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Having sex for the first time.

In fairness I am not sure what the appeal is for a lady. Aside from the fact I think men are generally ugly as sin and the fact we make such a mess during the act, it's a small miracle women even bother with men at all. In fact I think I would prefer a good book and a cup of earl grey. And perhaps some fresh scones, strawberry champagne jam with clotted cream. Now that's something I can get behind!
 
Doog_kuron said:
In fairness I am not sure what the appeal is for a lady. Aside from the fact I think men are generally ugly as sin and the fact we make such a mess during the act, it's a small miracle women even bother with men at all. In fact I think I would prefer a good book and a cup of earl grey. And perhaps some fresh scones, strawberry champagne jam with clotted cream. Now that's something I can get behind!
Click to expand...

I'm afraid I have to disagree. I much prefer getting behind a good woman. I can still have tea and scones afterwards, very rewarding indeed.
 
xtinelauren1 said:
I'm a virgin, not a naive 12 year old with no understanding of men. And there isn't a difference. Vaginas are vaginas. When a woman is aroused enough, even if she's a virgin, her vagina will expand. If in your experience a virgin was "tight", it was because she wasn't aroused enough. But that bolded part made me chuckle and was enough to not take anything you've posted seriously. Your alternative view is dangerous and I'm thankful there is an "overwhelming feminist force" who truly understand these things.
Click to expand...

this reply made ME want to be your first. You're fucking awesome :D

(As for tips about the first time, I'd say to definitely tell whomever it is you're with but honestly, as another poster mentioned, find someone who turns you on and when you're making out and heavy petting doing something like sticking his hand inside of your panties and then pulling him out of his pants will send the appropriate message of what you're looking for)
 
basic_desires said:
If the thought of a man cumming in you makes your stomach turn I think you really are not quite ready to have sex.
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Nah, I'll just stick with condoms when the time comes. There's just nothing appealing to me about the visuals.
 
xtinelauren1 said:
Nah, I'll just stick with condoms when the time comes. There's just nothing appealing to me about the visuals.
Click to expand...

Okay so I kind of skimmed through this to get a gist of things.

First and foremost love- be yourself. No guy is going to get turned on from you being a porn star. Okay scratch that. They will, but that would come to be expected of you-every time. The one thing guys have admired about me is my blatant honesty. If I like something you're doing, I'll tell you as well as if I don't. I for one, don't try to play all my cards on the first night. Perhaps watch some porn- if you want to get an idea of the kinds of things guys will try to do with you. See what may interest you...what you may want to try, but don't pull out all the stops for the first time. I know it's supposed to be special, magical even-but like I said...not worth being someone you're not.

There is absolutely nothing, (and I mean nothing) wrong with being nervous or wanting to use condoms. Sex should be fun, exciting and pleasurable for you both. And if you're hurting, he will stop and will be too... (blue balls isn't fun from what I hear). Condoms make sex enjoyable of course and protect you from the vicious stds and from being a mother when you're not ready. But they're there to protect. And once you're comfortable with the person and he is too you can stop using them. There is no law stating you have to use them. Most women prefer them- I don't as I feel they get in the way...just how I am though.

Do you have someone in mind? Will you be comfortable telling him you're a virgin? I mean guys can tell as much as women can... So just politely tell him to take things slow-no need to rush. Enjoy all of each other.

Lastly did I mention be yourself and have fun? :)
Hope that helped a bit! :)
 
basic_desires said:
I'm afraid I have to disagree. I much prefer getting behind a good woman. I can still have tea and scones afterwards, very rewarding indeed.
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And it's especially nice when I can have tea and scones in the lady's company. That way, we get to know more about each other than how we do in bed.

And BTW, where is your avatar, Domesticity? It always brightened my day.
 
xtinelauren1 said:
Nah, I'll just stick with condoms when the time comes. There's just nothing appealing to me about the visuals.
Click to expand...

Have you considered the fairer sex?

If the idea of cum is ugh to you, a lady sex partner will certainly solve that issue. Well, there is cum involved but it's a bit different. And you're certainly familiar with the equipment, so "driving" it should be no problem.

Somebody once told me you have to try everything three times:

Once to get past the "shock" of trying something new.

Then again to learn how to do it properly.

And finally, one last time to see if you like it.

If you do, you've got a new hobby!
 
gunthernehmen said:
Have you considered the fairer sex?

If the idea of cum is ugh to you, a lady sex partner will certainly solve that issue. Well, there is cum involved but it's a bit different. And you're certainly familiar with the equipment, so "driving" it should be no problem.

Somebody once told me you have to try everything three times:

Once to get past the "shock" of trying something new.

Then again to learn how to do it properly.

And finally, one last time to see if you like it.

If you do, you've got a new hobby!
Click to expand...

Well that's an interesting perspective. Doesn't like cum so must be a lesbian. Interesting. And what an erotic description for the female body, equipment. By Jove I think this individual is on to something. Problem solved, well done Scooby gang. Now onto another mystery, I hear old man Fred up at the farm house is being haunted by a headless ghost to the mystery machine!
 
gunthernehmen said:
Have you considered the fairer sex?

If the idea of cum is ugh to you, a lady sex partner will certainly solve that issue. Well, there is cum involved but it's a bit different. And you're certainly familiar with the equipment, so "driving" it should be no problem.
Click to expand...

Female sexual response doesn't come in Factory Standard Version. Each woman has her own OS :)
 
gunthernehmen said:
Have you considered the fairer sex?

If the idea of cum is ugh to you, a lady sex partner will certainly solve that issue. Well, there is cum involved but it's a bit different. And you're certainly familiar with the equipment, so "driving" it should be no problem.

Somebody once told me you have to try everything three times:

Once to get past the "shock" of trying something new.

Then again to learn how to do it properly.

And finally, one last time to see if you like it.

If you do, you've got a new hobby!
Click to expand...
I'm not sexually attracted to women, so that's not an option.
 
Doog_kuron said:
Well that's an interesting perspective. Doesn't like cum so must be a lesbian. Interesting. And what an erotic description for the female body, equipment. By Jove I think this individual is on to something. Problem solved, well done Scooby gang. Now onto another mystery, I hear old man Fred up at the farm house is being haunted by a headless ghost to the mystery machine!
Click to expand...

Haha, this is great.
 
joelafayette said:
... except that I live in the real world, and you're wrong. Granted, it's not always true, but sometimes there is a noticeable difference. I wouldn't write something like that if I didn't personally observe it. And even if the feel of the vagina is no different the first time, for some men, the psychological aspect of being with someone for their first time might make it very special.
Click to expand...

There certainly are guys who will value a woman more if it's her first time... but that doesn't necessarily make it a good proposition from the woman's side. Worth finding out how much they'll value her after the first time.
 
Bramblethorn said:
There certainly are guys who will value a woman more if it's her first time... but that doesn't necessarily make it a good proposition from the woman's side. Worth finding out how much they'll value her after the first time.
Click to expand...
Yea, I don't subscribe to this whole virgin mystique. If a woman isn't the same ( ie doesn't have the same 'value' ) after she's been touched by a guy, what does that say about men? If a guys dick is so fucking magical, surely she's worth more after she's been blessed with the awesome stick? The concept is as degrading as Muslims expecting 40 virgins in heaven - as though it were a reward and any guy that subscribes to that mindset shouldn't be having sex in the first place.
*end rant*

and yea, Happy Birthday lovely lady :)
 
stickygirl said:
....The concept is as degrading as Muslims expecting 40 virgins in heaven - as though it were a reward and any guy that subscribes to that mindset shouldn't be having sex in the first place.
*end rant*

....
Click to expand...

I think it is actually 72 virgins. But the exact gender is a bit less clear.
:D
 
I'm happy to see this thread hasn't died. I've actually encountered a few other virgins in their 20's as well here so hopefully this thread helps them out as well.

With that being said, I was out with friends and the topic of sex came up like it usually does, and I actually found myself being really self conscious and actually ashamed that I'm still a virgin. I know in the back of my mind it's not a big deal, but still. I remember talking with my stepmother and she said guys will wonder what's wrong with me that I'm still a virgin past 21. I want to start having sex, but whenever I've had the opportunity to, I back away. I don't know if it's all shyness, I mean I blew a guy and let him do all kinds of shit to me who I knew for a solid hour, and didn't care. I don't know...
 
xtinelauren1 said:
I'm happy to see this thread hasn't died. I've actually encountered a few other virgins in their 20's as well here so hopefully this thread helps them out as well.

With that being said, I was out with friends and the topic of sex came up like it usually does, and I actually found myself being really self conscious and actually ashamed that I'm still a virgin. I know in the back of my mind it's not a big deal, but still. I remember talking with my stepmother and she said guys will wonder what's wrong with me that I'm still a virgin past 21. I want to start having sex, but whenever I've had the opportunity to, I back away. I don't know if it's all shyness, I mean I blew a guy and let him do all kinds of shit to me who I knew for a solid hour, and didn't care. I don't know...
Click to expand...

For some people, having sex is a big deal. For others, it isn't. For some people, there has to be deeper connection; for others, said connection is not important. There isn't a right or wrong way about it, it's how you are wired.

There is nothing wrong for wanting one's first time to be enjoyable, and to be with someone that you trust and are comfortable with. Sometimes, it takes a while to find that person. Would you wonder why someone in her thirties isn't married, wondering if there is something wrong with him? No. You would chalk it up to a personal decision or that it just hasn't happened yet. Same thing.

If you aren't sure when you have had opportunities to have sex, then you are doing the right thing because it often means that either you aren't ready to have sex or there is something iffy with the guy. Having sex when you are uncertain, especially your first time, is a recipe for disaster, and in my book, unless you are sure, unless you can talk about sex with your potential partner, unless you are prepared to take the potential consequences, you shouldn't be having it (especially if you are unsure). Yes, you may find yourself enjoying yourself, but there is also a chance (if you are unsure, that is) that you will tense up and not enjoy yourself. Unenjoyable sex is very very hard to get over. Trust me.

You know what it says about you? That you value yourself in determining when to have sex that is right for you and not by X age. That you own yourself and you aren't dictated by pressure. That takes strength.

You should never EVER be ashamed about the decision YOU made about YOUR life. Ever. You should take pride in the fact that you have complete control of your life, that you are exercising your agency, and deciding when is a good time to have sex when you decide. Feel shame if you hurt someone, not because you half-assedly fucked some random guy just to get rid of some preconceived social notion by an age that is arbitrarily set in society.

I just want to reassure you that it's okay not to have sex, just as it is okay to have it. You do what is right for you and fuck the rest. Literally, if you want to, or figuratively if you don't. :D
 
xtinelauren1 said:
I'm happy to see this thread hasn't died. I've actually encountered a few other virgins in their 20's as well here so hopefully this thread helps them out as well.

With that being said, I was out with friends and the topic of sex came up like it usually does, and I actually found myself being really self conscious and actually ashamed that I'm still a virgin. I know in the back of my mind it's not a big deal, but still. I remember talking with my stepmother and she said guys will wonder what's wrong with me that I'm still a virgin past 21. I want to start having sex, but whenever I've had the opportunity to, I back away. I don't know if it's all shyness, I mean I blew a guy and let him do all kinds of shit to me who I knew for a solid hour, and didn't care. I don't know...
Click to expand...

I'm 25 and a virgin. I'm usually not embarrassed by it, but every time conversations come up like "When did you lose your virginity?" I clam up. Mostly because I hate the looks and the questions... Like I'm some animal in danger of extinction, haha.
 
fire_breeze said:
For some people, having sex is a big deal. For others, it isn't. For some people, there has to be deeper connection; for others, said connection is not important. There isn't a right or wrong way about it, it's how you are wired.

There is nothing wrong for wanting one's first time to be enjoyable, and to be with someone that you trust and are comfortable with. Sometimes, it takes a while to find that person. Would you wonder why someone in her thirties isn't married, wondering if there is something wrong with him? No. You would chalk it up to a personal decision or that it just hasn't happened yet. Same thing.

If you aren't sure when you have had opportunities to have sex, then you are doing the right thing because it often means that either you aren't ready to have sex or there is something iffy with the guy. Having sex when you are uncertain, especially your first time, is a recipe for disaster, and in my book, unless you are sure, unless you can talk about sex with your potential partner, unless you are prepared to take the potential consequences, you shouldn't be having it (especially if you are unsure). Yes, you may find yourself enjoying yourself, but there is also a chance (if you are unsure, that is) that you will tense up and not enjoy yourself. Unenjoyable sex is very very hard to get over. Trust me.

You know what it says about you? That you value yourself in determining when to have sex that is right for you and not by X age. That you own yourself and you aren't dictated by pressure. That takes strength.

You should never EVER be ashamed about the decision YOU made about YOUR life. Ever. You should take pride in the fact that you have complete control of your life, that you are exercising your agency, and deciding when is a good time to have sex when you decide. Feel shame if you hurt someone, not because you half-assedly fucked some random guy just to get rid of some preconceived social notion by an age that is arbitrarily set in society.

I just want to reassure you that it's okay not to have sex, just as it is okay to have it. You do what is right for you and fuck the rest. Literally, if you want to, or figuratively if you don't. :D
Click to expand...

This made me feel a lot better. I think my biggest issue is I keep psyching myself out about it. I know it'll happen when I'm completely ready for it to, but I'm just ready if that makes any sense.. I feel like in a weird way I'm a very sexual person although my experience is limited.
 
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jessalynn15 said:
I'm 25 and a virgin. I'm usually not embarrassed by it, but every time conversations come up like "When did you lose your virginity?" I clam up. Mostly because I hate the looks and the questions... Like I'm some animal in danger of extinction, haha.
Click to expand...

I definitely know that feeling. Like some of my closet friends are having tons of sex and whenever they talk about their many sexcapades, I just nod my head and agree with whatever they're saying like I TOTALLY know what they're talking about haha. Meanwhile the majority of my knowledge comes from Cosmo and the random sex books I pick up whenever I'm at Barnes and Noble.
 
Also, sex has always been really fascinating to me. I can't even begin to tell say how many books on the subject I've amassed over the years. I just love reading and learning about it. I love it even though I've never experienced it.
 
I'm 26 and in the same boat. As a guy there can be a definite difficulty to engage in certain settings when you are a virgin, especially when you love sports and around lots of athletic people. I know I can't be the only one, but I'm betting that it is a small small minority in this age group.

Mid 20's is also a transitional period too. People are establishing careers, some are getting married, and some are married and now thinking about families. When you are farther back in the continuum it can be awkward. Right now, my feeling is awkward is not the worst thing in the world. I have't lost anybody because of it. The reasons for me are in my control, so it's up to me to work on me...if that made any sense.
 
xtinelauren1 said:
Also, sex has always been really fascinating to me. I can't even begin to tell say how many books on the subject I've amassed over the years. I just love reading and learning about it. I love it even though I've never experienced it.
Click to expand...
I can definitely understand that. I think I'm a very sexual person inside my head. Actually realizing it in the world around me is another case it seems. It feels like a different shade of the term "head case."
 
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