Feedback Wanted for Angel in Heat

Feedback Request: Angel in Heat

Hi everybody!

I just had my first story submitted here at Literotica and came home today to find 62 votes already and a 4 star average! Yay! Sadly, no comments. If you are willing, please leave me some constructive criticism here in this thread. I'm a new author and I could really use the feedback. Please be honest, but gentle with me.

Angel in Heat by C. B. Sinclair
https://www.literotica.com/s/angel-in-heat
It's in the Group Sex category. This very short piece is about a young actress who contemplates becoming a porn star. She's not sure if she'd be willing to have sex with strangers in front of an audience. That is until she encounters three men in a sauna. It changes her outlook.

FYI, this is the first in a series. I actually published the second book from the series because it was a Christmas fantasy and it was my gift to myself, to push me into a writing career. It's free on Smashwords, so if you enjoy this one, you might like Angel Under the Tree.

The idea behind the story was good. You need to fill out the story some more. Details, use all senses, and work on the dialogue. But really good start. I was the same way, if you look at my first story it's almost embarrassing compared to my last ones.
https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=913553&page=submissions

Thanks, storm! That's exactly the sort of feedback I need. I totally get what you're saying. I'm not sure how to flesh things out. How did you learn how to build a scene?

I am definitely going to read yours.

Ask anyone. I do nor give praise lightly. Very hot sexy story. Decent character development with few words to do so. While not great literature, I consider your story top rate porn. Well done. I prefer a bit more cat-and-mouse, a bit of seduction, a bit less violence, at least the first time, but all of it at once was very brave of her and you. Thank god for what we can do in our fantasies. If you would like a PM I could make some strong suggestions about action, character development, etc
Read my story: "Come Sail away With Me", my attempt to write a classical romance story with a bit more zing.https://www.literotica.com/s/come-sail-away-with-me-