they and the city got wind of it. A pollen that makes men and women into wanton sex feinds!

Let the games begin.

Oh and i think this right fucks my chance to work for DC anytime soon. scuse the language.


Hi
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-06-2004, 08:12 AM   #298
SlickTony
Literotica Guru
 
SlickTony's Avatar
 
SlickTony is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: North Florida
Posts: 6,340
Good luck! And don't, on any account, forget to run spellcheck.
__________________
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. ---- Groucho Marx


slicktony's stories
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-06-2004, 05:11 PM   #299
lustybard
Really Really Experienced
 
lustybard's Avatar
 
lustybard is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 482
my new story is up! check out ...

http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=136080

Six 'Til Nine

A little creative writing about a favorite position.

please let me know what you think.
__________________
my stories and poetry

"Dusk"

Her lips curved, ever-so-slightly,
like the horizon, outlined in
the last light before dusk.
Not to kiss them would have been
like holding back the moon.

Slowly, the kisses deepened
and descended, down her throat,
her breasts, her shadowed belly;
seduced further by her skin,
which contained every shade
of the evening.
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-06-2004, 08:22 PM   #300
odderotica
Experienced
 
odderotica is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 54
Good luck! And don't, on any account, forget to run spellcheck.

I'm double checking all my submissoins at spellcheck.net, but forum post might not get that treatment sides, what fun would it be if we all spelled words the same way every time

One thing im wondering is how well my stream of C style will work with erotic writeing. Will it kill the mood, or enhance it?

Hmmm my story has not posted yet, I will link it when it does.
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:47 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.