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"To keep the review thread clean..."

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Esperanza_Hidalgo said:
Hmmm. maybe Angeline would let noobie borrow that form if noobie is really a nice little noobie. Noobie likes and thinks it is kewl.

<snip>
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I'll try to explain cause I didn't derive it in any kind of pattern that I wrote down. What I was trying to do was make the structure convey the meaning as well as the meaning conveying the meaning. For example: there is a William Carlos Williams poem about an old woman eating plums, ok? (Not the plums that are in the icebox, this is a different poem.) Anywho she is taking them from a bag and eating them and in each successive strophe he uses the phrase "they taste so good to her," but he varies where he ends lines with it so you get:

It tastes so good to her.

It tastes so good
to her

It tastes
so good
to her

It tastes


Now that isn't exact, but the idea is that even though you are reading the same words, the change in order gives you the sensation of eating something: you put some in your mouth, then more, then it's gone, it's done. The construction conveys the meaning as much as the meaning conveys the meaning.

And with that I say thank you to you and 1201 and anyone else who comments on An Afternoon of Sometimes or Jive at Five or Blue Lester. 1201's comments are sending me scurrying afar on the web to look up poems and techniques!

:rose:
 
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i'll try to catch up tomorrow with comments and reads - read some but need time to add my thoughts. :) some cool stuff keeps right on coming along. this makes me do the pants-on-my-head dance.
 
chipbutty said:
i'll try to catch up tomorrow with comments and reads - read some but need time to add my thoughts. :) some cool stuff keeps right on coming along. this makes me do the pants-on-my-head dance.
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Video or it didn't happen.
 
Angeline said:
I'll try to explain cause I didn't derive it in any kind of pattern that I wrote down. What I was trying to do was make the structure convey the meaning as well as the meaning conveying the meaning. For example: there is a William Carlos Williams poem about an old woman eating plums, ok? (Not the plums that are in the icebox, this is a different poem.) Anywho she is taking them from a bag and eating them and in each successive strophe he uses the phrase "they taste so good to her," but he varies where he ends lines with it so you get:

It tastes so good to her.

It tastes so good
to her

It tastes
so good
to her

It tastes


Now that isn't exact, but the idea is that even though you are reading the same words, the change in order gives you the sensation of eating something: you put some in your mouth, then more, then it's gone, it's done. The construction conveys the meaning as much as the meaning conveys the meaning.

And with that I say thank you to you and 1201 and anyone else who comments on An Afternoon of Sometimes or Jive at Five or Blue Lester. 1201's comments are sending me scurrying afar on the web to look up poems and techniques!

:rose:
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1201 apologises and promises not to talk about WCW
 
I just want to thank people for their comments. I always find some useful critique or suggestion that is invaluable.

As for the sonnet not sonnet, I'm feeling for something but not sure what. I suppose that is my lack of formal poetry eductation which has both an upside and a downside. It can be liberating or have me wasting so much time reinventing the wheel.
 
bogusagain said:
I just want to thank people for their comments. I always find some useful critique or suggestion that is invaluable.

As for the sonnet not sonnet, I'm feeling for something but not sure what. I suppose that is my lack of formal poetry eductation which has both an upside and a downside. It can be liberating or have me wasting so much time reinventing the wheel.
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You are not reinventing the wheel, my friend, just retreading it--which is a wholly good function for a poet. I left a comment which seems to have disappeared, which is sad because I loved the poem.

To save a post, may I also thank vrose and twelveone for their recommendations and to all the lovely commentators on various poems. :rose:
 
If I'm supposed to thank 1201 for not recommending my poems, but he did, um should I go in the other thread and harass him? :confused:

Nah. I'll thank him anyway.

:rose:
 
Angeline said:
If I'm supposed to thank 1201 for not recommending my poems, but he did, um should I go in the other thread and harass him? :confused:

Nah. I'll thank him anyway.

:rose:
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the recommendation of nonrecommendation, something I learned from the East
you are supposed to thank me by the thanks of nonthanks
mysterious are these ways

Besides if I say I don't know, it gives everybody a chance to get one up on me. Clever, huh?
Besides, I really don't know. And nobody did NPR. Or maybe they did. I just thought they should be mentioned.
 
twelveoone said:
the recommendation of nonrecommendation, something I learned from the East
you are supposed to thank me by the thanks of nonthanks
mysterious are these ways

Besides if I say I don't know, it gives everybody a chance to get one up on me. Clever, huh?
Besides, I really don't know. And nobody did NPR. Or maybe they did. I just thought they should be mentioned.
Click to expand...

I am trying to rewrite a poem and it is giving me a headache. I just hate telling my poems not now I have a headache. But maybe it's easier to just write something new.
 
Angeline said:
I'll try to explain cause I didn't derive it in any kind of pattern that I wrote down. What I was trying to do was make the structure convey the meaning as well as the meaning conveying the meaning. For example: there is a William Carlos Williams poem about an old woman eating plums, ok? (Not the plums that are in the icebox, this is a different poem.) Anywho she is taking them from a bag and eating them and in each successive strophe he uses the phrase "they taste so good to her," but he varies where he ends lines with it so you get:

It tastes so good to her.

It tastes so good
to her

It tastes
so good
to her

It tastes


Now that isn't exact, but the idea is that even though you are reading the same words, the change in order gives you the sensation of eating something: you put some in your mouth, then more, then it's gone, it's done. The construction conveys the meaning as much as the meaning conveys the meaning.

And with that I say thank you to you and 1201 and anyone else who comments on An Afternoon of Sometimes or Jive at Five or Blue Lester. 1201's comments are sending me scurrying afar on the web to look up poems and techniques!

:rose:
Click to expand...

You are quite welcome and thank you for taking the time to explain. It is something I am going to play around with a bit.

I must add, that reading the banter on this thread is the best poetry of say, the last thirty seconds of my life. Teeheehee.

Uhm, I just don't know. But I do know that I do not know what I don't know which is some type of knowing. I think.

I am gonna play with a wittle poem now, something about maggot filled dreams and rotting fish--nah, maybe not ...

I just don't know...maybe so.

No, I'm not high, just deliriously in love--that is poetry.
 
Angeline said:
I am trying to rewrite a poem and it is giving me a headache. I just hate telling my poems not now I have a headache. But maybe it's easier to just write something new.
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Seriously, walk away from it. you have been putting out some really good (some great) stuff. Take a break. It can't be forced.
 
Angeline said:
I am trying to rewrite a poem and it is giving me a headache. I just hate telling my poems not now I have a headache. But maybe it's easier to just write something new.
Click to expand...

I agree with twelve; walk away for a bit. I have had to learn to work during headaches but I have more than two a day, sometimes the same headache for a week. I pick at mine. Do a little here and there, the occassional binge. I often find walking away results in a perfect line.:D
 
Thanks for all the comments on Pavlovian Response. :rose:This one was triggered by having yet another episode of overwhelming desire for a stranger when I spotted a specific facial configuration, just as in the poem. I figured there must be others having the same experience.

Regarding Ange's comments, I am working it the direction you suggested.:D
 
twelveoone said:
What is it? I usually get in trouble with mine:rolleyes:
Eyes chest, so is it cold in here, or are you just glad to see me?
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Just cold but am pleased to see you. Wish it was cold here. It's 5.15pm and about 30c.

I meant that the perfect line for a poem often occurs when I walk away and do something else. Often unfortunately it is going to bed and trying to sleep. Damn things weasel their way in when I am trying to nod off.
 
vrosej10 said:
Thanks for all the comments on Pavlovian Response. :rose:This one was triggered by having yet another episode of overwhelming desire for a stranger when I spotted a specific facial configuration, just as in the poem. I figured there must be others having the same experience.

Regarding Ange's comments, I am working it the direction you suggested.:D
Click to expand...
BTW, did you see my comment, there is nothing there. That can't be done. That's weird.
maybe the score never took, check it for me.
 
vrosej10 said:
Just cold but am pleased to see you. Wish it was cold here. It's 5.15pm and about 30c.

I meant that the perfect line for a poem often occurs when I walk away and do something else. Often unfortunately it is going to bed and trying to sleep. Damn things weasel their way in when I am trying to nod off.
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I hate that I once finished Kubla Khan for Coleridge, but then I fell asleep.
 
twelveoone said:
BTW, did you see my comment, there is nothing there. That can't be done. That's weird.
maybe the score never took, check it for me.
Click to expand...

I actually thought you were being clever, physically describing speechlessness. if not that is weird. I will check...I have got what appears to be 5 x 5 and a 3. I think yours is probably there. Did you give me that three?:D
 
UnderYourSpell said:
OMG she's flippped
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not at all - it's a silly tv thing, saturday morning tv as it was ;)

Liar said:
Video or it didn't happen.
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well i recorded it and posted it but it seems to have followed 12oh's comments into disappeary mode. i cannot begin to explain the whys of the ether. i'll blame god.

twelveoone said:
BTW, did you see my comment, there is nothing there. That can't be done. That's weird.
maybe the score never took, check it for me.
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a clever stunt, indeed. left me puzzled for sure. i even scrolled over in case it was in invisible ink! :eek:

twelveoone said:
I hate that I once finished Kubla Khan for Coleridge, but then I fell asleep.
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dontcha just hate it when that happens? :mad:
 
vrosej10 said:
I actually thought you were being clever, physically describing speechlessness. if not that is weird. I will check...I have got what appears to be 5 x 5 and a 3. I think yours is probably there. Did you give me that three?:D
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No, I'll go back and try to vote. You never could do that before. A long time ago I got tired of being prompted for the heading so *.
 
vrosej10 said:
I actually thought you were being clever, physically describing speechlessness. if not that is weird. I will check...I have got what appears to be 5 x 5 and a 3. I think yours is probably there. Did you give me that three?:D
Click to expand...
a 5 (i hope), as for the comment, probably could have been safely ignored.
 
Apologies and many thanks for those that have read and/or commented on the 52 pickup poems that I have posted. I don't do as good of a job as I should and recognizing those that take the time and read my stuff. Life seems to get in the way of doing many of the things I should. Just know that I do appreciate you spending some time with me.
 
Twelve and Chip,

Thanks for the comments. I actually posted this one because I had gotten to an impass and couldn't work out why I wasn't satisfied with it. You comments helped, gave me a sense of a direction to go in.

It really was a true story as bizarre as it sounded.

Vee
 
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